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 ergonomical
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 10
Ideas on feminine naturePage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Mr cjgregory.
I must say that your insight is revolutionary. I have never heard this expressed so eloquently and I truly enjoyed reading what you had to say. I personally was trapped in a marriage that left me feeling ugly and wanting to hide from the world. After I freed myself from that I met a man who was wise and caring enough to let me know the outside package is not nearly as attractive as what comes from within, As the years have passed I no longer fret over my looks. I just let the light shine, and when it shines on the right armour, my knight will come, and off into the sunset we go. I am feminine because that's how I was created, but I did not become that way until I had an attitude adjustment. Again I appreciate what you said, and I hope my fellow sisters can hear the true message.
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 13
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 7/20/2007 12:44:27 PM
msg 12, there is missing the point and there is distracting from one obvious one.

 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 14
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Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 7/20/2007 1:08:57 PM
I'm not sure if this is the feminine nature, but I have spent some time thinking about and working to achieve… my authentic voice. I’m not sure I can do it justice at the moment...

It really is, I think, about letting go of Ego and any attachments we have to “how I should be” or “how life should go” and simply relaxing into being who I am, warts and all. The difficult part is getting out of your own way so you can be who you already are.

I accept who I am in both my greatness and my weakness. I am not perfect and I will never have all of the answers. In authentically accepting that, I no longer have to put any energy into wearing a mask, or “looking good”. I’m no longer in conflict with myself or with how others’ view me. It doesn’t mean I give up and stop growing as a person, in fact, it actually frees me up to be even more engaged in who I am as a person and what I really think, feel and need.

The mistakes I make with myself and others are now just something that I clean up. They aren’t things that I have to hide or project blame onto something or someone else. I own them and they inform me, teach me about who I am and how life works. My weaknesses and mistakes become a gift to me, because they inevitably have come from a place where I lost touch with my authentic self and now I have the opportunity to reconnect and clean it up.

The walls I once built up to protect me from hurt and to hide my failings are no longer necessary. Nor is the energy I once put into keeping my fortress strong. The paradox is whatever wall we put up to protect ourselves on one end, also blocks out some joy at the other end of the pipe. To keep part of life out also stops some life from getting in.

Because I accept that I am a fallible human being, I become more human, if that makes any sense. I see and accept others as equally human, with their own collection of greatness and weakness.

Letting go of my Ego opens my heart and my willingness to be more compassionate, more caring… both to myself and to others. I am able to reach out to others more generously, I’m easier to be with and I like myself and others more. Paradoxically, the more open and vulnerable I am able to become, the more successful I become in my life, both professionally and personally. The secret isn’t about holding on, it is about letting go.
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 16
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 7/20/2007 1:32:28 PM
There are men with a feminine nature... maybe one of them may be of more interest to you... ?
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 19
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 7/20/2007 4:28:15 PM
When the femme fairy comes every week to do all my work... so I can sit around combing my hair, painting my toenails pink... shopping, cooking, cleaning and doing all my work...... so I can just REVEL in my femininity.... I'll consider what options are available.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 22
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Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 7/23/2007 11:51:54 AM
If I had to identify one of the many factors, the nature of a woman is the connections she makes. She is connected to who she is as a person, connected with her body and from this inner strength, she reaches out and makes connections with other people in the world. I think that is what you are sensing… someone who is centered and connected with themselves… who likes who they are and doesn’t have to prove or hide certain aspects.


So if she could get rid of all the “new age” think and realizes that it hasn’t worked and that she can still be herself and be a woman that radiates feminine, she will easily have what she desires most.


I’m not entirely certain what you mean by “new age think” but I’ll take a stab at where I might have seen it…

In the corporate halls, there are some women who have felt they needed to be “more like a man” in order to be heard, respected, competitive, “play the game in a man’s world”. They are respected for their work and their brains, but are often hard to be with. They are often the ones who have been labeled b.itches, the “ice queen” ~ often unfairly, because, for some of them, when they walked away from the work environment and changed out of the work persona, they slipped back into being more feminine.

Others keep in on like a mantle and view the world rather suspiciously, as if someone, anyone, is going to leap out and knock them at any time. It is this suspicion, vigilance, competitiveness and striving that makes these women a bit hard to “be with”. Perhaps a sense that people will view woman as “being weak” rather than different, and they constantly must be on alert to prove that they are not weak. Not a very relaxing space, nor a particularly powerful one.

It’s a tough situation for a woman to be in. In many ways, although times are certainly changing in this regard, the corporate world does have unwritten rules that would be easier for someone who has played team sports to pick up on… to just “know”.

When I’ve walked through the testosterone jungle, I realized quite quickly, rather intuitively, that I could never be “more like a man’. That in the attempt to pick up whatever that was, I would be moving away from what my personal, natural strengths are. I can’t say that I consciously thought of them as “female strengths”, just my own strengths. But the realization did mean that I was able to achieve professional success and still be very true to my own self expression of who I am in the world. Arguably, that I was being very much myself gave me greater success because people valued my brains and my work, but they also LIKED being around me.

It is much the same in personal relationships, or so I think. I have no desire to prove my “equality”… I'm not, and never will be “equal” to a man, if what people mean by that is “the same”. I am different. I am different from every other person on the planet. Women who are constantly on the look out for someone putting them down or disrespecting them, are the woman who are coming from a place where they feel inferior, and that is why, or so it seems to me, they do this dance with equality or “you are not the boss of me” like a petulant eight year old.

If someone says “you’re stupid” and you believe internally, that you ARE smart, your reaction will be “WTF is with this crazy person?” and not be bothered with it. If you internally believe you’re not that smart, you will be much more highly reactive with a need to prove this person wrong; proving them wrong “saves” you from being stupid.

Not sure that this gets at where you’re looking OP, but it is a fascinating look into “the way of being”.
 asianace10
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 24
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 7/24/2007 6:52:09 AM
Yes this is a beautiful thread; and as a woman I have observed the very same thing in some of my female friends and even in my mother and it is indeed a very attractive quality; I have seen it in some moms at the mall or at church when they are with their kids and they have a calm demeanor, and pretty voice speaking patiently or firmly with their kids resolving or guiding them and it is indeed beautiful; I would like to think that this comes from love and spirituality that abundantly exists in some women, I know my mother is very much like what the author of this thread has described. Thanks for the reminder.
 ejluvtolaugh
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 29
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 7/29/2007 8:55:25 PM
I can identify with what you are speaking of.

I have encountered individuals that had that definate persona in both genders and do have to say that when you recognize it...that you know that it is not a put on but something from the depths of that individual.

I feel that a person that has themselves stabilized and 'in tune' with who they are and shows respect to themselves and others retain this.

I was told that I was a tower of femininity but...a quick look in the mirror I really didn't see it or feel that I was...but...hey... if someone else sees it and appreciated it...why would I not accept that it could possibly be true in someone else's eyes.
And the thing about when I was told this...lol... I was in the middle of changing my oil and air filter on my car!!! So... it definatelly has nothing to do with the what you are wearing or doing!
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 30
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Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 7/30/2007 5:48:22 AM

Do you experience your partners depth growing once you find 'double' (sex and depth) intimacy?

Yes, sex alters how you experience each other, opens up another layer. There is a closer connection developed through the intimacy, perhaps it is the endorphins? lol

Beyond that, and I don't know if this is true for most women, but it is for me, during the periods when I'm not sexually active I don't feel as alive or sensual. Almost as if the chi, the energy, the life force slows down.
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 35
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Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 7/31/2007 11:07:00 AM
Good post, OP.


What goes on in her head may be total frustration in dealing with a man who wants an object, not a person and not being heard... which can turn any women into a bytch.
There is a feminine mind, too. A woman who can flirt with a guy, but not give him what he wants, just because he wants it, but because he's EARNED it. Like making a genuine effort. Not much fun playing a woman if the cost of sex is more than a high-class prostitute, and she's not giving it up to you because she thinks there's a relationship at the end of the rainbow, so you're not fooling her. Only fun in that, is if you REALLY want her, as a REAL person. No players in that one.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 36
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Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 7/31/2007 7:44:39 PM
I can understand your point missy60. It is different for me tho'. I've had a lifelong fascination with "what is being a Human Being?"; there is poetry and tragedy in our natures. I enjoy reflecting on why we do the things we do, have learned a thing or two along the way and I can think of worse things to hold my interest and occupy my time.

I think more of us might be better off if, in addition to the excellent list you provided, we attempted to live our lives as a creative self expression. Somehow that just feels more powerful and engaged to me.
 awakening moon
Joined: 10/31/2006
Msg: 37
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 8/2/2007 9:54:04 AM
The key here would be that she would have to be free enough to see that deep.

I feel that this is the essence of the Feminine Nature; as I speak for myself . A "woman's nature" is to nurture- body, soul, heart, mind- The Goddess Sense- Reflection of Nature, holds up the Mirror, and holds "space" (Body, Soul, Heart, Mind...) for those who will come; and, ripe with anticipation, an all knowing Queen accepts that there is a Season for all things

Soul connection: An erotic core emotion, as we recognize a fragment of "ourself", and long to play- roll and tumble- becoming one again. Sexual connection: The intimacy of the physical body as it joyfully reconnects with it's Self. AAhhh, that Momment!

I have many close friends that know me very well. But, the Soul/Physical Body connection- risking all to welcome become vunerable - sharing revealing my 'totality persona' is the physical experience of my Spirit. Not to say that "I" am my "Body"; but, This Goddess recognizes that I am a Spiritual Being enjoying a Physical Experience.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 38
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 8/2/2007 11:16:44 AM

But the key I've found to both the male and female radiance of persona is that it is a natural extension of their being, they aren't trying to project it, nor call attention to it, they simply were born that way, or discovered that light within themselves along the course of their lives and try to live by it for their own well-being.

You can usually spot the fakers as they spend an inordinate amount of time trying to emulate something others are simply blessed with naturally, and they're often misinterpret what aspect makes them alluring and play up the wrong attribute anyway...


Tiger ~~

It is natural, for both sexes. But every human has it. It's just that we let so many other things get in the way of it that it often cannot struggle through. And even if natural, it must be claimed by each sex, and nurtured. I know I've encountered it when I find myself thinking "That is a good man [or woman]" --



 ejluvtolaugh
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 39
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 8/8/2007 12:27:58 AM
A poem that comes to mind for me... is by Maya Angelo

Phenomenal Woman.. Phenomenally ... OP, read it if you haven't already.
 ejluvtolaugh
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 40
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 8/8/2007 5:55:40 AM

Fluctuations in hormone levels affect behaviors and emotions. When a woman is ovulating she feels very feminine. The rest of the month is a mixed bag. Women are loathe to admit this but it really can't be denied. I'm sure many will do just that though.


What about after a hysterectomy...not ovulating anymore??? Not taking any hormone medications... and it still exists?? I am not on that so called 'rollercoaster' and handling and seem to be 'even keeled' all the time. I believe that it is hooked into how happy you are within yourself.. how much you truly love and understand yourself. Whatever you feel you can project...what frame of mind.. the whole mixture of it all. Attitude, servitude, ........................ how you view life and those around you.

Its a spiritual/mentality/emotional sort of thing...to me.....and I feel better if I feel feminine. Not to say that I don't show different degrees of it...but it is visible.
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 46
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 7/31/2010 7:46:33 PM
I eventually realized that a feminine nature is influenced by the state that the woman is in mentally or “spiritually”.

How's this for an analogy:

I'm a b*tch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 47
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Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 7/31/2010 10:01:58 PM
I'm not deluded so I'm sure this post is just a veiled "I don't get women" the usual, which the bottom line is I don't understand why I don't have a woman, why I can't get women interested in me...feminine nature...what they hell is that?
It's about what the OP has some deluded fantasy about the woman he wants and is seeking, there is no such thing as "feminine nature" same as there's no "male ...okay I'll go there, he-man male nature".
As if, this is material for one of my comedy bits I'm writing, but it's not that interesting or compelling.
This is something the OP needs to talk to his mother about, fat chance, if he has sisters. It's like Loch Ness....it's doesn't exist.
Women are women, how and when we are and enjoy being feminine and sexy...that's way beyond the OP's level of understanding. To the OP, you're in the deep pool, when you should be in the shallow end.
If, by all the laws of reason, you did encounter a fabulously feminine woman, there is no chance in hades she'd pay any attention to you. You have no clue about what being feminine is, and it's a delusion because there is no such thing as a feminine nature, just as if a woman said, pfft....get real and be a man. You wouldn't know what that was either. No woman is going to be feminine in your area code.
 anewstartforme
Joined: 4/4/2010
Msg: 48
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 8/1/2010 11:23:46 AM
Let me start out by saying I haven't read all the posts but just wanted to put my experience down because I was on the other side of this. I met a man who so oozed maleness, strength, testosterone, etc that I was completely infatuated with him so I can understand the OP's emotions when meeting a woman who exudes femininity. After a year together things happened (his infidelity, pathological lying, etc) to end our relationship. I learned that one needs to really look beyond that for other factors as well to have a successful relationship. I am currently in a relationship where he does not come across as the most manly man but he is a wonderful human being and the more I get to know him, the deeper my feelings have become.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 49
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 8/1/2010 11:58:57 AM
...and as normal psychiatric, psychology based writings and publishing through articles and self-help books are fundamentally flawed...


1) Calling all psychiatric/psychology "flawed" shows your true colors.

2) A lot of what you discuss may have to do with gender roles.
Every human has:
- a physical sex (male, female)
- a psychological gender (masculine, feminine)
- a sexual attraction (male, female)

In most people, they line up according to two models:
male body, masculine gender, female attraction
female body, feminine gender, male attraction
In this case, people KNOW THEIR ROLES and social interaction is pretty simple.
=======
In some people the variables are different:
male body, masculine gender, male attraction
female body, feminine gender, female attraction
When this happens, people HAVE DIFFICULTY identifying the gender role of the individual, and have trouble relating to them in social situations.
=======
In still others, it's even different:
male body, feminine gender, male attraction
female body, masculine gender, male attraction
When this happens, people are out and out BAFFLED as to gender roles and sexuality of the individual, and have trouble relating to them in almost any context.

Now to make matters worse, the intensity of each attribute is variable from person to person:
- Some men LOOK more chiseled or ACT more masculine or SEEK more sex
- Some women LOOK more curvy or ACT more feminine or ACCEPT more sexual offers

== In your travels you encounter women who may LOOK very curvy, but do not ACT quite as feminine as you'd like, or perhaps REJECT all sexual cues from all people.

How do you relate to such a person? In OP's case, he's chosen to ignore them in the future. Another person may be relieved to find a partner who isn't focused on sex all the time or isn't fussy about nails and perfume.

Just because OP doesn't know how to cope is no reason to slam all of psychiatric/psychology.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 50
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 11/11/2012 3:53:19 PM

I honestly can't say I've ever met any feminine lawyers, have you?

Yes. Me.
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 51
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Posted: 11/11/2012 4:03:25 PM
OP, you are completely mixed up. Women who don't particularly seem set in to sexuality land are absolute tigers. Supra-hotties that create traffic problems and fights can be dull. Get to know them and they're exchanging snowballs.
 AnnB72
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 52
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 11/11/2012 6:14:57 PM

If life was easy we would all be prancing through the tulips.


I think I'm going to plant some tulips this spring... that sounds like fun.
;)
 privat33r
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 53
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Posted: 11/11/2012 9:44:54 PM
Erghh.. I bit on an old thread again.. Why can't I remember to check dates?
 strawberryrippleicecream
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 54
Ideas on feminine nature
Posted: 11/11/2012 10:12:24 PM
well I'm a vegetarian - and I'm adjusting to things that are causing me - distress inside.
Up down so frequently at night - a bit of a night mare.
However a woman is many things - and who she is is not defined by a man.
Those things I'm experiencing will pass - when i am able to live more accustomed to myself - in the mean time its so embarassing - so Im until I adjust Im on my tod
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