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 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 1801
People who just write how are you Page 73 of 78    (38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78)
Better to get a "how are you?" than nothing at all.

At least they took the time to do SOMETHING besides pass your profile up completely.
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 1802
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/19/2011 4:11:47 PM
I got a "how are you doing?" today. My response? Simply "Fine."
 Amanda-pooh-bear1993
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 1803
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/20/2011 9:48:08 AM
''How are you'' could be a way of starting a convo or like ''How is your day'' cant expect a guy to message you and write a big ol paragraph got to get into it and get to know the person then things could getting interesting then instead of him saying ''How are you'' he might change it up a bit and say ''Hey how are you doing or how was your weekend mine was great. Something like that and mostly if you dont even know the guys you can expect them to say alot. Hope everything i said makes sense lol
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 1804
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/20/2011 2:27:12 PM
^^^^ exactly amanda..

shame more women didnt think this way.
 loveriding1965
Joined: 10/15/2010
Msg: 1805
view profile
History
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/20/2011 7:36:37 PM
I agree. Read and delete. Shallow flattery gets the same response. Read and delete. I say, if you don't have something intelligent to say, move on, your not going to get a response anyway. Got love that block user button!
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 1806
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/21/2011 7:02:32 AM
^^^^^ Read and Delete? Really?

I have been contacted by many women, and that is all they ever say! It's either that or a simple "Hello". I see no problem with it, and after reading all the threads about people not getting messages, why the hell would you not go forth with that person just to see where it leads. Sometimes people are just as nervous on line as they are in person. Don't read too much into it....you may lose out on the one you have been looking for....sheesh!
 Therasak
Joined: 7/7/2012
Msg: 1807
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/20/2012 12:11:14 AM
I dont think its horrible. After all, its what you say when you see someone out on the street, well I do. :) It is alot better than 'hw r u' or any form of text writing.
I find it more annoying when someone says how are you, and after you answer, nothing...... My question would be why say how are you, and when someone answers, you ignore them. Dont say hi in the first place :)
 AnnB72
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 1808
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/20/2012 2:29:19 AM

why say how are you, and when someone answers, you ignore them.


Exactly. ^^^
Another reason I rarely reply to it.
If I do reply to it, it's because their profile depicted some actual intelligence beyond this. I do at least look at the profile.

I tried to set my mail filter at 100 characters, and you know what I got immediately after?
This:



"Hi, how are you?.........................................................................................
....................................................................

Cute, right - all the little dots?!
Rofl!
 c0ffeemate
Joined: 7/23/2010
Msg: 1809
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/20/2012 2:34:54 AM
When I first started sending the initial message - hard enough to do as a female sometimes - I used to make sure I had something from their profile and each message was tailored for the specific person I would write. After getting so many no-responses, I've started to put much less into any initial message I send. One or two lines and lately it seems 'how has your day been' is part of that. I see a lot more since my return here from the men's point of view as far as that initial contact.
Consider it as a simple ice breaker or a way to get your attention. A small nudge to say "hey I'm interested in you and would like the chance to get to know you better if you're interested enough to take the time to write me back".
 Therasak
Joined: 7/7/2012
Msg: 1810
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/20/2012 10:31:14 AM
Youre totally right Ann, I should of added reading their profile as well before answering that little hi how are you.. :)
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 1811
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/20/2012 12:12:46 PM

When I first started sending the initial message - hard enough to do as a female sometimes - I used to make sure I had something from their profile and each message was tailored for the specific person I would write. After getting so many no-responses, I've started to put much less into any initial message I send. One or two lines and lately it seems 'how has your day been' is part of that. I see a lot more since my return here from the men's point of view as far as that initial contact.


Welcome to our world. All of that effort, and my messages don't even get opened/read.

I saw in another thread that you don't get many messages. I am very surprised. If you had taken the left at Albuquerque and ended up in the northwest, I would have messaged you.
 OhSix
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 1812
view profile
History
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/20/2012 2:47:23 PM
Bwahahahaha I get a kick out of reading all these responses. Plus I have had the chance to experiment with this place like the petri dish it is, totally worth a giggle. Shocking fact but it doesn't matter if your first message is long winded or one word. If your pictures and profile add humidity to her g string you will get a response. period. Doesn't matter what rules there are according to her profile.

If the fact that you paying members get to view repeated unread/deleted notifications is not proof positive that the vast majority of women click on your name before your message I don't know what is. even better are those who come here saying they want a man to put in some effort and actually enforce a message minimum while themselves having zero interests and a whole lot of asdf in their profile. Even if you personalize a message and address items in their profile it limits the direction of conversation and so often becomes an exchange of interview questions instead (on the 1% chance you actually get a response) Or you will notice a tendency to answer only the most benign, least revealing inquiry you put forth. . Personally I always start with an offbeat question, usually something whimsical that popped into my head and took residence as the question of the day.

One of my favs recently has been " what's your favourite toe, and why?" It is something that is not asked every day and allows some outside of the box thinking. The most popular answer seems to be the big one. I have had a couple of pretty well justified arguments for the position . (Me,While the big toe is the ringleader of the foot I like the baby toe best. It gets to star in all the best dirty jokes and play the part of the little piggy who gets to go wee, wee, wee, all the way home. ) Word of note, if any of her response or profile indicate she may not be amused when the conversation does turn and you get asked what dirty jokes do not tell her she reminds you of said baby toe cause you will probably bang her on all the furniture in the living room.

If the fact that my message does not take a whole piece of dead tree to print is the sole reason they choose not to respond then great. I wouldn't want someone with unrealistic expectations anyways. Now if they have the ability to not only respond but expand and let the discussion branch out.... rare but fantastic. "How are you" is not a smart question. It doesn't require anything but one word to explain and standard social behaviour tells us to respond with "fine". That being said if the other party is interested and has the required crotch dampness factor they will make an avenue for dialogue such as "still burned out/ excited from the events last/next weekend" or actually find something in their day to talk about

For the person a couple pages back who asked about which gets better response rates I can say this. I stripped every detail imaginable out of my profile at one point leaving steal a car, dine n dash etc in the first date section. crafted a "form letter" that began along the lines of " Hello potential future disgruntled ex or cellmate" , contained no detail at all about me But inquired "if they could reload while hanging out the window of a moving vehicle since running out of ammo mid getaway is embarrassing and not the type of relationship I wish to have" and had astonishing response rates vs normal methods of messaging with an elaborate profile. I also left the profile blank and posted the "despised" shirtless bathroom picture as a main one. Needles to say several women did a fine job of filtering themselves by choosing that time to initiate contact and I would say an easy 50% had mention of no bathroom / shirtless pictures specified in their profiles. When I am in an "initiate conversation" mood I sometimes leave it visible but further down the pics to act as a filter for those who are too uptight and actually get offended by such simple things. Point being, while actually having a descriptive profile and interests may generate the occasional directed contact from someone seeking those specific things if you just want the opportunity to converse and explore things with the maximum number of people make it brief, make it funny, lose the profile.

You could pontificate in a first message like I have above or just say Hey.
facts are Hot in the recipients eyes = Response. doesn't matter if you are dumb like rock if hung like horse.

OhSix'
 c0ffeemate
Joined: 7/23/2010
Msg: 1813
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/20/2012 3:40:33 PM

I saw in another thread that you don't get many messages. I am very surprised. If you had taken the left at Albuquerque and ended up in the northwest, I would have messaged you.

Awww now see that's what I get for being geographically challenged lol. Thank you for the vote of confidence, quite nice of you. I just figure that for all who never reply to a message I've sent, they've saved me a bit of time and helped me dodge a bullet ^_^

On topic: Ohsix I disagree to a point with your logic however with that said had to give you credit for the toe question. I have written to a couple of men with sarcastic/funny/witty profiles (one had dumpster diving listed as a possible for first meet) so can see how a female would appreciate something written besides "I love hunting/fishing/camping/tail gating/chewing tobacco and the general tried and true 'no drama!' profiles :P
I certainly can't argue that the length of the message seems to matter, since I've written quite the paragraph, a simple hello how are you, and several attempts in between the two spectrums with little to no replies from the intended victi... uh, recipient.
*goes back to dodging bullets* :)
 chelseajkt1
Joined: 8/19/2010
Msg: 1814
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History
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/20/2012 6:58:10 PM
those that write only hi are worse.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 1815
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/20/2012 11:01:36 PM
i can only remember receiving perhaps one or two initial emails from interested women who said anything besides just "hi" or "hi, how r u" for the most part, people have nothing interesting to say.
 myname?
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 1816
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History
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/21/2012 1:43:16 PM
well....i hate that as well...it would take one month to find out how one person is and what they did in that particular day. It gets boring and it gets old....
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 1817
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/21/2012 1:48:27 PM
I am fine!
Thanks for asking.
I'd be even better if you were here now.

It's called conversation.

Serve
return serve.

Just keep the ball moving
and you will be playing dating tennis like the pros in no time.
:-P
 newwoman42
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 1818
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History
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/21/2012 1:57:28 PM
I don't usually answer not unless he is hot
 ana_karenina_
Joined: 11/8/2012
Msg: 1819
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/21/2012 10:31:29 PM
Those type of messages are boringgggg. I never reply to those. =]
 Calm_One
Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 1820
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History
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/22/2012 12:18:03 AM

Those type of messages are boringgggg. I never reply to those. =]

Come on! From someone who has a total of four short nonsensical sentences in her about me section ...how can you say that? I mean, what does a potential suitor have to talk about with you based on your profile? Oh yeah, you're a ninja. Boring!

I also think that a short message is appropriate at first. If a person sends a short message (Hi, how are you doing, you're cute, or whatever), check out their profile...if you think there might be a match, just send a short reply and let them take it from there.
Expecting the other person to do more at first when they don't know you at all...to me says you are just looking for attention.
In my opinion, if you need more than that to get started...you aren't serious about finding someone at all.
You know you could always stand up and take a chance yourself and contact the ones you're interested in first...
 Vestan__Pance
Joined: 6/28/2012
Msg: 1821
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/22/2012 5:34:52 AM
I don't bother messaging the women who have pretty much nothing in their profile, but it does make me chuckle that the one line they do have is the don't message me with "hi" or "how are you" in the profile. Well since you've given them no information what do you expect? Have a boring profile, expect boring messages because all you are doing is trading off how you look.

If I can't think of a single thing to write about after reading their profile I just don't message them. There is a pretty significant number of these I can't be bothered type profiles in my area. Even worse the ones that complain of having to complete four whole sentences. I mean is anyone's life that empty they can't construct a profile of at least four sentences? I wonder if guys are just as bad.
 AnnB72
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 1822
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/22/2012 5:52:26 AM

In my opinion, if you need more than that to get started...you aren't serious about finding someone at all.
You know you could always stand up and take a chance yourself and contact the ones you're interested in first...


If I can be bothered to write more than "Hi" when I write to a man, I would like him to be bothered to do so when he writes to me.

As for 'getting a conversation started;
when I first joined this site, I did write back to the 'Hi, how are you' messages. And do you know how that went?
Him: "Hi, how are you?"
Me: "I'm great! It's such a beautiful day today - the sun is out! I noticed on your profile you like to water ski? I have never tried it, but it looks like fun!"
Him: "Yes"
Me: "Wow. I'd love to try that sometime. I didn't see much else on your interests list...do you enjoy any other activities?"
Him: "It's fun"

Ok... I'm done after this. All I have to say is WHAT conversation? Would I want this man to call me after this? Offer him my number? No. If this is any indication of how he thinks, then this is going nowhere and was a bit of wasted time for someone who is actually IS looking 'seriously'. Intellect is part of what I'm searching for.
I do, however, still occasionally respond to a 'Hi' message, usually when I'm bored enough to do so and just to 'check' (because I do still believe there just could be something of substance eventually), but they still go the exact same way.
As I mentioned earlier, however, I have now set my mail restrictions to 100 characters minimum just to weed out the 'bored' lookers (that's how it comes across, or those playing a numbers game), and as you can see from my example above, how they still get past it.
Good grief! If they can think of a clever way to get past it, do you think they could come up with ONE more sentence instead?
 Calm_One
Joined: 12/17/2004
Msg: 1823
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History
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/22/2012 7:34:33 AM

when I first joined this site, I did write back to the 'Hi, how are you' messages. And do you know how that went?
Him: "Hi, how are you?"
Me: "I'm great! It's such a beautiful day today - the sun is out! I noticed on your profile you like to water ski? I have never tried it, but it looks like fun!"
Him: "Yes"
Me: "Wow. I'd love to try that sometime. I didn't see much else on your interests list...do you enjoy any other activities?"
Him: "It's fun"

Ok... I'm done after this. All I have to say is WHAT conversation?

Yes, if that's the best they could do with your responses , then there is probably no match there.
Is that really the way it goes every time someone contacts you with a short message though?
I do think I understand why most normal people (both men and women who are really looking for the right person for them and not just casting out a wide net in hopes of scoring a hot babe or two or wanting to pump up their ego with lots of attention) don't want to send a long drawn out first message.
I think that the high probability of the message's recipient not even replying back at all... is what would make most of us
want to keep it short. It probably stings a little less when we don't put ourselves out there very far at first.

I have a friend who is on a few dating websites and gets quite a bit of messages from women.
He says that every one of the messages are very short (one might be "your cute!", another "How long have you lived here?", still another one "I plan on visiting your city soon...would you like to show me around?", sometimes it's just "Hey"), so both sexes an be guilty of that. lol
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 1824
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History
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/22/2012 7:46:14 AM
I message, "Quick, look behind you!!!!"

I don't get many replies but at least I feel I've gotten their attention.
 AnnB72
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 1825
People who just write how are you
Posted: 11/22/2012 7:56:39 AM

so both sexes an be guilty of that. lol

True. No one has the market cornered on that one, lol.


I message, "Quick, look behind you!!!!"

Rofl! I actually think that's funny!
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