|masturbating neighborPage 4 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)|
|Get one of those little hearing aid thingys that they sell on TV so you can hear better and won't have to put the glass up to the wall.. From what I understand you can hear people talking across the street, so that should work, then you will have your hands free to explore other areas ! |
Posted: 10/20/2007 4:25:29 PM
|O.K. so, go knock on her door or were gonna pound you..|
Posted: 10/20/2007 11:03:51 PM
|I would go out and buy some lube and then knock on her door and explain why you have lube and give it to her. You can never have enough lube.|
the giggleparts - true that... true that.
Posted: 10/20/2007 11:53:58 PM
|^^^ I think a more direct route is needed here.... ask if you could borrow a cup of hot sex...|
the giggleparts - Seriously
Posted: 10/21/2007 4:50:13 AM
|Buy a large box of batteries and leave them in front of her door with a note saying "With compliments, your neighbor in apartment #123.|
Posted: 2/28/2008 11:25:01 PM
|i think u should knock at her door and offer to help out hahaha...and if she doesnt want u to...then go to the super and make a complaint about the noise HAHA|
never happened ...but it would be really funny styll ...i would bang on the wall all the time prolly haha
Posted: 2/29/2008 5:50:31 AM
|A quick way to see if she wants you to hear or not, is while she is mid flow, just have one loud knock against the wall, and see if she stops the noise for a lil while. If not, try again a little louder, and see if any knocking makes her stop. If it doesnt after a lot of knocking, she probably likes you listening, and maybe you should go introduce yourself when she has finished. |
Then the next time you see her, apologise for the noise while moving the furniture
Posted: 2/29/2008 8:18:18 AM
|i would introduce myself as a Energizer Battery salesman.|
Posted: 5/3/2008 8:44:27 AM
|Definitely two ways of going about it, LOL.|
#1 At the height of her pleasure scream into the wall with your loudest most evil voice "Little pig, little pig, let me INNNN!!!!!"
#2 When you think she is really involved in the matter knock on her door with a very authoritative voice "Open up, POLICE!"
Either way results are guaranteed.
Posted: 5/14/2008 8:53:14 PM
|Just for fun....Maybe one day when you hear her masturbating and she's really into it. Bang on the wall really really hard and scare the sh1t out her....That would really be funny.|
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:26:39 PM
|Get dressed up in yer work gear/toolbelt etc & when she's getting to the point of no return go knock on the door & say you've come to replace the exhaust gasket & muffler on her vibrator...|
Posted: 5/17/2008 5:49:59 PM
Isn't this the plot of a porno? Nevermind, those have no plots. My bad.
Posted: 5/21/2008 7:57:50 AM
|We had a neighbor that was very loud. To the point we could set up a mic on our lap top and record it quite clearly from our bedroom (no special mic, not against the wall). One night we recorded it, put it online and wrote down the link for them to hear it with an explanation of how we obtained the sound. |
We also sent the link to the land lord.
Normaly, if it was once in a while, I wouldn't care and would giggle, but this was an almost nightly thing at all times of the day and week (nothing like hearing "Oh god, F$%K me in the a$$, cream in my hole" at 3 in the morning when you have to be up in 2 hours). It also helped that one of the super intendants managed to hear a session when she picked her 8 year old daughter up from playing with out son at 4 in the afternoon. This was from our front door, their bedroom was upstairs on the other side of the appt.
Needless to say, they didn't live there much longer after that.
Posted: 6/24/2008 6:15:51 PM
|I'd buy her energizer batteries they keep going and going .. just saying|
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:39:53 PM
|eventually your going to have to grow some balls and talk to her, -(keep the self pleasure part a secret -until she brings it up) |
Posted: 3/15/2009 12:16:44 PM
|my god........men ask for signs every day, and this one is RIGHT NEXT DOOR!!!|
hell, you have nothing to lose, ask if you can join in and give her something better than the vibrator. just have fun with it, and dont be shy.
Posted: 3/15/2009 12:34:25 PM
|I once lived in an apartment building where my upstairs neighbors were 2 very large people,I mean he must have weighed 450 lbs and she wasn`t much lighter.Unfortunately,my bedroom was right under theirs and they had a bed with a metal frame and springs instead of a box spring!Every night at precisely 11:30 I would hear boom-boom-boom squeak scrunch as one climbed into bed and two minutes the same thing as my other light-footed neighbor went to bed.Then precicely 5 minutes later squeek-squeek,squeek-squeek,sqeek- squeek for precisely 20 minutes.There couldn`t have been ANY sound proofing in those floors,it was so loud! Not only was I losing sleep,but the very thought of those two masses of flesh going at it right over my head ended up being more than I could bear!(They moved in after I was already living there)Finally,I went to the hardware store,screwed up my courage and knocked on their door.When answered I introduced myself and informed them of my problem.Then I told them that I could appreciate their having a regular sex life and all,then whipped an oil can out frome behind my back and asked them if they would please oil their damned bed frame!They immediately blushed and whipped back into their apartment,and the very next day a brand new bed,complete with box spring was delivered to their home .Ahh blissful silence!So,you see ,there is always a way to deal with your neighbor`s ,err ,audible emanations!|
Posted: 3/15/2009 9:20:20 PM
|I'd probably get myself off with her and make lots of noise too hoping she would notice.|
Posted: 3/15/2009 9:52:42 PM
|Send her a note that says... I envy your toys! |
I would introduce yourself.... ASAP!!! Before you soon begin to hear the female AND male sex sounds! By then you will have wished you had made your move sooner!
Toys won’t satisfy her for long; sooner or later she will want the real thing! That could be....YOU if you move on it!
Oceanman1310... I’d be more worried about the roof caving in on me rather than the boom- boom –boom- squeek-squeek-squeek. lol
Posted: 3/16/2009 7:23:55 AM
|Bang on the wall the next time, then start masturbating yourself and make loud noises. Then, next time you see her outside the apartment, smile at her and say "that was fun."|
Posted: 5/6/2009 12:36:10 AM
|You should knock on her door, and tell her to repent! And also through in "Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten!|
Truth, let me tell ya bout the birds and the bees-TruthinessInc
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:46:00 AM
|I was invited over to my friends house .|
only to find him masturbating on his couch I just turned around and whent back home.
Posted: 10/24/2009 11:11:45 AM
|Yep, my upstairs neighbors got it on all the time (something about apt. #209 lol), first lesbians, then a straight couple, then a single woman masturbating. I too got annoyed with it at 3am when it woke me up, but then I learned to enjoy it. Even rolled down the window to get a better earfull. |
Enjoy and play with yourself too! Maybe you two can cum together!
Posted: 10/26/2009 3:54:52 PM
|when i was 19 i was in the army, and in a co ed barack block, the girl on the other side was french and very loud,it was a time when i had my girlfriend over every night, we used to compeate who could make the most noise, oh those days|