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 Perikaryon
Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 52
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-standPage 9 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Reference the male pill, I wouldn't trust a guy who told me he was taking it so i'd still insist on a condom.


Not applicable if a woman wanted a child

2 lovebirds both on the pill and on a saucy one-night stand romp.....

Whoever is telling porkies.. patter of tiny feet..the other will know who's fibbing instantly.

After all...male pill...the guy can choose who he wants to get preggers....
Social ramifications are going to be widespread & a vast improvement on the current situation.
Virtually kiss goodbye to unwanted babies & abortion overnight.
 Stevie1978
Joined: 4/17/2007
Msg: 56
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 7/24/2007 5:38:39 PM
I had a mate who was in this situation. Although he didn't stay with her he does everyting he can for the little lad, both financially and emotionally, despite getting a world of grief from his missus (who he met after said incident).

Has has now had a child with his current partner and still treats both chilfdren the same, though neither mother makes his life easy which I feel is very unfair cos he is only trying to do his best by both kids.
 aquaplane
Joined: 9/22/2006
Msg: 58
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 7/24/2007 5:59:20 PM
I've read as far as message 6.

No more needs saying really.

When I first saw the title I thought "can of worms".

Thoughts, If there is joint responsibility there is joint decision making, as far as a shag goes it's clear, it takes two to tango. When it gets to conception the empasis leans heavily towards the girl as far as decision making goes.

If the lad has no say in the decision whether to keep the pregnancy I would tend to say that the lass has taken responsibility, may be brutal but she knows what she is taking on and that she has no support from the lad. And should she be suprised?

I may go and read more of the thread but I doubt it, they keep telling us to answer the OP.

VV how on topic do you want me to be, I was talking about single shag senarios wasn't that clear?vv
 Perikaryon
Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 68
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 7/25/2007 5:04:34 AM
Are men having flings & one-night stands with clueless toddlers or blow-up dolls? No... they're engaging in sexual intercourse with grown adult women.

The same women who are happy to 'accept' the awesome power & responsibility of potentially condemning a man to life imprisonment for rape. After all..'when a woman stays "Stop" or "No"...the man must stop.' The man will serve 100% of the sentence...not shared 50/50.

Yet these same women will try and shift 50% of the 'blame' for pregnancy onto men.

One can only conclude that since society deems them responsible adults and bestows such 'power' in them, that they are also fully aware of the responsibilities and consequences they choose to accept when they spread 'em.

Adult women are fully aware:

A mans penis is designed for one thing....and men die 20 years earlier

A womans womb is designed for one thing...and women live 20 years longer.

Men don't whinge about dying earlier or 'attempt to blame women' for it...tis basic anatomy and the way life (or death) is.

You spread 'em.....Your choice. (unless you're a blow-up doll)

 Perikaryon
Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 71
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 7/25/2007 6:30:40 AM
Evidently the 'pamper-the-pampered' brigade ladies would have us ignore the basic facts of millions of years of human evolution...right up to the present day.

From Adam & Eve...men have never held clubs, axes, arrows, muskets to womens' heads for the state of 'pregnancy' to occur, and men are not holding 9mm pistols to their heads today.

Pregnancy is not a simple matter of a man sticking his thumb in a womans ear....it takes a bit more thought and effort than that.

How simple & obvious can it be??...the condition of pregnancy occurs because a woman chooses to 'take the seed', just as the condition of obesity occurs because someone chooses to spend ten years shoving hamburgers down their neck.

So who is responsible?? the 'seed' or the hamburger manufacturers??

FFS...laughable.
 Perikaryon
Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 74
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 7/25/2007 8:32:32 AM
Most, if not all women, must feel their intelligence is being insulted by attempts at 'idiot-proofing' them.
Are they advocating that prior to saucy romps, men give women a swift 'birds & the bees' talk before hitting the sheets?? FFS
Seems some women cannot handle the simple fact that they get themselves pregnant by choosing to spread 'em.
Just as a man chooses to get himself clinically obese by shovelling burgers & guzzling booze.

Just as Mr Racist Scumbag chooses to get himself killed by strolling through Moss Side hurling racist insults, Ms Silly Lady will get herself preggers by choosing intercourse.

The level of social interraction is similar.

Mr Scumbag will stay alive by exercising prudent judgement, self-control ,avoiding the 'danger zone'...and choosing not to do it.
Ms Silly Lady will stay 'unpregnant' by exercising similar personal qualities, avoiding the 'seed zone'...and choosing not to take it.

After all, one is equipped with racist hatred, the other is equipped with a womb. And presumably, they both know it.
Responsibility? stay alive or get preggers...their choice.

 bootielicious
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 78
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 7/25/2007 3:43:23 PM
I think the point or the original question has been misinterpretted slightly by some. It is asking if both parties are responsible. It doesn't state how the outcome came about, there are a zillion scenarios that could have taken place to get the end result. If you have sex be it unprotected or not with a stranger or a friend that is intended to be a 'one off' and the result is a pregnancy then both are equally responsible unless they have discussed contraception prior to the sex and agreed that protection is being used in some form.

Yes there are several ways in which a woman can take contraception, but there isn't one out there that doesn't have an adverse reaction and thrombosis is one that springs to mind that can be dangerous, it also causes weight gain in many cases. The pill can often be rendered useless if sick or during a tummy bug, if you forget to take it you can be buggered. The coil can go wrong, the arm insertion thingy magigies I was considering using myself, but heard so many horror stories it totally put me off and the depo injection while affective stops your periods and can take up to 2 years before you can get pregnent again, which isn't good if you're an old bugger like me and may want children still.

So... bearing in mind none of these will protect either party from disease although men may only have one or two forms of protection they do have the best one available, especially when talking about sex with a person you don't have a clue about.

If as a man you are faced with a woman begging you for unprotected sex and won't have it any other way then she is taking 100% responsibility, otherwise it belongs to both parties.

So there!!!!!

I get told never to assume and neither should you!!!
 tiggerthetrigger
Joined: 4/23/2007
Msg: 80
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 7/25/2007 6:06:21 PM
this is a hard question a lot of men think that birth control is a womans job but some do take the responsability. on the other hand unfortunatley many a baby has been concived and terminated without a mans knowledge or consent and also many men have said that they do not wish to continue with a pregnancy and the woman has gone ahead and gave birth women think they have the right to choose because they have to give birth but what if the man wants to take full responsabillity at the end of the pregnancy should a woman then go ahead this is one of those arguments that could go round and round in circles forever the only answer is never at any point to have sex unless you are prepared to face the concequences but we are only human and mistakes will be made but so long as those mistakes are embraced learned from and loved and nurtured xx
 Perikaryon
Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 81
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 7/25/2007 10:21:03 PM
Those who are incapable of 'contributing' to this thread without specifically insulting other posters, should refrain from so doing, or their ill-informed gobby insults and misandric rantings may drag the thread into the gutter where they themselves doubtless dwell amidst the sewer discharge and dead pond-life. (ahem).

There is a difference between 'responsible and 'responsibility'. An individual man has no responsibility whatsoever for the condition of 'pregnancy'.

A man is solely responsible for his physical status just as a woman is for her physical condition.

Feeble attempts at linking the concepts of 'responsible/responsibility' with pregnancy are in actuality a transparent attempt at shifting BLAME.
"who can a woman blame for getting herself pregnant?"

An 'intercourse example' for the truly thick:

A man choosing to put his neck on the line as the train enters the tunnel only has himself to blame if he expects the train to jump over his head.
 Perikaryon
Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 83
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 7/27/2007 4:54:55 PM

If they didnt, the resposibilty would fall back on the state to pay for yet another unplanned mistake. And I certainly dont want to pay for it thanks.


THEY? as in male AND female??

The women on the 'male contraception' thread are queuing up to confirm that it's HER responsibility.

So What's it gonna be??
A different thread...similar topic...but a different verdict?
 bootielicious
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 84
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 7/27/2007 5:22:38 PM
I think you will find that the women on the other thread are admitting that they wouldn't trust a man they had just met to be honest about taking the male pill so would still want to be taking protection. If only men felt the same way when a woman told them they were taking protection, that is the ones who bother to ask!!!!!
 bootielicious
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 86
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 7/28/2007 2:46:33 AM
Tin Hat Man I think that is part of the point. Men have been trusting women or assuming that the woman is taking protection and having sex with total strangers knowing that should she fall pregnent it's her own fault as she 'should have'. This is a luxury that men have as they can wipe their hands of the responsibility afterward knowing that they probably will never see the female again and won't be left with the consequences.

The woman... yes a certain percentage will be taking the same risk and know the score and if they get pregnent it's their fault as they new no protection was being used and continued. However... some may have used protection (condom) and it broke, some may have been told he would retract, some may have been drunk (given to her by the male in order to have sex) and some may have been given something without their knowledge. These women may have trusted the male and beleived that it would not result in pregnancy where it has done. This is when I think the man should take half the responsibility. If an accident happens, it happens to both of them, you can't just shrug your shoulders and say, oh well... I tried! Yes if she is aware it burst then take the morning after pill, but what if you had sex 2 or 3 times and didn't realise one of them had burst? etc

I think the male pill is a great idea and if it came out I think all men that don't want babies should take it. Anyone who totally trusts someone they have just met is mad, so why do men do it so readily? Because they can walk away, we can't!
 bootielicious
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 87
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:37:00 AM
lol tattoo lurch glad i'm not having a one night fling with you i'd be dead upset if it was only going to happen the once. Don't most people squeeze every last ounce of energy out of a one night stand cos they don't know when they will likely do it again? I meant 2 or 3 times in the same night. You know like when the used condoms are thrown in all 4 corners of the room in the passion (not my room I might add) and left for him to pick up off the wall the next day.

Even when I am in a relationship once isn't enough for me. Maybe thats why i'm single I warn everyone out that I was dating lol. I'm still laughing am I really on my own here?
 Perikaryon
Joined: 10/13/2006
Msg: 91
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 8/11/2007 10:48:09 AM
As for the posters who claim its only up to the woman....wake up and get real..as i said..unless a gun was pointed at the mans head..then he is just as responsible

Laughable. Women on the 'male contraception' thread are queuing up to confirm it's the womans responsibility if she gets preggers.
The extent to which some women in society deny the existence of their own anatomy defies belief.

Still confused?
Herald the long awaited and ground-breaking Childrens Act 1989:
People might rightly assume that such a 'nobly-titled' Act would protect children...but what do we see in Section One:

The rule of law that a father is the natural guardian of his legitimate child is abolished.

Well...that's protecting children......taking a childs natural guardian right out of the equation in the first paragraph.

Responsibility duly defined....Women might wanna bear Section One in mind when they spread 'em.
 JulietJuliet
Joined: 6/7/2007
Msg: 99
Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 8/14/2007 8:17:27 AM
I think the question should be "Should a woman opt for abortion to save the guy the responsibility of having a child he didn't plan on"
If the woman refuses to use contraception and doesn't want a guy to use condom's, then the ball is in the guy's court. If he chooses to still sleep with a woman minus protection, then yes he must face the consequences.
It's easy to say 'get rid of it', but the guy doesn't have to have his body mutilated, nor does he have to face the emotional pain.
If the woman makes a choice to keep the baby, then the guy (as the father) should provide for that child.
It's a bit like saying, "Oh I was drunk at the time and it wasn't meant to happen".....there is NO excuse.
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 107
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 11/7/2010 10:40:31 AM
"as soon as a man has unprotected sex he is consenting to having a baby x"

does that still apply if she says she's on the pill but she isn't?
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 111
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 11/7/2010 11:53:10 AM
i've known of all sorts.
married couple. he wants to get things a bit settled first, she decides otherwise.
she points the finger at one of her one night stands because she thinks he has the best prospects.
wouldnt be the first time a woman has told more than one they are the father and got them to pay.

it's pretty clear who has the whip hand.
someone said who would believe a bloke who said he was on the pill, funny that.
i've known girls in the past that openly said they wanted a baby but didn't want the bloke around, just wanted him to keep them.

i don't blame any woman that decides to get an abortion in spite of what the guy wants, talk as we all know is cheap. i'll do this, i'll do that ...yeah yeah! how long will that last!

as we've seen on these forums a woman with a kid will often get ignored as will blokes, esp if the x partner is still around.

and the x's new partner will be quite happy that you still see each other and he/she takes the kid/s out etc, who you trying to kid?

a pill for blokes would be good for those that don't want to be caught out by lies.
but honesty would be best all round.

of course they are "both" ultimately responsible or should that be irresponsible.


"and as a result of HIS pleasure" "the woman chose to allow entry to her body"

why does that make me feel uncomfortable???
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 118
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 11/7/2010 12:49:44 PM
"Why would a man that doesn't want a woman to become pregnant have unprotected sex?"

see my post above (lies)

"Really? Why?"

the question was "is but isn't" it didn't allow for "is but didn't work as intended"

knew of a girl many years ago that had period problems at the start so she was put on med's
she had unprotected sex didn't get pregnant, ended up thinking great i'm sterile and made the most of it, later after stopping the meds, she all of a sudden became pregnant.
her parents/doctor had thought it wise not to tell her the meds were the pill.

some drugs dont do what they're intended to do on some people.
my x had to have the camera down her throat one time, she was given the injection left for it to take effect then wheeled in.
the only effect it had was to paralyse her she was conscious of everything that went on but couldn't do anything, to add insult to injury they wouldn't believe her afterwards,
she was in a bit of a state after that.
 ImJayZee
Joined: 11/20/2009
Msg: 120
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 11/7/2010 1:02:24 PM
If it's a woman's choice in having it or not, it should be her responsibility.

She shouldn't have it both ways, but she does.
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 123
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 11/7/2010 1:21:39 PM
"we will never be equal"

yep we know!
the guys send the messages n the girls delete em!
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 136
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 11/7/2010 9:43:23 PM
good point Lusipher

what you're saying in a nutshell is. if the woman can decide not to accept responsiblity for the child why cant the man?
 Whitey5.10.74
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 146
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 11/8/2010 12:23:38 PM
I think that if you play you pay IE Full Child maintenance. I had loads of one night stands in the 90's, sometimes without a condom. I'd love to find out that I am a father.......although I very much doubt I am?
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 170
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 11/8/2010 9:31:49 PM
blimey i go to work n you're all at each others throats.
i'm surprised this is still going but it seems to be getting bogged down.
so how about i toss in a hypothetical situation.

we have all heard of wayne rooney hiring a hooker for a "fling" (see the op)
what would your opinions be if she claimed she was pregnant by him and he should do the right thing (for a change :-))

he no doubt would point out that it was not part of the deal he paid for and he had every right to expect she would have taken suitable precautions.

right i'm off to me bed! do try not to kill each other :-)
 Trident3163
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 181
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 11/9/2010 4:28:08 PM
You both choose to have sex, you both knew the risks - you both take responsibility.

However, its growing inside the woman, so at the end of the day, its her choice whether the pregnancy follows through to term. If she chooses yes, then the gent is in part responsible for maintenance.

I have had offers and insistence at times of sex without protection, let alone contraception. When I was younger I knew the risks but accepted the consequences. Now older, there are a few times where I have walked away. But what does it say about the woman who is so desperate to get pregnant?

As I said above: you both choose to have sex, you both know the risks - you both take responsibility.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 190
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Responsibility for pregnancy from a fling or one-night-stand
Posted: 10/15/2011 10:00:56 AM
My view on this is about as politically correct as making all africans dress up in gollywog suits would be nowadays lol

I do infact believe BOTH people are EQUALLY responsible for an accidental pregnancy. It would seem silly to suggest otherwise

However, from that moment on society has taken the path that ONLY a woman has any choice or say in what happens next. So, to me that means ONLY the woman can ever be "responsible" for a birth resulting from that pregnancy, as a pregnancy isnt by any stretch of the imagination a "baby"

A fertilised egg can happen by accident, but a baby happens by choice,

Although I cant see a reasonable way that "choice" could be shared that doesnt mean responsibility has to be. So I have always believed that where a pregnancy is either accidental or "accidental" (meaning deliberate but claimed to be an accident in the second instance) the man should have the ability to choose if he wants to be a part in childs life physically and financially as that is the only reasonable way to have some degree of choice where its unreasonable for a man to have a say in what happens to a foetus inside someone elses body

That way the woman still has the "choice" of whether or not to continue with a pregnancy knowing she would be solitarily responsible for it on all levels including the financial ones. Which I think would see an increase in pregnancy initially, then a reduction as fewer women would see having a baby as a "deliberate accident" as not being a very wise way to either lock a man into a relationship, repair a failing one or as a vehicle to subsidised single parenthood

The arguement that when a man agrees to have sex he is ALSO agreeing to anything else that might happen as a result however is to be honest pretty vaccuous.

BOTH people are infact agreeing to have sex, nothing more. And if people are going to apply the previous mindset to the act then that should ALSO be applied just as easily to women. So women would also have to choose abstinance UNLESS theyre prepared to accept "all" consequences, including having a child they dont want.

So that inane mantra really just suggests maybe abortion for anything but rape or medical grounds should be banned so women rather than just men are made "accountable" for their choice to have sex

Although most people who do try to use that arguement WILL infact only apply it to men, which I think often reflects their personality and outlook in general.

As for the financial side of things hows this for "equality"

If a woman has the right for a man to subsidises her "choice" in unilaterally breeding its also just as fair for women who abort to also spend the next 18 years of their life compensating the "would have been" father for killing their child surely?

That would seem to be much "fairer" so if fairness is whats actually being sought rather than just defending a womans right to breed without consent whenever she feels like it that should also be a reasonable and more balanced approach shouldnt it? lol
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