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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a p      Home login  
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 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 51
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture .... Page 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

i can believe it as well


me too.

it's amazing to me that people want to be in this game and yet they refuse to put a picture of themselves (a recent picture) in their profile.

this is not about "looks" or about being shallow.

it's about knowing who you're talking to. it is about avoiding players. it is about avoiding the kinds of horror stories you can read every day on this site by people who WERE kind enough to talk to someone and get to know them and even plan to meet them without ever having seen a picture of them!

i would never do that, i think it's nuts.

if you're not willing to fork over the pic? something's not right.

that's my policy, and i'm stickin to it.

cheers!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 52
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/2/2007 6:11:11 PM
Expecting women to fall into your lap sight unseen is a bit . . . how to say it politely . . . delusional.

Humans are visual creatures; we evolved to be such. We are attracted by bright colors, pretty lights, moving obejcts, and people whom we find appealing. On dating sites, we are attracted by pictures. The pictures get our attention, but most often, it is other things that keep it. A handsome face without a brain behind it is ultimately useless.

In perusing your profile, what you write makes you a throw-back (fish terminology). Your profile doesn't say anything. To be blunt, why would a woman want to be interested in you? You give her no reason to even be curious, especially when there are men who have pictures AND write something of interest.

I also wonder, as someone expressed, what you are looking for if you think we are just web-dating with no faces at all. Are you looking for anonymous cybersex? Good luck with that one!

By the way, did you mean "complement" instead of "compliment"?
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 53
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/2/2007 6:30:38 PM
A man could have the greatest personality but if he has hair down to his butt and a full beard theres no way I will ever be attracted to him.

Do you have this dude's phone number? I'm in love already. . . .


 LMK45
Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 54
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/2/2007 6:37:38 PM
My reason for wanting photos is that I need to see someone in different venues to determine if we have anything in common. I truly DO NOT HAVE THE TIME (nor will I waste it) to explore your innermost sensitive thoughts without knowing a little about you first. I'd like to see if there is a physical and commonality connection first. But if you're just looking for a chat friend, I mostly respond to those too when I have time. I'll even post a picture back to you with a bag over my head. Hee hee!!!
 PoeticBliss
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 55
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/2/2007 6:40:25 PM
arquitecto-- think of it this way... sometimes, no matter how nice a person is, not having a pic can be hard on someone who develops an emotional interest and then finds themselves backing out because there is no physical chemistry/attraction.
Its a very difficult thing to deal with. So try to think of as a way to be kind.
I dont have pics posted yet, but I'm working on it- at least I have a website address to send people to that does have my pic on it.
No one likes "talking in the dark".
Good luck!
 robfish
Joined: 11/14/2006
Msg: 56
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/2/2007 6:53:51 PM

If your on a dating site and have no picture, your just wasting your time !


I disagree! I know its frustrating OP, but try not to let it get to you. The "majority" of people on dating sites are shallow, when they look at your profile its the picture that decides whether or not you are relationship material. Think of this as a weeding process, the "decent fish" will treat you no differently and be willing to get to know you while the "unread/delete and read/delete" responders are interested in looks over substance. The strange thing here is that some of my most interesting conversations were with women who don't have a picture up in their profile, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be judged on personality first!
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 57
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/2/2007 7:51:06 PM

The "majority" of people on dating sites are shallow, when they look at your profile its the picture that decides whether or not you are relationship material.


This is not being "shallow." We all have our tastes, likes, and dislikes. There is no need to try to force ourselves to be romantically or sexually attracted to a person who simply doesn't attract us. If a man weighs 300 pounds, he is not going to attract me and I will base whether or not he is "relationship material" solely on that. If he wants to be friends, great, but I find that most men don't want a platonic friendship--they want sex. That's ok, I want sex, too, but not with someone who has the potential to suffocate me in the act.

Am I shallow for insisting that any man who wants to be involved with me must be intelligent? I don't contact men who appear to be semi-literate as evidenced by what they write on their profiles; I also politely rebuff the same men who contact me.
 goodfish4u
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 58
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:18:01 PM
might not just be cause u dont have any picture but more cause u dont have many words in your profile either.i heard the expression keep it short but i mean common??? would u honestly respond to someone's profile who doesnt give u more info than that???
u practically say nothing about u in it.
 Nooralniil
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 59
should I even respond to this?
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:23:29 PM
First of all, for a girl it is creepy to be approaced by a guy with no picture. Would I respond well to a man who approaches me in a dark alley and I can't see his face?!

Second, who ever told you dating was all about personality and not about appearance!? I would suspect no one. Obviously you need some attraction. And yes we can talk about how people become more or less attractive as you get to know them, but come on, some things are deal breakers.
Some people won't date fat or ethnic or short or acne or long hair or facial hair or tattoos or glasses... and some people lie about their gender. I realize people can use fake pictures but... without a photo, you are a creepy stranger in a dark alley.
 hugh613
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 60
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:35:02 PM

i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture

Umm, not to sound insensitive, but the fact that you have your height listed as less than 5' might have more to do with it than anything else. Feel free to chime in ladies...
 iwannabeearl
Joined: 10/3/2005
Msg: 61
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:39:10 PM
i only have to know that i can look at you.it does no good to talk if one person can't at at least tolerate the way one looks.
 Twilightexpress
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 62
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/2/2007 8:49:15 PM
Wake up kid! We live in a visual society. If it's not pleasing to the eye, we'll pass on it. Personally, I think that you are also the first person to demand honesty from someone, while not being honest enough to put up a pic. Not everyone finds the same thing attractive. So the question I have is, what are YOU hiding?
 lonebison
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 63
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/2/2007 9:21:42 PM
How do you web date? Can't figure that one out. Unless you are spiderman, web dating is not the same as a real date. Gotta have a pic. Gotta. Like it or not physical attraction is half of the chemistry needed for a good relationship. Unless you are web dating.
 robfish
Joined: 11/14/2006
Msg: 64
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/2/2007 10:34:15 PM

Am I shallow for insisting that any man who wants to be involved with me must be intelligent? I don't contact men who appear to be semi-literate as evidenced by what they write on their profiles; I also politely rebuff the same men who contact me.


No, intelligence is related to substance so that is in no way shallow! We do all have likes, dislikes, and certain tastes but it is shallow behaviour to base "relationship potential" on nothing but looks. What happens if this person loses their good looks and you no longer find them attractive 5-10 years down the line, do you end it? As for your fears of suffocation, make sure you are on top.
 Dare to
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 65
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 1:08:25 AM
To all you people who say we are shallow for wanting to be physically attracted to a person we may want to spend the rest of our lives with. Are you going to tell me you have never rejected a possible relationship because you did not find them physically attractive... I find that very hard to believe. You've never had someone walk up to you to try to chat you up and your mind went..ewww?? You would overlook that you found someone physically repulsive because they were a nice person?? Yeah right!!! Everyone has different tastes in the people they find attractive. Many women don't find 'my type' attractive at all.. Who cares!!!! Each to their own... Get over it!!!
 piscean_m
Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 66
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 1:33:02 AM
Stop fretting....I don't have a photo on my profile , however I have one to forward if its requested....furthermore I'm not having a problem receiving messages....

Everyone (males & females) have their reasons for posting or not posting their pics, and since it isn't a requirement on POF, we have a right to exercise our choice....and for those who do not like our choice they can simply use their navigational skills, CLICK_ON...
 decentandsexy
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 67
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 1:38:21 AM
there is alot of people that will put in there profile ask for a request to have a pic....and i will send them a pic of me....and i am ot ashamed of my pic....and its what someone has to offer you from there heart....looks are not everything..and either is money..money can not buy love...i am not a material person never was.the little things in life counts.if anyone wants to see my pic..just ask
 Sweets56
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 68
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 2:10:13 AM
Who said,if u dont have a pic up,u wont get any one writtin u!! BS, I dont have one up & never will,if u want one u will get one from my E Mail only. Ive had alot of guys write me & some dont even ask 4 a pic,the ones that do, i will send. They say if u have a pic up, u will get more mail, i get enough mail, I cant even imagine if i had a pic up,how much mail i would get!! I can only write too 7-8 guys at a time,thats enough 4 me! So no i dont need a pic,just put something that will get the guys attention on ur profile!
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 69
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 6:24:00 AM

Stop fretting....I don't have a photo on my profile , however I have one to forward if its requested....furthermore I'm not having a problem receiving messages....


yes fine, but, to all of you who don't have a photo in your profile, why not just put at least one photo in the profile? why go through the rigamarole of having to e-mail the photo privately to anyone you are talking to? i don't understand that.

i have something like 5 photos in my profile. and i have a job, i have students, i have reasons i could make up for not putting one there, but i don't expect people to talk to me or take an interest if they can't have some idea of what i look like.

besides, i have nothing to hide, and i am not hiding from anyone, so, why not just put the photo in the profile?

????

cheers all!
 Willow55
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 70
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 7:45:00 AM
Hello......anybody home?
The desire for visual stimulation is so prevelant in this site that the admin has added a feature whereby people can opt out of receiving messages from anyone with no photo.
This option is available in mail settings. If it were so unthinkable and uncommon for people to actually want to see who they are replying to, I doubt that admin would have gone to the bother of programming the option in.
My suggestion is to the OP.. get a pic and edit your profile.....even with a pic that profile was lame....
People want to read something of substance....something that shows a bit of effort or thought went into it.
A poor profile AND no pic... will not do well in this pond. Sorry if thats too blunt but ... c'est la vie.
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 71
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 7:57:58 AM

i thought the most important part in a relationship is not how you look is who really are ... the picture is just a compliment after all we are just web daiting ( no faces at all)


Picture this scenario: You're walking down the street and someone with a paper bag over their head comes up to to you and says "Hey there! I'm Mr. Smith. Don't you concern yourself with what I look like, get to know me first. Whaddoyasay?"
Savxavier's sentiments are exactly like mine. How in the blue hell do you normally meet people? Either with a bag over your head or a bag over her head? Pull your head out. Looks matter. Certainly who someone is matters as well. And of course the pic can be a phony. That's the way internet dating works. Get used to it pal.
 pbmac3
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 72
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 8:06:14 AM
I actually prefer chatting to ladies with no pic on their profile! That way I can picture them as I want.

Um, tonight I'm chatting with Christie Brinkley, tomorrow night.....Kathy Bates.


Post a pic! Or have your personality come shining through in your profile!
 jcee53
Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 73
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 8:43:07 AM
I haven't posted a picture either. My reason is that I am new to this online dating thing and
I have had problems with men stalking me and harassing me in the past. I don't know if I trust this thing yet, so I am just slowly checking it out. Also, I have heard that some people have had problems with weirdos on this site and if a person rejects them for whatever reason, they will post nasty rumours about them that could ruin their life. eg: A woman, who had posted a picture, went out with a person she met on pof. She decided that it wasn't going to work. The man was insecure and couldn't handle it like a man, so he posted her picture on a sex site with some mean lies that could absolutely ruin her, her family and her job. Winnipeg is just too small of a city for that.If someone really wants to meet you they will do it without a picture. Also, if people think that you don't post your picture because you must be hidious looking, then they just might be missing out on the best thing that ever happened to them. In my case, if a person really wants a picture of me then I will send it to them privately or we can meet briefly in person somewhere, after we have chatted for a while and we both feel that we might have a deeper connection. Sometimes looks can just get in the way, and people don't see you for who you really are. I bet many of you divorced people out there met your mate based on looks as a first priority, without getting to know the true them until later. What a major waste of time, don't you think?
 Bikeman_
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 74
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 8:51:09 AM
Hey nobody is saying you NEED to post a photo in your profile. It's ok to send one to somebody who you are corresponding with and someone you trust. Perhaps if you find yourself meeting losers, perhaps you are making poor choices? You might need to better screen the people who you are passing notes to.

If you have that much of a trepidation about internet dating, don't do it.
 AppyAnnie
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 75
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 8:59:15 AM
Are you for real??? Would you buy a car without seeing it ? C ome on., what makes you so special anyway???? I've heard that line soooooooooooooooo many times, then the FINALLY sent a picture (and now I know why no one would date them!!! ) Talk about insecurities..............................Time to grow up and face the world.


:-P
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