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 RAZ49
Joined: 2/10/2004
Msg: 51
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"And just one last question Adattude... why is it so difficult to pay a woman a compliment and tell her why you picked her? It tells me that you actually bothered to read my profile before contacting me. Flattery will get you everywhere after all. :) Too many times I feel as if the guy didn't even read a word I said."





I have done that so many times and it was a big waste of time, they still didn't reply so you get tired of doing that and start making it simple just to see if you get a reply. If a woman is offended by a "Hi" or "how are you" then I don't want to be around her anyway.
 islgurl
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 52
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:01:21 PM
Raz...it is not a question of being offended. Sheesh...rarely offended by 3 words..well, unless it's an intended insult, which fortunately have not experienced.
But come on! Just a few, or less, full interested sentences implying you read the person's profile, like said profile, and somewhat interested in the human behind the profile...is not a difficult effort. And very appreciated by grownups.

As far as guys/gals who say they write and state what they found interesting about the other, and then receive zero response...I consider that a total "waste-of-my-precious-time "was AVOIDED. YAY!
Those kinda peeps need to continue fishing in the $2.00 Catfish Ponds....dried dogfood is the usual bait. Heh!
 WonkaBar
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 53
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:31:25 PM

Why do you have to write something long? Just say "I see you're into gaming and so am I".


In response, allow me to direct you to any number of threads ****ing about why men send "one-line E-mails".


Let me share with you emails I have received that are more likely to get a response from me:

"I wanted to compliment you on your profile. You are very intelligent and down to earth. Your writing reflects well on how you think and how you feel."
"I see you played Evil Stevie's Pirate Game at Origins"
"I really enjoyed your profile, what type of galleries to you like to go to when you go to gallery hop?"
"How many years have you been going to Gencon? How did you get started in gaming?"
"How long have you been playing WoW?"


I've sent out E-mails with exactly those kinds of questions. I'll let you guess as to how many women actually wrote back to answer them.

I really love how none of the women who assert that men who don't get much of a response rate assume they *must* be sending out either form letters or "how r u" gibberish and never actually answer the ones who claim that they write the kinds of letters women claim they respond to and still don't get an answer.

Fact is, we get ignored. Hard to believe, but it happens.
 bestwomanever
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 54
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:49:26 PM
It's good to know that other women on here get where I'm coming from. Some guys are just so black and white on here. They're assuming that, just because we want more than 3 words, it means we want a novel. I do appreciate every email I get and take it as a compliment. I've just had enough of the illiterate So Cal guys for one lifetime, so am always a little disappointed whenever I enounter yet another one.
And Sherilyn, I agree with you 100%. I hope you don't let the losers like Attetude and Lastgd1left (qite ironic usernames, actually) offend you. They are clearly bitter and hate women a lot to lash out so much and it's obvious why they are still single. Pretty scary how violent with their words they are actually. Makes one scared to encounter either of them in real life.
 Theresthegirl
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 55
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:53:11 PM
You think maybe you get a short messege like that because its coming from the IM, it says if the user doesnt respond it will be emailed after you close the box right.At least your getting something.Think how many times you've typed in a short messege in the IM and then clicked off it.LOL
 Ajay15
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 56
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People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/17/2007 11:13:05 PM
First of all, this is supposed to be fun, not stressful.

Second, it’s an art not an exact science, so there is no single right answer.

Third, everyone has their preference, and they have right to behave in the manner they choose fit.

However, when I send messages, I might right a short message relating to the profile, or little longer message, depending on the mood and the person. If I am going through the trouble of making contact, I should be at least willing to type more then a sentence.

Everyone is different. Some people don’t want to send long messages when they are getting reply to less then 5-10% of them, so they will send a short message, to see if the person is interested.

If the person's profile has something you like, it doesn’t hurt to reply back and see if the conversation develops. It's not like you have anything to lose by doing so.

Just my 2 cents.
 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 57
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/17/2007 11:14:41 PM
Limited typing skills maybe?

They are trolling for replies, send 100 get at least 5 replies, of those they probably have a standard cut and paste follow up.

You should reply

"I'm single, DUH!"


There are a LOT of women who's profiles leave very little to comment on, I find them sort of boring right from the start and won't even send an email even of they are very attractive and fit all the basic interests for me. I want to be impressed by a woman, not bored... its not a great way to start.
 Skyliner
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 58
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 1:05:06 AM
Personally I see nothing wrong with a short hello to start with to see if the interest is there knowing full well that you will probably check out the senders profile and make your decisions from there too.

No point typing too much if it is only going to be read and deleted straight away is there !!....If the interest is there then maybe it will generate a reply and things progress from there.

I know one girl on here who said exactly the same on her profile that she would just delete messages from blokes coz she got tired of all the blokes looking for "fun", so I tried a nice polite minimum hello message..and yes it got deleted.
Now she has a testimonial up asking for guys to approach her and that she is really nice & great etc, she has also adjusted her profile wording, but is obviously still not getting the responses anymore...I wonder why..?? I certainly won't be trying again !!
 piscean_m
Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 59
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People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 1:32:59 AM
I'm GUILTY.....however in my case, I'm in a hurry and its a good way to stay in touch
Personally its good to get something, than nothing.....this person is thinking of you..
 bestwomanever
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 60
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 1:34:42 AM
BTW, I think that "onegoodwifebeaterleft" or whatever his name is is just trolling for women to respond to him in any way possible. Usually when guys try to think they're psychic and assume they make more money, etc., they know they've lost a debate and are just grasping for any pathetic straws to hold onto. Also, he really needs to look in the mirror before HE calls anyone unattractive. Those who live in butt-ugly houses shouldn't throw stones. Big shocker that loser is still single. He needs to use some of that free Canadian healthcare that Micheal Moore talks about and pay for some psychotherapy (emphasis on the "psycho" part).
This thread seems to reveal the true colors of some males on this site. Getting so violent because women ask for the courtesy of at least 2 sentances is seriously a sign of mental illness. I think those who actually have some brain power understand the point that other women and I are saying here. We would like a response that is somewhat personalized to us, even if it is just "Hi, I read your profile and think it's cool that you like (instert thing from profile) too. I'd like to chat sometime." Now, I'm sure the psycho will take offense at that and begin to ramble about his big bucks he makes at McDonald's as his witty response, lol.
 hush79
Joined: 6/7/2007
Msg: 61
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:10:11 AM
hello ,...how are u,..ALL??
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 62
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:10:23 AM
Wow, I am really surprised at how many men say they won't write a decent starter email becuase they've been rejected too many times. You're not the only ones that get rejected you know. There have been a few times I emailed a guy that just had what I thought was an amazing fit from his profile and then got rejected or ignored. You have to keep jumping back on that horse and trying again and never get discouraged if you really do want to to find the one for you. I really don't understand why you think that just because YOU found a woman's profile to be interesting means she should feel the same about you. You really shouldn't expect a 100% return or even 50% return on emails because this is all about finding the right person. I'm 37, I've been around the block enough times to know exactly what I'm looking for and what doesn't work for me. I was even polite enough to be very upfront with it in my profile. Yes, I will reject over 50% of the guys that email me because I'm picky... but shouldn't everyone be picky?

Guys, a good profile is also important. Proper spelling, proper punctuation, and a little bit more depth than "Hi, I'm Bob and I like to camp" is needed. Think about when you go to a store, if you see a new item you're not familiar with it's the marketing/packaging that sells it and not the contents. You do have to sell yourself to some extent here and not everyone is going to like your sales pitch and want the product. A perfect example, there is a guy that sent me an email last Friday that I never would have responded to if he hadn't made a comment about the game I played in. When I looked at his profile it just looked like your average guy with the average hobbies for a man (golf, paintball, said he loved outdoor activities) and had zero hint of there being a geeky side of him. After I talked to him (and went out with him Monday for dinner) I have to say his profile totally misrepresented who he was. It turns out this guy is pretty active in the gaming community and a pretty decent geek, yet not a tiny bit of shows through in his profile.
 burnt angel
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 63
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:42:06 AM
i always try to respond to each email in some way or another. of course rude and abrasive initial emails don't deserve response. but that aside, if someone decides to just say "hi" or "how are you" or some other unimaginative or uncreative salutation, there may be a reason. i'm not really interested in a relationship with a boring person, however, given that there may be a reason for there short initial email, i'll reply in turn. if they say hi, i'll say hi back. if they say "how are you?" i'll reply with a "very well thank you, and you?" this lets them know i'm open to giving them opportunity to reply with something a little more personal. if the second email shows any signs of being more personal and more intelligent, then i'll happily continue correspondance with them. if it's equally as boring as the first, then i will probably write another letter declining further correspondance.
 piscean_m
Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 64
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People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 4:58:08 AM
Sherilyn70....I agree on the rejection part, keep

You didn't know this individual prior to viewing the profile, don't sweat it...

And when I send out a short note, its just a feeler.....and if theres a response you can tell if its worth persuing......however some have their profiles set up to get lengthy notes and not short ones..
 tdh46
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 65
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:29:11 AM
At least you get 3 words.....This i swear to god was an e-mail i got from a woman about a week ago......

Hi

That's it nothing more but "Hi", So in keeping with the theme i simply replied...Hello"".

The next day she replied with this gem......"Good morning". That was it nothing more, just Good morning.

The lady had written me two e-mails with a grant total of 3 words....Just how much thought did she actually put into it before contacting me?

Can someone tell me just how was i supposed to respond to this woman? Did i have anything at all to work with?
 Janet4now
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 66
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:37:03 AM

That's it nothing more but Hi, So in keeping with the theme i simply replied...Hello.

I was going to say the same thing... I reply "in kind".

How are you? gets from me "fine" that's it. Just the one word.

I think that gives a stronger message than read/delete.
 Sadie415
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 67
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 8:37:36 AM
It's annoying as heck and has happened to me twice by the same person. Each time he lived in a completely different area. I think he forgot about doing it the first time and did it again months later.
 bravo1965
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 68
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 8:56:15 AM
freebird78 ........... yes it irritates me.... get it all the time, and some may think I am horrible here, but I just delete it..... as to me it just shows how boring someone is.... sorry but thats my view....
 Just_Jay79
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 69
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 9:39:07 AM
Quite frankly some people are going to send one-liners, some are going to send personalized but brief intros, and some people are going to send novels.

I've sent out all three types, some get responses, a lot get "Read" status and sit in their inbox indefinitely, some get "read/deleted" which is at least a clear indication they're not interested, and lastly a few get "unread/deleted", which I just find plain rude as I'm always polite in my messages and a simple "no thank you" would suffice

As for messages I receive from women, and I typically get two each time I sign in - both can usually fit on ONE line like "hi how are you? saw your profile, wanna chat?", or "hey sexy", and that's about it

I thank them kindly for their compliment/flattery, and tell them to take care (unless they turn out to be attractive).

What's worse yet is that 9 out of 10 of them have never actually read my profile, they just went off of attraction to my pics, and the reason I know they haven't read it is I clearly state my devotion and expectation of physical fitness and physical beauty in my potential dates and I still get messaged by overweight/out of shape women, some 15 years my senior...

So OP it's not just men that get lazy with one-liners or don't read profiles, plenty of ladies on here don't have a clue either...
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 70
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 9:49:12 AM
Tigerwoods... your profile is very subject to interpretation. Don't assume that just because a fat woman like me sent you an email that they didn't read your profile. :) You stated "I adore women that share a similar philosophy, and understand the importance of health and fitness" I think that there are a lot of women out there that are overweight that do understand the importance of health and fitness. I am one of those. I just lack a little motivation right now, I admit I gained weight after falling into a not so pretty place in my life. I am interested in fix it and with the right person I very well may find just the motivation I need. You list many interests that are not image related, so if you were my type and local to me... I very well may have given it a "what can it hurt?" shot and seen if you weren't too shallow and could see me for who I am in terms of everything else we have in common.
 KitNbootz
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 71
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 9:58:36 AM
I don't get annoyed. I just READ, DELETE, (and probably) BLOCK.

Can't take the 30 seconds to actually formulate a sincere sentence? Too busy cut-n-pasting and carpet bombing every woman on PoF? No problem. I can't be bothered to reply. Bye-bye!

Happy fishing.
 Just_Jay79
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 72
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:00:28 AM
^^^^ to Sherilyn above:
Well I wrote it that way to be as eloquent as possible and not overtly rude. Somehow I don't think putting a crass neon sign up saying "No fat chicks" would exactly earn me any points, and I'd be a complete a-hole to post something like that anyway! Sure there are overweight people that believe in health and fitness, but there is a difference in knowing the path and walking the path.

Anyone that takes the time to message me, fat or thin, is thanked kindly for their effort and time regardless of whether I'm interested in them or not. That's just simple manners that I was raised with and am thankful for.

As for "shallow", let's not start throwing this bastardized term around on yet ANOTHER thread...
 superserial
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 73
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:02:32 AM

somehow I don't think putting a crass neon sign up saying "No fat chicks" would exactly earn me any points, and I'd be a complete a-hole to post something like that anyway!


Where can I get a sign like that?
 kawasaki
Joined: 4/21/2006
Msg: 74
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People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:14:20 AM
well how many times you write a text and it get deleted or no awnser? im a 1 finger typer im dilecsic carnt spell but have a secratary at work to do all that im a production manager i run a plastics factory. people call you dumb just a fine thanx at least you know they want a chat?
 JustKelly70
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 75
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People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:16:26 AM
I got, I'm not into emailing, maybe chat with you some time, Something like that.
Never did hear back from her, I replied with my msn I think. Sometimes a bad idea sometimes not:)
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