Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 kitten23xox
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 167
why men run away when they see a picPage 5 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
why waste time if you're not interested from the get go?
Everyone's happiness is based on different things and peoples' list of desired qualities are often in different order.
Some are unable to get past physical appearance, it doesn't mean they're bad natured, just that they're priorities are different than yours.
Also, physical attraction is not something that can be controlled...........it just happens. So get over your hurt, you've gotta be stronger and more understanding than that, and I'm sure you'll find your match.
P.s. what kind of guys do you write to?
 NatGoat
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 178
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 9/4/2007 1:44:19 PM
. . Try a different Pic . .
Athletic . .
Playful . .
Smiling . .
. . etc . .
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 179
view profile
History
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 9/9/2007 6:49:22 AM
Singlemom,

Believe it or not, "very attractive" women have the SAME complaint!!! Some men try to talk to me, and all they have to talk about is how I look. Sorry, but after about the 4th time being told you're beautiful, you start to yawn and wonder if they have an IQ over 50. They don't care about personality, intellect, character or anything else except their own ego boost if they showed up at a party with you on their arm. Also, don't think that pretty women have men beating down their doors for a date...it's NOT true. They may drool over a photo, but they're too insecure to risk asking you out. I believe that people tend to contact only those that they see as "attainable", so it's less a statement about you and more one about themselves.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 185
view profile
History
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 9/18/2007 1:13:51 PM
Okay, maybe it hasn't happened to me....so far....but then I've only been on this site for a few weeks. But I have gotten criticism for some other things. I have been told I am too "High Maintenance" and silly things like that. There is someone for everyone. Don't give up hope.
 tophawk
Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 187
view profile
History
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/1/2008 7:30:33 PM
Well let me say this first.... Don't put all people in the same basket.

I will admit that when I see a pic that isn't me, I due tend to not go any further in looking at their profile. But it usually ain't the pic that stops me first. It is usually the moral and personal answers ( drinking, DEFINITELY SMOKING- YUCK!!) and then the reason they post ( don't need a nymph).

But really, if we all looked at ourselves and the people around us- we all have faults that are physical. If we don't, then we are being naive because even if you plaster it, pluck, suck it in, push it up or get it/ them inflated or deflated- its still a fault.

I personally think that if you are not happy and honest with yourself, then you aren't going to find what you are looking here for unless it is someone else that is not happy and lost their self esteem and basically throws their morals out the window.

Sorry for the soap box preaching but I really get ticked when someone says " its my looks that made you leave". No sweetie- it is your values and habits.
 cdn27
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 191
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/2/2008 1:22:02 AM
I can't tell you how many times I've contacted a lady, with a polite kind hello and what not, including a picture when sending a message and they just don't take the time to respond. If your not on par with their standards they click the next button. They don't take the time to get to know you at all before judging you on what they read or see. Like it was mention the beginning of this thread. I know I am a good person, with a good head on my shoulders, know where my heart is and work hard at what I do. Everything (supposedly) is not enough for them. I think the convenience factor plays a roll at how quickly we can move from one to another without having to be hurt or wasting anyones time. It's a tough crowd that is for sure.
 cdn27
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 200
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/2/2008 10:59:14 AM
it's a crazy world out there......
 Sweetjim79
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 203
view profile
History
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/2/2008 5:33:17 PM
Well i notice this whole site is full of women running away from me so i wouldnt consider them true contenders or the this site for that matter. people say to me all the time to justed wait and when your not looking the person for your heart come to youso if there looking at a picture and running away 75 out 100 percent they are not really wanting to find anybody in the first place forget them move onand mr. right will find you
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 209
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/3/2008 7:46:23 AM

They figure that if you're cute, you're worth getting to know. If not, it's not worth the bother. It's all about public perception, baby. Your friends are going to burn you harder if you start hanging around with someone ugly, or a little overweight, or even worse... disabled. You think they want to deal with everyone else's reactions?

I can't speak for anyone else, I know. But I wouldn't care to date or be involved with someone who allowed his friends' opinions to run his life.
Cindy O
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 211
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/3/2008 8:40:16 AM
Women do the same thing. There have been instances when I responded to some personal ads. I exchanged emails with some women. Then they sent me their pic. These women were average looking at best, but I wanted to keep talking to them because we had some common interests. But when I sent them my pic I never heard from them again. Personally I would not stop talking to a woman simply because she had a mediocre photo of herself. Sometimes a person simply isn't photogenic. Sometimes you could find out something about a person that them more appealing to you. Even if there was a visual dealbreaker about a woman ( such as obesity ), I would simply say "you're not my physical type" instead of ending contact without any type of notice.
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 215
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/3/2008 9:00:23 AM
"Guys are visual creatures."

uhhh, and SO ARE WOMEN!

although women will more often deny that looks are so important to them, because they have been conditioned by society to SAY they care more about personality, character, etc.

(in other words, to lie..)

they will flock to the good-looking guys and then tell everyone (and maybe even themselves..and believe it?) "it's not because of his looks, but his charm, intelligence, personality, character, etc. "

well men do that too, it's called the "HALO EFFECT" - when you see a physically attractive prson you often ascribe OTHER qualities to them..intelligence, good personality, etc..


the VAS T majority of female POF profiles have on them something like:

" no photo, no response"

even when THEY do NOT have a photo showing of THEMSELVES!
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 221
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/4/2008 7:26:01 AM
"ps-some men are such ***holes its royally pathetic..."

to be more accurate and complete, repeat the quote, substituting "people" for "men".

"ps- some people.. (men AND women) are such ***holes its royally pathetic..."
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 222
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/4/2008 7:45:47 AM
If I could get some men to run by showing them a pic of myself, it'd make life way easier. Maybe I do and I'm not even aware of it, what a shame - I think it'd be fun to watch.

But romance is gonna require some level of attraction, and I don't blame people for either being attracted or not, just as I know I can't help who I am into. There will be a lot of mismatches before one mutual one locks in...if it was easy to find most people wouldn't be here.

Seriously tho, a man who's not attracted to me isn't my type anyway, so to me that's a wash. I don't want a man to not be into me but hang around hoping the inside will make a difference. I want a man who's just as hot for me as I am for him or I'll pass.

*shrug*
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 227
view profile
History
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/4/2008 4:35:45 PM
Trust me - I count my blessings when some of these fellas take a look at my mug shot and run. You bet!!! When I see what they look like, or even better, read their profiles (without barfing), I'm really glad they run away!!!

For me, it's ok if not every fella is attracted to me. After all Mom - it's quality, not quantity that counts.
 clove_angel
Joined: 7/7/2007
Msg: 231
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/5/2008 2:05:51 AM
There is nothing more crushing than: reading a profile and being so touched you feel you have to talk to this person...making first contact with a short, sweet message...never getting a reply...then seeing they viewed your profile without even saying a word. What good is a dating site if someone can't have the courtesy to message back? Not to mention what a smack to your self-esteem. Most of us are a little timid of this site anyway. How can we make a connection if our feelings continue to get hurt over and over?
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 235
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/5/2008 8:48:59 AM
^^

agreed..you basically took the words out of my mouth,; I was about to give a somewhat similar answer..but you beat me to it (and gave better detail/explanation than I probably would have.. )
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 236
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/5/2008 8:54:24 AM

outer beauty fades over time, but inner beauty keeps growing
and like Forest Gump '"That's all I have to say on that matter"

Didn't he say "That's all I'm gonna say about that"?

Nevermind...anywho, beauty may fade - but as long as it was there to begin with, I'm good.

Attraction will draw me to you, and hopefully you'll have something else besides that to keep me interested. Once the looks fade, the other 8 things will be more important, but not if the looks weren't there first. Dig?
 MyFunIsAnArtForm
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 255
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 11/9/2008 9:59:23 AM
In a dating mode (not same night lays) infatuation is what makes most of us (men and women) want to introduce us to the person that we see when were in a dating mode. Everyone has there own rules. Doesn’t make you a bad person! And you may not want to be friends or dating someone who is like that.
 safn1949
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 264
view profile
History
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 12/4/2008 4:00:16 PM
I also look at profiles of people here on the forums but rarely say hi or leave a note.Why? No one ever answers.Thats ok but I don't feel like wasting my time.As for profile photos there are some who will contact me that I just am not vaguely attracted to,but I try to respond and say no thanks.I know what I look like and my photos are terrible in my opinion but they are literally the only photos that exist of me.It really boils down to good manners.
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 272
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 12/5/2008 7:27:40 AM


Msg: 283
view profile
History

why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 12/4/2008 1148 PM
"Some of us do not post a pic because of our professions or for various other reasons. We are not setting ourselves up for anything. "

I teach at a local college, and know that my students check out POF and other dating sites. There is no way on earth that I could include a photo with my profile and retain any credibility in the classroom. So, I just have to hope that someone is attracted by my scintilating wit and sparkling personality. Or at least attracted to my grammar and punctuation.


WHY?? is it a 'crime' now to want to date people? meet new people? or even just post on forums (which is what some people are on POF for..)

or is the 'loser' stigma still attached to online-dating?

if so, then how could your students comment if THEY themselves are on POF??
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 273
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:46:07 AM
As far as the original post, there has to be an initial attraction. Plain and simple. Different people find various things attractive. Unless you chase parked cars, I don't think anyone is that heinous to look at. Also I don't care if someone describes themselves as attractive, I will be the judge of if I personally find you aesthetically pleasing to me.


So, I just have to hope that someone is attracted by my scintilating wit and sparkling personality. Or at least attracted to my grammar and punctuation.


Hey check out the semi colon on that guy ! I wonder what his ampersand looks like.
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 274
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:48:05 AM
^^^


So, I just have to hope that someone is attracted by my scintilating wit and sparkling personality. Or at least attracted to my grammar and punctuation.


Hey check out the semi colon on that guy ! I wonder what his ampersand looks like.


well at least you're not checking out his "COLON" just yet..

that should probably wait until a second date, at least..
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 275
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:53:15 AM
^ I put a space on purpose! What, is not a semi colon part of the dating process? You can't expect me to be as bold as wanting the whole colon on the first date. I use fresh latex gloves. I'm doing it wrong then?
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 276
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 12/5/2008 9:58:50 AM

So, I just have to hope that someone is attracted by my scintilating wit and sparkling personality. Or at least attracted to my grammar and punctuation.


Hey check out the semi colon on that guy ! I wonder what his ampersand looks like.


Well that's my full belly laugh for the day!!

Personally, I'm partial to exclamation points and parentheses, ...but *sigh* guess we're all different. Does give new meaning to going to bed with a good book though...
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 277
why men run away when they see a pic
Posted: 12/5/2008 10:01:47 AM
^^
well some guys would avoid a woman with too many periods..

or question marks..

she can't be too interested in the colon.. I hope! :)

yes One MoreTime, I noticed ;)

are bisexual guys, semi-colon afficionados?
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >