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 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 164
Why do men act like they are always busy?Page 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

His frustration is his problem if you offered an alternative. I personally wouldn't be frustrated, but I might have suggested that we stay in touch and try to plan something the following week when more time was available. To each their own.

My guess was the frustration would be because rather than keep in touch for the following week, I'd suggest something a week or two weeks away (as in I would tell him on the 3rd of a month "sorry...this weekend isn't good but I have some time on the 18th or the 22nd") if he insisted it be a long get together - something I discouraged anyway as it's not the best plan for two complete strangers who aren't sure of attraction being a factor.

I also don't do a lot of confirming once something is set - if I say I'll be there at 6 PM on a Thursday night in two weeks, I'm there unless you hear otherwise. I'm this way with business, friends, everything.

Perhaps it didn't seem like I'd actually stick to those plans? There was no way they could assume that outside of someone they had dealt with in the past and had a bad experience with.
 Verissa
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 165
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 3/10/2014 3:50:44 PM
There are too many options and people want to try a little of everything. I've said this before on other threads, it's sad that some don't take the time to explore options one at a time, but that is part of on line dating I suppose. This is why I married someone I had known for some time, most of my life in fact. And even there, when other options present themselves people are tempted and things spiral out of control. I long for the days when people had real morals and values. I'd like to think that I still have those, however my faith in humanity is dwindling with every passing day, being single again sucks.
 margareta08
Joined: 2/28/2014
Msg: 166
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 3/10/2014 10:16:24 PM
I think that it is just cyberspace and dating sites that attract the less than desirable. I dont think humanity has changed, it is that behind a computer screen people show their true colours perhaps. It is risky to meet anyone that you dont know their backgrounds, who they really are and that is why I dont bother with dating sites. Rather be single or let it happen naturally. People have access to many hundreds of potentials online and feel they have a smorgasbord to choose from,well some may do, but most dont!!
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 167
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 3/11/2014 6:08:40 PM
Hey, I don't have any time to write anything to this thread. Other than what I'm writing right now. I'm too busy. I keep thinking that I'll get around to it at another time. Eventually. But I'm not just busy right now, but I'm always busy. I'm just busy busy busy. Always. Aw shucks. Dag nab it.
 Verissa
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 168
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 3/11/2014 10:52:13 PM
Lol, drinkthesunwithmyface!

Sometimes they're not busy. They just don't want to talk to some people.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 169
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 3/29/2014 11:13:47 PM

A man who is always busy, is not interested.

A man who is interested, is not always busy.


I think I'd go with that from LiliMarleen.

There *are* times when I could be busy... obviously being at work would be one, or if I was doing something that needed to be done on a schedule (say mowing the lawn and it's getting dark, "I'll call back in an hour") because I want to finish, doing car work and in grease up to my armpits when they call, etc. But it wouldn't be "all the time".

Heck, there are times I might have to cancel a date, if something came up at work right at the end of the day that couldn't wait (I'm in IT, so "server crash/down" and it's my job to be there until it's back up ok) - but I'd apologize and reschedule (and it is generally a rare event).

I mean, other than for a job (for obvious reasons of needing money to live... and date), if I'm *that* busy that I'm "always" busy, I probably don't have time to be dating.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 170
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 3/30/2014 8:19:03 AM
^^^Indigo

True. There is no better way to connect with another individual than to make a comment or inquire about some little thing they have said or written. It creates an intimacy. It's not the 'big stuff' as in 'what do you do for a living'. Instead ask a man how his son did in the Little League game he brought up, etc. I mentioned in my profile I had a cat, liked to read...he asked if I ever read with my cat curled up on my lap and what type book would I be reading. So easy...some people get it and some either don't or are no able, even in writing, to open up. It takes a minute to write a thought felt message.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 171
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 3/30/2014 12:28:20 PM
This topic is a two way street. Women act as if busy themselves. It isn't just men.
 that_ol_lady
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 172
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 4/2/2014 6:09:59 PM
Oldest trick in the book to blow off a woman/women he may not be interested in at that certain time..but as soon as the main woman they were really so busy with dumps them or they get bored with her suddenly they pop back up with Ooooo Ive been thinking about you an ive just been so busy I had lost your number/email ive been out of town,,i died an came back an now im just wondering if we can pick it back up from where we left off..SMH "rolls eyes"
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 173
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 4/2/2014 6:55:33 PM
I don't ACT like I am always busy, I AM always busy.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 174
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 4/3/2014 7:26:45 AM

You are only as busy as you want to be.

Exactly. Why wouldn't you want to have something going on in your life?

If someone is always busy then they should really look to see if they have the time it takes to start or maintain a relationship.
Nobody likes feeling they are constantly overlooked by someones lifestyle.
Too busy generally means unavailable most the time .
Too busy also makes me wonder why people bother to start a relationship..sex?

Agreed that sometimes dating is something a person doesn't have time for - and if so they should put it aside and not continue trying to make it fit.

Someone feeling overlooked by another person's schedule (or lack of it) may not have the same level of business in their lives. It may be a mismatch. I know when I feel that way it's because I don't have enough to do. So I work on that.

I agree that it's odd that someone would want a relationship if they have a lot going on. It's strange to me they'd have time to notice they are single. And yes, sex could be it - but that's not something you need to be in a relationship to find.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 175
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 4/5/2014 6:59:36 AM
Granted, the older I get, the more easily I get annoyed; but the whole 'busy' thing really irritates me. About 10 years ago, I was working 2 jobs (1 full time, and another about 20 to 30 hours per week=60 to 70 hours per week), and I met a woman who managed a retail store (about 40 to 50 hours per week). Now, back then, 1 of my jobs was 11pm to 7am AND she had a 5 year-old son. I am not saying that it was easy, but not only did we date, we ended up moving in together, and for me, it was the greatest relationship that I have ever been in. The relationship did not last for other reasons, but I would venture to say (would bet money on it) that if asked today, she would also rank it as either the best, or in the top 3 relationships of her life.

I think people just like to breathe their own exhaust, and they feel better to make others think that they are so "important" because they're oh, soooooooooooooo busy. There are always exceptions, however for the most part, unless someone is an entrepreneur and/or is a single parent of several very young children, almost nobody is that damned "busy" consistently.

The way I see it, it's like all of these people who cannot function without their cell phones. I have overheard A LOT of cell phone conversations in my life, and yet I CANNOT THINK OF A SINGLE ONE, that sounded like something that just could not have waited. It's NEVER something like, "Oh my God, if we don't keep that heart cold and get it to Denver by noon, the patient will die." NOR have I ever heard anything like, "OMG, it's down to 35! Dump all the stock! Dump it quick! I've lost half my net worth!" It's almost ALWAYS some nonsense like, "The jelly is in the cabinet above the stove." or "Yeah, well that's just how Linda is. She thinks the world revolves around her. Blah, blah, blah."

"Busy" my aunt Fanny.
 Ilovechristmas25
Joined: 1/21/2014
Msg: 176
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 4/5/2014 9:49:53 AM
Nikon:

I 100% agree with you. Nobody is that important or indispensable that they can't find time. For 6 1/2 years I worked 60-70 hours a week and had time to occasionally even meet friends. At that time I wouldn't have never considered a relationship because I was too busy and it wouldn't have been fair to not have enough time that relationship needs to have to get a good solid new foundation built. Instead of lying, both men and women have to grow some kind of nerve and bluntly tell someone from the very beginning that they are not interested.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 177
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 4/5/2014 10:59:50 AM
EXACTLY Christmas!

Even right now, I work 75 hours per week, every week. I am not a kid. It's a case of the old cliché, "I feel better now, and am in better shape than I was when I was 25 years old."

My sisters disagree with me, but I know that I can make the time for a very high quality relationship. First of all, I have done it (since the first example that I posted). I must have been pretty good at it, because she (this example I am about to give), e-mailed me about a year and a half after we broke up. She initiated the breakup. Yet, 18 months later, was e-mailing to, "see what I was up to?" and asking in the e-mail, 'if I was married?'

In addition to working 75 hours per week, I also work out 4 days per week, so my stamina is well above average. My Friday nights are free, all day Saturday is free, and my Sunday mornings are free until the early afternoon. My point is......................even with this schedule, I am at an age where I am not interested in a woman who is under the age of 35, so we are not teenagers who "need" to see each other every day.

A woman that I would be interested in, most likely will have a child or children, she will have friends, interests and hobbies, not to mention the errands of life (paying bills, laundry, housekeeping, etc. etc.), so therefore, she will have more than enough to occupy her time while I am working. I have no problem talking on the phone several times per week, however, as an adult, I don't see the "need" to see a bf/gf more than on the weekends (of course, this is assuming that both parties have their weekends off from work). Logically, this gives a woman ALL week to focus on and spend quality time with, her child(ren).

If I can work 2 full-time jobs (and work out 4x per week), and still have time to be part of a very high quality relationship, then I have an extremely difficult time believing that a non-Captain of Industry/Tycoon/Mogul type person, "doesn't have time". Funny how even virtually all of the CEO's of the Fortune 500 are married. These ultra busy, ultra competitive, people in extremely demanding professions found the time to cultivate a relationship; yet Brenda who works a Customer Service job and has 2 kids, is "too busy". Karen who works 40 hours per week at the bank, has a child and takes 2 online courses, is "too busy". And, yes, I know that men claim the, "too busy" nonsense as well. I call B.S.

This is MY story and I'm sticking with it.
 Sonic98
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 178
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/2/2014 1:57:03 PM
I actually think women act that way much more often than us. At least guys with a busy schedule with generally give you an explanation of what is keeping them busy and when their most availability is. We don't generally have that "I'll get around to you when I get around to you mentality
 Sonic98
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 179
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/2/2014 2:01:03 PM
I also think another difference is that men who are busy a lot do try to find little time here and there in their schedule. A lot of women are impatient. They assume if you don't have a lot of time to communicate and hang out, something must be going on. But I do think men are more likely to at least consider that the other person would like to see them. Unless a woman is just really, really interested, she's not going to break her neck to move things around in her schedule.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 180
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/3/2014 9:24:00 AM

I actually think women act that way much more often than us. At least guys with a busy schedule with generally give you an explanation of what is keeping them busy and when their most availability is. We don't generally have that "I'll get around to you when I get around to you mentality


I'm willing to say they do it more. I lost count of how many times I've clearly just been blown off. And it's just like the other guy said, they're "busy" but all over facebook, constantly posting pictures of them being out partying or at a club, putting up the popular "I'm bored, who wants to hang out" post... Yet can never seem to find the 10 seconds to answer a simple text or phone call.

I've said it a few times in here, women, you are NOT clever. It's always the same exact story, you're not too busy, you just don't want to make any time for us.

And he's right, guys will typically actually explain their being busy. We'll tell you our work schedule, we'll even actually tell you that we just didn't feel like talking to anyone that night.

Some of us do use the "I'm busy (but you don't know I'm really not)" excuse, but it's more common for men to be more upfront. And it's EXTREMELY COMMON for women to be convinced that that's a magical line that solves everything, meanwhile almost every guy knows that almost every time it's a lie.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 181
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/3/2014 1:28:32 PM

I don't see why I should entertain a woman 24 hours a day.

I don't either. I never understood women who wanted to be with a guy all day every day - among other things it means she's got nothing going on. Ick.

I'm willing to say they do it more. I lost count of how many times I've clearly just been blown off. And it's just like the other guy said, they're "busy" but all over facebook, constantly posting pictures of them being out partying or at a club, putting up the popular "I'm bored, who wants to hang out" post... Yet can never seem to find the 10 seconds to answer a simple text or phone call.

I've said it a few times in here, women, you are NOT clever. It's always the same exact story, you're not too busy, you just don't want to make any time for us.

While I am not a clingy or emotional person, I will still say that if there's any real interest - this won't happen. This is typical of a woman who's keeping you around to entertain herself, or someone who's too immature to get what dating is about. No one should have to make constant time for someone they are dating, but none at all is disinterest, plain and simple. These women aren't trying to be clever - they likely don't care if you walk away.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 182
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/3/2014 3:14:44 PM
I have no opinion on which gender does this more since I don't date men...I lack the perspective needed for that.

What I do know is that I have learned this from dating women - People ALWAYS make time for the things they really want.

Anytime you hear "I'm too busy" just stick the words "...for you" at the end of it and move along.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 183
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/3/2014 3:43:56 PM
There is a direct link to the attractiveness of a person's profile pictures and/or how they look in person and how busy a person is. Physical attraction equals not being too busy, and no physical attraction equals being too busy-like AddHonomyn said: add "for you". Both genders do this.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 184
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/3/2014 3:54:45 PM

What I do know is that I have learned this from dating women - People ALWAYS make time for the things they really want.


Exactly.
I have always told my daughter and her friends the same thing my grandmother told me 'if he really likes you then you don't have to call him constantly or ever wonder what he's doing, because he'll be right there.'
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 185
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/4/2014 12:11:34 AM
He is to busy, FOR YOU.


A man who is always busy, is not interested.

A man who is interested, is not always busy.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


People ALWAYS make time for the things they really want.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 186
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/4/2014 12:12:28 AM

While I am not a clingy or emotional person, I will still say that if there's any real interest - this won't happen.


Exactly. When that happens, it's not that she's too busy to answer, she just doesn't want the time for me.

Times like that, honesty really is the best way to go, instead of the busy excuse. Just tell us you're not interested... Cuz something you have to have noticed about me by now, cuz we've gone back and forth in a few threads, is that I don't know when to just shut up. Well I do, I know it's a terrible idea to reply to a post, or keep talking if it's in person. Like one of the other threads, me and that girl are clearly fighting with each other about 2 separate things, but like an idiot, I responded. When it comes to being too busy to send a text with the one word answer of yes or no, I know it's a lie, I'll call her out on it, even if I didn't accidentally stumble onto her night on facebook, and have absolutely nothing to back up my claim, and then it turns into a big mess. While I share blame in the fight that comes from it, it's something that would have easily been avoided by just not lying.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 187
Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 5/4/2014 6:11:05 PM
I'll tell you one theory why. There are still men and women self proclaimed 'relationship experts' that are quick to dismiss someone for being too available and accessible. These same people might think you're desperate for a relationship because god forbid, you make all this time for them and try to be attentive, because god forbid again, you think you feel a spark with them.

And finally, these SAME people that are so connected in their own lives will gaslight you and tell you that you need find your happiness before meeting someone. How sad it is to be vulnerable, wear your heart on your sleeve and get told that. The irony is that I was happy before I met one of these twisted 'connected' people. I only felt happier in their presence. Pressing the 'reset' button again svcks.

So, there you have it. One of the main reasons I believe people put on this 'emotionally unavailable' and busy acts is to appear challenging and aloof to someone.

It doesn't sound fair or decent to behave this way, but as you can see from my rant above, it may be why some are acting busy and not actually busy.
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 188
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Why do men act like they are always busy?
Posted: 8/16/2016 4:22:44 PM
Agree 648% with the person who mentioned to add, "for you" whenever someone talks about how busy they are.

Shortly after my last post to this forum 2 years ago, I went through a period of about 4 months, where I was working 35 hours per week (every week) at one job, 25 hours per week (every week....................doing overnights) at another job, taking a 3 hour class once per week, working out 4 days per week, AND studying for a State exam for that class.

I was not dating anyone at the time however, even with ALL of that going on, if someone who rang my bell had crossed my path, I would have "made it happen".

In a dating context, I don't know anything about the frequency that men claim to be "busy", but I personally know at least 5 women who watch a damn lot of TV and/or spend a lot of time staring into their phones, like it contains all the answers to the universe, i.e. "doing nothing", but will swear to anyone who will listen, that they are, "super busy".

Truth be told, I get equally annoyed by hearing how "busy" someone is, regardless or whether it's a man, woman, relative, etc.

Busy doing what? Curing cancer? Brokering peace in the Middle East? Stem cell research? GTFOHwTBS!
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