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 LeSportSac
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 126
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall manPage 6 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
uh_coog

IT WAS A BAD DATE!!! No! Need to question it.

 sacredwarrior
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 127
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 4:55:29 AM
Boy I`m glad I Kissed Dating Good-Bye
 trubblemakr
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 128
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 5:12:48 AM
well first off if indeed this was a date. how come he didnt come pick u up in his car? or are guy to poor in the usa to drive? i mean in the movies ya all drive cars, i dont know if they are all hot cars but cmon . on a date the guy offers to pick up the girl or he at least offers to goto a place close to where she lives so there isnt alot of walking involved
. the first drink tho is i imagine since this was a first meeting and not as iu referred to it as a date
on the first meet it is fend for yourself i agree. hey why should either of you invest money in someone you very well may not liek anyways
thats why ya dont meet in a bar tho
if u meet your new friend in a bar, that tells me they are mot comdfortable in a bar, therefore probably a drunk in training or semi alcoholic
myself i dont need booze to make me comfortable if im meeting someone
perhaps it isnt class u need but maturity, dont get them mistaken as they are different. first off ladies, dont meet for the first time in a pub or a bar , meet at a coffee shop or for a lunch/dinner . this way you will know your future fiend should b sober and clear headed and not under the influence of drinks .
unless of course u are the drunk i suppose then carry on meeting in the bar and carry on going from one date to the next
 TopazGoddess
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 129
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 6:54:19 AM
Sounds like you went on a date with my ex *shudder*
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 130
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 7:13:15 AM

anatomynurse msg 76: yall know why this ape acted like he did???? because his experience is with the margo s of this world that think because they preach equal treatment thats what they get well guess what,, YAH DO
…. and margo before you start yelling? just wait for the fella that wants you to pay his way, buy his gas there and leaves you standing in the rain so his suit you purchased dosent get wet lolol


Why in the world would I yell at you? LOL, although the wide variance of opinion in this thread certainly gives me additional insight as to why some men are so confused about dating.

I personally don’t see paying for a date as an equality or independence issue. I view it through the lens of fairness

1. Is it fair to automatically expect one person to always pay?
2. Is it fair to judge their manliness based on whether or not he pays your way?
3. I’m also pondering this thought…. If you EXPECT a man to pay, are you truly appreciative for his generosity or has he just fulfilled a transaction?

Anatomynurse, your extreme example made me laugh, I value fairness and kindness so I highly doubt the man you envision would be in my life for longer than :30 seconds… on the other hand, you also won’t be reading a thread about him.
 SentientIncantation
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 131
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 7:20:12 AM
Interesting . . .

From msg 25

The asker-outer always pays since it was their idea.




If the girl asks the guy out, she offers to pay. If the guy asks the girl out, he pays.
 iris43
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 132
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 7:30:01 AM
This whole thread Boggles my mind !!!!
 mechrema
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 133
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:24:43 AM
to me that gentleman like behavior seems condecening or minulipitive to some degree. it come for a time when girls were concidered chattle and could not vote nor really have much say in anything concidered " important", so you treated them as you would children and payed for them, and held doors, and pulled out chairs.

in the context of modern socity it seems minulipitive to do exactly what the girl wants or expects as in pulling out chairs and paying for drinks etc.... seems like being a bullshit artist, but it does make them feel cherished, kinda like a vase. too many relationships are founded on bullshiting and when the truth comes out suddely both partys are surprised.

if things are going to perfectly seems like someones hiding something, even if its simply an oppion.

ash
 Chocolatebrowne
Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 134
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 8:27:55 AM
I agree with you 1,000% virgo912....
 mechrema
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 135
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 9:12:55 AM

As for your comments that we deserve to be treated like crap because we do not support your opinion I do not feel that because we choose not to be demanding, assuming, high maintance women/princesses does not mean we are not worthy. In fact, I suspect its women like us that actually get treated better. Come on guys, vouch for me on this one. Admit it, you're more likely to pay for a date if its appreciated not EXPECTED/DEMANDED. Frankly, people like to be appreciated, not taken for granted. No one likes being considered a meal ticket.


yes you get treated better and as an added bouns i acually want ot hear you oppions on things becaseu i concider you equil.

oh yeah and you not selling sex for monetary and socal favors.

ash
 mach7
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 136
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 9:55:21 AM

Admit it, you're more likely to pay for a date if its appreciated not EXPECTED/DEMANDED.


That's the bottom line. I'm polite on my dates because it's appreciated. The minute I get the impression it's expected is the minute the dates over. People assume too much.

Assume makes an ass of u and me.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 137
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 11:02:28 AM
If only there were more men like those in Msg 122 and 125, and local to me!!



We have different ideas of what a date should be. The shock was I have never been treated that way from a man. I would have been interested in him had he stood up to greet me or he could have said "Let's get a table" so we could all sit.


I think it's more there's a difference of what one considers a 'date' or a 'meeting'... When I first meet somoeone, it's just that - meeting them for the first time. I prefer we split the tab since we may not care to go on an actual date...and why wouls I ask someone who's essentially a stranger to pay for my coffee, drink, dinner, etc? If he does ask me out for an actual date after this first meeting, I still offer to pay half; if he insists on paying the entire bill, if we haven't had dessert I'll suggest going for coffee and dessert and I pay for it and/or I insist on paying for the next dinner. But I have to ask why, if you thought there were red flags, you still went to meet him? I'd have either had another phone conversation before agreeing to meet, or, if I was that uncomfortable with what i thought were red flags, I would have ended things right there.


I think he was just being selfish and just wasn't thinking about anyone else but himself. Come on - a date is TEAMWORK. We're both in this together. As for the $5 drink, I don't think you're getting the point. I make well over 6 figures I can afford it, it's about tradition. Had we gone out 2, I make it a rule to pick up on the 3rd date. I know I live in an expensive city and would never abuse someone by having them spend lots of money on me.


Where do you get drinks for $5 in NYC? I've never found them that cheap there...we pay more than that for a drink here in many places, and we have 1 million people to NYC's 8+ million. But as far as teamwork goes, did this guy understand you were on an actual 'date' and what your expectations of dating are? Or did he think it was a simple meeting? Next time, you might want to let people you're going to meet know that you believe it's a date, and what your expectations are...they pay, they have good manners, and you buy dinner on the 3rd date, etc....then no one will have unmet expectations... No one is a mind reader ;)



Also, this is NYC - so my comment was not rude.


Do you mean that people in NYC *are* rude? Funny...some give it that reputation, but I've never found it to be that way at all.
 writer59
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 138
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 11:59:53 AM

You were born with breasts and therefore it is not your responsibility to contribute?


Born with breasts??? Wow!! I didn't get mine until I was 14 or 15. I had to get my milk from Mom's.
 virgo912
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 139
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:05:13 PM
The only time I go on a meeting is at work. I've never heard of it in dating. Maybe it's a canadian thing? Here - in the USA it's called "On line dating" so you plan on going on a date and not a meeting. I can't imagine saying to someone - Hey do you want to go to a meeting on Saturday? They would look at and and say, "I don't work on Saturdays".

See what I mean?
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 140
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:05:31 PM
This is an interesting thread, I promise to post something a bit more substantial, I haven't read it all just yet. Quick comment to ladies: Unless the guy mentions that he is buying the drinks, don't assume it if you and he agree just to meet for a drink. Now if he is the one doing the inviting and doing all the planning, etiquette indicates that the planner pay for the date. This seemed to be more of a meeting than a date, so I'd assume Dutch unless discussed otherwise.
 nupes
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 141
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:12:04 PM
I was raised as a kid to do a lot of things I thought was weird at the time. Pulling out a chair for a lady, standing up when she came back in the room, opening doors, offering help in things that might physically be too much for her, ect.... Call it chivalry, politeness, respect, tradition or whatever you like. When I questioned it my parents would say, shut up, one day you'll meet that special woman for whom this will matter, and for the ones who it dosn't, you will be happy to avoid. The point is ...it works both ways. A guy can come home all battered from a lousy day and a nice foot massage, a warm meal or a head to rest on is a nice consolation in return. A small price to pay, specially if its from your heart or second nature. I have been insulted by woman (strangers) who I would offer a chair to or open a door for and they would say something like "you think I'm weak?" or "I can't open it myself". They obviously have an axe to grind or just need to see fur in their claws and I take that in stride. But as for a date i look for unsefishness....I let them in the passenger side of my car, some will lean over and pop the lock on my side for me before I get there....Thats what I'm talking about.
" As for "equal opportunity" and equal treatment....thats workplace crap....we got woman grunting in foxholes and flying in spacecraft ...its a job...and if they can do it , they deserve the rightful spoils and credit.....dating is not a job...no comparison, like apples and oranges.
 onesimpleneed
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 142
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:13:56 PM
Hey!

I was born with breasts too! Cool...I can be as irresponsible as I want. Hopefully my boobs won't come in until I'm at least 90...ah...the 'manzeer'...
 Truucha
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 143
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:34:57 PM
First off I'm guilty of NOT reading the whole thread!!

Having said that, Yes He should have 0ffered you a seat. Even I would have done that!
But about the drink, how hilarious that a guy is a "jerk" and a "loser" for not "paying" for a womens drink......lol
Guys (and women too) how many times have we been out on dates and paid for everything from cab fare to dessert, then not even gotten a "thank you" or a call back?? Or only to be told "sorry we're just not a good match". The point is, initially two people meeting for the first time are nothing more than Friends at best. Ladies how many time when you go out with your girlfriends do YOU pay for their drinks, or their way somewhere?????
Most likely NEVER unless she's going to pay you back, or get the next one. Why in the hell am I supposed to pay for your chit, when I don't even know you? If and when we get to know each other then you betcha I'll look out for you, if I feel you'd do the same for me.
My days of shelling out bucks to impress women are over! You'd be surprised how many women respect a man who is up front about things and explains it in a logical way instead of being percieved as cheap. If not then I simply meet at the park, invite her over to watch a movie, eat some popcorn, a glass of whine. I'm not paying one red cent to be in anyone's company, unless the feeling is mutual!
 LordofArachnids
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 144
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:40:20 PM
wow, you listed nothing really to complain about, as to me, the first date should always be dutch unless you are going out for dinner, going to a bar, you should expect to pay your own way. Him not offering you his chair, he is probably a really nice guy but just didnt think of it at the time, as that is what makes us humanm, imperfection. From what you said, it seems like you were just looking for bad things instead of focussing on having a good time, your reaction is no way fair to him.
 Truucha
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 145
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:52:24 PM

wow, you listed nothing really to complain about, as to me, the first date should always be dutch unless you are going out for dinner, going to a bar, you should expect to pay your own way. Him not offering you his chair, he is probably a really nice guy but just didnt think of it at the time, as that is what makes us humanm, imperfection. From what you said, it seems like you were just looking for bad things instead of focussing on having a good time, your reaction is no way fair to him.


VERY WELL SAID!
 goomba2
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 146
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:53:32 PM

It's tradition


You keep going on about what is a traditional role for a man, when on a Date. The traditional role would have been for him to come and get you then either drive/taxi/bus/ walk, to the place that you will enjoy the evening at. You have eluded that the Taxi's do not run after 7 pm. I haven't been to NYC in about 20 years, but all those Taxi cab confession shows and cops and such tells me otherwise. So I will admit to being confused by this, but will accept your statement of it. I understand that living in such a big city is not practical for everyone to own a car. This guy still didn't pick you up. It sounds like you arranged a get together/ meeting/ etc., to see if there is anything compatable.



I'm a lady and expect to be treated like a lady...I ask him, so do you always have your dates fend for themselves


Generally a lady has a little more couth than to be that brazen within ten minutes. Again I believe that long wet walk might have altered your immediate attitude.


Also, this is NYC - so my comment was not rude.


Awwwwwe location dictates the behavior of a lady. If you had spoken to me like that, I would have walked out. Generally not offering his chair, I could see as rude. But hey, he's a New Yorker. I shouldn't see that as rude either I guese.


That's the truth - sorry for some of you women who pay your own way. That's not a date, that's a dude looking to get laid for free and not have to work for anything.


That d-mn Pink song came on the radio again this morning. "Don't give me a drink just give me the money. It's just you and your hand tonight."

So if he doesn't pay, he just wants to get laid for free. If he did....well there is a word or two for that.
 virgo912
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 147
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:17:45 PM
Of course they have cabs in NYC - the point is when it's raining and it's 7, there are not any available because people are using them. Come on now.

The date was for 7 minutes - OK I'm done, I'm over it. Lets move on and stop picking on me.
 nupes
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 148
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:28:35 PM
Hmmmm, I don't think someone walks all that way is looking for bad things, but bad things sometimes jump at ya whether your looking or not. Imperfection is not what makes us human, its a byproduct.....treating others as we would like to be treated ourselves and not acting selfish like (some) animals is what makes us human. If she would have stood all night and offered to buy all his drinks for him and perhaps a limo ride home for him....I'm sure this character would not have felt guilty...but rather on top of the world.
 Redmoonpmv
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 149
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:38:34 PM
I'm over 40, and I'm from the South. One of the ancient axioms the Older Women passed on to me when I was young and didn't listen - but now I know they were very right - are these things;

Men do not change, except for the worse. Ergo, if they do not "treat you like a lady" from the beginning --then consider yourself lucky and smart to have high enough standards-- aka self respect - and expectations that you walk off.

Look at it this way: a street hooker, a courtesan, and a wife all sell the same product -- it depends on what price the woman is willing to accept.

Hmm.. perhaps this would be misconstrued; let's try again. If the man were a woman friend you were meeting, would the behavior have been rude and appropriate?
 PAPPA1948
Joined: 4/27/2007
Msg: 150
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 2:00:26 PM
NEXT.............. not all of us are so completely oblivious to our surroundings and the people with whom we are sharing time. You were right, he was wrong and gone........... see ya
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