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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > People who just write "how are you"      Home login  
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 76
People who just write how are you Page 4 of 78    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
OK I could be wrong on this but here is my theory.............. When you send an instant message and the person doesn't reply you get a message that says " the user will be emailed when you close the window"

I have my instant messenger turned off. So no, that should be the reason at all.

In fact, the reason I have it tured off was because I got sick of men intiating IM conversations, saying hi and never saying another word after I said hi back. Or even better, they'd start the chat session and never even talk.

Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 77
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/20/2007 2:47:19 PM
Well, I guess different approaches work for different people. Some still don't seem to get that there IS a happy medium between 3 words and a novel.
Also, Ceillion, the reason I reacted so strongly to a couple of the males posting wasn't because I disagreed with them, it was because they were taking personal shots at myself and other posters. I keep it civil as long as they do too.
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 78
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/20/2007 2:55:03 PM
"Hi...How are you"? I guess your kinda a rude person.....
 shon here
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 79
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/20/2007 2:57:25 PM
I sometimes recieve rather plain opening messages like this.

Nothing wrong with it. It conveys interest. I'm not going to be deciding if I like someone or not based on their opener.
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 80
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/20/2007 6:27:06 PM
LOL hookinmouth. I think it's just that the older we get the more we realize how valuable our time really is and want to get straight to the real reason we're here and talking.
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 81
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/21/2007 9:58:45 AM
I say give the guys a break. They are just attempting to find out if we are interested or not. I can understand a guys hesitance to put in a lot of effort after about 100 "read deletes".
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 82
view profile
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/21/2007 12:11:57 PM
I wanted to leave this one alone but I cant............


They were able to get rid of most of the splinters when removing the gerbil from my ass."

Gerbils splinter???????????? I learn something every day!!!!!!!!

I can understand a guys hesitance to put in a lot of effort after about 100 "read deletes".

And how about the unread/deletes ........... I can only think of two girls I wouldn't open the mail for.........both were cyber stalkers and sent at least a dozen a day

We aren't getting and eye contact folks. ........we can't tell by your profile if you like us.
I usually send a short sentence or paragraph about what caught my eye, but no more than that I have not the time to craft a personal letter from the soul to have it flushed down the proverbial cyber toliet.

Short and sweet to get you to look at my profile and then if you delete .....I'm cool with it. I know you ladies get way more mail than I do .......and even what I get it is sometimes hard to get a reponse out to.

I'll save my intellect and romance for someone openminded and adventurous enough to take a peek
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 83
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/21/2007 2:50:17 PM

When someone writes such drivel to me as "how are you?" in an initial e-mail I usually follow with "Well, my cat died and I've just been told that my "rash" won't heal for another coupla' weeks. I'm behind on my electric bill, someone slashed my tires last night and I just got a call from the doc stating I have an STD that is incurable. oh. And I have a fungal infection on my left foot."

I have my own way of dealing with one-liner e-mails. Works every time. haha

I'd reply "Is it contagious?"

Have to keep the emails to 3 words
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 84
view profile
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/21/2007 3:39:39 PM
^^^^^^^^Yes a show of a sense of humor like that would set me to writing I'm sure

As a few of the ladies can on here can a test to

So bring it!!!!
 shon here
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 85
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/21/2007 3:55:22 PM
Most of the opening line I receive are brief, and I'm fine with that.

It's a pretty well designed site. If someone answers your brief opener with "that's it? you have to try harder than THAT!" there's a fancy little delete button, and you're good to go.
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 86
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/22/2007 3:14:50 PM
Very witty and deep response humpgator (just like that username). One more angry guy wasting bandwidth. Although, those four asterisks could mean anything. Maybe they stand for "doll", lol.
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 87
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/23/2007 1:34:51 AM
free bird your right, i get alot of messages saying "hey whatsup" or "hey what are you up to" or "lookin good" and thats it...........

I am bad enough at this thing and those make it even harder, or when a guy types in the subject line 69 or hottie, no thanks lol.
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 88
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/23/2007 2:06:44 AM
Hookinmouth, I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to know how to write an email that has more than just 3 generaic words. Personally, I'd like an educated, intelligent man, if he can't figure out how to write more than just "hi," then I know I'm not exactly dealing with the best and brightest out there.
Oh and thanks for the gross Gayle/Oprah image. I was about to go to sleep, but think I'll wait a little, as I would have a terrifying nightmare. But I'm guessing Oprah would be able to think of something more interesting than "how are you?"
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 89
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/23/2007 1:39:35 PM

What I have found is I can either write a lengthy email talking about things in her profile or a short "Hi" and it doesn't seem to matter, I still don't get a reply. I have come to the conclusion the women on here are playing games and not really wanting to meet some one or they expect the guy to be perfect even though they are far from it too. I know it sounds bitter and that might be so but when you have sent a couple hundred emails and had less than 10 replies you tend to get that way. My point is, just be glad you get emails and stop being so picky!

Yeah I know what you mean. It was similar to that for me too. I did get replies however. Quite a few actually (or even women making first contact with me), but compared to the effort you put forth, it was very minimal.
That's why I hardly bothered with this site (well the women on it). Even the not so pretty/intelligent ones think they're all that and a bag of chips

Suprisingly enough though, a short while ago I had someone make the first contact with me. She was new on the site and I was the first profile she had seen and the first person she had contacted. We spoke on the phone the very same day, met the next week and have been dating since, and things are great.

After breaking up with my ex 3.5 years ago and choosing to be single permanently, I actually found someone I connected with again.
Although I had gotten used to being alone it's been nice being in a relationship once again. Companionship can be a very nice thing.

All I can say is "don't put all your eggs in one basket" so to speak. This isn't the only site (or means of meeting others) out there. Don't dismiss it either though.
Sometimes our lives take us in an unexpected direction when we least expect it.

Good luck to all!
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 90
view profile
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/23/2007 2:07:08 PM
Ring, ring, ring.....are you going to pick up?
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 91
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/23/2007 4:31:28 PM
Hookinmouth, in response to: "Just a quick question? If someone was to e-mail you and say something like "HI, How are you today? Really like your profile, maybe we can chat sometime."....Would you respond to that?"
Yeah, even that would be just fine. If I'm interested in the guy's profile, then I would respond.
P.S. You spelled Lynyrd Skynyrd wrong. It's spelled with all "y"s, not "a"s. Actually, I used to have "must know how to spell Lynyrd Skynyrd correctly" in my profile, but figured that may be a little much for some. :P
Also Nick Thinker, very interesting approach with the "who are you." I'd have to say I'd be intrigued if I got that in an email.
 Tequila Sunrise1
Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 92
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/23/2007 4:59:12 PM
totally agree, like who cares how i am, you don't even know me! and if im on the dating site when you ask me, i'm doing OK ..small talk is so booooring
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 93
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/23/2007 5:49:06 PM
That would be more intelligent than some of the ones I get. I got one that simply read:
"hoe r u"
Joined: 12/13/2005
Msg: 94
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/23/2007 8:05:05 PM
Eh, well I don't really like to associate myself with typical Californians or anything California, since I'm not from here. Yes, people are big fans of everything Asian out here, especially white guys of Asian women.
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 95
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/24/2007 8:08:38 AM
You see the thing is this. Many people in this day and age are very socially repressed/inept.
For them it's difficult to integrate well with the rest of society (or at least new people)
Many times they lack life experience, experience with romantic relationships and even friendships.
That's why you'll find many of them on social networking/dating sites.

That's another reason why you find so many people that play games online. They'll chat forever but not meet. People really don't seem to realize how short life really is and how much of it they waste hiding behind a screen when they could be out there "living life", so to speak .

I do agree that it's not rocket science (difficult) to utilize one's intelligence/education and/or common-sense and compose a half-decent e-mail. Yes "Hi, how are you?" is usually a common way of greeting someone, but it should be followed through with questions (especially open-ended questions) that will allow the recipient to open-up and express themselves/get them talking about themselves.

The writer could easily do this by either:

A) Finding some commonalities between themselves and the person they are writing to, and chose to discuss them . Ex. If they're into the same sports, hobbies or interests they could chose to talk about last night's basketball game or about the last time they went hiking, etc.

OR (especially if they can't seem to find any common-ground right away)

B) Make small talk while trying to get to know the person. Ask them how long they've been on the site. How they're finding it so far. If they've ever met anyone from it and if so how it went. Ask them what they like to do in their spare time, etc.
Questions of that nature, if you don't know what else to speak of, will get the other person talking and from there will make it easier for them to eventually open up more and express themselves. It will allow them to at least question you (the writer) about the very same things and then will lead to other discussions.

Hope this helps some of you.
Good luck to you all, happy fishing.
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 96
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/24/2007 8:19:57 AM
RELAX! Is that SO terrible? Maybe he was in a hurry and normally wouldn't have had time to write but had a second to say hi. Is it better to receive a quick note than none at all?? Sometimes, you ladies are SO petty, picky and tight-minded! Lighten up, and send the guy a quick "I'm great, thanks for asking, how about you?" and go from there. Open-mindedness can do wonders for increasing your dating options
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 97
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/24/2007 12:01:49 PM
Point well made!
Well as I've asked time and time again, "why do you think so many people are single?"

Many times it's because of their own silly, petty, picky and closed-minded ways/mindset.
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 98
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/25/2007 1:22:44 PM
Hate to state the obvious...but it works both is just as equally silly, petty, picky, and close-minded to be bullheaded about only sending a "Hi."

You just repeated what I was saying!

I was commenting on hugmeister's post above mine where he was stating that many ladies were being "silly, pretty, picky and closed-minded" when it came to e-mails only stating HI or HOW ARE YOU?
I was just reinforcing what he was saying (hence me mentioning the fact of so many single people out there because of their ways).

I'm not closed-minded or bullheaded about this issue @ all.
I respond to EVERY e-mail I receive. Even if she is a 1000 pound beached whale (j/k about the whale
Whether it's just a HI/HI, HOW ARE YOU? that's written, or something much more intricate, I always reply.
Afterall, I'm a very courteous person and was brought up with manners.

All jokes aside though, for me it doesn't matter what the person writes me.
HOWEVER, being a guy on a site where the number of guys outweighs the number of girls you kind of have to distinguish yourself apart from the rest (well, at least try) and one-liners like HI or HI, HOW ARE YOU? usually don't do it for most women.

My opening line would be Hi, how are you? But then I'll delve deeper and write something that would make them want to respond. I'd show that I wanted to hear back from them by showing that I wanted to get to know them better by asking questions or at least opening up topics for us to discuss.
 1Fish2Fish RedFishNewFish
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 99
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/27/2007 4:56:52 AM
OP: If this annoys you, why not go into your mail settings and change the
When a user first contacts you the message must be...
setting from
any size
to your choice of
or 300
characters? Easier done than said...
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 100
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/27/2007 5:35:20 AM
Lighten the f**k up people, it's just a greeting.

I know some women have gotten like a DOZEN of these kinds of emails, and it probably gets old after a while, but you have to understand that most guys have never been in this situation.

Actually, if guys _were_ to be in this siltation, they wouldn't be bitter or annoyed by it, because to a guy, tons of attention from women is NEVER, EVER, EVER a bad thing. EVER. All they have to do is click on one of these generic emails, take a quick glance at the profile pic to see if the girl is attractive, and pursue further if she is. It's simple, it's superficial, but it's the plain, honest truth of the mate/date-selection process (for most guys).

Women probably find the generic email a hell of a lot more annoying because it racks their brains to have to peruse and sift through all these candidates based on more than just looks; personality to them accounts for a lot too. That's why all these women are bellyaching about this; no man in his right mind would ever think of complaining about excessive attention from the opposite sex.
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