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 starlight334
Joined: 6/18/2010
Msg: 89
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Why do men act like they are always busy?Page 3 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Let me tell you a joke.....

It happened that a horse was grazing somewhere. While grazing it swallowed a fly.
The fly in the stomach of the horse:
- Let me out !, Let me out !......
In vain, the horse has left.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 90
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/19/2013 11:15:49 PM
Wtf? You are over-thinking it and getting too emotionally invested in something that isn't even real yet.

Pardon if I offend you but it seems like you have too much time on your hands and that's the real problem. If you were slightly just as busy, the thought of it all would not cross your mind because you would be too busy as well. People that are up my buttocks all the time, get the strike right away, it signals that they have too much on their hands which automatically tells me he won't understand the concept of space and time.

I take it exactly how its presented, you show interest, we make plans to meet within a week, then if all goes well, plan a second date, etc. I let them be the ones to contact me when they can and I tell them upfront that I'm always busy, and my schedule changes weekly. I do tell them when I'll be free, I let it be known that the only way to get to know me, is to make plans to see me in person. I don't do the whole phone call crap, sorry you don't get to know me before you know me, all you get is texting at our convenience. If you're gonna waste my time, let us do it over dinner and drinks, at least I get something out of the time I'm choosing to make for you. It's not an entitlement but a woman's time is valuable, so I'm not gonna spend it on a phone, or texting past a few days before we make plans.

It seems you may be dating one person at a time, perhaps dating everybody and anybody (within reason) may solve the dilemma for you. You would be speaking and going out with so many people a week, it wouldn't matter who responds, how often, or when. You always have something going on, so much, you wish they'd cancel...lol. You won't have time to think, much less for a loser that is not showing the same interest you have for them. For me, its about having a great time meeting people, not this whole pressure to make something happen, it will happen overtime with the right person. Go out, meet people, have a ball, and don't stop dating different people until you are in a committed relationship.

You should never put in more work than the other person. Nonchalant gets the work done.

P.s. I work 3 jobs, go to school full-time, etc. I'm very busy and I go on 1-3 dates a week, that's why they need to see me in person (I'm always out), they won't be able to really speak to me otherwise. Prioritize your time and they will too.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 91
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/20/2013 12:19:29 AM
Excellent! Spirited717, that's the way to go.
 Szaszaspasz
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 92
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History
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/20/2013 12:47:33 AM
I am too busy with work and such to date. I like the forums to be entertained and to see how people think.

I'm honest about that if someone messages me, so I don't waste their time. However if someone wants to take a few minutes now and then to chat, I'm glad to do so. I figure there are a lot of guys in the same boat. Once you are done work and have taken care of other tasks and such, a person is just totally out of fuel.
 Bluegold007
Joined: 4/22/2013
Msg: 93
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/20/2013 7:11:03 AM
People are a dime a dozen i swear (rolls eyes) Men over rate their apperance (shakes head) Women under rate their apperance but seem to think every man in the world is interested in them or only wants "Fun" Get over it people! If someone isn't into you, then they are not into you.
 ruiningblueearth
Joined: 8/4/2012
Msg: 94
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/22/2013 11:13:06 PM
Everyone has pretty much covered the gamut here but:

If a guy mentions that he is busy, it means you should be busy too.

It doesn't matter what exactly he's doing, as 99% of them have the time to talk to you, it's just that 99% of them are busy doing other things like pooping or making a sandwich. Playing on facebook.

If a guy mentions he's busy, just stop talking to him.
 ruiningblueearth
Joined: 8/4/2012
Msg: 95
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/22/2013 11:28:55 PM
They key to all this is assuming someone wants to message you, which in most cases they don't.

If they were truly interested in pof they'd use it regularly and on their phone.
 ruiningblueearth
Joined: 8/4/2012
Msg: 96
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/23/2013 12:47:09 AM
The majority of guys here probably want sex and if you don't fit into that boat they will stop responding. If they sincerely like you then they will bother to keep messaging you onwards. :)

I'm busy has become an easy throw away line to avoid honesty.

I'm not sure why guys here (and women) apparently can't be upfront and honest. If you try and point out that they aren't being upfront or honest they flip (the fxck) out.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 97
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/23/2013 7:54:59 AM
From what I've been able to gather reading the posts of others, I am probably in the minority on this. No matter how interested I might be in someone I've recently met, I am not going to be in constant contact with them. I don't understand how people can go from complete strangers to being in one anothers' company 24/7. I have always believed in a much more gradual approach. I also value my privacy, so I'm not going to share what I do with my time. Once a person has gained my trust I will share more, but not at first.

If this doesn't sit well with someone, I have learned that we are not a match.
 Bluegold007
Joined: 4/22/2013
Msg: 98
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/23/2013 8:08:38 AM
Well, why are women so flaky and undescisive?
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 99
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/25/2013 11:00:20 AM
Some of these things may have been mentioned by others. But I didn't read all of the other posts on this thread. This list can apply to both genders.

1. They aren't interested and are looking for an ego boost or a way to pass time when they are bored.
2. They are married or in a relationship.
3. They were dishonest about something in their profile.
4. You are their backup plan in case it doesn't work out with another person.
5. They got "cold feet" about internet dating.
6. They actually are busy with other things going on in their life.
 fiametta
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 100
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/25/2013 6:03:09 PM
I personally am very busy too. I am a single mom and I have a busy career. And some guys on here get mad and emotional when I don't respond to them right away. I agree with the other replies, that dating should be like trying a fine wine, not going to a fast food place. Sometimes I want to get to know someone first. Sometimes, I have talked to men, and certain details come out, allowing me to research them, and I find out they have warrants or worse. So for me talking to someone first for a while is not only safe but practical, and allows me to weed out the ones who do not have my best interests. Also, with men, the more you do not press and let them pursue, the more they want you. So just go with the flow. It will happen. And if it doesn't right away just be patient.
 fiametta
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 101
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/25/2013 6:07:00 PM
Never settle for less than what you think you are worth. If a man does not keep a date, then he is not worthy. Mr. Right will be understanding and will make time.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 102
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/25/2013 6:24:13 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Amen to that! - words to live by.
 BlueEyedBlon3000
Joined: 3/15/2013
Msg: 103
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/26/2013 1:41:07 PM
you are upset because you expect consistency from the guy and when he gives you something else (random unexpected calls and dates ) it throws you of balance. Not ALL men like this. It is up to you to weed out the types you are not happy with.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 104
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/26/2013 3:09:39 PM

Never settle for less than what you think you are worth.


The problem with that is too many people have huge egos and lack humility, thinking they are worth more than they actually are.


Mr. Right will be understanding and will make time.


Does Mr. Right also have to understanding when a woman does not keep at date?
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 105
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/26/2013 4:21:59 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I don't care if you are a man or woman......if you can't keep a date, let the other party know instead of being a NO SHOW.

There is NO excuse for poor manners and lack of courtesy.

Does that answer your question?
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 106
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/26/2013 7:06:09 PM
Didn't read any of the posts but the title of this thread is simple to answer, men are not interested in the woman.
 billingsmason
Joined: 2/3/2012
Msg: 107
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/26/2013 8:58:12 PM
oh I don't know..^

I AM busy, and take time out of work and life to meet and date.
That means if there's a bit a flakiness or something that I know is going to be a deal breaker for me- I end things quick or don't bother getting them started. Some women are floored that if they cancel on me for some trivial thing, I don't want to try again. Like I just sent people home early and stopped progress on a job, or stopped billing to go meet and they had to run an errand? Ok great, not worth my time to try again.

On the other hand, I have skipped jobs that could have been easy money just to honor a commitment, and am happy to do that. Is a day wandering around town talking, window shopping and a chance worth 2700$... maybe. Recently it was, without a doubt.
 QT3.18
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 108
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/26/2013 9:41:41 PM
I'm going to come to the defence of the men here, and say that "busy" is relative, and may not always mean that he is not interested, and it's not always an act. He may be legitimately busy. I have had times in my life where I was frantic with activity, and things to do, and with a demanding job, sometimes, it is almost impossible to see someone all the time. I have also dated men like this as well. It's not for me to begrudge him for "taking care of business". If I am in a really busy time (Im trying not to be so much anymore), then I try to make up for it when I can, or I manage to keep in touch somehow, whether it be a quick call or a text. Or, if he is the one who is busy, I back off and let him come to me when he has a moment.

Not all men think and operate with sinister motives, or have lack of interest when they are busy. Life happens.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 109
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/27/2013 6:54:09 AM
This thread is about men that don't email back for a week or two after initial contact on a dating site and the thread also says the guy after initial contact is never heard of again in other cases. That is saying loud and clear the guy is not interested. Everyone is busy, that was not the point of this thread! Posters are taking this thread and going all over the map with the definition of "busy" when it had nothing to do with that.
 SunForSome
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 110
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/27/2013 12:40:28 PM
If someone is "acting" like they are always busy or they are pretending that they are busy when in reality they aren't all too busy...the intention is to create distance. The reason why they do this might be because: 1) they aren't interested in you for any number of reasons and this is their way of doing a slow fade-out, 2) it could be a defense mechanism because they don't want to get hurt and they aren't sure where you stand. Nobody likes to come off as needy and clingy. Some people will step back because they don't want to feel vulnerable and they don't want to rush into something serious right away or they don't want you to get overly serious. Or... 3) it is just some form of cat and mouse game-paying where they already know that you are interested in them and they just want to see if they can get you to chase them. So, it's a way to get an ego boost.

If I suspect that someone is doing the slow fade-out or playing games with me: I usually tell them: "it was nice getting to know you" and then I wish them good luck in finding the right person. If someone comes back and says... "Oh no. You've got me all wrong," then I try to be clear about my interest on my end; however, from that point on I just match distance with distance. So, if someone wants an ego boost from me they are going to have to see me
 Anonymous..1
Joined: 4/22/2013
Msg: 111
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/27/2013 8:22:00 PM
Meeting someone does not mean there will be that chemistry, they might like you but isn't what they are looking for yet. I have met a few guys that in person they were nice but just didn't have that connection to continue. Could be that. It is hard meeting people in general.
A guy that is really feeling a chemistry will not be busy all the time.
Also guys feel if the woman is too interested they will get all possessive when they aren't sure yet.
It's all very complicated with people.
I would say, if he is too busy, you should be too busy and date others. If you are always too available that causes a guy to pull away same for women.
 onlythegooddieyoung13
Joined: 11/18/2013
Msg: 112
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 11/27/2013 12:01:23 PM
If they are too busy to date, then why are they on a dating site?! That pisses me off more than anything I've ever experience on here. Guys, if you just want to find a girl to hook up with every few weeks, then JUST SAY THAT, and you'll find someone who wants the same.
 DomLS1
Joined: 12/18/2009
Msg: 113
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 11/27/2013 12:27:18 PM
It's all part of the game. Would you rather a guy smother you with messages/texts every minute of the day? Probably not.. as most girls get creeped out by guys who don't give them space. I understand a week seems like a long time, but it keeps you interested (obviously you're still interested in some of these guys otherwise you wouldn't have posted this). It seems dumb yes, but it's just a strategy. If they were not interested at all in you, they wouldn't msg/text you back. It's a crappy process of the "getting to know each other phase" so one side of the board doesn't get cold feet because the other is being too close or moving too fast.
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