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Joined: 5/30/2010
Msg: 112
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myselfPage 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Okay... someone said
I should stay the hell of this thread
In fact, I've promised to
more times than I can count...
I suppose I'm a liar

I cannot answer questions
that I have no background on
memories and fantasies
aren't worth building from
they aren't true
who are you?

I'd accept just about anything
you had to throw at me...
as long as you play nice
I wouldn't think twice
to take on whatever burden you shoulder
I sat up late
discussing my fate
with a good friend
he read the poem...
and we analyzed the situation

Decided that if it were meant to be
then someday you'll be with me
and nothing will stop it
so enough of this stupid shit
I'm just gonna stay Enslaved to my System
of whatever it is I devise
to keep me focused and full of lies
but every night
I will see your eyes
remember that.
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 113
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 7/26/2010 5:02:45 AM
r ... Thanks for dropping by and sharing your kind words. I suppose lately I've had the dilemma of missing someone that was special to me that I can never talk to again. A death truly does hurt when the ties were deep.

revos ... Not really quite sure what to say as I never know when or if you are having fun or being serious or talking to me. If you are talking to me it probably would be easier for me if you let me know that you are talking to me as otherwise I am inclined to believe that you are just having fun by posting. If there is something that you would like to particularly say to me, please feel free to respectfully say it.

I've been awake for a while
Sat on the door step and watched the sunrise
Not thinking about much at all
Except that this is a brand new day
Joined: 5/30/2010
Msg: 114
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 7/26/2010 7:38:54 AM
I sent you a letter...
but it's not in my sent box
maybe it's best it didn't go...

Perhaps it will show up in a little while
I think there have been problems.
do me a favor
should you get it
write back
tell me what i lack
sodium ions might not be present
I might be lacking a devilish consent
to do
what I want
to you...
like the brunt
end of a walking stick
smoothed over from years of use
the homeless man who dutifully carves on it everyday
making a masterpiece
for those who wish to see
the beauty found
within' poverty

And my blackened feet
after walking across the floor
the coal stove pumps out
enough soot to make me
appreciative of electric heat. :)
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 115
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 7/26/2010 11:48:28 AM
It's cool that you wanna muse and play
I like to joke and laugh everyday
And to find me a smile I find a way
But a laugh is better I do say

It's all in good fun and no pain is felt
And on hearts there are no welts
I even make grumpy people smile
And I enjoy it when the stone walls melt

In this life I've seen so much
A lot of bad but too some good
And I know that I may never be
Completely understood

Let's laugh and kid and joke around
Where seriousness is never found
I really don't like conformity
Or by rules to be bound

Some are free spirits never meaning to harm
Like me not too serious about life
And I'd rather laugh and joke and play around
Then to use words that cut like a knife
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 116
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 7/26/2010 5:20:20 PM
"For My Woman"

As the pain grew to the point that my tears fell down
It was your hand that wiped them dry
When I had a reason to not believe
You took the time to show you cared
When the betrayal of others broke my spirit
You were there to lift me up
And when my world came crashing down
You helped pick up the pieces
And when you kissed me and said that you loved me
In my heart I knew you meant it
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 117
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 7/26/2010 5:58:09 PM
"For my Woman"

Know that you are on my mind
As soon you will be in my arms
Time passing slowly as I impatiently wait
The taste of your love pleasures my senses
Hold me tight and we'll escape the universe
Drift among galaxies yet known
Just embrace me and we'll dance together
On the front porch as the nighttime passes
We'll listen to the morning birds sing
And say goodbye as the sun starts to rise
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 119
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 7/27/2010 5:19:41 AM
"For Ashley Marie"

These tears I cry are from hurting you
Please know I really do care
But I can not fight what I feel inside
Sugar those feelings just aren't there

I didn't mean to make you cry
I wish there was some other way
But right now my heart is broken too
But sweetie the truth I must say

Don't feel bad for the moment we shared
Things didn't go very far
And it was special in it's on way
As we danced underneath the stars

But darling after the moment died down
And I saw what was in my heart
There's just too much pain right now
My heart's in pieces and parts

And I don't know how long it will last
She was the love of my life
And now she's gone and I'm left alone
And the missing her cuts like a knife

The wounds are fresh and really so deep
Some days are hard to get through
But I would never use another to ease the pain
The love in my heart is too true

All I need is a hug and some understanding
And I don't want you gone as a friend
I just need for this damn pain to go away
And for my sobbing heart to mend
Joined: 5/30/2010
Msg: 120
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 7/28/2010 4:55:39 AM
Like a child afraid to eat Brussel sprouts
for the first time...
avoiding the obvious for years on end
then finally one day
that with a little butter on top
they taste pretty ****ing good
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 121
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 7/29/2010 5:23:14 PM
I tried so hard to find a smile
To perhaps lighten this load that weighs on my heart
So I opened the door to listen to the crickets
But they were singing the blues
The sky was gray and the sun hidden
And all that I could see was in black and white

I walked along the path on the yellow grass
Through branches and briers and thorny brush
The birds were singing so off key
That it brought pain unto my ears

I walked along the trestle and stared off the edge
Saw two drunks sharing a bottle of wine
Listened to river as the current flowed by
And looked upon the water and didn't see my reflection

And then realized just how lost I truly am
Joined: 5/30/2010
Msg: 122
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 7/29/2010 6:22:10 PM
My babe is resting softly
in the comfort of my car
My mind is strangely vigilant
anticipating the final bar
in the morning
en la manana
sounds prettier in Spanish

Must I guide you to a sparkle
in the sidewalk
be not afraid to look down
there you will see the beauty
in the slightest shimmer
of yesterday's bottle
against a hundred battle scars

Allow the prismatic experience
to dowse your mind with light
If the birds are out of tune
something isn't right...

perhaps a night at the burlesque?
no, maybe just some rest
Even with my nerves
focused squarely on
absolutely nothing...
it sorrows me to find
a tear in your eye
dry them and smile
or take a shot of tequila ;)
or six...
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 123
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 7/30/2010 6:17:29 AM
Sitting upon the green park bench
Looking at the darkened sky
Feeling the innate desire for it to rain
Reflecting upon the path that I have walked
I discovered my greatest strength and weakness
It is simply my heart
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 124
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 7/31/2010 9:56:54 PM
Trying hard to run away
Into hearts of others
Trying desperately not to feel
To avoid the truth and know not the pain

Only facing the truth undaunted
Repercussions no longer placed aside
Walking bravely into the firing range
And accepting what will be

Voice of a man thunderous resound
Amplified echoes to listening ears
Resolve to transformation of total truth
Notwithstanding of cost the due to be paid

As it is from fear of love and pain from which I fled
Tired feet in need of rest
Heart of hurt not wanting to feel anymore
Honestly it is the pain of losing you from which I did run
Joined: 5/30/2010
Msg: 125
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 8/1/2010 10:07:39 AM
The strings are rusted
bridge is broken
stop for awhile
let the bow rest...

Life is like a violin
strong wood
so fragile
precariously placed strings
tighten em too much
the whole thing collapses

Fortunately, I know how to play...
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 126
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 8/2/2010 8:24:23 PM
I believe it's time to pull over the car
And leave it beside the road
The gas is gone
And I'm walking home
Never to return again
For all I care pave these roads
Rid them of dirt and rock
Destroy the crops and plow not the fields
And let the weeds grow wild
For I'll not see them anyhow
Polluted are these tainted memories
I don't want to inhale the taste
Show to me a different place
One rid of images of the past
Teach my heart how not to feel
And put blinders upon my eyes
So that I may live again
Joined: 5/30/2010
Msg: 127
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 8/3/2010 1:32:18 PM
You can travel to places
where no other man has stood
I have seen new earth reborn
slip off, and become pollinated again
with spores of passion

I am here in my element
it's humid, sticky, small buds waiting for a good frost
and the blue lines run together

In the night when no one else is around
I am tenderly wishing for the sound
of my name
on your lips
against my nape
as the sweat pours down from climbing to that place
where no other man has stood
new earth
I'd take you there if I could.
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 128
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 8/3/2010 1:48:18 PM
hugs J.D. I find your words somewhat strange but I do understand my friend!

How so we wish to change our lives
Descend into another realm of life
Yet when it is allover and we find
another place , another time
Still your memories and places call
Avoidance of these places crawl
like sheeting , pounding waves of rain
A Storm that calls us home ...again!
Desire is something of the heart,
yet we must remember where we started
Those that made us who we are.
The heart of them , still shine afar!
Up in the graceful darkend nite
the Sky that gives us sweet sunlight!
With every morning when we wake
Praise God for them for heavens sake!
And if you ever think it was for not
Remember everything you've got!

xo my friend, my wish for you! :)
Joined: 5/30/2010
Msg: 129
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 8/3/2010 2:43:33 PM
I want to lick butter pecan ice cream
off of your lips
I want to feel that power
grinding between my hips

I seek a moment of clarity
in this foggy and dreary way
come to me my lover
let's end this fight today ;)
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 130
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 8/10/2010 4:02:33 AM
hummingbird ... Thanks for dropping by and for your kindness, my friend.

She was a very loyal person
That, I can say
But only to herself
Indulging her every whim regardless of cost
So many deaths she caused to others
So that she may live as she wished
Lying, cheating and stealing without conscious
No regret
No remorse regardless of the one that she hurt
None of it mattered at all to her
Good people thrown to the side of the road after her use for them dwindled
Her child confused and misguided
Condescending and arrogant
Rejected by peers
As only anger and hatred spews forth by actions and words
And like the mom
The child knows only how to kill and destroy
As they both dance to the rhythm of the living dead
Joined: 8/7/2010
Msg: 131
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 8/11/2010 5:07:26 AM
My kid's gonna be kissing big girls
in 10 years...
that sucks
but I know
he will show
I'll teach him that much
so, I guess it really doesn't suck...
but damn... he's growing up :(
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 132
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 8/20/2010 9:36:50 AM
Like wow, man
I didn't even know I was a poet
Imagine that
Every once in a while I think that perhaps
Just maybe in some strange sort of distorted view
That just maybe I might be one
But thankfully realism sets in and I am definitely reassured
I am not a poet
And besides I never had ambition to be merely a label
Except for being a good dad
And I would like for those that take the time to know me
To actually be able to say about me
You know what, he's a pretty good dude
But being a poet would never be me
As all I will ever be is just some dude that tries to write poems
That perhaps are readable and understandable
And just so you know my life continues whether you like my poetry or not
And I would never say that I am a poet either
So we both agree on something

PS Has anyone else ever had a cold and when they breathed it sounded like barnyard animals making noises ....
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 133
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 8/20/2010 7:00:16 PM
Why don't you just leave me alone
Why can't you just accept that I do not want to get to know you better
You aren't someone that I would want a future with
And I have been more than patient
And actually much nicer than most people would be
I mean, come on now, creating two accounts
Just so you can Email me after I blocked you on your first account
You are wrong, I will forget you as there were never anything emotional there
I am not interested in a relationship with you
I am not interested in sex with you
All that I want is for you to let me be
Find yourself one of all the other guys that you can have and forget about me
And something that will never be
I will never indulge your fantasies as I don't want to be a part of them
Find yourself someone else to be infatuated with
I don't want to be in your dreams
Because you are not even in my thoughts except when you stalk me and will not let me be
I respectfully told you that I wasn't interested in you and blocked you
To stop you from Emailing me again
You deleted your account and then rejoined to send me an Email saying that it was crappy
That I blocked you after telling you that I wasn't interested
You did that so that you could get the last word
What you said didn't matter whatsoever to me
And if it meant that you would leave me alone
Then that would have been good
So I read and blocked you again
Then you create a second account to Email me again
To tell me that I will miss you
Honestly I will never miss you
As I am not interested in you at all
I just want you to leave me alone
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 134
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 8/22/2010 10:27:05 AM
The fury of the storm is vicious
The valley is filled with water and the dam near collapse
The ending of life as is known approaching fast
Changes that will be difficult at first
But will be beneficial in the end
One week away from chaos and uncertainty
But like a blade of straw in the gusting wind
I will accept without resistance and move onward with what life has in store
And after the dam ruptures
The lightning stops striking and the thunder stops booming
After the rain stops and the sun finally dries the muck
Still I will stand tall with a determination and a strong will that shall never be doubted
And continue on this path that I travel with more wisdom and knowledge
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 135
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 8/27/2010 7:56:13 AM
I guess I knew my poor car wouldn't take it
Doing my running and then that of another
I started to tell her that she might need to find other arrangements
But I figured that it was only for a couple of weeks
And I would try to help her out since she was returning back to college
So on and on I piled up the miles
And my poor little car broke down
In the parking lot of Dollar Tree
With me, my son, and my sister in the car
I tried to fix it
But it was beyond my capabilities
And I know if you know nothing about carburetors or fuel injection
You leave it alone
And find someone that knows about that stuff
So as we were waiting in the parking lot
For good ol' mom and dad to take everyone to their houses
A woman that works at the store drives over and asks if I need any help
Whether I needed to use her cell phone to call anyone
Of course I thanked her
And she said the sweetest thing
You are the nicest person that comes to the store
And always nice and friendly to me
And I couldn't leave without asking if you needed help
That was truly such a kind and humbling thing that she said
And it kinda made a bad situation better
So my folks come to get us
And I tell them that I'm gonna try to drive my car home
That's just part of my never quit personality
So I manage to get it going and take off driving to my house
Of course speeding a little to try to get as close to home as I can
Before it breaks down again
And no such luck
About three-fourths of a mile from my house it died
But still I'm cranking it up
Trying to get home
And it keeps cutting off as soon as I put it in gear
And finally I realize that it isn't going to go
And that my folks probably want to get to their house
And as I'm trying to get it out of the road
Some of my friends from where I live saw my car
And turned around to see if I needed a ride to my house
They didn't know my mom and dad were behind me
But it was kinda cool that they stopped
No really it was very cool that they stopped to ask
And I found such a big laugh that I kept inside
I have been knowing their mom for about twelve years
And the girls from time they were little kids
It's hard to believe one of them has her license already
But the funny part is that when they stopped
The two sisters said do you need a ride home uncle
I'm not really their uncle but we have known each other so long that we're like family
I smiled and said that my mom and dad was behind me
And of course said thanks for stopping and asking
But what was so funny
Is that all of my nieces and nephews just call me uncle
Not a second part like someone's name added to it
But just plain and simple uncle
Not uncle and my given name
But just uncle
And of course I won't mention my son's name
This being a public forum and stuff
But my son's friends when they meet me and ask what my name is
I tell them that they can just call me
The name of my son's dad
I was kinda bummed that my car was broke
Especially at all that's going on in my life right now
But it was refreshing to know that people offered to help me
And that people appreciate those that are nice to them
But I still kinda think it's cool just to be called uncle
And the name of my son's dad
 _Just Different
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 136
Country roads and a full tank of gas..... finding myself
Posted: 9/8/2010 8:03:12 PM
Thanks Hammie for your kindness. Love to all of you from my son and my self. I have been fortunate to have had some good quality people be in my life lately. Both friends and strangers. I hope all is going well for you and yours.

The best advice I ever got
Was to not care so much
To separate emotions from life and friendship
And only feel them in moderation when needed
And truth be known
Life is much easier that way
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