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 hilltop70
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 165
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?Page 3 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
having been a "professional friend" through most of my life i agree with the sentiment that there is some hidden agenda and also if you are a "friend" why is there a need to comment on my dating habits if u are afriend unless u hada hidden agenda.
 happyboi
Joined: 12/8/2006
Msg: 168
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/26/2008 7:38:49 PM
I have gotten to the point, of turning down, "just friends". I am a nice enough guy that I seem to have gotten saddled with a LOT of friends... yet, no relationship, which is ultimately what I want. I have been cutting the friends ties, since they end up taking more of my time than I want. Not to mention, if I ever DO find a woman, I will probably just drift away, anyhow.
 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 171
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/27/2008 2:37:49 PM
It's convenient and economical to call a gullible guy friend when they need help moving or a ride somewhere, or maybe a free dinner or movie.
 StrangerInTheHouse
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 175
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 3/28/2008 9:57:27 AM
I think women are more practical when it comes to relationships, but they also love to be admired...

they're kind of like cats. If you admire them, they'll let you do alot of things... they'll even let you feed them, but DON'T PICK THEM UP!!!!



Guys may like to hang around with them if they think they have a chance... or maybe even after they understand the way things are, they'll keep hanging around just because they like the way things are... but it gets old fast unless there's something else going on.

Sorry ladies... that's the way it is, though.
 DallasSBF
Joined: 8/30/2007
Msg: 181
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 4/30/2008 6:09:02 PM
Good question!!!!!
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 184
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 5/3/2008 4:47:42 PM

Sorry to burst your bubbles, but some women just generally like men....go figure.
Totally agree acttwo! Not all men are capable of being "friends"; but then again.....neither are all women! Aside from having different prospectives on common interests....and different interests that they can introduce and explain to us (women)...they're less likely to have hurt feelings over honest discussion, and more likely to to give honest opinions when asked. Naturally, you can't just totally ignore the gender factor....but if memory serves correctly...of all my male "friends"...the numbers are about equal of those who have told me first that they prefer not to mess up a good friendship by getting romantic, as I have told the same thing.

I wouldn't sweat the guys who feel that when women say that they just want a "dick in a jar" though......those guys are as lousy at relationships as they are at friendship.
 randomstoic
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 185
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:18:28 PM
Well if a woman is your friend, then she should encourage you to find your love.
 enigmagrl
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 186
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 5/3/2008 5:21:59 PM
I'm actually surprised by how many people think it's not possible for guys and girls to be friends. Some of my best friends are guys. It's a whole different dynamic than the friendships I have with my female friends. (and no..not a sexual thing either). And the "types" of friendships are different with the different guys..just as they are with my different female friends. I also disagree that you absolutely can't be friends with someone you are attracted to. I mean...goodness...does that mean all your opposite sex friends have to be ugly? I have several that yeah..I know there is some level of attraction there on both sides...but...I ALSO know...nothing would come of it more than very innocent flirting sometimes if we are out or whatever. I know that they would be there for me if I need them...just as I would be there for them. I've always enjoyed doing a lot of outdoor things that not too many of my female friends are into...I have a certain guy friend that I do some of that stuff with. I don't get it...does that mean my gay friends are gonna turn me gay too?
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 189
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 5/13/2008 12:49:18 AM
In the words of Chris Rock, girls have platonic friends, but men just have women we haven't had sex with yet. Guys rarely have female friends that we wouldn't want to have sex with. Girls have guys who are 'currently' platonic, but Chris describes us as 'a d!ck in a glass case'. Break glass in case of emergency. It's like they keep us around, 'just in case'.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 192
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:07:16 PM
To me when a guy is just a friend is either a man I like hanging out with but have no attraction to, or a guy I'm into but he's not into me. Since I know what it's like not to be into someone, I don't have to date to be happy, and there are plenty of other options, I have no problem maintaining a friendship with a guy I like that's not mutual. I don't know, I just flip a switch and it's not a problem.

There's also friends first where I like a guy, he likes me and we both want to start off as friends before going further.
 Gourmetchef50
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 194
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:14:30 AM
it simple dude..cause we always want s-e-x!!! Women want all the 'other stuff'..which we could care less about..capish?/
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 196
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:25:49 AM

Has anyone mentioned the scenario where a woman won't be your friend because she finds you too attractive but not relationship material ( she doesn't trust herself not to give in to possible future advances/flirting, etc so she plays it safe by avoiding that possibility ) ?


I've done this and flat out told a few different guys that I wouldn't go out or hang out with them for that very reason. I'll talk by phone, email, text..whatever but if the attraction is there for both and both are single yet you know a relationship wouldn't work, I figure it's better to play it safe and avoid being together and alone in person.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 198
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:45:01 AM

If the guy and girl were friends since like childhood I can believe it, other then that if the girl is attractive the guy will always want to at least sleep with her. If the girl shows no interest sexually at first but lets the guy hang around as a friend, he will bide his time until he sees an opportunity to hook up. He may not come out and say things like, "why dont we have sex?", instead making little jokes about kissing/grab assing to gadge your reaction. Then he'll make a move when you are both really drunk, so if he gets shot down he can apologize for it the next day, saying it was the booze talking. But girls if you give him that opening for something more, 99% of the time he will take it no matter how good of "friends" you think you are.

It's strange to me that you'd explain to a guy that you only want to be friends, and he agrees - yet thinks of it as an opening for something more. Where does that come from, since we don't ever give you that impression? Not to address the above quoted poster specifically, but it's an example of my confusion.

Some women offer friendship as a way to soften the blow of rejection and have no real intention of honoring it - those men will complain that the woman wasn't being straight and get upset that she felt he couldn't handle it. For those of us who really enjoy hanging out with a guy but will never be interested in anything romantic and tell a guy that - IMO he brings it on himself if he can't handle that. He should say "no thanks" from the beginning. Naturally if a guy says he can handle it, we'll take his word for it. Why wouldn't we? After all, we're constantly being told by men that they mean what they say and say what they mean.
 good_catch77
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 203
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/23/2008 11:16:10 AM
Well I have more female friends than male. But this one I think wanted the "in case my current b/f didn't work." Let me explain. No matter what, if I said I liked this girl or that girl the other girl was never "good enough" for me. She'd say something like 'you don't need a girl like that" all in all saying this to "take care of her friend." But I think it was just to keep me single that way if it didn't work out she could date me. I could be wrong or I could be right.

That's not to generalize and say all women are that way but she was. I've had a few that did that to me. I don't talk to them anymore because I don't know about everyone else but I don't like to be used.

Best of luck to everyone
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 206
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/23/2008 12:55:54 PM

Well I have more female friends than male. But this one I think wanted the "in case my current b/f didn't work." Let me explain. No matter what, if I said I liked this girl or that girl the other girl was never "good enough" for me. She'd say something like 'you don't need a girl like that" all in all saying this to "take care of her friend." But I think it was just to keep me single that way if it didn't work out she could date me. I could be wrong or I could be right.

Sounds like what we all do with friends - we often say that to our girlfriends in conversation. It's a pep talk. Just because it's female to male doesn't mean that it's any different. It just means that she thinks you're a good guy and you deserve a person who treats you right. How do you get "she wants to keep you single" from someone telling you you're a good person? Yikes - I thought women were the gender that was supposed to read too much into everything.

That's not to generalize and say all women are that way but she was. I've had a few that did that to me. I don't talk to them anymore because I don't know about everyone else but I don't like to be used.

Yeah, I don't understand your line of thinking here. How does a woman telling you that you should date someone that's good for you being used?
 Stan Powder
Joined: 12/22/2007
Msg: 211
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Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:34:07 PM
I always tell girls who just want to be friends, that I have more than enough friends and not enough room. Meaning I can't be friends with girls I am seriously attracted to. And I've seen guys who do follow the friend thing, and they look like losers.

Honestly, when I'm with someone fine, and one of her close friends happens to be a dude, I'm so hoping he's gay lol. Seriously I'd rather him be one of the girls. When a guy is a good friend he always ends up spoiling the party for the guy who gets her the right way with attraction coming first. Guys who are good friends with girls you are dating are the biggest buzzkillers at the end, especially when they break down and confess their true feelings to the girl. Total losers

Me personally I have some great female friends, but if I were attracted to them, I end up keeping them as aquantances, especially if they are with a guy who is a total champ and gets my respect.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 212
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/23/2008 6:51:16 PM

I have always been attracted to her and want more. She told a friend of mine that she was not attracted to me about 4 years ago.
We started going out once a week about two months ago and have not talked for a month until yesterday. Now she says she was afraid to call me because she thought I wanted more out of the relationship and she was afraid to ask me about it because it would mean the end of our 'friendship' and did I understand she wanted to be friends only. I told her I liked her alot and that I wasn't gay. She said that I was her most important friendship and she didn't want to lose it. I said fine we were friends. She also has stated to me 'no more boyfriends'.

To me, that's a pretty clear "it's not gonna happen" especially if this is happening over the span of four years or more. Not only is she not attracted, she's afraid to give the impression that she is by being vague, so she spelled it out.

I don't care what everyone else thinks, I think I have a chance with her. I believe if I take it slow and careful she will change her mind about me. She has had terrible luck with men in the past, but we don't talk about it ever. Maybe I am delusional about this.

Yet this is the message you got. Amazing.
 _Red_
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 214
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/23/2008 8:12:03 PM
This one is far too simple I think.

If a guy is horny enough, he'll have sex with anything. If a woman is, she'll pass up the unattractive guy, go home and use a toy.
 MLG42
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 217
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/24/2008 7:43:50 AM
"not many women are going to bonk anything with a impressive portfolio or a perfect six pack....but there aren't too many men who won't want to bonk someone who just walks by them with big kajungas.... you guys are all about the physical and there has to be physical attraction, I read somewhere almost 50 % of men think about sex several times a day, double the rate of women.... that is just "

Have you actually took the time to read most of the female profiles in here? Please take the time, then re-think your wording here, for your sake and to save face.

My problem is that I am a listener, I pay attention to what has been said or what I read. So I would have to say I dissagree with what you have written here.
Then there are the other 99 billion dating sites as well, most women post on there that they are looking for and attractive, well kept shape of a man. hmm. I wonder why they are still single?
I myself have been taking the time to find myself agian after my divorce, So I have been reading female profiles for sometime and they all point to " Attractive, Abs of steel, and going to cheat on me the next chance they get, since they are so hot, and must be taller than 6 foot, so I have to look up to you."
This is made it respect to the funny and humorous things we all put in our profiles.
 sarsss
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 221
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:03:06 AM
Well, there are many types of likeness and attraction, such as intellectual, physical, emotional, etc. Some attractions are possibly not even defined or categorized because of the confusion of all the terms that relate to likeness and love.

I can like a guy and want him only as a friend. However, if I am attracted a guy in a romantic way, I do not want to be just friends with him.
 SmartestGuyinworld
Joined: 5/16/2008
Msg: 222
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:39:07 AM
How can ANY guy accept "Runner -up" prize? .....That means: "Friend".

The "other" guy (usually BAD guy) gets all the SEX, while the guy "Friend" get's only the tears from the girl.

NO WAY!!!!!...........I only provide the WHOLE Package.

NEVER Accept to be "Friends", while She IS having SEX with another guy (BAD ASS).....

It's called being a CHUMP......

.
 SmartestGuyinworld
Joined: 5/16/2008
Msg: 224
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/24/2008 9:57:07 AM
WHEN A WOMAN SPEAKS:.............

Saying: "LET's BE FRIENDS" is the same as saying YOU are NOT WORTHY to be my Lover, and I'm going to let other guys BANG ME, who are "better" than you.

....and when things go wrong, please be there to hear my complain..........

That's THE REALITY of "being friends" with a woman who YOU WANT.

.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 228
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/24/2008 11:47:42 AM

How can ANY guy accept "Runner -up" prize? .....That means: "Friend".

You give women way too much credit to think we categorize people that way. Either we're into you or we're not. How you take that is your problem.

The "other" guy (usually BAD guy) gets all the SEX, while the guy "Friend" get's only the tears from the girl.

You don't know that a bad guy gets all the sex, or that he's preventing you from getting any if he exists. Personally I have sex the whole time I am single, separate from dating and male friends. It just has no connection to anything else I am doing. If and when I meet someone and it become serious, than naturally he's the one I date and sleep with exclusively. And P.S. I am one of MANY women who do this. Sorry!

NO WAY!!!!!...........I only provide the WHOLE Package.
NEVER Accept to be "Friends", while She IS having SEX with another guy (BAD ASS).....
It's called being a CHUMP......

Some of you men take things women do while minding their own business to be WAY too much about you - and it's just not. Perhaps some of you should occupy your time better and not overanalyze everything so much.

WHEN A WOMAN SPEAKS:.............

Saying: "LET's BE FRIENDS" is the same as saying YOU are NOT WORTHY to be my Lover, and I'm going to let other guys BANG ME, who are "better" than you.

....and when things go wrong, please be there to hear my complain..........

That's THE REALITY of "being friends" with a woman who YOU WANT.

Yes, you end up talking to your friends about the people you date - as a woman your female friends do the same thing. Definition of friendship, actually. What did you think a friendship (that you likely agreed to in the first place) entails? I realize men don't talk about their dates much to their friends like women do, but for us, it's common practice.

And women aren't saying anything else when they offer friendship but what you hear - it's not about you getting or not getting anything. It most likely means she actually enjoys your company (uh, what a crime). Again if you can't handle it, don't freaking agree to it. That's your own fault.
 SmartestGuyinworld
Joined: 5/16/2008
Msg: 230
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:00:50 PM
DJC Hickey,


That's why I said NEVER agree to being "Friends" with a woman YOU WANT .

.......Do you have a reading comprehension problem?

Thanks,......You are my evidence as to why I'm correct in everything I said.

NEVER be "Friends" with a woman YOU WANT, while another guy gets ALL the SEX "Benefits" of a relationship.

DO NOT EVER AGREE TO "Friends" with a woman YOU DESIRE.........(said it again).

.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 231
Guys don't want to be just friends, but girls do, why is that?
Posted: 6/24/2008 12:06:29 PM
DJC Hickey,

That's why I said NEVER agree to being "Friends" with a woman YOU WANT .

.......Do you have a reading comprehension problem?

You might, there's no space or cap "H" in my SN - thanks much. Anywho...
Nope, I read and understood it and I half agreed with you on men taking friendship offered, but I disagree about why it is offered - it's not the slap in the face you seem to think it is.

My point was that it's not done to personally offend - AGAIN I will say most women offer it because they enjoy your company and just aren't attracted to you. If they didn't think you were a good person they wouldn't offer it, they'd just stop talking to you. A SMALL group of women do it to soften rejection, but not enough to discuss. Attraction's not a choice...and that's life.
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