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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Calling all 40-60Something Males?      Home login  
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 26
Calling all 40-60Something Males?Page 2 of 62    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Star - I can tell you that this fella is thinking with the Little Head, chances are he's a "player" and I'm not talking Monopoly here. Ooops, perhaps he's Monopolizing the Flavor of the Month Club.

You'll find people are insecure about age, looks, money, etc. and try to lump ALL of us into one box. Guess what? We don't fit in one, nice neat, little box. I'm 51 years young, I'd probably attract more men (initially) if I were thinner, and perhaps had bigger hair. Reality, is what we make of the situation. Each and every one of us on POF are getting older (year wise) by the minute.

What matters to prospective partners is that we make the best of what we have, take care of ourselves (emotionally, physically, spiritually), and for heaven's sake, DON'T TAKE LIFE SO SERIOUS! The real "us" seek a partner who will "enhance" us, not "make us".

Oh, and when some moron wants to say "you look good for your age", geez, I'd like to give them an old fashioned ass kicking. I didn't know that there is a specific way that people over the age of 35 are suppose to look!
 someone for real
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 27
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Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 5:16:39 PM
i dont believe thats true at all i think if it was the right one it wouldnt matter to me maybe ya should move here..
Joined: 3/26/2007
Msg: 28
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 5:16:57 PM
Oh, and when some moron wants to say "you look good for your age", geez, I'd like to give them an old fashioned ass kicking. I didn't know that there is a specific way that people over the age of 35 are suppose to look!

Now why did you have to go and say a thing like that......
I think she's cute and paid her a compliment and now your all jealous..... ksue44
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 29
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Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 5:26:23 PM
Why would a 63-year-old man knock a woman 10 years younger, who looks over 20 years younger, and has the fitness of 30 years younger?
He wants you, but does not want to be committed to you, because he knows you can do better, and you will be unlikely to stay unless he changes his misogynistic and self-centred ways. So he wants to sleep with you, but not be committed to you, and you are only looking for long-term (I checked your profile). So he you, and you don't want him. So he insults you to make himself feel better.

This is no different than the young man who approaches a young, attractive woman, asks her out, she says she's not attracted to him, and so he calls her a lesbian, to boost his ego.

It's a crock of garbage. In fact, most 45-year-old men would be unlikely to pursue a relationship with someone much younger because of the differences in interests and values. So it's the other way around. Also, given how youthful you look and are, you would be more likely to get a 35-year-old man who's already had kids interested in you for long-term.

Just remember:
No-one ever kicks a dead dog.
from Dale Carnegie's How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 30
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 5:50:29 PM
Quick, help the poor man look for his brains because has lost his mind.(well if he had one to begin with that is.)

Age has some bearing but a good woman or man can over come that obstacle by just being a great person.

I looked at your profile.
You look GOOD! You sound like you have good character. You lead a healthy life style. Your interests are eclectic and have range. I LIKE it!

I would perfer if we were a bit closer in age but if we were in the same neighborhood I would be sniffing around your skirts to see if I could get your attention.
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 31
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 6:07:08 PM

But the fact is that you're 53. And the fact is that the vast majority of men over 45 will not even consider dating a woman your age. It doesn't matter if she is well educated, very physically fit, or even financially secure. She could be wonderful company and very beautiful. If so, a man over 45 might have a short term relationship with her. But if she's over 45, he will rarely consider having a serious long term relationship with her."

Suddenly, I feel so bad for Christie Brinkley.
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 32
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 6:35:16 PM
Well, most of the responses so far are self-deluding or politely deceptive so I'll write the truth.

No, I have no interest in dating a woman that's older than me by more than a year or two. My ex-wife lied to me about her real age, she's actually more than ten years older than me and it was hard on my ego when I found out.

For years I asked myself, "Am I so undesirable that the only woman I could get was ten years older, sterile, with below average education and earnings?"

It bothered me for years and it still does. And now that I know the statistics, it would bother me more. At my age, women outnumber men. Would I be so undesirable now that I couldn't even duplicate my previous situation?

If the answer is yes, then screw it, I don't need the ego-burden for another fifteen years. If the nature of life, of this culture, is that liars are better successes than me, well, I just won't bother putting out any more effort. I've already reached that conclusion with work, I feel strongly that women are the same way.

It's not worth me FRONT-LOADING tons of effort, like I did for thirty years, HOPING that I would get a return on my effort. I'm not doing it again.
Joined: 6/12/2007
Msg: 33
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 7:15:38 PM
Broward - you remind of my of a guy I know. He is 43, never been married, played all his life and is now looking to get married, have kids & settle down. He wants a young girl.

I am 44 and already have 3 kids. I want to meet someone to have fun with now, retire with, play with --- not raise babies.

Thing is he is not in great shape, I'm healthier and more active than he is. My doctor calls me "perfect". He limps, is getting arthritis and never does anything athletic. I'll out live him by 20 years. My sex drive is 5x what his is.

But I'm not in his "age range". Ha. It's become all about the looks & age (which I do well in) and not about compatibility and appreciating each other. Its become a sad situation.
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 34
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 7:41:51 PM
i know a few gals a couple years older than i that can run circles around me. -not that i don't keep in shape already. if she can hike, run, rollerblade, dance her ass off and slam tequila (without breaking a hip) -i'll even let her ride in the front seat of the car
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 35
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Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 8:37:03 PM
OP.. some thots..

First, I'd strongly disagree with the guy you were referring to.. 'nuff said there.

I'm 60, and figure I have maybe 10 good years left.. and am willing to look at anyone 46-65..
IF they are not calcified in their thinking.. By that I mean that their mind is still active,
they have their own life.. however you want to phrase it..

More importantly, they should truly like and respect males as people..
Many people have little liking or respect for the opposite sex due to life experiences..
and absorb reflections of distortions of charicatures from the TV and movies which
seem to validate their views. No thanks..

And.. I don't know.. but the above may be a factor in looking for someone..
I know it is for me..

As for younger women, sure it'd be fun.. but it would have to be a *very* special one to get
serious over.. and, bottom line, it's just not fair to her.. And I have a mirror..:-)

Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 36
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 9:20:14 PM
Stargazer, i have just had a look see at your profile pics and you are very nice, i sure wouldnt have said you were 53.
age is not an important issue for me, it all comes down to the personality of the lady and if you are happy together. i am just a few years behind you at 49, and i see more in common in some ladies around your age than ladies in their early to mid 40s

I don’t care for this financial thing so many look at is a big deal, so what if your only in a rented house, drive an older car and are on a pension. We cant all be in a job we love, afford to have a fancy car and house, financial security does not relate to the amount of compassion and love a person can show.
Joined: 6/7/2007
Msg: 37
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 10:20:09 PM
"You don't even look 40,
.....Sorry, the gentleman was overdoing it a bit, you don't look 30.
MOST guy's in the 40-60 year age gap don't want a long term relationship full stop. MOST guy's have come away from long term bad marriages wounded, and wish to catch up on all the years that they missed out on. Day's when they use to flirt, play the field etc etc. Unfortunately, these are the guy's that think along the lines that they look younger and theyare fitter, so therefore they can find someone younger and fitter. Sadly this is how some of them think, and the sooner they realize that people DO age, and they accept the aging process (this goes for men AND women) the sooner they will have contentment in their lives.
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 38
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 10:58:31 PM
Concerning post 1....

*** He was saying... he's just not into you.
( simple but true)

The reasons can be any... maybe one eyebrow is 1/1000th higher than the other
or your shoe size is not his preference... or you appear too old for him in his mind...
but who cares why....
he is just saying he's not that into you... so tell him bye bye and find someone who is...
you will end up listening to the all the other stupid insights this guy has about women, lif and wat's going on in the world.

Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 39
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/3/2007 11:28:48 PM
I'm just going to throw out a couple of postulations here.....please feel free to disabuse me of my silly notions at will..... And before I begin, I've had significant relationships with somebody a couple year older....and more recently, with somebody 13 years younger.

a) From women I've dated I've heard that about 80% of the initial emails they receive have been from guys at least 7-1o years older. So I would expect your friend was pointing out the reality of the dating merry-go-round-smorgassbords that we are all on. So to a degree he was probably making a point....albeit poorly timed as he was 63. If this was in the context of a date (as opposed to an intellectual discussion) it makes me wonder if he was trying to disqualify the rest of "the field" so you would be more interested in him.

b) Younger women can mean more complications to an older many. Kids, exes, possibility of pregnancy, onset of menopause and not know how things will be on the back side of that, career driven coupled with a desire to start working less, etc., are all conflicting factors. Maybe less baggage and less broken relationships for the younger women.

c) Older women probably tend to have had more broken relationships.....perhaps several LTR's including divorce(s). And I'd say they are more jaded and tend to share that.

All in all, I think he's making a valid point about dating.....not so sure about mating.
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 40
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/4/2007 11:16:12 AM
I don't think anyone is confused... but like on all threads, the question includes other information that won't be ignored --and shouldn't be-- or why did you include it?

It's also not a good idea to talk about personal email with a specific person. Regardless of the content, Personal is supposed to stay personal...
Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 41
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/4/2007 11:44:40 AM
Stargazer, I don't believe a man my own age will 'inevitably' seek to date a younger woman ... I give men a LOT more credit than that 63-year-old Coot who said that!!! (I'm 62, so I can call him a Coot.)

I've dated men who are up to 15 years younger as well as 15 years older than me, and had a great time with them!! But for me, ideally, I've learned that a 5-year difference either way is probably more reasonable.
Joined: 5/9/2007
Msg: 42
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/4/2007 11:44:51 AM
OP - It is hard to figure out what the guy was talking about. And it seems he was 'way over the top and ventured into rudeness.

However, I read lots of profiles on POF and I find a large number of women who believe they look 'years younger'. Sometimes this is true. Most often (in my opinion) it is wishful thinking. Often I go back and forth comparing the profile words with the photos and can only shake my head.

One thing I have learned from a number of experiences: Women in their forties will seldom get serious about a man in his mid fifties or early sixties (unless he has plenty of money and assets - but that is another topic - we can debate that elsewhere so please don't slam me here).

When a man is in his early forties - looks fairly good - is in good shape - has a good job - he can attract a woman in her early thirties - all the way down to ages in the late 20's.

But that age range difference disappears when the man is mid fifties or early sixties.

And I believe the reason is --- Most 45 y.o. women are smart enough to figure out that if she marries a man 10 -12 -14 years older - that she is going to bury him when she is barely 70 if not in her late sixties - y.o.a. That's the bottom line folks.

Wealth often overcomes this factor - we can start another thread to debate it if you wish.

Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 43
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/4/2007 11:59:05 AM
I am 42 and I don't care how old it says a woman is on the drivers license. It is all about if I find them attractive and fun to be around. Why limit yourself based on age???
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 44
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/4/2007 12:13:35 PM
OP.. think about it ~ the 63 yr old man has been married twice and single for 14 yrs... doesn't that tell you something? His generalization about men who are over 45 and what they think about women over 45 is his utter ignorance of reality. It's no wonder he's been single for 14 yrs. He was divorced at age 49 and didn't consider women over 45 for a relationship.. He is living the result of his own ignorance of the opposite sex.

At 63, he probably cannot get the attention younger women and even women his own age ~ especially if they were given a taste of his philosophy. If he is looking for a relationship with a woman of any age he has missed his window of opportunity unless he looks and has the energy and interests of a guy who is 15 or 20 yrs younger and even then once a female got a taste of his pious attitude he'd be kicked to the curb in a nano-second.

Don't let his remarks shake your confidence. He has no idea of what he is talking about. As a woman well over the age of 45, I haven't had a shortage of guys of any age knocking at my door.

You rock , OP ~ don't let anyone tell you any differently!
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 45
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Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/4/2007 12:27:24 PM
It's only on the internet that everyone has an age attached to themselves . In real life we don't walk around with our age printed on a name tag .
I believe that by far men are much more concerned about some physical chemistry than the actual age.
IMHO ... women are atleast as age conscious as men are on the internet .....maybe more so.
I have noticed that some mid- thirty women think anything over forty is "ancient" ....which is only true on a really bad day . lol
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 46
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/4/2007 3:46:29 PM
As a 54 year old woman, all I can say to the 63 year old man's comment is "Bullshit."

Even if HE were a woman over 45, one simply cannot make a judgement based on one, or two, or even five people's experiences. We are individuals, what happens to us as individuals is . . . individualized (ok, you can groan over than statement).
Joined: 5/22/2007
Msg: 47
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/4/2007 5:59:34 PM
I'll have to admit, I've looked at some dating sites and was amazed at what some of the men were looking for; i.e. 45Y/O male looking for 18-35Y/O female, things like that. Who are they kidding? In know when I was 18-25 I wouldn't even have considered a 40Y/O man, YUCK! lol. Now that I'm 51, 40 seems pretty young. :)

Also, don't most of us think we look young for our age? How many of us have seen people our age and said "wow, he/she looks so old!" I've been told I look a lot younger than my age a lot but when I look in the mirror, nope there's at least a 50 year old looking back! lol But I take care of myself and I think that's what's important.

Like most of the books say, men are visual. But so are women. If people don't like the picture they see, they will pass up the profile, no matter what the age. It's all a matter of taste. Don't ya think?
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 48
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Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/4/2007 6:10:23 PM
I try to stay in a 10 year time span from my age. Although i did date a woman 12 years older than me. It was not the age that turned me off. It was her smoking. Any older than that and i have a hard time relating to them. The same goes for the younger ones. And i prefer the older women, if given a choice.
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 49
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/4/2007 6:33:46 PM
Wish I had a dollar for every profile I have read that states they look younger than their age.

If someone looks younger than their age do you really think it is necessary to have to tell everyone....... will it not be painfully obvious !!!

Or is the person oblivious to the obvious aka denial aka overcompensating ?

I have read where a person eyes are much kinder to themselves than others peoples eyes. I believe this to be very true.

Personally, I write those kind of comments off in profiles. A person who really does look younger than their age will never mention it........ there is no need. It is obvious.

For the original poster........The bottom line is: It will matter to some men and not matter to other men. There will not be a general consensus on this particular subject. It is too individualistic for a blanket statement.

Personally, ( and not that anyone asked) my (ideal) mate would be right about my own age give or take a couple of years............ a couple being 2 - 5 years. That does not mean I would not consider someone 5 - 8 years younger or older...... simply the (ideal) range.

Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 50
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Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 7/4/2007 7:16:10 PM
Well color me weird but I don't get the whole "don't look your age" or "look younger than your age". I think most time it's just flattery. Doesn't really do much for me, I'd be much more flattered by someone saying, wow you're very well spoken, intelligent, accomplished, something that I'd actually done or achieved rather than comparing what I look like to some arbitrary mental picture of what someone my age is supposed to look like.
I get particularly amused by those who tell you "I look much younger than my age". My experience with that is, they don't. I have an acquaintance who would say that repeatedly, because I'm tactful I never said otherwise. Had he ASKED me, then yes I would have said well I don't think so. Ehh...what's the point, no harm in letting him deal with it. I'm sure there's a reason he never asked, as he knows me to be outspoken and very forthright with my opinion.
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