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 darkjedi1
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 322
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????Page 4 of 40    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40)
Hell it shouldnt even get to the alter stage if a guy is like that.
 heaight
Joined: 9/6/2007
Msg: 325
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 10/23/2007 7:31:53 AM
well i say, maybe it is wrong for him to request that of her, but then again, im sure more couples than not would like there spouse to be thinner, and like a guy said earlier, women are always asking a guy to be honest, so, i dont see that much of a problem with what he said, relationships would probly last longer if more people were honest with what they arnt happy with in them. but if shes comfortable in her wn weigt and desnt think she should loose any, than she should find another guy, u could also lo at it this way: hes tryna help u out
 heaight
Joined: 9/6/2007
Msg: 326
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 10/23/2007 7:38:33 AM
i just read these guys's ages, if ur older it is harder to loose the weight, so yea the guy just sucks in this situation
 TrackMan391
Joined: 9/22/2004
Msg: 348
He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 11/6/2007 8:48:14 AM
This is wrong, plain and simple! Deciding whether or not to marry someone based on them losing weight is shallow and immature. She needs to find someone else, who won't use the ring as a "reward" for losing weight. Unless, of course, the woman in question is more focused on getting the ring than marrying the guy (hey, that does happen), then it's would be wrong for her to complain.
 ActiveGirl16
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 375
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 11/21/2007 11:40:59 AM

As for being Catholic and married in the Church, depends on the circumstances of his first marriage, but for a simple ceremony conducted by a priest, he doesn't have to have his marriage annulled. If they do a full blown marriage rite, he would.

I dont believe that the above is true. Getting married by a Catholic priest is being married in the Church, regardless of the size of the ceremony or the number of guests.


He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????

No way! I would however lose 180+ pounds by getting rid of him!
 leeanna50
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 395
He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 1/28/2008 2:19:29 PM
It will always be something else with this man, wonder if he thinks hes so perfect that nothing about him needs changing, if he cant love her for who and how she is now what makes her think his loves worth having in the first place, id dump him so fast he wouldnt have time to wonder where i went too, i feel sorry for her cause she sure dont love her self to let him treat her this way.
 Secret revealed
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 418
He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 1/30/2008 12:47:39 PM

First instinct... lose the 30 lbs and then shove the ring back in his face.


There wouldn't be two instincts. 30 lbs of his worthless azzz would be lost if he continued hanging around....
 chickalina
Joined: 12/5/2007
Msg: 426
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 1/30/2008 4:50:03 PM
Hedda Lettuce - I totally agree with you. At that age I think a wedding outside with a lovely dress would be more than appropriate. Look obviously there are not going to be any more children involved. Unless she didn't hav the traditional "white" wedding with her first husband then I can see why but let me tell you - if you two REALLY loved each other you would get married by the Reverend Snore on Jerry Springer show and be happy. It doesn't matter Where the ceremony is at long as it takes place. If you need to loose 3o pounds go for it girl then you can look awesome and lose his ass. Don't do it for him or anyone else - do it for you.
 daphnekc
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 431
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 1/31/2008 2:59:47 AM
DUMP HIM!I would say to him "honey I will lose 30 pounds if you get a penile implant, hair plugs, get those two teeth fixed you kept talking about and and get those man boobs of yours taken care of"
this really hit a nerve with me, I had a mastectomy in 2003 and in order for me to have surgery I had to gain about 30 pounds everyone kept telling me how fat I looked, including my husband . It really pissed me off, I only have one single friend from pre 2003 in my life now . I d get my self a new man what is she going to do if she gets sick, has a car wreak, breaks a leg do you really think that he will be supportive?
 mizbex
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 445
He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 2/2/2008 7:27:38 AM
This thread just tells me that for some people there is no age limit on shallowness and insecurity.

She should dump him first and then lose the weight if she wants to. She should also then either find a man who shares in her own religious beliefs instead of trying to shove them down someones throat.
 lonesome wonderer
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 446
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 2/2/2008 10:13:26 AM
i'm sorry but i didn't read the entire 21 pages so forgive me if i'm repeating. the guy wants your friend to lose 30 lbs before putting a ring on her finger is highly insane. you said they've been dating for 2.5 year (at the time of the orig post) and has accepted the love that she has for him. i may be wrong but if he really loved her and was (is) in love with her that he would have already accepted her body, mind, and soul. he accepted her body long enough to have the ltr and there's no reason why he shouldn't accept it before putting something so materialistic on her finger. my honest opinion.....if someone tells me to lose 30lbs before they would put a ring around my finger should take a walk. "the door swings both ways, just don't let it hit you in the a$$", my father would say. no one is worth living the remainder days with as a result of bribery. i'm not sure if they're still together or not but if they are i can only hope that she didn't lose the weight because he wanted her to. when going on a diet it has to be because the person wants to lose the weight or needs to lose the weight for health reason under the advise of a doctor, not of bribery.

i want to lose weight only because that's my choice, i will not do anything just to be rewarded something materialistic as an engagement ring.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 449
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 2/6/2008 10:30:37 AM
If a man would ask a woman to loose weight, as a pre condition to engagement, i believe
he is too immature to be in a relationship,what would happen if the woman became ill, would he leave, love is love, either your in it or your not
 heartsvertigo
Joined: 8/11/2005
Msg: 454
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 2/8/2008 4:00:22 PM
Is this a serious question?
Why would she want a guy who isn't satisfied with her the way she is?
If she does all of this I'm sure he'll come up with a new hoop for her to jump through to get the ring.
Ditch him, and never speak to him again.
 fallingstar
Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 468
He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 2/9/2008 8:04:50 PM
Sure, he may like to have a "thinner" woman, but that's not the problem here. That is merely a SMOKE SCREEN to fog over his true motives. Think about it.....if she was so unappealing as she is right now, he would NOT be with her (I mean, appearances is obviously important to him, right?). He only makes the ultimatum about weight loss probably because, after getting to know her, she has let him know all her insecurities, etc.....and losing weight is a big deal to anyone with a weight problem.

So, he tells her to lose the weight because it places all the weight or burden of "responsibility" for whether the relationship fails or succeeds squarely on HER shoulders, giving who a guilt free pass? HIM! And just by her even staying with him after such a conversation proves to him what he obviously already knows. She has some SERIOUS personal issues that she has never dealt with, and I'm sorry to say, it doesn't sound like she's going to anytime soon. He is testing the waters as to how far she will go to please him. It is a CONTROL THING.

I am sorry to tell you, but you can ask 1000 people what they think, and even if every single one of them told you the same thing, your friend will not see it. As you already have done for her here in the forum, she will excuse the "little" flaws here and there because as you stated (in DEFENSE of him, even though I know you did not intentionally defend him), she can name a dozen different reasons why they are good together and only this one thing that says they are not. You're friend will (and does) believe what she wants to believe, and that's everything good that "he" shows her. I feel very sorry for her. She's lonely without him, and also believes herself to be not attractive. If she thought herself to be pretty, she would be offended (as we all are who heard the story) at what he said instead of out taking diet pills that upset her body and mind.

The only true advice I can give is not to tell her all the reasons why he is wrong and she should leave him. That takes a woman of strength, and clearly, she's not as of yet. What you need to reinforce is positive things about HER, and not the negative about him. The more you bash him, the closer to him she'll run, and you will only be playing into his hands of isolating her until she has only him to rely on. Work on her self esteem. Once she reaches a healthy place in her life where she accepts herself for who she is, getting him out of the picture will not even be an issue because he'll move on. He wants someone he can belittle and if she's confident, then she will no longer fit the mold.
 judyarlinepuckett
Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 478
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 2/10/2008 4:58:06 PM
If a guy proposed to me that way,
it needs to be a very big diamond,
 heldsexybabe
Joined: 8/18/2005
Msg: 488
He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:48:38 AM
I would tell him to kiss my ***...love me for who I am..not for who I might become...this a fault of society..everyone must look like that "size 10" as all adds do..cant ppl realize that it is the person within who is the most beautiful..I am overweight..yes..and working to lose..for myself..not for anyone else..but I am just as sexy as that size 10..smart...have a very successful profession...and I can carry on an intelligent coversation...obviously he is only superficial..god this makes me so angry....
 Masked_Hero
Joined: 12/14/2003
Msg: 505
He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 3/11/2008 10:56:17 AM
Even thought I think that making a woman lose 3o pounds is a bit outta the norm.. ( why not just replace her with a thin woman if thats what you want ) Im more upset over the fact that everyone is BASHING the guy in this situation... Why are we giving this guy the DEATH PENELTY when the woman is commiting the same CRIME how are you gonna MAKE this guy buy you a engagement ring. They BOTH are try'n to FORCE the other into doing something here... So she's just as wrong as he is !.... As far as the pills make'n her grumpy... Tell her to take HGH its a much better way to lose weight without all the jitters or side effects
 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 506
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 3/11/2008 8:39:58 PM
If it was me I would wave him good bye.
terms, conditions, and shallow
Your friend is a size16 now if he didnt like it he should of ended it way back.
His not prepared to do his bit with his church either.
Sounds like all his own way.
BYe
 IndianBlackBeauty
Joined: 6/26/2006
Msg: 507
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 3/11/2008 8:47:08 PM
thats called











conditional love! which obviously is nothing be desired

e.g.: i will only love her if she is skinny
 BlahGrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 508
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:04:47 PM
But what love isn't conditional? That for your children. But even the love for siblings and parents can be mildly conditional.

You love someone for the qualities they have. I agree that it seems a bit shallow, but it seems short sighted to completely ignore a quality about another person because it is a sensitive subject.

Is it acceptable to tell someone they have to get a job or stop smoking/drinking/drugs to give them an engagement ring? Is it acceptable for her to lay spiritual conditions upon him for their marriage? If so, why is it different? For every explanation of why it could be you can point to the examples and find a parallel explanation that is also problematic. These things are acceptable because a person's qualities DO matter. Weight is just one more quality that is highly valued. In some cases too highly valued, but don't fool yourself into thinking it doesn't matter or shouldn't matter.
 BlahGrim
Joined: 1/29/2004
Msg: 509
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He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:16:28 PM
This is sort of a seperate remark, which is why I just didn't edit.

It seems like I am in situations like his repeatedly. I am interested in someone and care for them, but I am hesitant over certain qualities or behaviors that they have. What should I do?

1. Ignore those and decieve myself as to their importance?
2. Feel like an ass and bring up these touchy issues?
3. Abandon the relationship?

I've been a coward and opted for the last too often. I refuse to do the first. But nobody seems to find the second acceptable. Everyone seems to take it badly. On the contrary, I have yet to see a girl be honest and open herself. They opt for the first or last in my experience.

If there is no issues, then everything is perfect and you can just procede, but that just doesn't happen in the real world. If there are too many issues to overcome, then the relationship should probably be abandoned, but if there aren't many, shouldn't you work through them?
 cabadboy
Joined: 9/3/2006
Msg: 510
He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:29:57 PM
If the lady wants to lose weight for herself...thats fine.....the guy has been going with her for 2.5 yrs and all of a sudden he wants her to lose weight.......Dump him, he will comeback...She has to stand her ground, Tell her not to budge obviously she put out already....hey why but the cow, when the milk is free?...........Obviously he accepted her the way she was for 2.5 yrs...tell him to hit the road......when you want to lose weight, do it for yourself, not for anyone else.......

He won't do the annuled thing because there is alot of paperwork to it.....he's not catholic, mostly he won't be attending church after they get married so whats the sense in that?...hey sometimes you have to question the catholic church, after all they covered up the child molesting , didn't they? so who knows better....the church or you?
 haywiresue
Joined: 9/27/2006
Msg: 518
He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 3/15/2008 8:30:35 PM
OP - any man that would give me any kind of ultimatem like that, would be picking himself up from the curb - cause that is where I would have kicked his sorry a$$. Absolutely no one has the right to do this to another person and no person should put up with that crap. I'm sure that guy is not all that a bag of chips.

A relationship is all about meeting each other half way and giving 100%. You need to be with someone who loves you for who you are - not what they want to become. In addition you should not loose yourself while being in a relationship with someone.

To be perfectly honest, that behaviour is abusive and if he were to demand one thing, you can bet your stars that would be the beginning for him to totally disregard this woman and at his whim, totally pick apart. Once her self esteem, self worth were destroyed, he would have no further use for her and toss her away like unwanted garbage.

No person (man or woman) should willingly give away their rights to another person to become their personal doormat and be treated with such disrespect.
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 524
He Says Lose 30 lbs and He Will Give you an Engagement Ring.....Would Ya????
Posted: 3/19/2008 11:40:32 AM
What a shallow **stard! And diet pills are dangerous she should be going for walks or going ont eh treadmill aat the gym. Sure it takes time but its safe. This guy sound slike a jerk.
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