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 imokurok77
Joined: 6/2/2014
Msg: 918
People who just write how are you Page 78 of 78    (38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78)

This has nothing to do with being negative. I simply stated the photos and profile is far more important to a man's success than what he writes in his initial email.


I may be in the minority but I weigh initial message content a bit more heavily than profile text. Particularly if there is a mismatch - if a guy has a wonderfully written profile but his initial message is full of typos, mistakes, text speak, etc I wonder if he even wrote his profile text.

I dated someone for over 2 years that I 'met' here that had very little info in his profile and no pictures. But his initial message (and subsequent ones) just drew me in.

That being said, since we've split up (2 years now) and I've been dating again, I've tried to err on the side of giving people a chance vs eliminating them straight away -- if the profile is good and the message is 'eh', I'll respond. If the message is good and the profile is 'eh' I'll also respond. It's not like I'm pledging my life or life savings to someone by spending a little time getting to know someone.

When I'm fishing (right now I'm not, I'm in the 'getting to know someone who seems great' stage) I try to have ALL reasonable elements in place - recent pics that I'm happy with, a full profile that shows me AND send messages that have content. Why not give yourself the BEST shot?
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 919
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/8/2014 7:01:16 PM
I've tried to err on the side of giving people a chance vs eliminating them straight away -- if the profile is good and the message is 'eh', I'll respond. If the message is good and the profile is 'eh' I'll also respond. It's not like I'm pledging my life or life savings to someone by spending a little time getting to know someone.


Kudos on your improved approach. If only everyone else would adopt the same.

One down, 40 million to go.........(or however many members there are actually on here now)
 gingham1
Joined: 7/4/2014
Msg: 920
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/8/2014 7:50:06 PM
"How are you?" is okay for the first email. But if the next few emails don't have more substance, then I will lose interest.
 pinkchick52
Joined: 1/9/2014
Msg: 921
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/11/2014 3:17:36 AM
EEEEk I do this? : (
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 922
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/11/2014 4:10:27 AM
Ok......I have tried on a couple of occasions to answer these messages.....but I have ended up with conversations that were more difficult and painful to get going than giving birth!

Now I am sure there are some wonderful men that send out these initial messages and I may be losing out.....but I am finding the older I get the more outspoken I get and the less patience I have......it happens! :)

As a matter of fact......sometimes just for the fun of it......when out in public and a stranger asks me how I am doing today.....I just may answer truthfully and say....."Pretty crappy today, actually.....thanks for asking" It can be quite amusing to see their reactions! :)


Hmmm.......maybe the next message I get like this......maybe I will go into detail about every little freakin thing that has gone wrong that day....and then end it with...."Thanks for letting me vent......So......How was your day?" lol
 oldie_but_hottie
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 923
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History
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/11/2014 9:18:52 AM
That's my opening line and my favourite one to get. What else is one supposed to start a conversation with. Some times I get no response, sometimes I get a "Good, how are you?" in return, which is great because then I can elaborate on my state of mind at the moment, and the odd time I get a more detailed response. I think the the "How are you line" is the perfect start for a conversation. But I'm in Canada and we may just be more polite ...
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 924
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/11/2014 9:39:30 AM
You know, I'm ok with a quick message, from someone I'm ATTRACTED to.

This whole thing kinda boils down to a universal truth. Women are not as forgiving as men.

If a woman taps me on the shoulder, or sends a 'copy paste boilerplate' message? Yeah, I'll quickly determine if she's 'hot' and respond accordingly. That makes me shallow, huh?

Yet, a man sends a one liner or a complement and he's a pig. Go figure.
 imokurok77
Joined: 6/2/2014
Msg: 925
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/11/2014 9:53:39 AM
^^^

Or maybe men and women are just unforgiving about different things? Maybe what men and women are ATTRACTED to is different.

It's often seemed to me (on these forums at least) is that what men deem unforgivable is:

1) a woman being unattractive
OR
2) a woman being attractive who isn't in to them.

You said yourself that you are forgiving IF the woman is 'hot' (which I assume you judge by her pictures). Maybe we determine if a man is attractive not ONLY based on 'is he hot' in pictures, but by some other set of attributes (like how he communicates).

I also think you are cherry picking a bit to find the WORST in 'us' (women) - maybe I missed it, but I don't see every or most women saying 'he's a pig'.

Heck, I've tried to offer a positive slant at times, it's only my perspective, but positing something positive on here that doesn't go with the 'bash of the day' just seems to be ignored. The posts from women who say the negative things (that make me cringe as well) are the ones that some guys seem to seize upon.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 926
People who just write how are you
Posted: 7/11/2014 10:03:13 AM
I was being facetious and sardonic.

It's the whole Mars/Venus conundrum:)

You know, men are like bluetooth and women like wifi. Men pair with anything close by, while a woman connects with the strongest signal.

It's all in jest...
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