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 Duckman_2
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 2
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Personally, it sounds like 2 busy bodies condeming someone for their choices and also judging them...

She has 4 kids by the same guy and never married...so, none your business...

What gives you the right to say the boyfriend is a loser, and his legal problems are none of your business...

Apparently, if the kids are well behaved and bright, they are being cared for and taught manners which is something you seem to be lacking in by you and your neighbor by judging this woman and her boyfriend...

Learn to take care of your business and not put your nose in hers...
 Roamingsiris
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 5
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Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 6/23/2007 7:46:23 PM
If I found that perfect girl for me out there, I really wouldnt care what choices she had made before she met me.

Wouldnt most guys tend to agree with me?

The kids would be a turn off, but, if she was the one, I wouldnt even blink about it.
 acgoat
Joined: 8/8/2005
Msg: 6
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 6/23/2007 7:49:57 PM
She may be [ very bright ] as you say, but not very smart. ie-4 kids, same guy, never married.
NOT NO, BUT HELL NO
 Wylie_Coyote
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 8
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Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 6/23/2007 9:29:22 PM
Okay, lets forget about your neighbor and just look at the question.

A woman working a full time job and has 4 kids under 7. Sounds like Dad's not taking the kids e/o weekend..... Vacations are gona be with the kids if she can afford them.

How emotionaly available could she be? And you ask if someone wants to marry her? There goes the retirement plan.

Sounds like slim pickens.
J Mac
 terry44030
Joined: 12/4/2005
Msg: 12
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Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 6/24/2007 12:31:23 AM
I wouldn't have a problem with a woman with 4 kids. But, at 45, I'd have a problem with 4 kids under 7 years of age. I'm at the age where I can deal with part-time kids Like grandkids, but not raising kids full-time.
 YourDarkAngel
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 18
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 6/24/2007 11:14:15 PM
Jbv81, four children are merely "bad decisions?" Please.

And my answer is a resounding NO . . . dating single mothers with young children is pretty much a non-issue at this point in my life.


I really dont understand men,


Then you should be prepared to ask serious questions without such knee-jerk reactions when men give you their honest perspectives.
 im outa here
Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 21
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 6/25/2007 12:48:04 PM
Date....yes
Marry.....no
 nitrochevy
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 24
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 1/1/2008 3:08:52 PM
the fact that she has 4 kids would be bad news, the fact that she's likely stupid would be terrible news.. No, and hell no
4 kids and not married?? I can understand one kid as we learn from our accidents.. but 4??? somethings wrong with this chick and I would not want to find out the hard way!!
 Wish4
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 25
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 1/1/2008 3:57:53 PM
After reading all the posts, what sticks in my mind most, is all those questioning why she never married the dad.

I have a friend (yes, a friend....not me) who has 3 children by the same man. They have never married. The children are a little older then in this story...16, 12 and 7. They have recently split up.

But my point is, she always said she would never marry him because she didn't want to deal with all the legal problems that a divorce brings. Their house is owned in her name only also. The only problem she seems to have had with this, is "her" car was in his name and he sold it out from under her.

I a way I guess this was a wise decision. He's gone and she hasn't had to go through the legal system. He still sees the kids whenever he wants. She doesn't get any child support, but then it never sounded like he contributed much financially anyway.

Not sure why she stayed with him so long, maybe hoping he'd change.
 saltyd0g
Joined: 11/29/2007
Msg: 26
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:00:45 PM
Most women that I date have children, and it's definitely not in any way a deal breaker. I just broke up with a GF with 4 boys, and trust me, these kids were all boy. Fighting, breaking things, eating anything of nutritional value (or not) in the house. I made a 2 gallon pot of chicken soup and it was literally inhaled in 2 hours.

That she still has an active relationship with the father would definitely be a deal breaker.... Seems that she is wise not to marry the guy, but I can only guess at her motivations for continuing the relationship and having so many kids.
 jd28spot
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 27
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 1/1/2008 4:13:23 PM
The fact that she has 4 kids isn't her problem! Her problem, whether it be dating, finding a nice guy, etc. is......she has shown that she can't or won't leave her so-called "loser" boyfriend. (I assume he is the father of her children?)
Always boggled my mind why some women choose to stay with men like this? Only thing I could imagine is either they are severely lacking in confidence and self esteem or they must be masochists? A strong, confident woman would rather be alone than live with a "loser"....kids or no kids!
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 28
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 1/1/2008 5:25:46 PM
I wouldn't mind dating a woman with 1 or 2 kids, but 4 is too many for me. I wouldn't want to potentially help raise 4 kids that aren't mine.
 Sauder
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 33
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 1/1/2008 11:36:28 PM
I am just going to answer the question.

It does not matter that she has 4 kids under 7. IF she is the cream in my oreo, the apple of my eye or the line on my fishing pole, it does not matter one bit.

But here is a deal breaker... in time... does she want 1 to 3 more with me? That is very important to me.

I can only promise that there will be shelter, food, clothing, education and love so help me as long as I can work.
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 34
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 1/2/2008 1:59:17 AM
She is under 30, has four kids and a loser boy friend. How did you come to the conclusion that she's very bright?
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 38
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Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 1/2/2008 11:02:04 AM
Let's see: four kids by the same dysfunctional guy, never got married, yet you say she's very bright. Something doesn't fit, sorry.

But the answer to whether I would date a woman with four kids, yes. But not the woman you're talking about. She clearly isn't the smart person you give her credit for being. Having one kid, hey, surprise pregnancies happen a lot, maybe I'd understand; but FOUR????
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 39
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:10:23 PM

I think she can do better than her current, but my neighbor keeps saying "Who'd want a woman with 4 kids under the age of 7?"


sounds like a sad reason to stay with a guy... i hope there's more to it than that, otherwise it's not being fair to any of them, imo..
 ifigureditout2
Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 46
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Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 1/13/2008 7:47:08 PM
Well I don't know about your friend but, lets be honest. Few people go out saying "hey I'm gunna go find me a woman with a bunch of kids", and 4 is a lot. And if she goes advertising that too quickly then she is going to have a lot of trouble meeting someone because if a guy doesn't really know you then you're just 1+4 not someone special + 4 kids, you know? She'll rarely get dates and that's no good for her self esteem. The best bet for someone in that situation is to just meet people and understand that they may bolt once they find out she has 4 kids. That's ok, just enjoy the dates and make friends. I know a girl with two kids and a boyfriend whom has told her that's to much for him but they still date, they still are head over heals for each other. She told him that she understands and I can tell he's getting over it. But a player would look for the same angle so, tough break
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 48
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:01:48 PM
She's young, she's bright, yet she thinks she can't get someone better than a loser?

Right. she's justifying.

She has 4 kids, and wants a guy w/ plenty of legal problems around them?

Right. Those kids are well-behaved b/c they learned to be that way. If they learned from her, what does she want a bad boy in her life for? Unless....she really seeks out a bad boy in her life. Would explain the biological father, no?

It took me a long time to learn, women don't chose bad boys b/c they can't find something else, OR b/c they are sluts. They WANT the bad boy. In fact, they may want the bad boy b/c they share a lot of values in common....

Dating her wouldn't be an issue...I know from experience, she wouldn't want a nice guy. Why? b/c she'd already HAVE ONE by now. As you said, OP, she's bright, and wanted to have well-behaved people in her life.
 deere rancher
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 49
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:25:51 PM
I have dated and married a women with 3 children and i had full custody of my two
step family's are tough and after 11 years of marriage, we divorced after finding her in the sack with someone else . nearly 7 yrs later i still feel she only married me to raise her children.
would i do the child rearing , pto , baseball , kid thing again ??
hell no , my advise to the guys would be to know what your getting yourself into
or you could end up knowing how I feel.
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 50
Would you date/marry a single mom with 4 kids?
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:29:52 PM
Well, it'll definitely limit her options.
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