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 Hunter 2006
Joined: 9/18/2006
Msg: 35
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!Page 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Girlflower, Thank you, thank you, thank you, for asking the question!

I am very grateful to know I am not alone in wondering how other women feel about the issue.

The responses posted have been so very enlightening and resonated loud and clear with me that I simply had to thank you all!

thank you

H
 TravelingHomebody
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 36
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/12/2008 8:27:28 PM
I tried the Sexual Revolution. It blew chunks. I did it my way and ended up with a broken heart, broken marriage, and broken home. It's God's way this time. He designed us, so I think it's safe to assume that the Owner's Manual should be consulted. And it's pretty clear on the proper context for sex, which is within marriage.

Of course, since men of my generation don't tend to date women who don't have sex outside of marriage, that means I'll probably never have sex again as long as I live, but I can live with that. I can't live with selling out my self-respect as an escape from momentary loneliness.
 pokerjimmy
Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 37
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/16/2008 9:41:12 AM
Sex is a natural thing that when it's right for you, it will flow.

Why do people make it complicated?

You know when you see a man within 5 minutes if you want to see him naked just like us men know about you women.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 38
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/16/2008 9:58:26 AM
The old "sex" vs "making love" again. *sigh*
I have this theory and hell, knock me for it if you must. You meet a man, date, have sex, yes sex, when you both feel the time is right. Sure at that point there are some feelings for each other, but would one call it love? I don't think that I would. I believe love comes/grows a little more day by day. In the meantime, am I to sit on the sidelines watching life go by or losing a potential relationship simply due to the fact that I have to be in "love" in order to go to bed with someone? For the record, I am NOT referring to let's just meet up and shag either. There is a middle road in all of this. Alas, I have not met anyone that I would consider being intimate with so here sits this"born again"!
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 39
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/16/2008 10:09:28 AM
One nighters are not what they're cracked up to be and I'd rather not revisit my 20's. Having to pretend I'm satisfied just to protect someone's ego isn't something I care to do. It's a natural progression as our bodies age, that instant physical attraction with no love or emotional history is pretty elusive. I have been without a sexual partner for almost 3 years and am in no hurry to change that. One thing I've noticed is I don't get sick anymore - no colds, flu, - nothing. I think it's because I am much happier not having to cater to someone else's needs that doesn't care about me. I think because men NEED sex even when they're older automatically assume that women are the same. I think because women don't have the testosterone levels we are not driven to go out and find it - that doesn't mean we don't want it, we're just much more selective about where and with whom we expend our energies.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 40
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/16/2008 10:13:17 AM
One more thing - There are still many consequences for sex outside of marraige, but the big thing for me is - I don't care to get knocked up at age 45.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 41
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:22:01 AM

all you can think about is how your many exes didnt do you right-- maybe if you had kept some interest going, he might not have left you for somebody that made him feel great and blew him till there was nothing left for the next girlfriend,,,you were toooo busy blaming him because you dint like his animalistic thrusts to be able to get anything for yourself..... wake up dummy ,,,, other people are having fun,you are the sicko that cant stomach having sex ----- maybe if you did a bit mo0re often you just might to learn to enjoy it a bit.


You might want to take a moment and reflect that this IS the over 45 forum and there are quite a few here of BOTH genders who are single because a spouse or longtime SO passed away.
Yes I know you directed your diatribe at women,and I'm sure you are right, all marriages fail because the woman didn't f*ck good enough. Yeah right.
And I got news for ya dude, a GOOD BJ takes as much, if not MORE energy than your standard f*ck( is this getting too graphic for you, dear?) Did you ever stop to think that you are a lousy lay and not capable of arousing the womanly desire to please a man with "extras"? Maybe the "sickos that can't stomach having sex " just can't stomach having it with you. If you are getting turned down all the time, you might want to spend your energy figuring out what it is YOU are doing wrong,instead of ranting at women.

and he WILL be back for more
Yeah, but we don't WANT a guy that only shows up when he's horny! We want respect, companionship, commitment, love,and we want to RETURN those feelings, with sex just being ONE of the ways love is expressed.
Dude, you need to get some. Find a dive bar, and a drunk fat chick at closing time.
Cindy O
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 42
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/16/2008 11:36:20 AM

maybe if you had kept some interest going, he might not have left you for somebody that made him feel great and blew him till there was nothing left for the next girlfriend,,,you were toooo busy blaming him because you dint like his animalistic thrusts to be able to get anything for yourself..... wake up dummy ,,,, other people are having fun,you are the sicko that cant stomach having sex ----- maybe if you did a bit mo0re often you just might to learn to enjoy it a bit.


OMG! How in tarnation did I miss this lil gem of information?lmfao...takes all kinds I guess....ewe!
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 43
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/25/2008 10:19:59 PM
You know when you see a man within 5 minutes if you want to see him naked



...Thats not true, I'm not like that....Ok, there was this one guy...alright, alright....I'll admit it......every once in a while I may fantasize about male nudity....I can't help it....but I'm trying to be good, I really am.

...maeflowers
 FloridaMusicMan
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 44
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/26/2008 10:08:11 AM
I am comming out of a 17 year marrage and into the dating scene.Frankly I am petrified.The last several years of that relationship was void of any physical contact,so yes I am looking forward to intimacy with a woman in my life.NOT just any woman though,I served in the military for 12 years traveled the world.I do not believe in recreational sex.Has to be an emotional connection for me and has to be the right Lady.Right now I would just like to date,enjoy things here locally that are available.When I can become emotionally available,I will still be very cautious.There are so many things to consider before having an intimate relationship for me,health issues IE: Std's,Compatability,Communication.So for me I would stay celibit until someone I knew would be a permanent person in my life appeared.
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 45
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 6/27/2008 2:31:41 AM
and just where are all these virgins anyway? I can't seem to find one anywhere.. they must be very elusive and secretive or just hiding from me.
Calling all virgins!.. you are summons to the mountain top for a little warm fun!
hey it's 4 am and i'm awake ok? lol
dusty
 Ed Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 46
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/13/2008 5:15:14 AM
AMO-VIDA: Not to get judgemental about people, but every "new" car you can buy has been driven - out of the factory, on and off transport, around lots and more. "Demonstrators,' which can not legally be sold as new cars, are actually the "free" cars the dealer employees drive all year.

Reading this topic makes me wonder why so many people are yakking about what is "right" or "wrong" for them... doesn't anyone have anything to say about what the status of BAV means to them - their self-esteem, hope, despair, pride, social life... ?

I see that there certainly are some people who have decided to return to a chaste state, but on a dating site I would tend to think this topic mostly applies to people who have failed to connect for too long - so long that they begin to forget what sex was like, how people initiate and interact about physical love, and worry they are worthless and useless to the gender they seek to share it (and whatever more or less they seek) with.

About the 5-minute rating - well, certainly I can see that's long enough to know whether one wants to see someone undressed. But I have very often heard people say - men and women - that they know within 15 minutes (or whatever time they pick) whether they ARE going to sleep with someone. Can't say I ever got a clue about it. Nearly half my girlfriends initiated the physical stage of our relationship by simply literally throwing themselves on me! "Reading the signals" is no easy thing.

Hey, I'm not saying that happens now that I'm in the 45+ club!

And yes, I HAVE been thrown out after being told I didn't seem interested enough. It really can happen - even after being cautioned to not expect any contact until later.

SO: how do our fellows here feel about their prospects of second defloration, and their feelings about what probably matters most in the isue - giving up hope of ever finding love again?
ED BEAR
 Green Sangha
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 47
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 7/13/2008 2:59:44 PM
Well, I am starting to feel like I am a "virgin" again and while I would rather wait to be with someone where there is real possibility, I have moments when I think I should just find someone and we'll go at it like banshees. LOL. I don't know how banshees go at it, but it is an old phrase I know and it seems primal, just as the urge for sex can be primal. Unfortunately, I think I am more hesitant and thoughtful as I round my upper 40's and less likely to throw caution to the wind. It's going on three years and I just have moments when I worry, "Is this it? Am I never going to have sex again? " That thought saddens me. But how to get from here to there is not so straightforward if I really do want a mate. My past experience says that leaping into bed with someone isn't the way to begin a meaningful relationship. Hence, I wait a bit. Of course that "bit" turns into 3 years if you don't go out and date, lol. Oye vay!
 jayand
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 49
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 8/1/2008 3:27:09 PM
Sex, What is sex????? lol
 garfieldman
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 50
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 8/1/2008 4:39:59 PM
it been so long i forgot how to do it, on my last date i went on, i felt like a highschool boy and i was shaking so hard i forgot to kiss her good night and she thought i did not like her !lol ! i should of called some friends on dating advice cause i relly blew that one ! i wonder how your suppose to date when your 49
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 51
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 8/3/2008 11:27:45 AM
building a huge bonfire to sacrifice the virgins!

c'mon folks lighten up..
hey i know i'll be single the rest of my days but I'm not proud of it or want to shout it from the rooftops..
so being celebate is a virtue to some..a loss of intimacy and closness and love to others..
can we find a cure?
dusty
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 52
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 4/28/2009 2:33:33 PM
Folks, this may be TMI, but I would just like to point out that:

One need not be single to be in the "Born Again Virgin" category.

Sometimes, life sucks!

TK
{actually at a loss for words, who'd a thunk it}
 Ed Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 53
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/3/2009 3:24:53 AM
All I can reflect is that my profile doesn't say "Christian," and I'd rather be chased than chaste.
ED BEAR
 Kitchener
Joined: 9/23/2008
Msg: 54
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/3/2009 11:01:16 AM
I'm with You Girlfriend on this very personal issue. This isn't for You Girlfriend it's for those that are reading this;
The trouble that I have with free sex is this; How many deceases are out there once you start sleeping with others.
Not only would you inherit from that last persons sexual transmitted stuff, but also all the others they slept with. All it is, is sex, nothing more and it means nothing at all. Those free for all sexual partners transfer deposits left behind from other persons. These deposits can trigger a whole sloe of issues from one women to the next.
If you don't believe me just write in or ask a doctor about what I'm mentioning.
Why even bother inviting problems into your body.
People have too many issues now that we have to deal with.
Trust me when I tell Ya, I love sex and miss making out with my sweetheart drives me carzy, but once we went our separate ways so did the love making. I hate it, but what can I do. I love myself enough to stay safe and for my next partner. I hope to meet a respectable guy someday that understands why this is so important. I can wait for sex, because it's the love that comes with allowing a man to be a part of something that is priceless and that only the two of us can share.
I'm sure that there are men around that feel as strongly as we do on this very important matter.
Sleeping around is cheep and I'm not cheep. I don't want to just have sex.
I am a born again Virgin and dame proud of it!!!
All the best to You
Thanks for bringing this out to talk about.
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 55
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/3/2009 9:37:32 PM
My God.... its two years now since I first posted in this thread! I think I am approaching the "born again" catagory! Or... maybe I'm allready there!! Or... Maybe I've allready been there a while!!???? How does one determine this anyway! har har.

I'm afraid the born again virgin status might not be for us "mature" folks. Hmmmm? perhaps we are just becoming 'old codgers and old maids'??????? terrible thought, huh!

messages this short may not be posted..... may not be posted...may not be.... may not.... may... may ...mayday...mayday... mayday!

Messages this short may not be posted. I am still being persecuted for years old transgressions on the political forums. har har!
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 56
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 5/5/2009 7:26:13 AM
Well, it's not so much the "born again" stuff for me but rather the cobwebs. Yup, cobwebs have set in and I'm experiencing great difficulty in getting rid of them. They seem to be tenacious little buggers! Try as I might, I just haven't found the right recipe to banish them forever.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 58
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Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 10/10/2011 4:01:39 PM
I struggle tolerating born again Christians, so, I know that there is no hope for me tolerating born again Virgins..................

I am more confident and self assured about my inner peace, sexuality, and desires, then I have ever been, and I am far from being born again in any arena!! Just because I am past 45, does not mean that I have to revert back to anything sexually, and just enjoy my maturity, experience and ability to please and be pleased!!

cd.................
 aboutgettingby
Joined: 2/18/2011
Msg: 59
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 10/10/2011 9:58:51 PM
Born Again Virgin, absolutely but not from the physical perspective, but the emotional aspects. Having a one night stand would do nothing to resolve that, it seems that would be the easy solution and leave you back at square one and really still be that Born Again Virgin.
 zippytwo
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 60
Born Again Virgins??? Over 45's Men and Women!
Posted: 10/11/2011 2:28:15 PM
I'd rather have no sex than bad sex or just 'sex for the sake of sex'. The emotion has to be there....for both of us. I don't mind my 'unattached' status. There are a lot worse things to deal with in life than not 'getting it'! I'd like to be emotionally attached to someone, sure I would. But to just have a friend with benefits....no thanks.
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