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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a p      Home login  
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 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 226
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture .... Page 10 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I just want to say that thinking personality is the only thing that matters is a different side to the same coin. Its just as bad as thinking looks are all that matters. Its a combination. You cant just say one extreme is better than the other. Its ridiculous.
 VenicesKurt
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 227
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 11:31:08 AM
This conversation is over, everything has been said.

The Picture is part of the ENTIRE package, yes personality counts, yes it is about the inner person, however, in my experience. Most (most) people who don't post a picture have something to hide. The thing most (most) people have to hide is the fact that they have posted AVERAGE in their profile when they are really BBW, then whine when you call them to it. "But it's about what's inside"

Not shallow, realistic. If I have my head and body shots up for the world to see, that shows that I am sincere in what I say in my profile, I'm not hiding anything, I expect the same from any potential dates.



Kurt
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 228
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:28:15 PM
I think pics are overrated. Yes it is good to have an idea of what a person looks like, but you can't always tell how attractive a person is from a few pics. Some people aren't photogenic. Pics are a still 2-D shot of someone. Humans are 3-D. Also, some people can use old, fake or deceptive pics. Unless a woman is completely gross or the complete opposite of my ideal physical type, I wouldn't eliminate a woman based on a picture. I would need to see her in person to determine how attractive she is.
 Ignoble
Joined: 10/11/2007
Msg: 229
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 12:28:41 PM
K this has been bugging me forever. WHAT THE HELL IS BBW?
 VenicesKurt
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 230
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/5/2008 1:10:07 PM
It's a euphemism for overweight women who think they are god's gift to men...

it stands for


BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN


It is to make them feel better about being overweight instead of doing something about it.





That'll get me lots of hate mail from BBWs
 Put Name Here
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 231
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/6/2008 12:53:54 PM
^^^^^^ Oh, you got that BBW right!

I have been involved with ladies that are larger but didn't call themselves BBWs. As soon as I hear that I know they are way over weight and not healthy at all and that's a whole basket of issues I don't need to worry about. True BBWs do not have tummies that stick out twice as much as any other part of their bodies. They usually have slim tummies but are just big boned, tall and or just big but not fat which is a difference for sure. Health is a major issue with me and if the lady I am with can't figure out how to live in a healthy manner she can go else where.

For those PC dorks, I have been up to 380 pounds and am now down to 260 or below. Motivation and dedication on dieting and exercising. It is hard for me to exercise as I have arthritis in my legs and wear a leg brace. I know what it is like to be over weight. I was 200 pounds from the 8th grade till I was in my mid 40s, dang legs. Still, I post my pictures! In my current pictures I am not wearing my leg brace, I don't always wear it around the house but definitely when I go outside and walk for more than a block or will be out there a long time. Come on ladies that call yourself BBWs, you are not beautiful because you are over weight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there are a FEW men that like over weight women as a fetish thing but you got to wonder about them also. Possibly the same issues?



Ha-ha-ha-ha, passionandsong, you are so PC and out of touch due to that, cool perspective but limited on the idea that not posting pictures is due to actually wanting people to get to know them from their thoughts and interests.

I guess I'm blessed with being able to see the Whole Picture instead of wearing blinders emotionally and physically.

It's a cop out for people to say that they have to hide in the shadows so their Thoughts and Interests shine more than their too good looking faces and or bodies. Ha-ha-ha-ha, that cracks me up.

Your theory has many, many, many holes in it but people do use it to hold up their levels of denial. Picture being out in public, oh my, and meeting someone or a group of people. You don't want them to judge you by your looks alone so you hide, wear some sort of full body armor, maybe just a reefer cardboard box, and you talk with them spewing your thoughts and interests Only. Do you think anyone will stay there with you? I think they would walk away quickly, ignore you, or laugh and point and maybe take a picture or video and post it on UTube, they could even call the police to take you away.

I think people getting to know each other through their thoughts, interests, how they handle themselves in public and private, how they look, and more as all of these aspects have something to do with chemistry, is a good thing. Limiting it with no visual is just stupid as in you know better but you still do.

I do not consider myself gorgeous or a hunk but I do like to say that I'm a good looking ugly! :)

I don't mind posting my picture as I want people to be able to judge me by my looks alone, it thins the crowd of morons that are only into the looks. I don't have to deal with them. Having someone interested in you for just your thoughts and interests lacks many personal interaction levels.

Ha-ha-ha-ha, crazy only in that it made you think some. I hope you get to think some more! That goes out to all that think in limited terms and can't handle the Whole Picture deal of life.

Everyone, please post your pictures as it really will get you more responses and even for your thoughts and interests as most people do not even check out profiles with no pictures. Think about that while mumbling inside that big cardboard box you have built around you.
 GreatCatch4u08
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 232
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/6/2008 1:06:34 PM
I believe it is true that looks will only get you so far and in your golden years, it will be what's inside that is going to matter and how you relate to each other. However, I do believe also that if you are going to post a profile on a dating website, you should post a picture as well. I have been scammed by many people on different sites who didn't post pics and lied about who they were and what they looked like. You have to understand that I am probably not the only person who can relate to this experience and therefore people become very hesitant about replying to profiles without pictures.
If you're not going to put a picture up, then are you really sincere about the profile you've posted? And if you're not trying to hide anything, then why not post a picture?
That's just my opinion but I can guarantee I am not alone in thinking in this way.
 CatchinNJ
Joined: 11/23/2007
Msg: 233
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/6/2008 3:36:26 PM
This thread is just another thinly masked version of the 'love me for who I am, not what I look like' crap. 1) This is a dating site. 2) Physical attraction is part of dating. Only if you are on here NEVER to meet anyone face to face, there is no reason not to put up a pic. Even I show my ugly mug!
 Sepa-Isis
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 234
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:33:59 PM
Well i do not have a pic and i guess i have received less massages on this site then others. But i will be fair and say that the site does pre-warn you and states that you will receive more massages if you post a pic.

I have my reasons for not posting a pic and will not cry about why.

However i will say that i have massaged people with pics and without when i find their profile interesting to me. So as in all thing every action has a reaction. In this case no pic less massages.
 Sepa-Isis
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 235
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:44:10 PM
oh one more thing. I think looks do matter. Maybe not as much as personality in the long run but they do matter none the less.


However when one does not have a pic up it does not automatically with a 100% rate translate into i.e. fat, ugly, old, insecure and hiding something as some ppl seem to think. Posting a pic online is all about a comfort level and how private a person is.
 Sauder
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 236
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 1:28:18 AM
Your funny! No Pic, No Chat.
Freud said it,"relationships begin because of looks and remain due to gooey love stuff inside".
Besides, why do you want to waste everyone's time by chatting for a week, getting attached, only for them to disappear when you show them your mug?? That's mean on both parts.
 Sauder
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 237
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 1:29:33 AM
Yeah... right.javascript:smilie('')
javascript:smilie('')
 ExplosiveSheep
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 238
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:02:04 AM
I figure everyone has an idea of what they look for physically, there are men that actually think women can be big and beautiful, if you've got your picture up at least you can appeal to that audience, you know they won't turn you down at the first date.

I met a woman on this site, lets just say she misrepresented herself a bit. Body type was average, only the face shot from a flattering angle, I was thinking to myself "here we go." because I know full well that anyone that goes to that much trouble to hide a weight problem probably knows they have it, isn't happy with their body and probably isn't working on it.

I ain't impressed with the gut I got on myself, but I make it known, throw up a full body pic or 2 plus I'm hittin the ellipticals and weights and have been for a few months. Point is, full disclosure gets me 1 thing, if I keep the pic recent, the only thing that's gonna mess up a date I actually do get with a woman is gonna be something a bit more complicated than too many strips of bacon with breakfast.
 just_1dude
Joined: 11/26/2007
Msg: 239
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:40:18 AM
Mr. Rikkistyxx has a great point....
[/So,,, let's say you are in a grocery store dude... From behind the boxes of cereal you hear a ladies voice say to you, "Will you go out with me tonight" ? You think to yourself, " Cool, I'll just got to the other side of this row and check her out" !!!
She quickly say's, "don't come over here, I want to be loved for what's inside my heart,, and if you look at me I'll never know if you love me for who I am inside".
So ya gonna go out with her??? Sight unseen --- Well,,, are ya? --- Any red flags poppin up in your mind yet??? --- They should be!!!]
I went on a meeting date with someone that I chatted with via. e-mail for a couple of weeks and a couple days of phone conversations.. But NO pic, I thought.. OK, I'll give this a chance. She seemed to be a nice woman, nice voice, playfull conversations... But when she came pulling up in her car I though I was meeting Mimi from the Drew Carey show, clown paint and all! OMG! It is very uncomfortable to have to say to someone... "Mame I am sorry, but you look like you have been run over by a bus. And if I knew that you could drink ten times more beer than me.... (which a pic would have clearly said that to me)... I would not be here regreting this meeting!
Also, the word "Average" as a body discript... Has got to be the most ambiguous term ever invented by man or woman!
So... No pic... No meeting... OP.... Grow some gahonies and post'em! Just be yourself!
 walker1960
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 240
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:53:48 AM
When someone does not want to show their picture on the profile page here on POF , they may have several good reasons for that. Hopefully the profile describes them accurately, and their body type description is accurate. If they sound like a person that someone is interested in then maybe some conversations may begin and a friendship may develop. After the conversations begin however, if that person still does not want to show a picture, then it starts looking like they are hiding something and all of a sudden the possibility of ever meeting can start going away.
I mean who would ever imagine that a person would describe themselves as body type = avg, and in reality, that person is 40 lbs overweight.
It is just a matter of honesty at that point. If someone is not being honest in that phase of a new relationship, then that relationship should probably progress no further…talking on the web is one thing, but meeting face to face is another. Not saying that everybody that meets face to face is only looking for sex or anything physical, just saying that meeting face to face denotes a new level of trust that is required now that the 2 people will be in the same room with each other.
Personally I would probably like to look like I did about 17 years ago, but I don’t. I tell myself the truth however and my pictures here on POF are current…if I had a reason to hide them on my public profile page, I would still send them to anybody I started talking to ….presuming of course that they even wanted to talk to me based on my profile…..
 onlyflower
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 241
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:58:30 AM
You can be attractive on the outside,and still be ugly on the inside.I use to meet people without photo's.I wont anymore.Alot of people lie about age, size, hight,color of thier skin,you name it they lie about it.I have met over seven not so honest people,please have a photo posted.
 cocytus
Joined: 11/9/2007
Msg: 242
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 6:03:11 AM

You can be attractive on the outside,and still be ugly on the inside.I use to meet people without photo's.I wont anymore.Alot of people lie about age, size, hight,color of thier skin,you name it they lie about it.I have met over seven not so honest people,please have a photo posted.


"Color of their skin"
Umm..did you READ that before you posted it?
Doesn't make you sound "racially-progressive"
And you misspelled "their"
 onlyflower
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 243
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 6:05:02 AM
The only way your friends will find out. is if they themselves go on this site,so what do you care?If they are doing it why does it matter if you do?
 uwishtoo1958
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 244
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 6:12:08 AM
I once had a guy write to me - years ago - and he didnt have a picture and we talked on the phone for a week solid every nite - he was sweet and nice and we just got along really well. We made a date for a Saturday and I asked him again to send me a picture - but honestly by that time I had already gotten a little feel for who he was and it wouldnt have mattered that much to me -he never sent me a picture and when I showed up at his house I walked up the drive and saw him through the windows and OMG he was drop dead gorgeous ! He later told me that he didnt want a woman that only would go out with him for his looks but preferred someone to get to know him as a person. We dated for about a year.
 ExplosiveSheep
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 245
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 6:15:41 AM

"Color of their skin"
Umm..did you READ that before you posted it?
Doesn't make you sound "racially-progressive"
And you misspelled "their"


He misspelt Height too, but that's not what I wanted to say, please don't get into a big 10 page rant again about how affirmative action is the best thing since bread, not white bread though, that's a racist loaf. It's already dead inside...
 Madame Chaucer
Joined: 4/26/2007
Msg: 246
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 12:00:29 PM
I am not looking at pictures to see whether the person is "handsome" or buff, or whatever. The way a person presents themself in a picture is what piques my interest about them. Sometimes a very open smile, twinkle in the eye, direct eye contact with the camera, a pic of a person who looks like they are truly enjoying something, etc., can inspire me to want to know more.

On the other hand, a man who chooses to put a photo up of himself shirtless and flexing, for example, or with a woman next to him who has her face scribbled out, is giving clues that he is not my "type" of person.

The pictures are not just about "looks."
 cocytus
Joined: 11/9/2007
Msg: 247
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 12:05:04 PM

He misspelt Height too, but that's not what I wanted to say, please don't get into a big 10 page rant again about how affirmative action is the best thing since bread, not white bread though, that's a racist loaf. It's already dead inside...


I don't rant.
My postings are clear.
And I haven't said anything about affirmative action.
You need to get your facts straight.
Might help if you left the sheep alone.

Short enough post for you?
 uwishtoo1958
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 248
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 4:35:09 PM
I once ran across an ad out here and the guy was like 62 years old but he had some pictures of him in body building competitions so I emailed and asked him about the pictures - turned out the pictures were from his years as a semi-pro in 1987 !!! Uh and this is 20 years later ??? and he still tried to tell me he looked the same - it was all I could do to stop from saying - uh no hun you dont ! And I dont like guys that post pictures like that anyway - show me one of him laughing or having a good time with clothes on - thanks. Hell I have glamour shots of myself that look great - but they arent the true me
 dancecard
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 249
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 4:47:40 PM
Humm ~ I feel your pain ~ probably best you stay hidden ~

I don't think you are ready yet ~ dar
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 250
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:08:20 PM
I talk to people without pictures but if girls are ditching you because you don't have a picture - - why don't you put a picture on your profile?? C'mon, don't be scared!
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