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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a p      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 dead account
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 76
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture .... Page 4 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I'm still having an issue with the fact that its a man that is crying about not getting any responses... with no pic and a profile that reads like a 2nd grader wrote it
 Greneyedgold
Joined: 11/14/2006
Msg: 77
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:14:28 AM
My question to your question [OP] is more like," What is wrong with someone to not be able or willing to post or share a picture of his or her self?"

This is an era of technology and communication! The camera was invented a long time ago now-not sure how far back ,but been a while.

All of us, who are lucky enough to have vision, though mine is getting worst all the time, innately like to see who we are speaking to.

If I am in a check-out line and someone behind me starts talking to me, I do not keep staring straight a head while I reply without at least a glance behind me.
Do you OP? Do you generally speak to people, but do not glance at them?

It is more stable feeling, more communicative in whole, for human's to look at the one they speak to unless on the telephone that has no picture capability.

When we speak on here although it is taken for granted( by some) that it is somehow 'less than' since we sit behind computers, we ARE speaking to other human's(that I think so anyway), and our nature is to 'see' who we converse with.

Not even going into the strange ,but true, incidents of people pretending to be one other than themselves.

I do not judge my desires solely on looks as the mind must be enticed first , for a complete attraction, but I feel a report is much less complete and not on equal grounds until I 'see' what another at least claims to be in person by picture.

That is the basis of 'us' needing a picture. We need that to complete the conversation and make it more a 'reality'.

Keep it real with a picture ; you follow that OP at all?

Many people can find a way to get a picture done today and uploaded on a computer , and if one can't, I do not think they are ready for the dating world as that is a complicated world in itself.

OK, either I had too much coffee or not enough. However, the above is just my opinion, but I do know many share the same desire to 'see' who they are 'chatting' to online to make it 'real'.

Peace,
Gren

 Greneyedgold
Joined: 11/14/2006
Msg: 78
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:37:26 AM
Robfish,
You are calling the majority of us "shallow" on this site without knowing us as people because we want to SEE who we talk to?
So which part of your statement was shallow.....as that was not a 'deep' reply.
Especially coming from a man who has a picture of himself posted.

Confused?

Until I go blind, I like to see the human's I 'talk' to and when I talk on here, it is talking to humans.

I have conversed with people several emails with no pictures on their side; however, I did eventually ask for one as it is rather like talking to a blank wall. Which I did once when I was around 19 and had had too much champagne ,it was all fine and fun, but ooops....forgetaboutit.........back to your statement.

I am not shallow. Choose who you call shallow. If you so much agree with him, take your picture down, for maybe you are acting shallow by having one posted. Why would we want to see who we chat to? Duh.

Oh and BS too,
Gren

 TAKEN fab-mom
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 79
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:45:13 AM
I like to see pictures. But if someone had an interesting profile I would not blow them off just because of no picture. I would, however like to see one eventually before we met.
 arquitecto
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 80
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 1:18:43 PM
Starline -
Oh so I guess you are a Havard graduate looking for women online!,
 cchildofodhin
Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 81
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 1:57:33 PM
Could it be that because sexual attraction, the desire and pleasure of sex is controlled by the brain, we can assume that we use our eyes to begin this pleasure. After all, it is in nature's design to procreate with the stongest "gene pool" we can find. It has always been "survival of the fittest", just look at nature, the males are always trying to attract a female by showing they are the stongest, that their genes will secure the future of their kind and how does alot of nature do this, by beauty (look at the birds), by strength (look at the lions) and by us, look at the makeup in the bathroom and the perfumes for male and female, and by our clothes even, are we not strutting our stuff too? It has been so since the beginning of time, male or female, we are always looking for the best we can find. If a pic wasn't needed, then our sight and desire for beautiful things would not be necessary, but since we have sight, I think a pic is necessary, I want to see who I am talking to, to look into their eyes, I believe the eyes are the windows to the soul. I can't help but wonder whether or not you are hiding something when there is not a pic and that is no way to start a friendship or relationship, I mean how can you trust what you can't see, or know whether you even want too? I have to have a pic, but that's just me. Sorry thing about it, there are probably some nice people without pic's who are going to be passed over just because they don't have a pic, it's sad but true.
 Steve_Sandy
Joined: 3/19/2006
Msg: 82
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 2:04:40 PM
never really bothered to search for anyone without a picture, as if they cant even be bothered to get that bit right.... might search for all if only doing very local stuff, like the next village

actually thought u are a woman from the name, but guess ur mexican ?

profile has minimal info, u dont use too many words, but here is a short phrase u might like

" A picture is worth a thousand words"

Maybe you can post several pictures and save several thousand words
 lekitty
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 83
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 2:07:40 PM
I'm not really sure WHY you wouldn't want to post a pic....but if for some reason you're self-conscious or maybe not super secure about your looks...DON'T BE! Here's one way to look at it....One afternoon I was watching the show "Inside the Actor's Studio" where they interview celebrities for both the public and the drama students in New York. They were talking to someone very famous (I think Tom Hanks, but I'm not sure..lol) and one of the students asked what he could do to increase his chances of getting hired because he's got a round baby face and he's not some bodybuilder...just an average guy with nothing special to make him stand out. He asked, "How am I going to get jobs? What can I do?" And, this amazing super-Star said to him that one day there will be some producer who talks to an agent and says, "Who have you got with a baby face and who doesn't look like a bodybuilder? THAT'S who I want for this job!!"
That's what you have to keep in mind if that's what's holding you back from posting a picture. There will be someone somewhere who's looking for a guy just like you and you're denying them a chance to see that in advance. I guess there's a part of me that feels it's like using a computer that you bought in 1999 just because you can...WHY shouldn't we avail ourselves of all the options that we can while checking out what the "internet dating" idea has to offer? Show your picture and TRY to find the words to tell someone who you really are. That profile is the equivalent of walking up to someone and introducing yourself....if I get half the info, I won't take any more time to keep trying to dig; I'll move on.
Personally, I think that you can get a feel for who the person is based on what they write (or DON'T write) in their profile just as much as you can from a pic. I'll be honest, I'm probably not going to ever reply to someone who's profile is one sentence or who writes me an email that's barely recognizable as English because of the horrid spelling and weird slang....lol....but that's just me. I was an English major, so it just happens to be that meeting someone who can write a legible sentence is pretty important to me. Someone who loves boating and the water doesn't want to date someone with a paralyzing water phobia, right? And, yeah I'll take advantage of the fact that being online allows us ALL to see what we're getting into before we take the next step. Maybe if you have a pic AND a well-written profile that tells others (as best you can?!) who you REALLY are I'd be willing to bet money that you'd get more responses and probably have more fun too.

I also would like to agree with some of your other replies....I think that most people don't see this as just "web dating." People are here to meet OTHER PEOPLE....heehee......If you don't really feel that you're going to meet anyone worthwhile or if you do it's not "that important" maybe that feeling comes through when you email or IM someone. Everyone in the world likes to be made to feel that they matter; we all want to feel important or special to someone. If you give the impression that the person you're talking to isn't "real" or that they're somehow "less" than others because you're just "on the web"....people are going to be able to feel that.
Just be yourself and yes, show yourself.....and if that's not working, well....change it! I'm sure if you give it a chance, there's someone out there who's looking to meet someone just like you. But, you'll never know if you don't at least try it, WITH pics and with a profile that catches attention. Unfortunately, we are all visual creatures and we're more likely to feel interested in someone that we can see because we feel that we might be able to trust that a little bit.....at least to get started. Best of luck, though....no matter what. There really are great people out there if you just take the time to get to know them and don't ever judge someone new because of people in your past. Everyone deserves a clean slate! Take care....
 Captain_Whatever
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 84
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 2:28:35 PM
Unfortunately, if you want to have a significant chance of finding someone, sometimes you have to sacrifice some of these little opinions.

The opinion that a picture is not necessary is one of them.

I'm here for the forums or I would have one.

I will date a girl with no pic, since to me, I guess given that I don't exactly have girls flocking to me, if I'm not attracted to her, then at least I got to meet someone new. Works for me. If I had some of this action

going on, I wouldn't have time for just meeting people.

I do have one objection, though, which is that a picture helps with recognition.
 Fishing0464
Joined: 3/25/2007
Msg: 85
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 2:43:07 PM
It's not because of your picture...
 dead account
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 86
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 8:57:46 PM

arquitecto

Msg: 80
Starline -
Oh so I guess you are a Havard graduate looking for women online!,


You don't need to have a degree in order to be able to comunicate who you are and what you like in a profile.
Besides, I wouldn't go to Harvard.. I'm a Princeton kind of guy
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 87
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:07:00 PM
good grief, post a freaking picture, or send one thru email.... I'm not going to give any man serious consideration if he can't put his cards on the table... lol.. this is ludicrous to even go there... shallow????? naw.... realistic.....
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 88
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:17:14 PM
OP - welcome to the visual and virtual world of OLD (online dating). It is what it is. You'll have better luck if you do have your mug out there and it's current. If you can't "beat them, join them".
 jtriple7
Joined: 5/14/2007
Msg: 89
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:17:26 PM
I disagree with you, toenail clippings. I have yet to post a pic, and have had met (in person) 5 men on here. Not one has been disappointed with my looks. In fact, I'm meeting for a second date soon with an incredibly attractive gentleman who had never seen what I looked like before our first date, and I've received several emails (after) letting me know he thinks I'm beautiful and was NOT disappointed!
 janice rand
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 90
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/4/2007 5:26:19 AM
There is nothing " wrong " with someone who does not choose to post a picture. Yes cameras have been around forever , but not all of us want our faces splashed across the internet .

If others choose to do this then i see nothing wrong with them putting up pictures , but there is also nothing wrong with those of us who don't want to put up a picture. Comparing online dating to meeting someone in line at a grocery store is just not the same thing .

The amount of lies and deceptions that go on with people online is far more then in real life. Probably because online you can be whoever you choose to be . In real life that is a lot more hard to do .

After i talk to someone one time and we are getting along and i want to continue talking to this person i will show them many pictures of me and before we meet i will go on web cam with them . There is no right and wrong way to do this , just different ways.
 robfish
Joined: 11/14/2006
Msg: 91
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/4/2007 6:58:57 AM

You are calling the majority of us "shallow" on this site without knowing us as people because we want to SEE who we talk to?
So which part of your statement was shallow.....as that was not a 'deep' reply.
Especially coming from a man who has a picture of himself posted.


Whats your point? If you look at my post you will see I wrote "majority", I didn't say that everyone was shallow! The OP's issue here seems to be that women won't talk to him AT ALL because he doesn't have a picture in his profile and that is shallow behaviour to me. Your situation is different, you did chat/email before asking for a pic. How is any of that related to my profile? Yes, I do have a picture up but according to you that makes ME shallow? How? I talk to everyone, picture, no picture, doesn't make a difference to me.....
 Pixy Dust
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 92
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/4/2007 7:21:04 AM
I am at a loss for not sending a pic thru email right away when chatting with a person. I understand for the "job" or what have you that some don't post one, but yeah I want to see who a person is before I go one step further.. My goodness why do you have to get to know a person first before lowering the veil on your face???? seems a bit extreme... makes me wonder if a person like that is a shrek... hmmm I won't care if you are or not it's the mystery face image that gets projected out.....
 kaisenji
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 93
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/4/2007 7:56:48 AM
arquitecto: I agree with a couple of other posters. Your profile leaves a lot to be desired. Why not put in the effort and fill it out more? I appreciate a guy (picture or not) who actually fills out this profile with good information. I pass up anything with 5 lines or less.
A combination of both would get you more responses. You've gotten a lot of responses here but only due to whining about how you are being passed up by the ladies. Plus people are looking at your profile so I guess you've gotten what you wanted: more attention.

Lastly, I too have see threads like this before; hope the MODS noticed its a whine fest and deletes it.
 LookieLou456
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 94
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/4/2007 8:24:51 AM
Hey Arq I hate how I look but I bit the bullet and put up a picture...don't be shy, we gals all want to see how they grow 'em in Barcelona...lol.
 FullLifeWithKids
Joined: 4/10/2007
Msg: 95
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i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/4/2007 8:32:39 AM
Well it may not be looks. I always wonder if there is no pic is this a maried guy who does not want anyone to recognize him and tell his wife. After one of the men on this site met both me and a friend from work. And had the balls to lie when we were at the bar together and both talked to him on the cell phone.

Might I add he did not have the ovum to come in and meet us both in person. Neither of us wanted a LTR just say hey and have a beer.

I also think he has a wife as well.

Just another perspective.
 57blueeyes
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 96
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/4/2007 8:43:47 AM
Unfortunately,physical attraction seems to be the FIRST step.Most people,I think,need to feel some sort of physical chemistry before they want to know WHO you are.Conversely,some of the most attractive people get real ugly when they open their mouth.Ever been set-up on a date being told "she has a nice personality"?Red flag!
 SOUL AND HEART
Joined: 9/21/2006
Msg: 97
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/4/2007 8:47:40 AM
So many women are in denial. They say it's what's inside that counts, but they're the first to reject a man because he is short or bald or fat or has hair on his back or all of the above. C'mon, let's be honest with ourselves.
I happen to be tall, with a head of hair, so I'm rarely discriminated against, but I see it happen to other men all the time.
Okay lady, face reality. The physical is 50% of the package. You can't have a romantic relationship without some kind of physical attraction.
Sometimes people like to look at life with one eye closed. One person says the cup is half empty, the next person says the cup is half full. The reality is - it's both! So that's how you should look at it. With both eyes wide open.
 slysterling
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 98
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/4/2007 11:25:08 AM
post 93 probably is pretty close to most accurate.

OP:"" i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture .... """
I can believe it too! It's really no mystery. When you first signed up here and did your profile, the owner of the Site gives you a bunch of tips: here's the first one in case you forgot or never noticed it:

Tips...

1. If you upload a picture of yourself you tend to get 10 times the number of responses.

So, yes, I can believe it. Besides this thread sounds like it almost belongs in Profile review.

Maybe down the road the site will subdivide the dating forums so we can put all the whiny nice guy threads in one separate folder, and then from the women's side, all the bashing stuff that usually starts out with "Why are all men...so and so". Then whoever wants to post to whiny nice guy threads, or men bashing threads, they'll all be in the same folder.

OP, Your own profile says: ""I believe there is a woman walking through life waiting for me and I will do everything in my power to keep her close to me. """
Well if you were willing to do everything in your power, you would think you would follow the owner of the site's advice and get yourself ten times as many messages by posting a pic. You folks can debate and discuss this one till the cows come home, but it still won't change the fact that a picture in your profile is going to better your odds of finding someone.

Have a good one..
 Sunbirdus
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 99
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/4/2007 2:20:14 PM
No pic = married or live in girlfriend doesnt wanta get caught...just my thoughts
 arquitecto
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 100
i can believe everyone has been ditching me because i don't have a picture ....
Posted: 7/5/2007 7:11:40 AM
well no pic ... more interesssting... pic as requested......
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