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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a p      Home login  
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 ANGELPS
Joined: 8/11/2005
Msg: 226
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture .... Page 10 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
First of all...why not post a photo? SOmething to hide? Unless you work for the CIA or whatnot there is no reason not to post your RECENT photo! And there HAS to be physical attraction no matter what we all say...yes it is what is on the inside that matters too but you would not date someone you thought was ugly....if you say you would..I don't believe you and most won't! If you don't post a phot most of us feel it is because you have something to hide or you think you are ugly.....and if you are or not doesn't matter...you should love yourself enough to want to share a photo atleast...to someone who may be interested in you....wow...or thoes who don't want to post a RECENT PHOTO , GO TO ANOTHER DATING SITE ..... because looks matter....and trusting someone matters...no trust..no nothing....
 brilliant is lonely
Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 227
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:46:39 AM
i dont post a picture here because i dont want my friends to know im dating off a site. i think too many of my single male friends would be disappointed if not offended that im not dating them. it had nothing to do with my looks. im confident im very attractive, its more of a privacy issue.
 ex-navy
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 228
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:59:31 AM
Hey, it's because as many people deny it, we are all on here to try and find somebody to get to meet in real life ultimately. The only reason that people want pics is because they want to make shure they know what they're getting into.
 Put Name Here
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 229
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 1:10:46 AM
I find the whole not posting a picture thing a mish mash of silly levels of denial and insecurities.

Even among celebrities, who live for recognition but want privacy, I see no reason for some one in that area not to post a picture of themselves anyway if they are doing something where posting a picture is part of the experience.

I rarely have anything to do with people that don't post pictures, who smoke, and who are married but for some reason looking for dates. I put them all in about the same boat as they obviously have issues they are not facing. Kind of a pun there.

There are some people on this site, and others, that do not have IM turned off but get really pissy if someone IMs them. Doesn't make any sense. Same thing about the not posting pictures of themselves. If they think they are hideous or just not good looking all they have to do is start viewing the ones that do post pictures and they will find out that they are average or maybe even above.

The ones that state they don't post their picture because they don't want others they know to know they are looking online for someone are people better left alone. They can't face reality and succumb to peer group puppy pressures which means they won't be fun to be around as they have no backbone or individuality. Who wants to be with someone that can't even handle something as simple as this in their lives? These type of people usually say that there has to be a made up story as to how they met you so their friends and family will not know. Living a life of lies, even that petty, is not a good sign about their abilities to be emotionally stable. I have a friend that met his wife whom he met online but didn't get to see until he was going to the place to meet her. They both got the wrong directions and he met her but by accident and saw her walking towards him and he fell in love with her on sight. She did that with him too. They both thought it would have been weird to stop and say hello to each other as they were committed to meeting someone else. Not knowing it was each other. They finally did meet up at the right place and had a great moment to start off their relationship. There was no way to post pictures through the system they met with, no privacy/insecurity reasons. They were together for a couple of years and now have been married close to three years. I wish I was so lucky.

When I get emails from ladies that don't have a picture posted I will ask them about that. Sometimes it really is that they don't have access to a digital camera. Once they find out that they can take any picture to a copy place and have it scanned and put into a file format they post one or two pictures. The ones that don't and won't post are most likely not being very open to themselves and others. Too many times it's married ladies looking for something on the side and they don't want their pictures shown as they will be found out, or they are heavy or think they are heavy.

I think they should make it mandatory that at least one current picture is posted or no profile. It really is silly not to be able to show yourself. What do you people that don't post your pictures do when you are out in public and someone actually looks at you or says hi?

Run screaming?
 passionandsong
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 230
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 2:15:43 AM
to put name here.we have this crazy idea that getting to know someone before you see them = actualy wanting to know them for their thoughts and interests.i know its crazy,but this forum allows you to be able to do that.there are people that want this to be the case.they actually want you to like them for there interests and thoughts first...no really its true...crazy huh?
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 231
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:16:32 AM
you have to put your pic up, it's important for us to see who we are talking to! Plus, you can show different sides to your personality, out and about, having fun, it adds to the profile. I mean, if you are selling yourself to a potential new friend or date, don't you want the best resume out there?
 mahogany_rush
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 232
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 11:15:36 AM
God I love these forums , too funny I read some of the posts and everyones a expert on this and that God bless you people

Ive been on both sides of the fence, when I first joined I had my pictures up, most of them I was in a suit, hockey ones, ones with my goddaughter, then I was told not to post pics of kids too many perverts, then grilled are those pics real because some post fake and older pics.

Then I rejoined and decided not to post pics, and some of you think its because im attached/married, hideous, insecure, hiding from Law enforcement blah blah blah.

Too funny folks, I find and this is from personal experience that Ive received more quality emails from people without posting pics then when I had pics,yes the my email box isnt as full as it was before but I find the people ive corresponded this time were quality individuals

If some of you think that by posting a pic that its going to guarantee you will find your angel, I suggest that market this skill, Ive found very few people ( from my experience) are upfront
Ive met people who misrepresented them selves big time, and some that ive met, there pics doesn't do them justice.
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 233
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 11:26:23 AM
I just want to say that thinking personality is the only thing that matters is a different side to the same coin. Its just as bad as thinking looks are all that matters. Its a combination. You cant just say one extreme is better than the other. Its ridiculous.
 VenicesKurt
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 234
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 11:31:08 AM
This conversation is over, everything has been said.

The Picture is part of the ENTIRE package, yes personality counts, yes it is about the inner person, however, in my experience. Most (most) people who don't post a picture have something to hide. The thing most (most) people have to hide is the fact that they have posted AVERAGE in their profile when they are really BBW, then whine when you call them to it. "But it's about what's inside"

Not shallow, realistic. If I have my head and body shots up for the world to see, that shows that I am sincere in what I say in my profile, I'm not hiding anything, I expect the same from any potential dates.



Kurt
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 235
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:28:15 PM
I think pics are overrated. Yes it is good to have an idea of what a person looks like, but you can't always tell how attractive a person is from a few pics. Some people aren't photogenic. Pics are a still 2-D shot of someone. Humans are 3-D. Also, some people can use old, fake or deceptive pics. Unless a woman is completely gross or the complete opposite of my ideal physical type, I wouldn't eliminate a woman based on a picture. I would need to see her in person to determine how attractive she is.
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 236
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:28:41 PM
K this has been bugging me forever. WHAT THE HELL IS BBW?
 VenicesKurt
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 237
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 1:10:07 PM
It's a euphemism for overweight women who think they are god's gift to men...

it stands for


BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN


It is to make them feel better about being overweight instead of doing something about it.





That'll get me lots of hate mail from BBWs
 Put Name Here
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 238
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/6/2008 12:53:54 PM
^^^^^^ Oh, you got that BBW right!

I have been involved with ladies that are larger but didn't call themselves BBWs. As soon as I hear that I know they are way over weight and not healthy at all and that's a whole basket of issues I don't need to worry about. True BBWs do not have tummies that stick out twice as much as any other part of their bodies. They usually have slim tummies but are just big boned, tall and or just big but not fat which is a difference for sure. Health is a major issue with me and if the lady I am with can't figure out how to live in a healthy manner she can go else where.

For those PC dorks, I have been up to 380 pounds and am now down to 260 or below. Motivation and dedication on dieting and exercising. It is hard for me to exercise as I have arthritis in my legs and wear a leg brace. I know what it is like to be over weight. I was 200 pounds from the 8th grade till I was in my mid 40s, dang legs. Still, I post my pictures! In my current pictures I am not wearing my leg brace, I don't always wear it around the house but definitely when I go outside and walk for more than a block or will be out there a long time. Come on ladies that call yourself BBWs, you are not beautiful because you are over weight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there are a FEW men that like over weight women as a fetish thing but you got to wonder about them also. Possibly the same issues?



Ha-ha-ha-ha, passionandsong, you are so PC and out of touch due to that, cool perspective but limited on the idea that not posting pictures is due to actually wanting people to get to know them from their thoughts and interests.

I guess I'm blessed with being able to see the Whole Picture instead of wearing blinders emotionally and physically.

It's a cop out for people to say that they have to hide in the shadows so their Thoughts and Interests shine more than their too good looking faces and or bodies. Ha-ha-ha-ha, that cracks me up.

Your theory has many, many, many holes in it but people do use it to hold up their levels of denial. Picture being out in public, oh my, and meeting someone or a group of people. You don't want them to judge you by your looks alone so you hide, wear some sort of full body armor, maybe just a reefer cardboard box, and you talk with them spewing your thoughts and interests Only. Do you think anyone will stay there with you? I think they would walk away quickly, ignore you, or laugh and point and maybe take a picture or video and post it on UTube, they could even call the police to take you away.

I think people getting to know each other through their thoughts, interests, how they handle themselves in public and private, how they look, and more as all of these aspects have something to do with chemistry, is a good thing. Limiting it with no visual is just stupid as in you know better but you still do.

I do not consider myself gorgeous or a hunk but I do like to say that I'm a good looking ugly! :)

I don't mind posting my picture as I want people to be able to judge me by my looks alone, it thins the crowd of morons that are only into the looks. I don't have to deal with them. Having someone interested in you for just your thoughts and interests lacks many personal interaction levels.

Ha-ha-ha-ha, crazy only in that it made you think some. I hope you get to think some more! That goes out to all that think in limited terms and can't handle the Whole Picture deal of life.

Everyone, please post your pictures as it really will get you more responses and even for your thoughts and interests as most people do not even check out profiles with no pictures. Think about that while mumbling inside that big cardboard box you have built around you.
 GreatCatch4u08
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 239
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/6/2008 1:06:34 PM
I believe it is true that looks will only get you so far and in your golden years, it will be what's inside that is going to matter and how you relate to each other. However, I do believe also that if you are going to post a profile on a dating website, you should post a picture as well. I have been scammed by many people on different sites who didn't post pics and lied about who they were and what they looked like. You have to understand that I am probably not the only person who can relate to this experience and therefore people become very hesitant about replying to profiles without pictures.
If you're not going to put a picture up, then are you really sincere about the profile you've posted? And if you're not trying to hide anything, then why not post a picture?
That's just my opinion but I can guarantee I am not alone in thinking in this way.
 CatchinNJ
Joined: 11/23/2007
Msg: 240
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/6/2008 3:36:26 PM
This thread is just another thinly masked version of the 'love me for who I am, not what I look like' crap. 1) This is a dating site. 2) Physical attraction is part of dating. Only if you are on here NEVER to meet anyone face to face, there is no reason not to put up a pic. Even I show my ugly mug!
 Sepa-Isis
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 241
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:33:59 PM
Well i do not have a pic and i guess i have received less massages on this site then others. But i will be fair and say that the site does pre-warn you and states that you will receive more massages if you post a pic.

I have my reasons for not posting a pic and will not cry about why.

However i will say that i have massaged people with pics and without when i find their profile interesting to me. So as in all thing every action has a reaction. In this case no pic less massages.
 Sepa-Isis
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 242
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:44:10 PM
oh one more thing. I think looks do matter. Maybe not as much as personality in the long run but they do matter none the less.


However when one does not have a pic up it does not automatically with a 100% rate translate into i.e. fat, ugly, old, insecure and hiding something as some ppl seem to think. Posting a pic online is all about a comfort level and how private a person is.
 Sauder
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 243
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 1:28:18 AM
Your funny! No Pic, No Chat.
Freud said it,"relationships begin because of looks and remain due to gooey love stuff inside".
Besides, why do you want to waste everyone's time by chatting for a week, getting attached, only for them to disappear when you show them your mug?? That's mean on both parts.
 Sauder
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 244
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 1:29:33 AM
Yeah... right.javascript:smilie('')
javascript:smilie('')
 ExplosiveSheep
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 245
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:02:04 AM
I figure everyone has an idea of what they look for physically, there are men that actually think women can be big and beautiful, if you've got your picture up at least you can appeal to that audience, you know they won't turn you down at the first date.

I met a woman on this site, lets just say she misrepresented herself a bit. Body type was average, only the face shot from a flattering angle, I was thinking to myself "here we go." because I know full well that anyone that goes to that much trouble to hide a weight problem probably knows they have it, isn't happy with their body and probably isn't working on it.

I ain't impressed with the gut I got on myself, but I make it known, throw up a full body pic or 2 plus I'm hittin the ellipticals and weights and have been for a few months. Point is, full disclosure gets me 1 thing, if I keep the pic recent, the only thing that's gonna mess up a date I actually do get with a woman is gonna be something a bit more complicated than too many strips of bacon with breakfast.
 just_1dude
Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 246
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:40:18 AM
Mr. Rikkistyxx has a great point....
[/So,,, let's say you are in a grocery store dude... From behind the boxes of cereal you hear a ladies voice say to you, "Will you go out with me tonight" ? You think to yourself, " Cool, I'll just got to the other side of this row and check her out" !!!
She quickly say's, "don't come over here, I want to be loved for what's inside my heart,, and if you look at me I'll never know if you love me for who I am inside".
So ya gonna go out with her??? Sight unseen --- Well,,, are ya? --- Any red flags poppin up in your mind yet??? --- They should be!!!]
I went on a meeting date with someone that I chatted with via. e-mail for a couple of weeks and a couple days of phone conversations.. But NO pic, I thought.. OK, I'll give this a chance. She seemed to be a nice woman, nice voice, playfull conversations... But when she came pulling up in her car I though I was meeting Mimi from the Drew Carey show, clown paint and all! OMG! It is very uncomfortable to have to say to someone... "Mame I am sorry, but you look like you have been run over by a bus. And if I knew that you could drink ten times more beer than me.... (which a pic would have clearly said that to me)... I would not be here regreting this meeting!
Also, the word "Average" as a body discript... Has got to be the most ambiguous term ever invented by man or woman!
So... No pic... No meeting... OP.... Grow some gahonies and post'em! Just be yourself!
 walker1960
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 247
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:53:48 AM
When someone does not want to show their picture on the profile page here on POF , they may have several good reasons for that. Hopefully the profile describes them accurately, and their body type description is accurate. If they sound like a person that someone is interested in then maybe some conversations may begin and a friendship may develop. After the conversations begin however, if that person still does not want to show a picture, then it starts looking like they are hiding something and all of a sudden the possibility of ever meeting can start going away.
I mean who would ever imagine that a person would describe themselves as body type = avg, and in reality, that person is 40 lbs overweight.
It is just a matter of honesty at that point. If someone is not being honest in that phase of a new relationship, then that relationship should probably progress no further…talking on the web is one thing, but meeting face to face is another. Not saying that everybody that meets face to face is only looking for sex or anything physical, just saying that meeting face to face denotes a new level of trust that is required now that the 2 people will be in the same room with each other.
Personally I would probably like to look like I did about 17 years ago, but I don’t. I tell myself the truth however and my pictures here on POF are current…if I had a reason to hide them on my public profile page, I would still send them to anybody I started talking to ….presuming of course that they even wanted to talk to me based on my profile…..
 onlyflower
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 248
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:58:30 AM
You can be attractive on the outside,and still be ugly on the inside.I use to meet people without photo's.I wont anymore.Alot of people lie about age, size, hight,color of thier skin,you name it they lie about it.I have met over seven not so honest people,please have a photo posted.
 cocytus
Joined: 11/9/2007
Msg: 249
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 6:03:11 AM

You can be attractive on the outside,and still be ugly on the inside.I use to meet people without photo's.I wont anymore.Alot of people lie about age, size, hight,color of thier skin,you name it they lie about it.I have met over seven not so honest people,please have a photo posted.


"Color of their skin"
Umm..did you READ that before you posted it?
Doesn't make you sound "racially-progressive"
And you misspelled "their"
 onlyflower
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 250
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 6:05:02 AM
The only way your friends will find out. is if they themselves go on this site,so what do you care?If they are doing it why does it matter if you do?
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