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 Christian seeks Christian
Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 81
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?Page 2 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
I was told by a very wise and caring man, that 50% of all males do not like females as friends, except to use them for sex.
I personally have seen this number to be accurate, 50% divorce rates etc.
So only 50% of males do not want a female to be friends with.
That means 50% of males do like females and 50% of males can be your friend, if you are seeking a friends only relationship.
The guys who only want sex and not friendship, you know then those males are from the 50% of males that do not like females as friends, they just want to use a female for sex, and are not interested in being a friend to a female.
Friendship first is a good way to weed out the 50% of men who like females from the 50% of men who just want to use a female for sex. and don't really care for females as friends or partners.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 82
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/16/2007 7:19:51 AM

When a man tells me he is incapable of being a friend. That's both us that has laid it out on the table.
Winter Sparkle, I only find that is the case when the woman and the man do not already get on as friends. If you're having a laugh with someone, and enjoying yourself, you forget about the sex. I have seen it many times with the "so-called" tomboys, who still have boyfriends, but can play pool with the guys.

I have also seen the women who all the guys are "friendly" with, and take her with them to clubs. Yet each guy takes her out, in his turn, and then, when all are done with her, suddenly, they all stop hanging out with her.

You can comfortably date:
1) men who you don't hang out with, as long as they are NOT friendly with any of the guys you hang out with.
2) men who you hang out with, or are friends with them, as long as you've dated them but not slept with them, until you are SURE that it is a relationship.

But get used by one, and they'll think you'll let them all use you.
 prof48
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 92
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/16/2007 11:31:29 PM
That was the point there. Nothing insulting about that

Actually there's a lot insulting about that. perhaps the most insulting is that a woman who believes that will always treat men as meat or a lacivious whore and never create, or permit, opportunities for real friendship. People tend to get what they are looking for.
 HereN916
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 95
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/17/2007 12:40:07 AM
[/Just because the connection is absent doesn't mean I won't value them as a friend, or no one would have any friends...male or female. ]

I totally agree with the above statement !
 like2hike
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 99
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/20/2007 5:55:00 PM
Let's see, where to start... I have a couple female friends who are just friends - never seen 'em neked. Now, having said that, I'd have to be gay if I claimed I didn't want to see them naked. But I am cool with not seeing them naked. And most importantly, I'd never want to have a full on relationship with either. I know too much about them! LOL

I think the best benefit of a opposite sex friend is the perspectives you can get from them. Once I'm in a committed relationship, however, my focus is my girl - not a female friend. Respect the one you're with! One of my female friends told me "I always know when you're dating someone - I never hear from you." LOL
 MB58SC
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 100
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/21/2007 4:01:46 AM
Once the flood gates open and you allow yourself into that persons world in a romantic context that is where it all ends. If you fall for them, and If they send all the right signals [from your perspective] and you decide to make your move only to find out they aren't interested [i.e. You're rejected], remaining friends with them is a swift sharp kick to the balls every single time you talk to them, hear about them, see them, even worse -- when they start dating someone else.

That's just one guy's perspective. I do believe men and women can be friends, but I don't believe it's healthy for one or the other to stay friends once they've fallen for the other, especially if the other flat out said no.

That's just being cruel to yourself to stick around, unless you can somehow emotionally detach. If you manage to do that, you're a god damn super hero, because I am the king of detachment and even I couldn't do it. I protect myself. I rarely let myself connect to anyone unless I'm certain it will be reciprocated, but like I said, sometimes you have to take risks, and sometimes you can do your best and still lose.
 Tonyrocks
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 113
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/23/2007 4:55:47 AM
They want to have some form of hold on you in case who ever she ends up doesnt work out, to a women its all about options. we only need one or two pairs of shoes but a women likes to have about 20 pairs if they could, theres an old say that a smart women is like a monkey they'll never let go of one branch until they get a grip on the next. If she tells you she wants to be friends then you may get that phone call a year later of her asking to hang out with her and have a coffee, before you know your both girlfriend and boyfriend shes happy and your never the wiser.
 chauntie
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 115
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/23/2007 5:58:29 AM
hmmmmm, k if i was to hook up with a guy on here the only reason why i'd like to keep in touch is basicially so i can have a piece of @#$ for a while, another reason is so theres no hard feelings, butt basicially its the first reason on here is why i'd still like to stay *friends* i know its a lil harsh butt guys do it to. later
 TheStranger75
Joined: 4/17/2007
Msg: 120
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/23/2007 3:03:29 PM
There is no incentive for a guy to be friends with a woman. I make it very clear with women from the get go that if they're only interested in being friends, then I have no interest in them. I'm not one of these guys who will wait around in the wings pretending to be a friend when all they really want is sex. I'm honest and upfront from the beginning about what I want, and why I'm talking to them.

I don't need a friend, I have plenty of friends already. I don't need an activity partner or someone to hang out with. A woman that only wants to be friends is like a guy who only wants sex. They both are only looking for a part of a relationship, and not the whole thing. The difference is that if a guy has sex with you, there is a possibility that a relationship could still be there. But once a woman puts you in the friend zone, that's it, you're never going to be anything more than a friend.
 indianaman
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 123
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/24/2007 1:42:58 PM
I once went out with a woman who answered my newspaper ad. I thought our first date went fine. After the date I sent her flowers and but when I called her she gave me the "friends" line.

So I called her later as a "friend" and before I had the chance to tell her I was NOT asking her for another date she became angry and threw a temper tantrum over the phone and told me never to call her again! Months later I ran into her at a singles event and she acted polite like nothing had happened. Weird, huh?
 eb3267
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 124
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/26/2007 3:40:48 PM
Sorry all but I had to add to this after reading what "some" men had stated..

Women are not like men.. We can like you and be friends without wanting to screw your brains out.. I know that may be hard to fathom for "some" men but it is true.. .oO(I know it's a mind blower, to "some of you" because you are sooo perfect that there is no way on God's Green Earth that we can resist the temptaion !! )Ppppfffftttt..

We unlike "you few" don't have a d*ck to think with, so we can only use our brains !!

.oO( This is why we can also have Gay Men as friends, like hello, there is no chance in screwing them, now is there ??)

Sorry to all the Real Men who have read this, it was NOT aimed at you !!
Ok I'm off my soap box now...
 thatgirl_next_door
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 128
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/26/2007 9:01:49 PM
Different imperatives at a very basic biological level... men are programmed to seek out partners for procreation and women are programmed to develop a nurturing environment. It's that simple people - a basic expression of mammalian programming.

Either that or women want it too and we don't have to worry about it being obvious - no tents to pitch. HAHAHA!

 MOAB4U
Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 129
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/26/2007 9:39:41 PM
sometimes people for whatever reasons are not ready to fully give of themselves properly to form a lasting , gratifying , respecting and mutually agreeable relationship to the satisfaction of their mate or themselves. Therefore , the option is friendship.

Why bash and degrade friendship. It permits for a mutually supportive interaction in the journey of life. Perhaps timing does not permit a 'relationship' but to debase and insult the category of friendship is petulant, pedestrian , contemptable and quite shallow and immature .

Some people you meet today may be all that and more and quite sexually alluring. If they say wish you for a friend you should feel complimented afterall did they suddenly appear like an ' enemy' because a sexual relationship was not to be in your favor?

Seriously, if the object of your desire wants to maintain friendship don't demean and degrade to appease your failed personal growth and esteem issues.

Lovers come and go and some leave you with an STD and thus the potential is a finality/caput but friendships you never know when the potential might be a rewarding awakening of mutual desire .
 indianaman
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 131
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/27/2007 4:24:28 PM
I know this is hardly "late breaking news" but some women use the "friends" line because they don't have the courage to say "I don't want to see you again." They have have been conditioned by their family, society and/or the media that it's better to "let the man down easy" than to be blunt and honest. Some women, unlike men, tend to avoid confrontations, and telling a man "I'm not interested" is too much of a confrontion than they want to deal with. So they're really just letting THEMSELVES "down easy."
 angelheart3
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 133
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/27/2007 6:11:00 PM

Men have the capacity to want to be just friends.


Absolutely they do. Ironically, considering that I am a woman, I relate better with men on a friendship level than I do with most women. And...IME, men are much more respectful of boundaries than women. I have found in my experience that females tend to be intimidated that I actually use my brain, whereas my male friends are more appreciative of the fact that I have one. Females, IME, also tend to be more engaged in gossip and back-biting - two behaviors I have zero tolerance and zero patience for.

Now referring back to male friendships in the truest definition of friend, it is my belief that the most successful of relationships actually begin with that kind of friendship at the foundation. Yet the friendship that evolves into a more serious relationship is one that transcends beyond the scope of friendship into a more spiritual plane. Just thought I'd throw that in for good measure.

 indianaman
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 134
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/27/2007 6:28:01 PM
Supposedly women are much more critical of each other's looks than men are critical of women's looks. Let's be honest, heterosexual men don't have much fashion sense. Women's fashions please other women more than they do men. Women often criricize other women for being "fat" so they go on diets. But very few men find a skinny woman built like a 12 year old boy very sexy!
 Tonyrocks
Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 136
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/28/2007 8:17:05 AM
Look all Im saying is I had a friend thats a girl for the last 15 years and she comes and goes every few years (2 or 3) basically anytime I get myself into a real relationship she would come along and try ruffling my feathers quoting "you promised we would always be friends" then eventually she ends up in bed with me and then when I call off my relatioship with my girlfriends she ends up splitting for about another 2 or 3 years. Finally I caought on to her BS after a 2 when she called up to check on me I told her I dont want to be friends with ther anymore and she took it personal and that was last time I spoke to her and seen her.............well she does call now and again for us to meet up for a cup of coffee. dont fall for that crap
 prof48
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 137
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 7/30/2007 3:50:30 PM

Generally I suppose that statement is true. Lets face it, most guys are ruled by that thing in their pants. God gave man a brain and an appendage but not enough blood to work both at the same time!

Girls on the otherhand are not restricted by such things and are able to use their brain a lot more as a result.


Are we to assume that you think that once a month, when they're losing blood, women can't think? Somehow your logic eludes me. No doubt it is that blood shortage I have. lol.
 mr badwrench
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 143
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:04:54 PM
Ive always had female friends and some of them, Im sure I am much more interested in them than they are in me. Thats ok as long as they are not offended by the fact that I find them attractive. Ive met a few women that were attracted to me and I was able to be friends with them with no problems. I learn allot about myself through how other people view me and what qualities other people find attractive in me.
Its my opinion that men are much more likely to stab a friend in the back over the opposite sex.
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 154
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 1/29/2008 11:35:17 PM
That's not true. Women also have problems being just friends with guys that they are attracted to.
 AManofAdventure
Joined: 12/6/2007
Msg: 159
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 2/1/2008 9:26:20 PM
Remember, it wasn't John's bowling partner that broke up the Beatles.

 Captain Incognito
Joined: 1/31/2008
Msg: 161
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 2/4/2008 8:34:38 AM
I know for me, I have lots of women friends that I find attractive, but that's not why I'm their friend. Not saying I would turn it away if things went that direction. I would rather not loose the friendship if it came down to that.
 rebelinlex
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 164
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/26/2008 12:52:44 AM

Ok guys...here's the deal. If you are in the category of "friend" we are not physically attracted to you. We have found something in you that is a turn off...but not enough to discount you as a friend. The fact that you are a friend does mean, however, that should that thing that we found in you to discount you as "lover" is fixed....you can then move up the ladder to "lover".

damn, how many different ways can a man or woman say guy friends are a****in a jar, put on the shelf for future reference, if need be? seems all the posts start out......no, heres how it is, but say the same thing afterwards....to make it fair, use the pay as you go system... you want a guy friend, but hes not "lover" material... ok, fine... at 6am, when your tire is flat, and your ***hole boyfriend wont help you, be at the ready to give it up, before the tire is changed. that way you dont get all greasy, you get your tired changed, and your ***hole boyfriend dont have to get out of bed to help his lover. i personally dont operate that way, and i have proof from someone on here of that, but the way this thread was going, and some of the thoughts behind the topic, i felt that needed to be said for those that have a "guy friend mechanic", "a guy friend plumber", a guy friend electrican", etc... i think you get the point...
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