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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Never Married/Set in thier Ways?      Home login  
Joined: 9/6/2008
Msg: 51
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I hope single man over 45 can change as I am one and I'm still looking someone.
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 52
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 10/2/2008 7:03:32 PM
If you've never had a long term living together relationship and you've never been married, I think it would be a challenge to learn to live with someone, but it is not impossible by any has to want to, and if there is love and acceptance and the desire, I can't imagine why it wouldn't be possible. I'd be just as willing to take a chance on a never married man as any other, though one who has never had a long term relationship or lived with a woman, that would be a concern.
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 53
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 10/2/2008 11:04:19 PM
So your damned if you do, damned if you don't. Be selective in your partners and never have a long term relationship and your assumed to be unable for form any type of serious bond and unable to live with another person. Be married 5 or 6 times and you're still accused of the same thing. Is it concern or envy that someone could reach our age and be single instead of just being in 1 or more failed marriages. People are always adaptable to change, if they are allowed to be.
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 54
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 4/28/2012 11:24:22 AM
I am over 45 and never married,also no kids.I am very adaptable to change.I have no baggage.
Joined: 4/15/2007
Msg: 55
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Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 4/28/2012 11:46:43 AM
In my experience, the most important thing a man can offer a woman is a template for change. Isn't that a little sad?
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 56
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 4/28/2012 12:02:13 PM
I don't think it has to do with never being married anymore than being married several times ! Even room mates n college or just shared housing have to adjust and some people just can't ,ok won't it is my way or no way ,that is why there are so many people on here lol! Because all are set n their ways !And relationships take work .And I am one that definitely does not want to change someone but we do have to make certain little sacrifices for it to work.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 57
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Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 4/28/2012 12:58:07 PM
how about those who've been unmarried for a long time? I suspect the same logic would apply!

I would love to meet someone who has no interest in changing me ... no interest in being changed ... is happy with his life ... wants to share portions of his life with me as I share portions of my life with him ... so we could be individuals but together when we felt like being together ... to do things together we both agree we want to do ... no pressures ... just sharing ...

seems like that would be easy to achieve ...

where's that funny little falling down laughing icon when you need him ?? !!

edit: there's another thread in here (over 45 dating) about living together ... yeah ... about that ... I don't want to live together either ... I'm very "set in my ways" about not living together!
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 58
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 4/28/2012 1:09:43 PM
Whenever I see or hear someone use the phrase "set in their ways", I always get the impression that they mean it in a negative manner, as though the other person's "ways" are going to be all bad and they won't be able to clean up their act, so to speak, and life with them will be miserable.
What if "their ways" are good "ways'? What if they are neat, clean, and organized?
What if "their ways" are actually putting the top back on the toothpaste and putting the toilet seat back down?
What if "their ways" are actually putting the dirty laundry in the hamper and washing the dishes after a meal?

Just because someone has lived on their own for a long time doesn't mean they will automatically be a lazy slob or, conversely, anal retentive about every little thing because they have no one else around to tell them what to do.
Joined: 1/22/2011
Msg: 59
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 4/28/2012 4:08:56 PM
i fit that critera,been asked get married qute few times,for various reasons they werent the right im not gay/odd,always say im domesticated but never tamed lol.i go my own way,resist urge to become set in my ways/can be diffcult,but depends if your guy got young outlook or not.turning it around you having been married bring good and bad preconcived ideas to the mix?.
Joined: 4/10/2012
Msg: 60
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 4/28/2012 6:32:51 PM
If a man never marries by the time he is 50, it unlikely that he
can function in a marriage because he has NO experience and you
cann' t teach a Old man new things. lol
Of course, there are always exceptions, who may be able to adjust.
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 61
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 4/28/2012 8:45:20 PM
I never been married and I am not set in my ways.

I have no issues with meeting someone half way at all, as long as they meet me 1/2 as well.
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 62
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 4/29/2012 6:33:17 AM
Every time we think we have an understanding, a "rule" about human behavior ... the exception crops up:

A very good friend of mine had his FIRST relationship in his mid-50's. He married the lady, and it's been long enough to have PUT the "honeymoon period" behind them ... the marriage is still going well for them.
He grew up in an abusive situation, and it took him some decades to work these issues out in his own head. And he did ... there's not a lot of people out there who can, but he showed great insight, wisdom, and strength. I watched him, for almost 30 years, as he pulled his head "together". Then, one day, he was ready to make a relationship work. And he has done so.
You just never can tell.
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 63
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 4/29/2012 6:37:01 AM
There is a book based on studies, not conjecture, "Why Men Marry The Women They Do" it's filled w/ stats...If I wanted to remarry, I'd go w/ the odds...

If they r not married by a certain age, chances are very, very high that they will never....unless they've lived w/ someone for a long time...there are plenty of folks who "date" but r not really "intimate relationship" material. Why waste ur time, unless u just want a "date"???
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 64
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 4/29/2012 1:53:05 PM
If they are not married or have never had an LTR of 10 years or more by age 45, chances are very good that they lack the social skills needed to forge those kinds of relationships. There are exceptions but they are rare, not the norm. You will have more success with someone who has a similar view of marriage and LTR's.
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 65
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 4/29/2012 3:43:46 PM

My passions include working with agressive breed rescue dogs that can be behaviourally challenged, or have disgusting health problems that need a lot of nursing. This is not something I want to do - it is something I have to do like breathing. I wouldn't be fair of me to ask someone who didn't have this same passion to have to be exposed to me doing it.

I rescue Siberian Huskies, Malamutes and an occasional wolf hybrid. They don't always have good manners when I get them, they look scary to some people and they shed. A lot. If a potential partner is afraid of dogs or getting dog hair on her clothes, it isn't going to work.

Maybe we need a special site for all of us dog rescue types.
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 66
Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 4/29/2012 4:40:05 PM
My brother married for the first time at age 45, adopted her sons from a previous marriage, and he and his wife had a daughter who is now 9. He had not had a live together type relationship before he married. He seems to be an awesome dad and seems happier married than single.
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 67
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Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 5/1/2012 4:51:21 PM
in short, no because i'm the same way i'm not going to change and won't let anyone close to me that is going to try to change me. to be quite fair, some can be changed and some can't. while others, if you sit down with them and discuss some of the things that you want. they may go fof it. you never know untill you try. don't let it stop you from getting what you want. i have seen marrages work with a little conflict it's all about finding the right person.
Joined: 11/22/2011
Msg: 68
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Never Married/Set in thier Ways?
Posted: 5/1/2012 5:29:10 PM
If someone is truly compatible with another, change is unnecessary.

This is one of the reasons there are so many divorced people, especially in my age group. They tried to marry someone who was not and tried to change them to suit their needs.

Having never been married is certainly not for a lack of trying and I certainly think I've long since reached the point I am worthy of a loving marriage.

I'll cop to one thing that , at my age, seriously limits my option; I want marriage and a family of my own, but, if at all possible, I do not want to be with someone who already has children. My searches, alone, have barely turned up women 35 or over that even say 'yes' to wanting children. Some repeat profiles have said 'yes' to children and 'no' to having any, yet, upon a subsequent return, they, now, admit, they already have children.

It's funny that not wanting to be married to users, abusers and losers is classified as being 'set in one's ways.' Certainly, though, I'll be plenty firm in believing even though I've never married, there's not a darn thing wrong with me.
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