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 MizBexReturns
Joined: 8/19/2009
Msg: 69
Dating a dad of an undiciplined childPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Parenting is at an all time low in the U.S.; parents coddle and spoil their kids, compete with eachother to make sure they keep up with the jones's and they think discipline is wrong.


I couldn't agree more. I am seriously worried about the future of our country due to the lack of good parenting. I am not kidding. Parents are more concerned with being their kid's friend instead of their parent.

Unless you say something to the child (forget about the father) the kid is not going to change. Sometimes it takes a new sherrif in town to lay down the law but at the end of the day, it's not your job to teach this kid manners and respect, you could try and you actually might end up helping the kid, if so good for you. But then you are still left with the Dad and I can tell you in no uncertain terms, once a weak parent always a weak parent and do you really want to deal with THAT?
 lovemesomemen
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 70
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/22/2009 1:08:56 PM
Ugh. Don't do it. Avoid at all costs. If the kid is a little sh!t and the parent is letting them get away with it, there will never be a real future with said person.
 estes501
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 71
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/22/2009 2:18:41 PM
You might want to end it cause the situation wont ever change and you dont want to be around when this kid hits the teenage years cause it will get worse
 13karat
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 72
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/22/2009 5:00:15 PM

You might want to end it cause the situation wont ever change and you dont want to be around when this kid hits the teenage years cause it will get worse

Exactly! It doesn't matter what the age is.... it is all around us. I was at a wedding a few months ago where two teenage boys (ages 18 and 16) were playing Nintendo during the dinner, while the speeches were going on.... because they were "bored." Their parents knew... and said "oh well, what do you do?" A few other parents almost screamed in frustration. Maybe a little too late now I am thinking.
 *~*Royal Majesty*~*
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 73
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/23/2009 5:55:54 AM
It's very sad to see more & more children not being taught the important Life Skills of Responsibility, Consequences for Actions and that if you want something-you earn it!

Children whom are given whatever-whenever they want, often grow into spoiled, self-centered adults. Adults who cannot take care of themselves and whom often blame everyone and everything around them. It's pathetic!

It's one thing to not know how to raise children but quite another when some Parents KNOW what must be done to properly raise thier children but would rather "take the easy way out" and to NOT take the time & effort it often takes to prepare thier child(ren) for Adulthood.

Children will behave as they are taught. They are never to blame for the stupidity & careless actions of Adults. I cannot help but feel sympathy for those children who are being raised so improperly because they are often in for a "rude awakening" as they enter thier adult years.

I've also dated one or two gentlemen with spoiled-rotten, rude, out-of-control children and I also "ran like the wind".

It's their "mess", they need to take responsibility for it and "clean it up"!
 Wiyan
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 74
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:09:01 PM
If I were in this type of situation,This would tell me that this man, lacking confidence and or self esteem probably gets cheated in business, personal relationships, and walked all over by his own family. Which would mean that if I loved someone like that I would be trying to no avail to instill in him personal boundaries and self respect that he doesn't have for himself, which would mean I was enabling him. I would not be able to tolerate a man who couldn't manage his own life better than that, You would be taking on quite a bit to continue without at least discussing your concerns or possibly moving on for good. It may benefit both him and the child to bring this to his attention, though I wouldn't expect him to change anything even if he hears you. He may at some point though, reflect on what you have said to him and take it all in. Also, I would not hesitate to draw clear lines with the child. Children will push and push just looking for what that defining line is, because they need some structure
 crystalspirit
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 75
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:26:44 PM
Get out right away. Nothing will likely change with his parenting skills and you'll have to deal with the little brat the rest of the time you're together. Kids (even adult ones) can really mess up a nice relationship. If they get their way now ~ just wait till they're in their teens and twenties! Run!
 outdoorsgirl2
Joined: 7/25/2009
Msg: 76
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/24/2009 3:58:02 AM
Personally, I feel the child should not be on a "date". When children are introduced, it should be a fun activity for them appropriate for their tastes and likes. None of us, as adults, likes to spend time doing things that are unpleasant. Children meeting their parents' new loves are no different.
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 77
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/24/2009 4:16:52 AM
The man I was seeing for two years had a young son. When I was around, he told his son to always sit in the back (he did this even when I was not there), that when I cooked something, to eat it even if it was ot something his mom would have made (he liked almost everything, so I must have been doing someting right), and to listen to me when he was not around. We may not be together anymore, but his kid still likes me.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 78
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/24/2009 6:12:37 AM
^^^ They're probably close to marriage by now. Anyone who'd put with that for more than five minutes has to be either desperate or a complete push over.

I HOPE she ran for the hills and allowed that train wreck to collide with someone else.
 13karat
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 79
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/24/2009 6:29:58 AM
^^^^^^ I am with you, spoke for.... I have raised 3 daughters, 21-16-13 - they all know where the boundaries are with mom. I have no problems with being their "friend" to a certain extent, but they also know my line when they push it.... "A family is NOT a democracy."

I have ended two relationships because the man was a doormat to his children - and have learned to see the signs of it.
 Will 0311
Joined: 8/21/2009
Msg: 80
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/24/2009 8:13:20 PM
Dont waste your time with that BS.My God,you actually ride in the back seat?!? Move on,he is disrespecting you the whole time.
 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 81
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Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/24/2009 9:18:36 PM
I am so happy that the original OP was a female. I have seen this thread come and go with males starting it, "the thread didn't last long." On top of that, I am hopeful it will keep going as so many need to get their head out of the sand. Although I doubt many of the parents with this problem will read it much less reply. Just look at the history and hence my point in previous reply's to this post... After all is there anyone posting that they are now thinking a different way? Doubtful....
 NightsSky
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 82
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/25/2009 8:08:38 AM
well. You have a few options.

Marry him and whip that little kid's but!

Or forget him.

Might also be something to report to child services, that doesn't sound like healthy parenting to me.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 83
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Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/25/2009 12:56:17 PM
What tdh said. He's your man, but it's his child, not yours. If it bothers you so much, don't date the guy.

My brother went through a similar situation. The woman he was seeing had a 3-year-old son who ran all over her, and it made my brother cringe. 'Twas the main reason they broke up.

But, I realize it's only a movie, but, in Overboard, Goldie Hawn's stern-yet-loving former rich b-tch with amnesia was just what heathen Kurt Russell's encourageable kids needed.
 Tarah0128
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 84
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Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/26/2009 12:14:44 AM

But, I realize it's only a movie, but, in Overboard, Goldie Hawn's stern-yet-loving former rich b-tch with amnesia was just what heathen Kurt Russell's encourageable kids needed.


That's a cute movie

Yeesh, being around people who don't parent their kids is cruel and unusual

No, thank you
 CookieLady66
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 85
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/26/2009 8:54:18 AM
I'd take Kurt Russell if he had 10 unruly brats!!! Yummmm

On topic: I dated a guy a couple of years ago that had THREE undisciplined brats...and they were one of the biggest reasons we broke it off...they stole, broke things and generally refused to listen to my house rules when at my house. EWWW! It was awful! I'll never date a guy with young children ever again because of the hell I went through that time!
 NightsSky
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 86
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:30:06 PM
ack!!

My quasi girlfriend is somewhat of the same boat.

Let's her 24 daughter railroad her over so many times.

With the drugs and all, lying, cheating, stupid bs, etc.
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 87
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:59:52 PM
Your post was refreshing to read, Zeke


I admire parents who aren't lazy and don't let kids parent themselves

I know I made the right decision not to have children ~ I'm sure I would have done everything wrong




 TheDao
Joined: 8/1/2009
Msg: 88
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/26/2009 10:54:57 PM
I'll take kids any day much easier than to handle adults. Kids can change be taught actually be loyal unlike most adults. Some you people have little patience and tolerance for kids. I worked with the public, kids were much more respectful to me than the adults. The adults demanded things kids asked for things.

With lots of love and patience kids will change, if you're not patient enough maybe you shouldn't even have your kids.
 Tarah0128
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 89
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Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/26/2009 11:46:47 PM
It's the adults that are too lazy to teach their kids that I have the problem with

I work with the public and, I agree, adults are the problem, not the kids
 Blakkardaberry
Joined: 2/7/2009
Msg: 90
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Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/27/2009 1:03:29 AM
A well behave child is a joy to the parents and everyone else around them. I have one so I know this is true she is only 1 1/2 now. I'll let you know when the terrible twos start.

I personally have no patience for bad behavior in my own child I could not in good conscious be around someone who could not discipline there child.
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 91
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/31/2009 3:04:50 AM

If you are able to listen, read and love your child, it's highly unlikely that you would have done everything wrong if you had a child.


Thank you, Zeke ~ I would like to think so. I can be hard on myself for the mistakes I've made and still make. Raising children is the hardest job in the world and an awesome responsibility
 Tarah0128
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 92
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Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/31/2009 10:07:37 AM

self-serving propaganda... and I've felt that way ever since having my own kids.


You're just modest, Zeke. Besides, I know Fleur, we work together and she doesn't have both oars in the water

Anyway, I do have only admiration for parents who take the job of parenting seriously and don't abuse the privilege
 Calientecutie
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 93
Dating a dad of an undiciplined child
Posted: 8/31/2009 11:58:17 AM
welcome to reality...he is divorced so he probably gives all he wants
he feels guilty...so his son is spoiled
this is not your child
you could date him...but no child
date him and child...tolerate the silliness
be honest with him and tell him your concerns
or just leave
saying no to achild...and setting rules is the best gift
unfortunately some parents are wimps...no backbone
i have an eighteen year old son
when he was young some man complained about him...i spoiled him...because i bought him two jackets
or they did not like the fact that he ate the same food like me
i showed them the door
my son was very active and sometimes difficult
proud ot say he is descent...in second year engineering
going to church and being disciplined
and showing respect of elders have been help ful
i feel if you talk to your friend he will wake up
and if he does not...you have tried
good luck
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