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 AUTHOR
 goingforward
Joined: 4/10/2007
Msg: 26
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall manPage 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Well, Virgo, I'm sorry you had to go through this date, and these responses to learn a few things....

Here is my two cents I was saving for the fountain down the street.....

When talking to people that you intend on dating or meeting soon, tell them the type of person you are, that you prefer "gentlemen" compared to " equals".

Second, The male responses you have gotten here that seem mean, I can only hope to explain, for I too, sometimes am bewildered by a few things that woman have created for themselves..... Like equal rights and being liberated and such....

See, guys are starting to finally look at woman as equals, in all aspects, this is something that not all woman appearantly wanted, such as yourself. But so many have now for many years wanted equal pay, equal rights, equal everything, ( and that song, anything you can do, I can do better didn't help the situation)..and finally woman have their wish. So thats why guys on here are saying, " pull your own chair out, or buy your own drink".... Personally, I cannot do this, I would pull a chair out for a stranger (woman) in a place regardless.... Something in my upbringing.....

Next time, when getting to know someone, give the little questions to the guy, that would indicate to you how his perspective on this particular issue suits him...?? and then when deciding to even meet him or not, based on how you like to be treated, it would tell you if you decide not only to go anyway, but whether or not you should stop at the bank on your way.....

Good luck to you on your next tall date, or short..... and I hope this gave you some insight into what men are thinking these days, even though, I hope there are some woman like you that will continue to still exist, and like to be treated like a lady, for some of us, it makes us feel like a man......

 scrambledeggs
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 27
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 7:07:29 PM
So let me get this straight . . . you met someone from fishes, and it turns out they were rude and acted irrationally?

WOW hold the presses!

The only explanation is that he thought you weren't his type and wasn't able to express his disappointment so tried to drive you away. But that doesn't make sense because your picture was on your profile.

So my guess is . . . .


"just plain nuts"
 Sigi
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 28
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 7:10:17 PM

By they way, he didn't know that I walked 20 blocks to met him.


So why bringing this up in the first place? It was your decision to do so.
 virgo912
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 29
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 7:15:21 PM
Good point, maybe he didn't like me and was trying to be rude. That could be it, but I do have a rocking body and he did compliment me when I showed up.

The reason why I brought up the 20 blocks of walking was just a was of expressing my state of mind.
 Sigi
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 30
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 7:22:15 PM

The reason why I brought up the 20 blocks of walking was just a was of expressing my state of mind.


Maybe if you would have arrived in a more relaxed state of mind...and not walking 20 blocks in the rain...the start of the date would have been more relaxed?

Just a thought that crossed my mind....
 cherryred1
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 31
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 7:35:59 PM
ABSOLUTELY! If I was going out with a friend or it was after a few times sure I’d pay. But let’s face it, if HE asks you out or to meet, then be a man and pay the lady a damn drink at the very least! I fully agree, he was probably only looking for a quick roll and when he felt you wouldn’t put up well… it’s like the one man that asked me out for diner and when I told him around desert I wouldn’t go back to his place; he left me high and dry to pay...NO CLASS!!! Now the manager of the restaurant who saw this, didn’t make me pay for my diner and I didn’t have to go to bed with him, now that’s CLASS!
 An Acronym
Joined: 4/21/2006
Msg: 32
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 7:52:03 PM
quote]Had he told me from the start that look "I'm poor and have no manners" (he's 45) from the start, I would not have met him.

^^ Ouch.
No blasting you OP, but:
Am sure you were frustrated, upset, etc. Hell, will even assume the guy was a jerk.
But your attitude stinks - sorry.
He should have offered his seat, should have paid simply because it's courtesy, and you should have offered (if he did pay) your own way - but what does you being "a lady" have to do with any of this?
You seem to expect all the benefits of Scarlet O'Hara (whatever that "Gone with the Wind woman's name was ...) without any of the responsibilities of simply being an independant woman.
 onesimpleneed
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 33
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:32:49 PM
OP,

Actually I missed the part about the seat thing. That is rude period. If I was meeting someone regardless of their gender and they came in out of the rain, I would offer them the chair for a while out of common courtesy. That has nothing to do with manners.

However, go check out some of the manner threads. I have been on enough God awful dates where I show up with flowers, open doors, pull out chairs, let her order first, stand up if she excuses herself, just to be ripped for being "old fashioned" and "I can do these things myself" that I don't date anymore and I don't hold doors open for anyone period anymore with one exception.

That exception being older people who actually still appreciate manners, especially elderly women.

We can't / won't /don't care to sort out the radial feminists from the normal women anymore.

Cheers!
 Genrae
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 34
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 8:50:36 PM

I think you all are missing the point here that the OP is stating. This guy had no manners
Bingo!
 doobiebro
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 35
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 9:06:50 PM
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I wonder if I haven't just figured why its so hard for people to get together here. By the time you calculate the required parameters, recalling all pertinent and politically correct formats for the correct situation, including variables to arrive at a solution, the friggen date is over and you still couldn't decide who pays first? Shit, glad I'm raised old fashioned, and if women have the right to be equal, I have the right to give my chair, buy a drink, dinner, whatever. And be happy doing it, Virgo, you get out to CA and I guarantee I'll find you a place to sit with a hot drink and a towel, hope the jerk had to walk 40 to get wherever.
Now you know why shorter guys complain alot, we know how to treat a lady, problem is, they don't know, that we know, I think?
 fun-in-the-sun64
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 36
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 10:28:28 PM
OK, this is a pretty interesting and revealing thread. It really speaks to two different subjects "who's paying" and "common courtesy".

On the subject of money and traditional values: I always pay on the first date but is that really the expectation? In 2007? In practice I usually always pay on the first 2-4 dates though it's very telling about the person I'm seeing if they offer to pay somewhere in the first few dates. It also depends on what I perceive their income to be. Obviously if I make three times what she makes then it really makes more sense for me to just keep paying. If she makes as much as I do or somewhere in that vicinity then she probably should at least offer at some point in the first 3 dates. The whole women's lib thing and more women in the work place has blurred the line on what's expected and what's traditional. I think in my generation you're likely to find a preponderance of guys who pay just out of habit but I don't honestly believe that should be the expectation in this day and age. One other point, who asked who out? I've had women offer to pay because they invite me out and they felt somewhat obligated. I always just pay anyway because I was raised with "traditional" values but this theory does have some merit. The paradigm is clearly changing and your air of entitlement is a little unattractive though you're clearly not alone in your perception of what makes a date. maybe you should be more upfront in your profile or in your interaction pre meeting.

On the subject of courtesy I can tell you as a tall guy it sometimes makes a lot more sense in a crowded space for me to sit and the woman stand so we can actually be at the same eye level. It really helps in communicating in a loud place. It's possible he was thinking this or subconsciously aware of it. He still should have made some effort to either find you a chair, or offered his but I just wanted to put a possible different spin on things.

You didn't score any major courtesy points either when you confronted your "date" within a few minutes. Maybe he was planning on paying for dinner if it proceeded to that point. Maybe he's had 7 dates this week (there are women who do this and don't pay for any of them) and he's trying to conserve funds for the ones that seem promising. I really have no idea but it's a little onerous to attack your date so quickly over a $5 drink. Maybe he wanted to see if you were what he deemed to be a "gold digger" and you failed his test so you didn't see him go outside and get in the rolls... ;)
 A MUZEing..
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 37
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 10:38:30 PM
OP, I also like a man who behaves like a gentleman with manners. This clod had no idea how to impress a lady, and he has the nerve to make it your fault! .. it seems to me you were taken aback and not necessarily intentional in your response. He should have offered you a chair: NOT because he didn't think you were capable of managing on your own, but because it's a gallant, old-fashioned and charming thing to do. He simply lacked that courtesy.
You lost nothing except maybe the $5 for the drink, but that was a bargain for seeing the reality.

Guys, just because women have come into their own as far as equality, careers, etc.. please don't assume we don't appreciate courtly niceties. (if a woman gets hostile because you opened her door or pulled out her chair, etc, that might be someone with an axe to grind in other areas .. but that's a whole 'nother post)
It's not that we are trying to have it both ways. I for one just feel more attracted emotionally to a man whose behaviour tells me he thinks of me as a lady, and would like to make my acquaintance.

If you seemed abrupt and less amiable to this guy, I can't say I blame you: his whole demeanour was careless. He may not be used to a lady, so he didn't prepare for one.
 scrambledeggs
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 38
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 10:41:29 PM
This has become a pointless thread. The dude was a LOSER. Who cares if she walked 20 miles.

She should have hit him over the head repeatedly until his social IQ increased from 3 points to 75 (the minimum for this site). Then she should have used her kicks to "scramble his eggs". That's the only thing rude morons understand, a kick to the naughties.
 Calray
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 39
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 11:00:09 PM
Let's look at another side of the same coin. I meet someone online and I make arrangements for a Starbucks/movie date. I fandango tickets and put them on my card. She insists on repaying me for the tickets. I had her Starbucks waiting for her when she arrived (I already knew what she would order). She hands me a five at the end of the date because she forgot to pay me for the coffee. 2nd date is clearly going dutch and the waitress forgets to split our bill. She's paying with her card and I have cash. I hand her a$10 bill and she splits hairs over the $2.02 I overpaid her. I felt like I needed to take an accounting class to make sure that we only paid our share. Never made it to date 3. Never will.
 Christian seeks Christian
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 40
Speed Date
Posted: 6/12/2007 11:08:51 PM
Hi Virgo, that's why it's called Speed Date. You only need to spend 5 minutes in Speed Date to see if you like someone and if they like you. And if the guy can't interest you, be polite or do the right thing in a 5 minute speed date then of course, he has problems, and you move on, only 5 minutes wasted in speed date..
If someone is so socially inept they do not make sense in 5 minute as with speed date lol you KNOW they are disturbed and socially inept and then you do not want or need to know anything else about them. If a man can not be a gentleman for 5 minutes, give you his seat, be polite, interest you in the first 5 minutes you KNOW he is not for you, so the only problem I see is you stayed 10 minutes, 5 minutes too long. Next time use a timer or set your watch for 5 minutes and if the guy can not make sense, interest you or be a gentleman for 5 minutes, when your timer rings after 5 minutes, say thank you but no thank you, end the chat, date or phone call and move on. If the guy is nice and interesting after 5 minutes, tell him your interested and see if he is also interested, if you both agree and are both interested, take more time. Speed Date became popular because it makes good sense.
Good Luck and use your 5 minute Speed Date timer.
 RalGash
Joined: 2/7/2006
Msg: 41
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 11:20:28 PM
Being a 5'9 husky woman I would have TAKEN his seat from him if it was the only one available, plunk my butt down in it and helped myself to his drink.
 EugeneW
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 42
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 11:28:31 PM
As a tall guy, well 6'2", I'm glad I'm not looking for a date and I love these forums!!


EugeneW
 Lookee
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 43
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 11:39:23 PM
OP, I guess if he was a short guy none of this would have happened, probably because you would have kicked his a$$ and taken the seat.

It would be nice if you didn't Generalize about tall men in this way, being a very tall man I am insulted. Damn New Yorkers are all the same
 Thisgirledm
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 44
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/12/2007 11:48:09 PM
The guy was a cheap unmannered bore and you deserve better. You should have waited a little longer before agreeing to meet him. I'll bet after a few more emails and phone conversations his true personality would of come to the surface and you would of decided that he wasn't worth meeting. Don't let these guys rush you into a meeting, and when you do agree, make sure that he asks you out and intends it as a date. He should ask just as he would if he'd met you in a regular way, like: "would you like to go for a drink Friday night?" Not , "do you want to meet up?" I don't do "coffee dates" or "walk dates". I figure that if the guy can't spring for dinner and spend a few hours with me, he' s a cheapskate or he's meeting a lot of other women and I don't want him. These guys on here talking about "dutch dates" don't deserve to meet girls. What would life be like married to one of those tightwads? They have no business dating if they can't afford it. They'll go on about why should the guy pay etc. it gets expensive etc. It's not if they aren't dating everybody they contact, a meeting should be a selective, well thought out thing with a select few people, not a matter of course. Chin up girl, the guy was a dirtbag, just please be more selective next time about agreeing to a meeting.
 who_the_fox
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 45
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/13/2007 5:24:56 AM
Unless he forced you to travel the 20 blocks by walking, it is not his problem. It was your choice, don't whine about it.

I have a big problem with him not standing when you arrived. It is very impolite for him to remain seated and not stand to greet you, regardless of there being an empty seat adjacent or not. I would also be wondering why he did not have a seat ready for your arrival.


That's the truth - sorry for some of you women who pay your own way. That's not a date, that's a dude looking to get laid for free and not have to work for anything. I'm


I pay for my own drink/coffee/ice cream on first meets. I just prefer it that way. The "dude" isn't getting laid even if he does pay for my $5 drink.
 The Ram
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 46
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/13/2007 5:38:05 AM
i think you were pissed off by, NOT getting a RAVING compliment from him,
like,
"Oh my god, you have the body of an angel, and a face that could launch a 1000 ships"

quote:
[ /That could be it, but I do have a rocking body and he did compliment me when I showed up.]

its girls like you that give the term "Stuck up & Snobby" a bad name...
 The Ram
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 47
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/13/2007 5:42:33 AM
he, also didnt have much to offer in the CLASS stakes... did he?
sounds like you two could have been a match made in hell!!

 goingforward
Joined: 4/10/2007
Msg: 48
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/13/2007 6:02:16 AM
Hi Virgo, that's why it's called Speed Date. You only need to spend 5 minutes in Speed Date to see if you like someone and if they like you. And if the guy can't interest you, be polite or do the right thing in a 5 minute speed date then of course, he has problems, and you move on, only 5 minutes wasted in speed date..
If someone is so socially inept they do not make sense in 5 minute as with speed date lol you KNOW they are disturbed and socially inept and then you do not want or need to know anything else about them. If a man can not be a gentleman for 5 minutes, give you his seat, be polite, interest you in the first 5 minutes you KNOW he is not for you, so the only problem I see is you stayed 10 minutes, 5 minutes too long. Next time use a timer or set your watch for 5 minutes and if the guy can not make sense, interest you or be a gentleman for 5 minutes, when your timer rings after 5 minutes, say thank you but no thank you, end the chat, date or phone call and move on. If the guy is nice and interesting after 5 minutes, tell him your interested and see if he is also interested, if you both agree and are both interested, take more time. Speed Date became popular because it makes good sense.
Good Luck and use your 5 minute Speed Date timer.


LOL....and I have only 5 minutes to write this, and speed dating is so quick, Want some coffee, mocha, expresso, cappachino, latte..?? So how are you, what do you do.? how'd ya get here.? Who's your mom? what do you drive? got kids? how old are they? can you cook? whats your shoe size? do you smoke? Drink? treat your mom well? Whats your fav movie? fav actor? ever been in jail? kiss on a first date? own a home? rent? ever hit a woman? like sports? what kind? .........

Stop,! ooopsss. sorry your time is up........Glad to have to known ya....!
 paul1066
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 49
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/13/2007 6:20:09 AM
virgo912,
the more i read about American men the more i realize they have big problems!! do they all have big ego's and small****, or is it the minority really cant shake off their inbred roots, we get them here occasionally and they are totally out of their depth with social graces, and cant even eat properly, put a prick in a city and he becomes a bigger one, it's a bit like uniforms!!
 who_the_fox
Joined: 1/19/2007
Msg: 50
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/13/2007 6:36:48 AM

Your comments appear that you're up for sale for the highest bidder. How is that working for you?
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