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 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 193
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Why do men act like they are always busy?Page 10 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
If a man is "busy", it usually means he's not interested or the woman is crazy and he's hoping she will take a hint. Seriously. If the guy wants to talk to the woman, he knows where to find her. I've seen women message the guy's friends to find out where he is. I'm sure that's a real turn on. "Thank you for stalking me babe!"
 missrightright
Joined: 6/30/2016
Msg: 194
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 8/17/2016 8:40:57 PM
I hate being pressed or questioned about my schedule when I meet some one new.

I went on a date with a man on a Sunday, and when he asked when we could get together for our next date, I suggested the following Sunday. His response was to ask me why I couldn't go sooner. As it happens, I didn't have any special plans. I just like to take my time and keep some distance at first.
 Scaretale
Joined: 1/9/2016
Msg: 195
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 8/18/2016 10:30:54 AM

As it happens, I didn't have any special plans. I just like to take my time and keep some distance at first.


Have fun staying single playing those kinds of games. lol
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 196
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 8/18/2016 11:02:40 AM

I hate being pressed or questioned about my schedule when I meet some one new.
As it happens, I didn't have any special plans. I just like to take my time and keep some distance at first.

But say you were like "Wow," about the guy, in compatibility, attraction, being on the same wavelength, and a great comfort-zone. You'd probably want to see him sometime during the week, or perhaps on a weekend (Fri or Sat). Not pushing it for the next lazy Sunday that won't get in the way of anything you'd more prefer.

Are you sure you're that into the guy? I'm not saying you need a crush on him at all, but if you LIKED him, certainly a Thursday early-evening outing would be something you'd want. I think you only feel pressed & questioned about it because you lack interest -- as you said, you had no real plans set before then.

If you were in Vegas, would you bet you two are going to be an item -- a couple in the not so distant future? Or someone you'll be going on out a couple or a few more dates with at the most and part ways? :)
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 197
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 8/18/2016 2:52:54 PM

I didn't have any special plans. I just like to take my time and keep some distance at first.

A second date within a week is typical of most relationships, not a rarity - so what is causing that hesitance?
So, how is that supposed to make the man feel? What are your actions telling them?

The most obvious answer is that they DON'T want another date - and if they decline without a reschedule for a later date, it's pretty much proven that will be the case. Keeping a 'distance' is a bullsh1t excuse, and we know it. It's a passive way to reject someone without being up front about your own feelings. If you don't want to rush into the next date, that's fine - so schedule a date for a few weeks from now or something.

Keeping the next date open-ended and vague sends a message loud and clear that they are NOT committed in any way to keeping the connection going. People that want to see you again will MAKE THE TIME, regardless of how long or complicated it takes to get there. Maybe they are busy for the next two weeks or whatever - but if they are committed to being 'there' at some definite time and place - at least they have shown a willingness to try again. People can be patient for someone as long as they trust in the commitment. If there is no commitment shown, there's no motivation to reciprocate.
 fillntheblanx
Joined: 9/16/2014
Msg: 198
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 8/18/2016 4:29:16 PM
I have had similar problems meeting people on here. The guys pressure for a meet without asking anything about me. Then they text a few times then disappear without a return text to me. A few days or weeks later I get a text asking when we can meet, they were busy, away on a trip. I ignore sure h behavior. I wonder if they are married or serial dating.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 199
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 8/18/2016 8:23:03 PM


I didn't have any special plans. I just like to take my time and keep some distance at first.


Keeping things in once a week, 1st date momentum. Pass.

I wonder when the fvck is the 2nd date if it takes a week or more to meet the 1st time.

The worst is when you meet someone for the first time and they tell you they're going away for a couple of weeks.

She says we can text and message each other while she's gone.

Nah, she can call me when she returns.

Hahahhahaa
 PopCultureGeek
Joined: 11/27/2016
Msg: 200
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/9/2017 5:31:39 PM
Because it's far more important for men to give the impression and vibe that they have a life or they have things going on more than the other way around, I'm guessing it's a sign that he's on his purpose, although people will argue and say that both genders should have a purpose but for men it is non-negotiable
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 201
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/9/2017 7:39:05 PM
I am a single father of a teenage daughter and young adult daughter I am busy.
I am busy worrying about every little prick out there.
I am busy worrying about my oldest daughter who is away at college
I am busy exercising, strengthening, conditioning etc...
I am busy watching hockey games
I am busy going for walks
I am busy reading books
I am busy having a shower
Right now I am busy writing this on forums cause it's more interesting than answering any messages I might have cause they both have the same results. All lead to insanity of the human being as they all keep doing the samethings over again expecting a different result which does not happen. So I guess you could say busy go insane cause obviously I must be I am writing about what I am busy doing.

Now that I am done writing I am go getting busy by making a coffee
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 202
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/9/2017 7:42:55 PM

Why do men act like they are always busy?


Because this whole "searching for a needle in a haystack" thing is very time-consuming.
 jco415
Joined: 1/4/2017
Msg: 203
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/10/2017 12:31:11 PM
I can't answer this right now...too many things to do!
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 204
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/10/2017 2:32:25 PM
why would men have to give some impression of having a life and perhaps other options, more than women? that is just coming from a male point of view.

And if a man is truly interested, not otherwise involved or married, he will not be too busy to make time to see a woman he fancies. Simple.

For me, if I feel the zing or some real interest I am happy to see the guy when he calls again and make another date for when we are both free, whenever that may be. Not necessarily next week or a week later to be playing hard to get. That is game playing and it can come back to bite you.
 Perspektiv
Joined: 2/11/2017
Msg: 205
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/20/2017 11:37:12 AM
Probably self-centered, and have a carousel of other women on the go.

Either that, or playing some weak laws of attraction type games, in going by the law of absence.

Give her very little, make her want you more.

That's high school game, but if the girl has a low self-esteem, she'll probably lap it up.
 Perspektiv
Joined: 2/11/2017
Msg: 206
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/20/2017 11:39:01 AM
If a guy makes no effort to acknowledge you -- you're his runner up prize. He's not into you, and you're "settle" material to him. A practice warm body.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 207
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/20/2017 12:29:43 PM

The guys pressure for a meet without asking anything about me. Then they text a few times then disappear without a return text to me.

In the world of online dating, where it's a 2:1 ratio of women-to-men, guys should opt to meet Sooner rather than Later. Gals talk to more than 1 guy at one time of course, so some guys will do this Too Strongly, as you allude to. Every gal they'd be open to meet -- even "back burner" level of interest -- they'll go after, and opt to meet soon. Sometimes that "back burner" level of a gal is thought of as too-much, and they opt to instead hang with their buddies on Fri/Sat if something real cool's going down. Or obviously, if a better gal came along. You experienced guys going overboard on that.

why would men have to give some impression of having a life and perhaps other options, more than women?

I don't think guys do that to "outdo" women on being busy - lol. I think it's just a lack of interest that both parties do.

And if a man is truly interested, not otherwise involved or married, he will not be too busy to make time to see a woman he fancies. Simple.

I agree. Guys can be told not to be "too easy" -- but one can't really afford to do that much ONLINE where there's far more guys than gals. But to give the impression of having a busy lifestyle, and that he's penciling you in... he may just be trying to give you the impression that he's "got a lot going on in his life", and that no -- he's not an overly eager-for-beaver kinda guy that gals may run into. A "tougher catch". That has it's value, but in the end -- as you point out -- if he's interested, he'll "make" time to meet in the near future, regardless.

if I feel the zing or some real interest I am happy to see the guy when he calls again and make another date for when we are both free

When it comes to Follow Ups, that's where I think things get a little tricky. It's human nature to want someone more who isn't Super Eager & 100% Available right off the bat. If he gets the impression she didn't have any real "zing" -- but may be up for another outing -- it would be best for him not to come on too strong. The gal thinking "Hmm. I wonder if Rob is that interested in me," can turn a lukewarm interest into warmed-up interest to some degree -- making her more available to him, as him on her mind... but that can obviously backfire if he goes too far, Playing "hard to get" instead.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 208
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/21/2017 6:05:47 PM

Keeping things in once a week, 1st date momentum. Pass.

I wonder when the fvck is the 2nd date if it takes a week or more to meet the 1st time.

A week isn't that long. We all have things to do - that's life. Why would anyone think that a week is that big a deal, especially so early on in the process?
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 209
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/21/2017 9:10:54 PM

You need to take the hint. If he's too busy for you, he's probably speaking to other women or seeing other women.


Exactly. In a world full of men chasing women, there aren't too many men who are "too busy" to spend time with a woman they find attractive. A guy being "too busy" says a lot.
 matthew832016
Joined: 11/27/2016
Msg: 210
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/22/2017 12:37:13 AM

I have noticed one thing on this site that really bugs me. I start talking to someone or go out with someone and they act like they are oh so busy all the time. Why do they do this? They act like they want to get to know you and say that but then act like they have no time to date. Then why be on a dating site? Often they will even email a week or two later saying how much they want to get to know me then I never hear from them again. Has this happened to anyone else? What do you do in these cases, do you tell them from the start? I am busy as well but please this is nuts.


This can happen vice versa. It's part of online dating that causes the process to fail. In my case, if a woman disappears and reappears, I simply keep focused on my own life outside of the dating site. It works every time.
 flyover_boy
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 211
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/23/2017 12:12:38 PM
To answer the OP’s, original post, I’m the opposite. I ‘meet you’ online, I want to MEET YOU ASAP. Otherwise, clear you from the deck. That’s for a ‘never met before.’ So, can’t help you there.

As to dating once you’ve already met, that gets trickier. Some of it might be busyness and/or stress. Also, might be lack of physical attraction, but still having an interest in you as a person. Further still, could be the lack of focus on this or any other relationship. The reality is, you can find many women who are doing the same.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 212
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/23/2017 3:50:18 PM
Actually, if we're talking about the first several dates, once a week sounds quite appropriate and even perfect possibly. Don't see how it could always seem like the first date each time. If it does, the dates must not be going very well or the two persons in question just don't match well, because it'd seem to me that you'd be getting to know each other each time and getting closer just like is supposed to happen. If you forgot everything about your date in a week and continue to feel like a stranger each time, something isn't right and it isn't with the time frame itself. This doesn't make sense to someone who thinks that a week is such a long time, but I don't see how it even begins to be a long time at all. Seems really natural...seems like it'd be the right pace to harmonize with the fact that it's the first several dates that we're talking about here. In fact, precisely because they're the first several dates, doing them every other day or so would seem to conflict with what you're trying to do. Even if a person didn't have a busy life and had lots of leisure time during the week, still seems appropriate and productive.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 213
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/23/2017 4:47:11 PM
womaninprogress

I agree, and theother poster has too many conditions, rules and regulations and is much married.. and having problems finding someone that suits..... enough said.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 214
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/23/2017 7:57:19 PM
Life is busy.
Some want more, some want less.
I just want some.
 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 215
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/23/2017 9:03:57 PM
both sexes do this. sometimes the person is genuinely busy but with OLD, I think it's more indicative trying not to look too available. or they're just not interested in you.
 LucilleDixon
Joined: 12/18/2016
Msg: 216
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/23/2017 11:34:11 PM

both sexes do this. sometimes the person is genuinely busy but with OLD, I think it's more indicative trying not to look too available. or they're just not interested in you.


I know that I am guilty of this but it's not because I'm busy with OLD. I go to school and I have a child. Granted I do have spare time but once she's out of school for the day, I don't have too much to dedicate to sitting on the phone or texting back and forth. These men want you to be all on the phone making life plans and I'm just not into that.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 217
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 2/24/2017 12:22:31 AM

sometimes the person is genuinely busy but with OLD, I think it's more indicative trying not to look too available. or they're just not interested in you.

It's not with OLD, though. I'll say it's effectiveness is the Opposite. See, back in the day you could use that line with effectiveness -- no wireless/convenient communication. But now, you can be busy as hell, but We All Know if you like someone, you can reach out. Now, about a delayed, a "Hmm, why is he/she not hitting me up quite so frequently?", etc -- that's understandable. That's where Real "busy" comes in. But it isn't consistent -- it's temporary. We All Know That. We All Do when it's Actually Busy for a time. :)

What frustrates many (me too; I've been on both sides obviously too) -- is that such a line doesn't cut it. Communication is SO easy nowadays even when busy, you Do have opportunity -- if you Like them. "I've been busy," as an excuse of not communicating for a day is saying "I can't text you back. Like, even a couple times, just a couple, in a day. To say anything."

When actually busy -- we all know that's when the rubber meets the road. Do they want to interact at all in a very easy swift manner once in a while within a given day? No? They're not interested, unless there's a reason they literally couldn't. Modern day gives people less room to BS with the "busy signal". :)
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