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 bestwomanever
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 51
People who just write how are you Page 3 of 78    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
It's good to know that other women on here get where I'm coming from. Some guys are just so black and white on here. They're assuming that, just because we want more than 3 words, it means we want a novel. I do appreciate every email I get and take it as a compliment. I've just had enough of the illiterate So Cal guys for one lifetime, so am always a little disappointed whenever I enounter yet another one.
And Sherilyn, I agree with you 100%. I hope you don't let the losers like Attetude and Lastgd1left (qite ironic usernames, actually) offend you. They are clearly bitter and hate women a lot to lash out so much and it's obvious why they are still single. Pretty scary how violent with their words they are actually. Makes one scared to encounter either of them in real life.
 Theresthegirl
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 52
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/17/2007 10:53:11 PM
You think maybe you get a short messege like that because its coming from the IM, it says if the user doesnt respond it will be emailed after you close the box right.At least your getting something.Think how many times you've typed in a short messege in the IM and then clicked off it.LOL
 Ajay15
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 53
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People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/17/2007 11:13:05 PM
First of all, this is supposed to be fun, not stressful.

Second, it’s an art not an exact science, so there is no single right answer.

Third, everyone has their preference, and they have right to behave in the manner they choose fit.

However, when I send messages, I might right a short message relating to the profile, or little longer message, depending on the mood and the person. If I am going through the trouble of making contact, I should be at least willing to type more then a sentence.

Everyone is different. Some people don’t want to send long messages when they are getting reply to less then 5-10% of them, so they will send a short message, to see if the person is interested.

If the person's profile has something you like, it doesn’t hurt to reply back and see if the conversation develops. It's not like you have anything to lose by doing so.

Just my 2 cents.
 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 54
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/17/2007 11:14:41 PM
Limited typing skills maybe?

They are trolling for replies, send 100 get at least 5 replies, of those they probably have a standard cut and paste follow up.

You should reply

"I'm single, DUH!"


There are a LOT of women who's profiles leave very little to comment on, I find them sort of boring right from the start and won't even send an email even of they are very attractive and fit all the basic interests for me. I want to be impressed by a woman, not bored... its not a great way to start.
 piscean_m
Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 55
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People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 1:32:59 AM
I'm GUILTY.....however in my case, I'm in a hurry and its a good way to stay in touch
Personally its good to get something, than nothing.....this person is thinking of you..
 bestwomanever
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 56
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 1:34:42 AM
BTW, I think that "onegoodwifebeaterleft" or whatever his name is is just trolling for women to respond to him in any way possible. Usually when guys try to think they're psychic and assume they make more money, etc., they know they've lost a debate and are just grasping for any pathetic straws to hold onto. Also, he really needs to look in the mirror before HE calls anyone unattractive. Those who live in butt-ugly houses shouldn't throw stones. Big shocker that loser is still single. He needs to use some of that free Canadian healthcare that Micheal Moore talks about and pay for some psychotherapy (emphasis on the "psycho" part).
This thread seems to reveal the true colors of some males on this site. Getting so violent because women ask for the courtesy of at least 2 sentances is seriously a sign of mental illness. I think those who actually have some brain power understand the point that other women and I are saying here. We would like a response that is somewhat personalized to us, even if it is just "Hi, I read your profile and think it's cool that you like (instert thing from profile) too. I'd like to chat sometime." Now, I'm sure the psycho will take offense at that and begin to ramble about his big bucks he makes at McDonald's as his witty response, lol.
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 57
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:10:23 AM
Wow, I am really surprised at how many men say they won't write a decent starter email becuase they've been rejected too many times. You're not the only ones that get rejected you know. There have been a few times I emailed a guy that just had what I thought was an amazing fit from his profile and then got rejected or ignored. You have to keep jumping back on that horse and trying again and never get discouraged if you really do want to to find the one for you. I really don't understand why you think that just because YOU found a woman's profile to be interesting means she should feel the same about you. You really shouldn't expect a 100% return or even 50% return on emails because this is all about finding the right person. I'm 37, I've been around the block enough times to know exactly what I'm looking for and what doesn't work for me. I was even polite enough to be very upfront with it in my profile. Yes, I will reject over 50% of the guys that email me because I'm picky... but shouldn't everyone be picky?

Guys, a good profile is also important. Proper spelling, proper punctuation, and a little bit more depth than "Hi, I'm Bob and I like to camp" is needed. Think about when you go to a store, if you see a new item you're not familiar with it's the marketing/packaging that sells it and not the contents. You do have to sell yourself to some extent here and not everyone is going to like your sales pitch and want the product. A perfect example, there is a guy that sent me an email last Friday that I never would have responded to if he hadn't made a comment about the game I played in. When I looked at his profile it just looked like your average guy with the average hobbies for a man (golf, paintball, said he loved outdoor activities) and had zero hint of there being a geeky side of him. After I talked to him (and went out with him Monday for dinner) I have to say his profile totally misrepresented who he was. It turns out this guy is pretty active in the gaming community and a pretty decent geek, yet not a tiny bit of shows through in his profile.
 burnt angel
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 58
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:42:06 AM
i always try to respond to each email in some way or another. of course rude and abrasive initial emails don't deserve response. but that aside, if someone decides to just say "hi" or "how are you" or some other unimaginative or uncreative salutation, there may be a reason. i'm not really interested in a relationship with a boring person, however, given that there may be a reason for there short initial email, i'll reply in turn. if they say hi, i'll say hi back. if they say "how are you?" i'll reply with a "very well thank you, and you?" this lets them know i'm open to giving them opportunity to reply with something a little more personal. if the second email shows any signs of being more personal and more intelligent, then i'll happily continue correspondance with them. if it's equally as boring as the first, then i will probably write another letter declining further correspondance.
 piscean_m
Joined: 5/30/2005
Msg: 59
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People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 4:58:08 AM
Sherilyn70....I agree on the rejection part, keep

You didn't know this individual prior to viewing the profile, don't sweat it...

And when I send out a short note, its just a feeler.....and if theres a response you can tell if its worth persuing......however some have their profiles set up to get lengthy notes and not short ones..
 tdh46
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 60
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:29:11 AM
At least you get 3 words.....This i swear to god was an e-mail i got from a woman about a week ago......

Hi

That's it nothing more but "Hi", So in keeping with the theme i simply replied...Hello"".

The next day she replied with this gem......"Good morning". That was it nothing more, just Good morning.

The lady had written me two e-mails with a grant total of 3 words....Just how much thought did she actually put into it before contacting me?

Can someone tell me just how was i supposed to respond to this woman? Did i have anything at all to work with?
 Janet4now
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 61
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 7:37:03 AM

That's it nothing more but Hi, So in keeping with the theme i simply replied...Hello.

I was going to say the same thing... I reply "in kind".

How are you? gets from me "fine" that's it. Just the one word.

I think that gives a stronger message than read/delete.
 Sadie415
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 62
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 8:37:36 AM
It's annoying as heck and has happened to me twice by the same person. Each time he lived in a completely different area. I think he forgot about doing it the first time and did it again months later.
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 63
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 9:49:12 AM
Tigerwoods... your profile is very subject to interpretation. Don't assume that just because a fat woman like me sent you an email that they didn't read your profile. :) You stated "I adore women that share a similar philosophy, and understand the importance of health and fitness" I think that there are a lot of women out there that are overweight that do understand the importance of health and fitness. I am one of those. I just lack a little motivation right now, I admit I gained weight after falling into a not so pretty place in my life. I am interested in fix it and with the right person I very well may find just the motivation I need. You list many interests that are not image related, so if you were my type and local to me... I very well may have given it a "what can it hurt?" shot and seen if you weren't too shallow and could see me for who I am in terms of everything else we have in common.
 KitNbootz
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 64
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 9:58:36 AM
I don't get annoyed. I just READ, DELETE, (and probably) BLOCK.

Can't take the 30 seconds to actually formulate a sincere sentence? Too busy cut-n-pasting and carpet bombing every woman on PoF? No problem. I can't be bothered to reply. Bye-bye!

Happy fishing.
 superserial
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 65
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:02:32 AM

somehow I don't think putting a crass neon sign up saying "No fat chicks" would exactly earn me any points, and I'd be a complete a-hole to post something like that anyway!


Where can I get a sign like that?
 JustKelly70
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 66
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People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:16:26 AM
I got, I'm not into emailing, maybe chat with you some time, Something like that.
Never did hear back from her, I replied with my msn I think. Sometimes a bad idea sometimes not:)
 WonkaBar
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 67
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:18:15 AM

Wow, I am really surprised at how many men say they won't write a decent starter email becuase they've been rejected too many times. You're not the only ones that get rejected you know.


I think you vastly underestimate the difference in the amount of messages men send out versus the number of messages women send out. Women initiate contact 26% of the time. That leaves us to do the rest. Factor in the fact that it's anywhere from a 0-10% response rate (and most of those don't even last beyond two E-mails) and after, say, six months you're tired of even looking at the horse, let alone getting back on it. Needless to say, I don't write to people much anymore.

You can afford to be picky because you're the one being written to. I've received a grand total of five unsolicited E-mails since I've joined this site. Most of them weren't even from people on my side of the country, who can't believe a guy like me is still single.

But hey, we're just re-hashing the same argument that always comes up around here - no, no one owes you a response - but finger-pointing and assuming that it's because the guy's an illiterate bog troll smacks of "blaming the victim", I think. It hints that there's a magic formula that guys are just too stupid to acknowledge, and if they would just do things the way women want them to, they wouldn't be having such problems. And it's a crock.
 dette613
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 68
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:26:21 AM
How are you?
It's just a simple way to break the ice.
Let it go!
It doesn't mean a hill of beans....but it is an opportunity to start a conversation with someone new...
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 69
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People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:28:41 AM
When I write half a page, they don't email back. So what do you want? A mind-reader?
 a1na2
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 70
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:29:03 AM
You get what you give.

You don't want to write a whole blurb only to have it deleted but be UNIQUE/ORIGINAL in a concise way.

Dette : " how are you ? " is too impersonal and not very inspiring to respond to for most of us.

 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 71
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:31:39 AM
I must be getting slow...

I just noticed the irony between the topic of this thread and the website its on...

We are all for contact with someone we really click well with... so just a "How are you" is a lure, a person tosses a line out and see's who bites.

I don't think I've ever written just "How are you" unless it was a sarcastic reply to a woman who wrote "Hi, I like your profile"

I figure a short initial email deserved a short reply.

Who knows... but I've never been accused of lacking the ability to type long emails.

Although I'm tempted to send a "How are you" email to all the ladies who've posted in this thread ab0ut how annoying a short first mail is... sorry I'm just in a sarcastic mood, the rain ruined my days work so I'm here to troll the forums.
 sherilyn70
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 72
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 10:34:44 AM
Maybe it depends on the women then. Out of the quality emails I've received I have probably sent about the same initiated number out to men.

I don't respond to everyone and I don't mail out in mass. I only send emails to the ones that truly caught my interest. There is one currently that I am disappointed has been rather non communicative back. I sent him an initial email with a decent amount of detail... he read it but didn't delete it. So a week later I sent a second email asking if he was not interested and should I move on. He responded after that, we talked a couple of times... but when trying to get him to commit to actually meeting or talking on the phone he is non responsive again, so it's time to move on. I tried, it didn't work, no big deal... lots of other men in Columbus.

Sites like this are tools to help us find what we're looking for. This is not the only place I look and online is not the only method I use. I met a few wonderful guys at gaming conventions this year. I do however find that the online search is more successful though since I'm not a drinker or an extremely social person and I am looking for someone with a more technical type of interests.
 JustKelly70
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 73
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People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 11:04:05 AM
i got my first unread deleted last week, I copy and pasted the same message and sent it again, same thing unread deleted, I'm not one to complain, but shesh have a look at the message. I had sent a detailed message. I usually do, How are you is not going to cut it.
Read thier profile, find some common interests and go from there.
 ejesq
Joined: 5/12/2007
Msg: 74
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People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 11:26:53 AM
Complete and total lack of imagination. Could you imagine with replying simply "I'm fine."
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 75
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/18/2007 11:44:15 AM
I had forgotten this, but there was a time frame when I was constantly (and I mean often) getting this:

"Wazzup ?????"

Like I know how to respond to that? My initial thought was "ut oh, another 22 year old." Oddly ~ nope, men in their 30-40s. Wazzup? That's like asking me to come over and play X-Box for a first date. Those usually got a thesis on the the origin, depth and overall limpness of such an introduction. Maybe the best answer would have been, "nuthin."
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