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 onesimpleneed
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 126
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall manPage 6 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Hey!

I was born with breasts too! Cool...I can be as irresponsible as I want. Hopefully my boobs won't come in until I'm at least 90...ah...the 'manzeer'...
 Truucha
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 127
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:34:57 PM
First off I'm guilty of NOT reading the whole thread!!

Having said that, Yes He should have 0ffered you a seat. Even I would have done that!
But about the drink, how hilarious that a guy is a "jerk" and a "loser" for not "paying" for a womens drink......lol
Guys (and women too) how many times have we been out on dates and paid for everything from cab fare to dessert, then not even gotten a "thank you" or a call back?? Or only to be told "sorry we're just not a good match". The point is, initially two people meeting for the first time are nothing more than Friends at best. Ladies how many time when you go out with your girlfriends do YOU pay for their drinks, or their way somewhere?????
Most likely NEVER unless she's going to pay you back, or get the next one. Why in the hell am I supposed to pay for your chit, when I don't even know you? If and when we get to know each other then you betcha I'll look out for you, if I feel you'd do the same for me.
My days of shelling out bucks to impress women are over! You'd be surprised how many women respect a man who is up front about things and explains it in a logical way instead of being percieved as cheap. If not then I simply meet at the park, invite her over to watch a movie, eat some popcorn, a glass of whine. I'm not paying one red cent to be in anyone's company, unless the feeling is mutual!
 LordofArachnids
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 128
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:40:20 PM
wow, you listed nothing really to complain about, as to me, the first date should always be dutch unless you are going out for dinner, going to a bar, you should expect to pay your own way. Him not offering you his chair, he is probably a really nice guy but just didnt think of it at the time, as that is what makes us humanm, imperfection. From what you said, it seems like you were just looking for bad things instead of focussing on having a good time, your reaction is no way fair to him.
 Truucha
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 129
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:52:24 PM

wow, you listed nothing really to complain about, as to me, the first date should always be dutch unless you are going out for dinner, going to a bar, you should expect to pay your own way. Him not offering you his chair, he is probably a really nice guy but just didnt think of it at the time, as that is what makes us humanm, imperfection. From what you said, it seems like you were just looking for bad things instead of focussing on having a good time, your reaction is no way fair to him.


VERY WELL SAID!
 goomba2
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 130
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 12:53:32 PM

It's tradition


You keep going on about what is a traditional role for a man, when on a Date. The traditional role would have been for him to come and get you then either drive/taxi/bus/ walk, to the place that you will enjoy the evening at. You have eluded that the Taxi's do not run after 7 pm. I haven't been to NYC in about 20 years, but all those Taxi cab confession shows and cops and such tells me otherwise. So I will admit to being confused by this, but will accept your statement of it. I understand that living in such a big city is not practical for everyone to own a car. This guy still didn't pick you up. It sounds like you arranged a get together/ meeting/ etc., to see if there is anything compatable.



I'm a lady and expect to be treated like a lady...I ask him, so do you always have your dates fend for themselves


Generally a lady has a little more couth than to be that brazen within ten minutes. Again I believe that long wet walk might have altered your immediate attitude.


Also, this is NYC - so my comment was not rude.


Awwwwwe location dictates the behavior of a lady. If you had spoken to me like that, I would have walked out. Generally not offering his chair, I could see as rude. But hey, he's a New Yorker. I shouldn't see that as rude either I guese.


That's the truth - sorry for some of you women who pay your own way. That's not a date, that's a dude looking to get laid for free and not have to work for anything.


That d-mn Pink song came on the radio again this morning. "Don't give me a drink just give me the money. It's just you and your hand tonight."

So if he doesn't pay, he just wants to get laid for free. If he did....well there is a word or two for that.
 virgo912
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 131
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:17:45 PM
Of course they have cabs in NYC - the point is when it's raining and it's 7, there are not any available because people are using them. Come on now.

The date was for 7 minutes - OK I'm done, I'm over it. Lets move on and stop picking on me.
 nupes
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 132
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:28:35 PM
Hmmmm, I don't think someone walks all that way is looking for bad things, but bad things sometimes jump at ya whether your looking or not. Imperfection is not what makes us human, its a byproduct.....treating others as we would like to be treated ourselves and not acting selfish like (some) animals is what makes us human. If she would have stood all night and offered to buy all his drinks for him and perhaps a limo ride home for him....I'm sure this character would not have felt guilty...but rather on top of the world.
 Redmoonpmv
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 133
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 1:38:34 PM
I'm over 40, and I'm from the South. One of the ancient axioms the Older Women passed on to me when I was young and didn't listen - but now I know they were very right - are these things;

Men do not change, except for the worse. Ergo, if they do not "treat you like a lady" from the beginning --then consider yourself lucky and smart to have high enough standards-- aka self respect - and expectations that you walk off.

Look at it this way: a street hooker, a courtesan, and a wife all sell the same product -- it depends on what price the woman is willing to accept.

Hmm.. perhaps this would be misconstrued; let's try again. If the man were a woman friend you were meeting, would the behavior have been rude and appropriate?
 PAPPA1948
Joined: 4/27/2007
Msg: 134
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 2:00:26 PM
NEXT.............. not all of us are so completely oblivious to our surroundings and the people with whom we are sharing time. You were right, he was wrong and gone........... see ya
 devil_in_toronto
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 135
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 2:04:50 PM
were you woman enough??

you gave enough hints it to be a more of a sex thingy
 Ninki
Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 136
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 2:27:21 PM

If we ain't ****ing, we ain't dating.


SeattleRob, your chances of having women reply to your emails should go way down now...

N.
 OpieDopey
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 137
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/15/2007 10:19:55 PM
so,you had a convo with him and the 2 of you decided on a "DATE" then you must have decided the when, where and how..did he offer to pick you up , as a "traditional" date . It seems you managed to get there on your own, did you say you could, therefore showing you could fend for yourself?

I am thinking he just found you nit-picky, like your arguement of a date vrs. a meeting.
 Genuine Hope
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 138
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/16/2007 12:14:26 AM
I guess I go into meeting someone with no expectations of them "taking care of me." I expect to pay my own way... and just to be treated "fairly." I guess when I meet, I do not look at it as a "date," per se. But, just to find out what the other person is like. Heck, I could be meeting the worst mannered person in the world (or worse)! How am I to know that beforehand? If I have no preconceived expectations, I won't be disappointed.

That is why it is in a public place, with no expectations.

In days gone by, people met face to face first. It was only after knowing them a while that a date may (or may not) occur. Maybe some put too much emphasis on the "date" thing...that is what happens in my estimation. I guess I just think it is foolish to think that someone will pay my way upon meeting them for the first time in my life. I see it as, life doesn't happen that way... and thinking it does is kind of a fairytale mentality.

If a guy decides to be a gentleman... pay for whatever, pull out my chair, open a door... good for him, and me. I have just met a gentleman, MAYBE. There could always be motives that we may not be aware of too.

I see the key to this INTERNET thing as... always beware, do not put your heart out there to be crushed, and don't take things too seriously. Lots of strange people in the world... and the NEWS has proven that a lot of them land in these "personals" and do not always have the best intentions in mind. So, my last word on KEYS to the INTERNET thing is BE CAREFUL!!!

I generally will not meet someone unless I have chatted with them quite a while... including on the phone. I hope to have a better feel for what I am getting into when we meet. I also look for solid "good charactor" values in our discussions.

I hope this all made sense.

~A
 LeSportSac
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 139
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/16/2007 12:19:52 AM

The only time I go on a meeting is at work. I've never heard of it in dating. Maybe it's a canadian thing? Here - in the USA it's called "On line dating" so you plan on going on a date and not a meeting. I can't imagine saying to someone - Hey do you want to go to a meeting on Saturday? They would look at and and say, "I don't work on Saturdays".

See what I mean?


AGREE!! AGREE!! AGREE!! AGREE!!

What woman talks to a man online to go on a "meeting"
That's lame. Men don't talk to women to go to "meetings"

If a man has a personal interest in a woman the man will take the woman out on a date not a meeting. Don't know where Fish finds these people.


 crystalise
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 140
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/16/2007 4:18:17 AM
That's the truth - sorry for some of you women who pay your own way. That's not a date, that's a dude looking to get laid for free and not have to work for anything.


So ...then......what's a date where he does buy you a drink, hes still looking to get laid...just means he's prepared to pay for it?? And that makes someone a lady? hmmmmmmm

It is good manners for him to offer a drink yes, but money shouldnt come into it ie quoting the cost of the drink. Then its nice for the 'lady' to offer to buy him one back. Both of them can work out the lay later on if mutually acceptable, without counting how many drinks it takes to make it a reasonable transaction and to classify the woman as a lady. Actually I find it funny to equate to option of having sex or not with someone depends on how much money he spends on the woman's drinks and then use the word 'lady' in the same equation. That would mean the lady would have a price tag and the rest is just haggling over 'how much'
 Thudpucker
Joined: 8/14/2005
Msg: 141
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/16/2007 11:20:03 AM
Us guys from down south don’t treat our women that way.

At the risk of having the wrath of those militant feminists fall about my old-fashioned shoulders, I think “He done her wrong.”

His approach should have been to send a cab to pick her up and drop her off at the restaurant. He should have had the forethought to have a table reserved. A flower, though not a necessity, would have been a nice gesture.

Make the optimistic assumption that kindness, gentility, and chivalry are not dead -- (even in NYC).

I think those not-so-tall "yankee guys” need lessons on how to treat a lady.

. . . BTW, Thud said that.
 Struedel
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 142
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/16/2007 12:07:26 PM

If the man were a woman friend you were meeting, would the behavior have been rude and appropriate?


I'm going out on a limb here but I don't think she dates her woman friends.
 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 143
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/16/2007 1:00:15 PM
i'm a nice girl but i would have been b**** too. He shoud have offered you his chair and the drink, us nice girls have our limits too.
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 144
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/16/2007 1:23:40 PM
Too many times for me to remember exactly how many, on the internet conversing with a lady, e-mail, decide to meet, she totally misrepresented herself physically. It's not enjoyable to take that much time trying to learn something about somebody and then go to the trouble of going on a traditional "date" with a woman who you have no interest in whatsoever. That's why lots of people suggest first "meets" with people you meet via the internet. Personally I prefer to do just a few e-mails first, then decide to meet casually. Then if the "meeting" goes well, you can leave the evening open-ended, or plan a regular "date" for the next time you go out.

It's kind of ridiculous for either gender to expect things from the other without discussing those things first. I'm going to agree with the OP, since this guy suggested meeting for a drink, etiquette indicates as the inviter he pays. I might not be right as I was not a fly on the wall, but my guess is this dude was non-plussed by something about the OP, whatever it was he decided he wasn't going to be on his best behavior in order to get the date to end quickly--not offering a chair and not offering to pay for the drink for the person who you invited out to meet.
 fun-in-the-sun64
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 145
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Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/16/2007 2:26:22 PM
wow this thread spun way out of control with lots of flames:

cutiepiems wrote these two gems

well your posting shows me you are a loser and the kind of man I pray I never meet, I am willing to bet you can't maintain a relationship because your attitude, I bet you prefer the woman on top since you want a liberated woman, or your just plain stupid, probably both, I am also sure you could care less about a woman receiving pleasure because you seem to concerned with your own,



Well since you are not that attractive I bet you always have too pay chew on that , I think your jealous of the lady that posted the forum comment she is very attractive


Seriously, don't sugar coat it, tell us how you really feel.

Throw in a couple of guys from Canada and the UK throwing all American men under the bus and we have a real barn burner. Don't get me started on the grammatical liberties taken by these geniuses. Nor the large servings of cheese being served up on their profiles.

On topic: I think half the problem or more in this situation is perception. Most men still pay for dates. Most people seem to agree this is traditional and normal. But obviously from the wide range of responses on this thread not everyone even agrees on what constitutes a date. Maybe the other big factor was bad communication before the fateful meeting/date. If you're expectations are very specific you might want to clue the other person in on them beforehand or else determine to be a little more flexible with your expectations. Unless of course you're meeting miss Cleo because then you don't have to explain and she'll already be on the same page as you.
 * Succinct *
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 146
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/16/2007 2:51:09 PM
This could also be related to why a lot of men prefer younger women, they don't expect to be treated like a damsel in distress, they are content with being treated as an equal... for the record though, when I ask for a date I pay...period.
 VenusOcean
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 147
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/16/2007 3:05:40 PM

This could also be related to why a lot of men prefer younger women, they don't expect to be treated like a damsel in distress...


Hey! I resent that remark.
A bit of an over-generalization or what?
 Struedel
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 148
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/16/2007 3:50:13 PM
No, I doubt if that's why men go for younger women

As far as being treated equal, that only comes up where money is concerned. Men don't take women seriously if the woman has sex with them right away - but it's okay for them.

Double standard
 SentientIncantation
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 149
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/16/2007 4:01:17 PM
That's just a sacrifice we have to make to find out who we can take seriously.

All kidding aside, it is a like a walking a tight rope these days trying to be gallant. You get just as many women getting all huffy when you open a door for them as you do ones who stand there like a deer in headlights out of shock.

Calling people "Sir", "Ma'am", "Mr. ___", "Mrs. ___" or "Ms. ___" comes naturally to me as a result of years of upbringing in a British era boarding school. Same with opening doors, giving up a seat, etc. for the ladies, regardless of age. That is a bit of a handicap, in the business world especially. However, it is a sign of respect. I can deal with egos that may be too overinflated to recognize respect.
 CaliforniaBob
Joined: 1/12/2007
Msg: 150
Shortest Date Ever - With a very tall man
Posted: 6/16/2007 4:08:56 PM
In your profile you wrote,
"I can be the best friend you've ever had. I'm not controlling, or possessive, and expect the same in return. Confident, Successful, loving man looking for a serious relationship. Someone who has the same values as I do."

Which values are those? You said you didn't want a friend or a bud but wanted a man to date,
but no where do you express that in your profile nor do you let known your traditional views on men and women and wanting to be treated like a lady and defining what you mean by that -- the man pays, offers his seat etc. I think it would be good if you stated this in your profile and also stated your values.

I find this a little amusing because I had an opposite thing going on. I am a gay male and met from the Internet for the first time another gay male as a friend not a date. But he acted like a gentleman on a date with a lady, held open doors, was very attentive, when I returned from the restroom he had paid for the meal and drinks. He didn't make sexual advances. We hit it off, he brought up places we could visit together in the future since we had very similar interests. He asked me to call him. I called him several times and he hasn't returned my calls or my email. My point? "It's always something" -- Roseanne Roseannadanna.
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