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 Fry Lock
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 148
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why dont men date pregnant women?Page 3 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
I'm not a guy, but if I was, there's no WAY I'd play baste the baby with someone else's kid in there.

I'm just sayin. You know sex eventually comes into the picture. No guy I know is gonna go for that.

I'm just sayin....

Fry
 midnightangel0
Joined: 5/2/2007
Msg: 151
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 10/4/2007 9:29:31 PM
First, we are talking about dating. Dating is different that relationship. The problem is that most people today don't know the difference.

It's funny how everyone assumes sex will always enter the picture in a relationship. It is entirely possible that the pregnant woman in question could meet a guy that isn't in to sex before marriage. Granted, in today's society that is nearly unheard of.

And just what is so wrong about two single people dating (regardless of pregnancy)? perhaps a chance encounter bring two people together and they find that they are soul mates. I know I paint a romantic picture but I know full well that the odds of the relationship going to hell is very high. My point is simply that anything can happen.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 156
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 10/9/2007 12:56:49 PM
Okay, she got knocked up by one dude and she wants to find another one?
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 160
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why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 10/10/2007 11:25:41 AM
Becuase the oven door is closed and we are self absorped with our own imortality. Or because we don't see too great of an immediate return on the investment. Because we want to be able to toss you around and shove you up a wall. Because we were simply indoctrinated to think of it as wrong. Because we are consumed with short term desires.

Of course every woman merits individual consideration, but pregancy is a condition the more randy of us don't have tremendous paitence for.
 Deceased~
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 161
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 10/10/2007 1:48:56 PM
I'd say men don't date pregnant women for about the same reason women don't date men who bring their ex-wife along on the date.
 irishboy68
Joined: 7/1/2005
Msg: 163
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 10/10/2007 3:36:38 PM
I am astonished!!! You really have to ask?

You know, male lions and tigers kill every single cub they come across. Just because we have opposible thumbs doesn't mean the thought isn't there.

Additionally, when a child is involved, men always come in second....repeat SECOND. You always hear women ****ing about not being the most important thing in your life, well it works both ways.
 cupholder
Joined: 12/23/2006
Msg: 172
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/3/2007 8:29:06 AM
As kinky as it would be... Uh, I just don't, because that's seriously screwed up.

Not only does it scream "IMMATURE" on the behalf of the pregnant girl, but it's just weird.
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 173
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/3/2007 8:55:28 AM

Trust me, when you have a newborn you will have absolutely no time for a relationship. You will barely have time for yourself.


Kate_1988 hit the nail right on the head. Hell, I have a 4 1/2 year-old and it's still hard to date being a single dad only half of the time. When I have my son, it's ALL about him. It has to be for me to be a decent father.

I can't believe anyone even asked this question. Those of you who aren't already parents and don't know how hard it is should NOT be giving ANY advice. Even if she is one of those women who chose to become a single-parent, she still needs to take care of her child first before even thinking about dating.

Date a woman who is pregnant by another man? You've got to be out of your mind for the hundreds of reasons already stated here. Why would any sane person choose to take on that kind of headache? I know, let's all jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, we might live.

Being a friend and having coffee, that's another question but dating to find someone to have a more-than-friends relationship? Hell no! Take care of your child first, and if you do so properly, you'll find that dating is probably not something you'll be doing anytime soon anyway.
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 176
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why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/4/2007 3:26:08 AM
I agree with this... It's hard enough to deal with the opposite sex, sometimes, to want to have to deal with a baby in the picture that is not even yours, and the drama that may result from her being pregnant.
 olddog43
Joined: 3/21/2007
Msg: 177
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/12/2007 4:11:24 PM
i think the reason a lot of men don't date pregnant women is because they do not want to take care of another mans child. That to me is immature. the child does not who its real father is unless the mother wants to tell the child. As far as the child knows you couldvery well bethe father. Myself personally dating a pregnant woman is not an issue for me. By the same token. you pregnant women don't be so stubborn and bullheaded not to let a man raise your unborn child as his own. There is nothing wrong with a man taking care of you and your child.
 Ave Caesar
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 180
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/12/2007 7:45:08 PM
You can't be serious.
 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 184
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/13/2007 8:14:09 AM
Wow. Some of you are so ignorant it scares me...I don’t know whether to laugh or cry reading this thread …Jesus.

First of all...birth control is not 100% effective. Hopefully none of you will ever learn thisthe hard way like I did, but yes, sometimes it fails. More often than you might think, actually.

For the record, being pregnant and single doesn't automatically make you a wh*re or an idiot. I wonder how many of you saying these things has ever had a "scare", or exercised the right to choose...seeing as one in three women has had an abortion in her lifetime, and someone had to knock them up in the first place, I'm guessing there is more than one hypocrite in this thread. The only difference between someone like me and someone like you is that I chose to take responsibility for the life I created, and you chose to take the easy way out.

As a mother the way some of you are talking about innocent CHILDREN makes me sick to my stomach. I understand that it's a huge responsibility to take on another mans child, and I also understand why a lot of men aren’t willing to do it. Those are some big shoes to fill. But please try to have a little respect for the innocent parties in all of this, and not talk about an unborn child like it is some kind of disease that you are afraid of contracting. That's just messed up. These are children we are talking about. If some of you only see them burdens, financial liabilities or extra baggage, that’s on you. Personally, I’ve always seen it differently. Call me an idealist, but I think as human beings we have an obligation to take care of and protect ALL children, not just our own offspring…I don’t see a child in a bad situation and think “eh, it’s not my kid, so who cares”. Some of you have such an egocentric view of the world, it’s really disheartening. I had no idea so many people thought this way. This just reminds me why I’m so protective about who I bring around my daughter.

Personally, I didn't date while I was pregnant...I just never had the desire too. Aside from feeling like a cow, I kind of figured that if I was in a relationship with someone effed up enough to abandon the woman he claimed to love and his unborn child, I probobly needed to take a big step back and re-evaluate a lot of things in my life, one of those being my taste in men. So instead of dating, I threw myself into my pregnancy, read every parenting book I could get my hands on, and used those 9 months as a time for self reflection and personal growth. She’s almost a year now, and I am just starting to ease back into dating. Taking that time off was one of the best descisions I ever made, and I would suggest that anyone in my position do the same. But if a woman wants to date while she is pregnant, more power to her. As long as she isn’t behaving recklessly and putting her child in danger, it's her life, her body and her business, and I think she should do whatever makes her happy. Everyone craves love and companionship, no matter what their situation is, and a woman shouldn’t be “punished” just because she bears the biological burden of procreation when things in her previous relationship go wrong. If it was a man dating while his ex was pregnant, most people wouldn’t even bat an eyelash. Oh and for all of you saying that a man would never want to date a pregnant woman-your wrong. I got asked out more than once while I was obviously pregnant (by people who knew my situation). I turned them down for the aforementioned reasons, but it just goes to show that it’s not a completely outlandish concept. There are some men willing to “slum it” with a pregnant chick. There are even some who ((gasp!)) find a pregnant woman beautiful. Even if he’s not the one who made her that way.

You know, I guess what bothers me the most about this thread is some of you act like anyone who would be in that situation isn't even a human being. I guess since this is an online forum I should expect that, but try to remember that there are people going through this every day while you sit here and mock them, and it’s one of the hardest things you could ever imagine. I lived it for 9 months of my life. I remember lying in bed the first time I felt my little girl moving inside of me, and crying my eyes out because I had no one to share it with. Going to every doctors appointment alone. Missing love and companionship, dealing with a broken heart and being completely betrayed by someone I trusted, and thinking that no one would ever want me or love me again. And worst of all, holding my beautiful daughter for the first time, and feeling my heart break into a million pieces knowing that she deserved two loving parents, and that I would never be able to give that to her. I know this is probably meaningless to most of you, and I’ll probably regret being this open about something so personal in about 5 minutes, but I’m hoping that maybe it touches one of you on some level, and helps you to see that this isn’t something to laugh at, and that it can happen to anyone.

Oh and I just have to say as an aside....I find it rather ironic to see some of the same people who are constantly whining about being rejected have zero empathy or respect for someone going through what is essentially the ultimate rejection...things that make you go "hmmmm...."

 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 185
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:03:42 AM
How did I know that you would feel compelled to respond to this one Rock Hunter...apparently you are the self appointed ambassador of warning men not to date single mothers

Read through the thread. While nobody flat out says a woman in that position is "less than human", a lot of the comments make it obvious that is how they are viewed.

I don't really care if a man doesn't find a pregnant woman attractive. I don't care if a man doesn't want me because I have a child, because there are plenty who do, and who actually see it as a good thing. I don't think anyone owes me or anyone else a date. But compassion and respect? Absolutely. Some of you just need to grow up and learn some basic human decency
 Ave Caesar
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 186
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:04:06 AM
Dzine107:

I honestly believe that 'dating' is not an appropriate activity while pregnant. It's not the time to be 'dating'. Not at all. Have the baby, then see about dating. There is nothing unreasonable about this.
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 187
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:07:16 AM
let's see, the bulging tummy, the constant whinging and the 20lbs of fat gained after the baby is born....Not Hot.
 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 189
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:17:29 AM
Here's a few examples Rock Hunter...

Hey, this one was said by you!

Actually the father of the baby SHOULD be still around.
If he's not, it tells me a lot about both of them.

Tells you what exactly? That she had bad judgment? Do you think a woman sits there and thinks "hmmm, this guy looks like he's going to knock me up and leave me". Sociopathic people are very good at pulling the wool over your eyes.

Heres some more:


Are you serious? It is because she is pregnant with another man's baby. If she is pregnant with another mans baby, and dating she is either a whore, or a moron.



Sounds like the first TRAP failed to catch a fish.

So now what? either she hopes to get back with the daddy--most likely.

Or else is looking for a new fish to catch. Only now the bait has a warning flag flying the sign, "FIRST TRAP FAILED" "POOR ME--HELP ME--I'LL TAKE ANYONE



Of course its every man's dream to fall in love with a woman and see some other dudes kid pop out of her snatch.


Many many more pages of this shyt but I'm not even going to bother going back....

The way some of you people look at the act of giving life is disgusting. No wonder you are still single.
 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 191
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/13/2007 10:58:42 AM
I am being misunderstood here...

It's not the unwillingness to date a pregnant woman that I have an issue with...again, I totally understand that. Like I said, I didn't date while pregnant and was a little shocked that anyone was interested in my. Quite frankly I wondered what the hell they were thinking

It's just the lack of respect. Calling a woman in that position a "whore" and whatnot...why is that necessary? Giving life is a beautiful thing regardless of the circumstances, and it does offend me to see some of you degrade it with the "popping a kid out of her snatch" stuff. Come on now.
 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 192
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/13/2007 11:02:19 AM
Rock Hunter your reading comprehension skills are amazing...

And for the record I'm not really single anymore Try not to be too heartbroken.
 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 193
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/13/2007 11:21:33 AM

I was going to send you a personnal message....but you don't seem to be accepting any mail/males from my country....was it because of moi?


No I just dislike Canadians in general....

Kidding!

I tried to expand the settings but it only does it under 20,000 miles....
 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 194
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/13/2007 11:23:15 AM
Rock hunter why don't you just go find him yourself and warn him about modus parentis or whatever that thing you are obsessed with is called....then I won't even have to worry about it
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 198
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/14/2007 12:24:38 AM
Geeze! Why date a pregnant woman when you can easily date a NON pregnant woman. It's all about choice.
 ShyCaringGuy
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 202
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why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/14/2007 5:58:07 PM
They do, I met my last ex when she was 6 months pregnant with my stepson. Since he was living with me since birth for so many years I got shared care of him when we split :)
 AceplayZero
Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 203
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why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/15/2007 8:05:58 AM
I have never thought much of this subject as it seems to be more on the edge of personal preference than anything else. Majority of fishers here say it is by choice but some of you are so sick to say that men dont date pregnant people because they have emotional attitudes and fits. It is no excuse to use that against then as you (men) are the same way towards them. I have yet to meet a pregnant women that acts far worst than thwe capabilty of a man. We are equal but can act the way we want whenever. My daughters mother never showed them signs and we werent even together a single time during her pregnancy. We we best friends that tipped the ice accidentally and out came real growth(my daughter). So the real question is: Men! Why dont you ask out pregant women or give them the time of your life? And the answer is that we have it in our minds a head of time that you are taken like other people have said on here. Baby parent drama is an excuse as it can happen anytime. It's called parents mad at each other. SO whatever.
 Dzine107
Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 204
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/15/2007 7:37:07 PM

hear what you are saying and I can somewhat empathies with your position. Nobody deserves to be judged nor downgraded for having a child. But there is another side to this argument that you failed to recognize and from which some of the male responses you quoted originates. Very commonly (unfortunately) the accidental pregnancy was no accident at all. Yes pills are not 100% effective, but their effectiveness is significantly increased when they are taken. I have seen to many situations where these "accidental" pregnancies occurs once it becomes clear that the relationship is heading for closure. Like you said, "sociopath people are very good at pulling the wool over your eyes".


I've heard of this happening...I've also heard of men poking holes in condoms, tampering with their partners birth control and lying about vasectomies. It's probobly not as common but it DOES happen. I'm just saying, it's not a gender specific problem, it's a societal problem of adults using children as pawns in situations they have no control over.

As far as a woman in that situation being after financial support-I don't think that's a fair assumption. I have been told over and over again that most single mothers are just looking for a meal ticket or a free ride...Funny, I know a lot of single mothers and I have yet to meet one with those intentions. Maybe it's just the kind of people I choose to surround myself with.


Having all that said, men who have been exposed or who have friends who where exposed to entrapment (and in some cases blatant paternity fraud) will naturally be sensitized to the underlying dating motivation of a single pregnant woman, especially if she is younger. Our natural instinct is that she is looking for a provider, not a partner. This is further reinforced by your acute awareness of our expected legal treatment during divorces or common law separations involving children.


I do know about paternity fraud and I absolutely will admit that the laws are f*cked when it comes to this, and men usualy do get the short end of the stick, so to speak. Personally, I'm a bit extreme...I don't believe anyone should be forced into parenthood. I am pro choice, and I don't believe in forced child support. If a man wants to sign over his parental rights, I think he should be allowed to...just as a woman would be allowed to give up her child to the state if she didn't feel she was fit to take care of it. I don't get child support from my daughters father, and I'm in the process of terminating his parental rights (with his full consent) I get a lot of flack for this descision, but at the end of the day I never want my daughter to feel like an unwanted burden, and I know that's what would end up happening...

Bottom line, I guess we just have to use more caution and not blindly trust a persons motivations. And the "what if" discussion should occur long before you hop into bed together, and if you are on different pages then you should proboby find different people. I actually think that you should sign a contract before you have sex with someone but I guess that's a different debate Obviously, this is something I learned the hard way but if it comes to that point in a relationship again, you better believe I will tread very carefully. I love my daughter to death and I don't regret my descision to keep her for a second, but I will never (god willing) be in that situation again.


Thirdly, dating a pregnant woman or a woman with young children means you are second priority. Very few men will consider this option if other alternatives are available, in particular younger men.


Hmmm...I don't really know what to say about this one. I think it's kind of selfish to expect to be the first priority in your partners life even if they DON'T have children...but I guess, again, different debate!


And fourthly.... men have egos!! Raising and caring for someone else’s offspring is not necessarily an attractive proposition. This holds especially true for younger males who are still trying to establish their careers and identities.


I guess that's why I don't date insecure young males hung up on their ego's

And there is no reason why dating a woman with a child or even HAVING a child should halt your career or destroy your identity...I'm actually much more succesful, self assured, and driven now than I ever was before my daughter was here. She inspires me and motivates me


I am not condemning any of your arguments as I think you are very reasonable in your rational. I am just trying to offer up the other side of this coin to help you understand the background behind men’s aversion to dating pregnant women.


It's cool! I dont' feel condemmned at all...but again, I have to reiterate, I DO understand the aversion. I never said that men should date pregnant women, in fact in my post I said I would advise any woman in my position to NOT date, and if it was one of my friends, I would definately tell him to be VERY careful in that situation, because it's a potential emotional minefeild. My only issue was the lack of respect shown by some of the responses. Although I have to say after reading a few of the other debates, this pales in comparison...sooo no more forums for me, I would like to keep what little faith in humanity I still have intact!
 OptimismVsRealism
Joined: 4/14/2007
Msg: 206
why dont men date pregnant women?
Posted: 12/16/2007 3:41:25 AM
in all brutal honesty:

this is the stupidest ****ing question ever asked.

any man who takes on a pregnant woman with a child on the way that isnt his, is asking for trouble.
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