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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How many dates are people actually going on from this site?      Home login  
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 LovinMike80
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 251
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?Page 11 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

I see nothing wrong with your profile although its a bit long....I had to force myself to read the whole thing.


Yeah my friend kind of wins there I guess... his profile is so short when he was done putting it together the site said it was below the minimum length allowable.. that was when he told me to just add some fluff to it to make it work.


The other thing is, when SCANNING profiles, I dont read the whole thing if the top part doesnt fit my bill. You have "lover not a fighter" under profession....if I was SCANNING, I'd click off your profile right there.....


Eh well I can change that to reflect my title but I don't want someone to want me just because of what I do for a job... who would? What I do to make money has nothing to do with who I am as a person... I've also done just about every job you can think of from computer tech support to auto repair to construction work to data entry... how does my -current- job position tell anyone how well-rounded I am? And what difference does it make since I'm on a dating site not applying for a job?


I also don't feel comfortable with your screen name....it is contradictory to what you say you are looking to find....


Ok wait what? How does my screenname which includes "Lovin" contradict that I'm looking for love? I'm confused here... if you mean by that I had set "dating" before really I think that's the stupidest part of this site anyway, where it asks you to categorize what you're looking for... this is a DATING site is it not? EVERY relationship of whatever kind typically starts with A DATE so two people can see how they match up right? I think they should just take that whole part away entirely... cuz if I really had to explain it, what I'm looking for is: Talk/Chat until we are Friendship and then maybe we can go be Dating until we determine we want to be Activity Partners at which time you might want something Short Term which includes a few Intimate Encounters with me then you end up falling for me and we end up with a Long Term relationship which is more along what I'm looking for... go figure, that covers almost every "category" right there and all I did was describe the TYPICAL chain of events between any two people!! See how nonsensical that thing is? =P


Lastly...you do not have any body shots. I bet he does...


Actually the responses were pouring in before he even HAD a picture... and the only one he ended up putting up was just a pic of his face and the tiniest little bit of his shoulders, straight-on with him looking down at the camera so the ceiling was in the background behind him.
 Foxden30
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 252
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History
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/12/2007 2:22:22 PM
My personal experience has been very positive. I do not normally search but when I receive an e-mail from a woman who looks interesting I respond and offer a phone number . More often then not the person will respond and we make arrangements to get together. I do not believe in extended e-mail or telephone conversations, I like to get in front of the person and find out who they are as it is a lot easier to uncover the bs that is common to a site like this.
 MeloFelo
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 253
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/12/2007 5:29:50 PM

have actually met men from Fish. I have also met men from other online dating sites. It's not hard for me to meet men online. It's difficult for me to find love not people.


Although I'm male, and much older, my experience here parallels yours. It's easy to make dates from on here, if that's all you want. I've learned to take a little time, and delve a bit below the surface, prior to meeting. I actually met 4 from on here in 9 weeks, and have found "the one" now. Part of finding the right one, I think, is not getting too sidetracked by focusing on dating just to date, and only meeting those with whom there is some base of compatibility.

My guess is that those who whine about not making any dates, are trying to simultaneously carry on discussions with a dozen members of the opposite sex. The truth is, in my experience, "less is more" in terms of really discovering who you're talking to. Mass emails, and two line responses, don't hold a lot of promise. Paying attention and in depth discussions do, and even if they don't lead to a relationship, are inherently more beneficial in a number of ways.
 *Lily Pad*
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 254
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/12/2007 6:02:50 PM
kjay ,,,, totally agree with everything you have said !!! I'm also thinking the bar would actually be better.
 sentimental1
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 255
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/14/2007 5:03:39 PM
You have nothing to worry about. Just be a gentleman, and if you see a girl you are interested start talking to her.. YOu are not lacking in the looks area.... and you are actually a nice guy.. Your friend, if you want to call him that, sounds so immature. I can't stand it when guys send emails like that.. It is so fake and immature.. I dust them off in a sec... What the heck,you are only 27 ! I think you probably will meet someone at work or wherever you hang out... good luck.. sentimental
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 256
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/15/2007 7:23:36 AM
LovinMike made some great points and I enjoyed reading his posts.

Please, DO NOT change your dating approach and emulate your friend's. At your friend's age (I'm assuming he's very young), most dating activity is just silly fooling around and flirting, nothing really substantive. I'd also like to see the "kind of" women he's attracting. They sound like the female versions of immature, stupid horndog men most of the women on dating sites complain about so much.

I'm sure all his relationships are frivolous, artificial, and short-term. If that's all you want, it's up to you, but most people get tired of the superficiality real fast. I'll also say this, if he keeps the same arrogant, uneducated, Neanderthal, dumb*ss persona in later years most women will pass. They simply won't put up with it. And he won't have his youthful looks and swagger to hide behind once he starts getting older, and without them there doesn't seem to be much left?

You should be going for "quality", not quantity.

Mo
 Nanzie
Joined: 5/8/2007
Msg: 257
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History
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/15/2007 10:15:48 PM
OK... I think I've gone out with (met for coffee, dinner or an outing) about 8 men from this site over the past 3 months, so meeting men isn't a problem, as someone already mentioned... it's finding the "right fish in the pond"... Making new friends here has been fun, and many I'm remaining friends with, but I've yet to find someone who seems to be just right for me. We all have criteria... and just when I think I may have found "Mr. Right", lol, I learn something about him (like he smokes pot sometimes, and I don't care for that)... so I keep looking. That's just reality of the dating world... discovering things about someone who has caught your interest.

However, I do have a theory here also....

My theory here is that we may meet someone interesting, but because we're so exposed on the Internet with lots of opportunities knocking at our door each week, we may not give that person we've just met enough of a chance... expecting them to either knock our sox off the first time we meet, or we simply toss them aside and look for the next opportunity. ( Sometimes it really takes a second or third date to discover someone's real qualities.) Hmmm... I wonder if this is keeping many people from getting into committed relationships... What do you think?

 MeloFelo
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 258
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/15/2007 10:26:01 PM

My theory here is that we may meet someone interesting, but because we're so exposed on the Internet with lots of opportunities knocking at our door each week, we may not give that person we've just met enough of a chance... expecting them to either knock our sox off the first time we meet, or we simply toss them aside and look for the next opportunity. ( Sometimes it really takes a second or third date to discover someone's real qualities.) Hmmm... I wonder if this is keeping many people from getting into committed relationships... What do you think?


I think it depends on what your hopes and expectations are. If you feel you really "need" a relationship, and companionship and friendship are sufficient for your needs, great. It will be easy enough to accomplish that.

If you need the "grand passion" or "love of your life", no, it doesn't take a second or third date, if you've spent time getting to really know each other online and on the phone in advance, but it's not something that you can predict happening in any particular time frame.

For me, I didn't want or need a relationship, if it wasn't the grand passion. In one sense, I found her after meeting 4 women on here, and in 9 weeks. In another sense, I'd been looking for "her" since I got divorced 8 years ago, and through however many dates over 8 years.

POF works just fine. In my case, I'd say "great", but all it is, is a very efficient way to briefly meet a lot of people. Maybe you'll find "the one" quickly, or maybe not at all, but that's true of dating, no matter how you go about it.
 buffaloriver_honey
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 259
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History
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/11/2007 8:17:44 AM
NANZIE....................I DONT GET ON TYHE FORUMS OFTEN; SO I WILL RESPOND TO YOUR REPLY TO ME....................ALL THE PONDS HAVE DRIED UP AROUND HERE
BUT THE FRIENDS THAT I HAVE MADE ON HERE ARE GREAT
 dee**
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 260
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/11/2007 8:28:41 AM
I have met 2 guys from here, and both were great guys. The first one I only had a connection with over the phone and when we finally met there was just nothing there. The second one I met was just fantastic...extremely good looking and sweet and we had tons of chemistry. We dated for about 3 weeks untill we both decided to call it quits. He works opposite shifts then me so we never saw eachother and then he was spending more time with his ex of 10 years then myself. So that was the end of it. I am back out here again, just unsure about meeting anyone else. I have not found anyone that I clicked with like those 2 so im still fishing and talking to alot of great guys....ill post with my next meeting weather it is good or bad LOL

cheers
 Ur Xoxo
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 261
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/11/2007 12:08:21 PM
I've also met two women, dates if U will. Wrote a few others.

One lady and I have been conversing numerous times.

But U know I'm slow as a turtle.

Keep on posting,
Ur Xoxo
 harleyblue
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 262
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/11/2007 1:04:15 PM
I'm not really going on any dates. Had one a few months ago.. he just wanted to sleep with me and when I shot him down, he emailed me the next day to tell me that there weren't any sparks and he didn't want to talk to me anymore. Talked to another guy for a while via email and phone.. he got offended because I didn't want him to bring his 8 year old son with him to meet me. Now I am talking with a guy on here who seems decent, but.. we'll see. Like one of the posters said, I wish we could list the profile names of the obvious players....... anyway.. I think I am about ready to try meeting people in the real world for a change...
 MeloFelo
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 263
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/11/2007 1:15:55 PM

Had one a few months ago.. he just wanted to sleep with me and when I shot him down, he emailed me the next day to tell me that there weren't any sparks and he didn't want to talk to me anymore. Talked to another guy for a while via email and phone.. he got offended because I didn't want him to bring his 8 year old son with him to meet me. Now I am talking with a guy on here who seems decent, but.. we'll see. Like one of the posters said, I wish we could list the profile names of the obvious players


I think the point of the OP was to question if there were real people really meeting on POF. I think the answer has shown that there are.

Your post reflects that you have a lot of filters, so as to determine compatibility, before dating. That's a good thing. Apparently, you would only want to meet a man, who doesn't think sex is part of dating, wheras I was looking for a woman, who had a more compatible attitude, and wanted sex to be part of getting to know each other, if there were sparks.

Had you and I been talking in email, hopefully we would have filtered each other out, so there would have been no date, but POF would have worked just fine, just as it should. You have met other men, and I have met several woman, and am now involved in a serious relationship with a woman from POF. Again, POF worked just fine, and just as it was designed to do.
 harleyblue
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 264
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/11/2007 2:43:30 PM
Your post reflects that you have a lot of filters, so as to determine compatibility, before dating. That's a good thing. Apparently, you would only want to meet a man, who doesn't think sex is part of dating, wheras I was looking for a woman, who had a more compatible attitude, and wanted sex to be part of getting to know each other, if there were sparks.


I don't think that I have a lot of filters.. I just know what I want and don't want out of this. No, I don't want to meet a man who doesn't think that sex is a part of dating... sex is a very important part of a relationship.. However, I don't feel that it should be part of a first date/meeting! If we had gone out a few more times and gotten to know each other better, then sex may have become a part of getting to know each other... but it never got to that point. He figured that since I wouldn't sleep with him on the first date that I wasn't worth getting to know!


...POF would have worked just fine, just as it should. You have met other men, and I have met several woman, and am now involved in a serious relationship with a woman from POF. Again, POF worked just fine, and just as it was designed to do.


I am glad that you met someone on POF.. but I don't think that there is a certain way that POF should or should not work. Yes, I've met other men.. but nothing serious. Guess I am just way too picky since I won't have sex on the first date and don't want my date bringing his children along when he meets me for the first time! My experience with POF is that sometimes it works, sometimes not.
 Tilapia007
Joined: 8/24/2007
Msg: 265
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/11/2007 3:06:46 PM
One. I've had exactly one date from this site. I've been more satisfied with other, "for pay" sites, but the truth is finding Mr. Right is not a budget priority for me right now. I'm too busy - and too tired - to play a dating game, and I've learned a whole lot in the past few years that makes me highly selective where I will allot my time. Some would call that snooty. Whatever. I call it practical.
 debb1110
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 266
view profile
History
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/11/2007 3:08:40 PM
Yes I too have been out on a few dates.Havent met anyone really special but I have made a few good friends.Ive only been on this site a few months so who knows.I believe anything is possible.
 MeloFelo
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 267
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/11/2007 5:02:11 PM
However, I don't feel that it should be part of a first date/meeting! If we had gone out a few more times and gotten to know each other better, then sex may have become a part of getting to know each other... but it never got to that point. He figured that since I wouldn't sleep with him on the first date that I wasn't worth getting to know!


Assuming that there are "sparks" or "chemistry", some mature men feel that adults should incorporate getting to know each other sexually, as well as emotionally, in the process of exploring a relationship. That's not a "judgment" of your "worth" as a human being. It's that you feel that you want to "go out a few more times", before getting to know each other sexually, and the man wasn't comfortable with feeling that he was "under scrutiny" for a few more dates, before being given "acceptance" enough to actually share the point and purpose of a relationship, as you explore it.

It's merely a man having a defined "relationship paradigm" that he believes will work, that is different from yours. In other words, you are not sexually compatible, nor do you share a similar view of what each should bring to a potential relationship as his/her contribution to beginning one. No harm/no foul/no match, in other words.

POF is a website, that allows men and women to make contact, and from there, it's up to them. If you are "meeting" men, then POF is "working", and in being able to "filter out" men, who aren't compatible, before going through the effort of having a "bad date", it is demonstrating that it is an efficient medium for looking at possibilities. Having your preferences, so long as they don't filter out everyone, is not a bad thing. I would far prefer to sit at home, and do things I enjoy, than to be on a "first date" with a woman, who has a view of sexuality in dating similar to yours. I would think, from what you said, that it would be vice versa for you.

Without the "filters", or "being picky", you have basically said that you could date frequently from this site. That, too, has been my experience. So, "how many dates" can be a function of "how picky" you are, in terms of making first dates.
 Stargaze71
Joined: 4/26/2007
Msg: 268
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/14/2007 7:36:52 AM
So far a big ole' goose-egg from POF. I've tried a few of these types of sites and the only one I've ever had any success with is Match. Still crossin' the fingers though ;)
 Violet Tigress
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 269
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/14/2007 9:48:40 AM
If I wasn't particular, I could have had at least....3 or 4. I had better luck without pictures.
 WonkaBar
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 270
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/14/2007 12:28:13 PM
I've been on a whopping two dates from POF, after having been here for several years. One, a five-minute 'coffee drive-by' for her to judge me "not worthy". The second, an apparently fun lunch date that wound up with her ditching me while I was in the men's room.

Batting a thousand so far.
 MeloFelo
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 271
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/16/2007 4:10:06 PM

I don't think that there is a certain way that POF should or should not work.


When I say "should" work, I am referring to whether or not it is worth the time invested in it, for me, from my perspective. In making that decision, I'm comparing POF with the other ways available to me,to meet women, with the potential to ultimately find a relationship.

It's a lot less stressful than making dates at the salad bar in the grocery store, and in my experience, I've had far "better" dates from POF. I't "easier", and leads to "better matches", in other words, in my experience.

Part of that, too, is it offers ample opportunity for the "double filter" process to apply, prior to having a "bad date". You can email, and talk on the phone for a couple of weeks, prior, to screen out the obvious mismatches. In a way, the ones that I am intrigued by, but then discover a major area of incompatiblity before we meet, is an example of POF "working". You learn a lot about each other, prior to meeting, and while not every "first date" is "great", I've had a much higher percentage of pleasant, if not more, experiences from POF, than any other means available.
 MeloFelo
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 272
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/16/2007 4:12:56 PM

The second, an apparently fun lunch date that wound up with her ditching me while I was in the men's room.


Perhaps a bit of introspection is in order. It's a pretty unusual thing, for someone to actually disappear in the middle of a lunch date, so why did that happen? By itself, of course, she could have just been a "whack job", but taken in conjunction with the rest of your experience, it would lead me to wonder if you might not be better served considering what you might do differently, rather than convincing yourself that you're fine, and the problem is POF.
 lakeside81
Joined: 6/2/2007
Msg: 273
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/16/2007 4:17:21 PM
Zero on this site. 4 on a previous site. I really wasn't taking this site seriously until I started reading the Forums in late August.
 kat1951
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 274
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/16/2007 4:35:57 PM
I have only been on this site for about a month and have had two meetings or "dates". Both were very nice guys. I think I made one of them mad when I asked his political and religious views, and the other one has too many personal problems for me to deal with. Most of my contacts have been nuts or perverts. Where are all the good men
 A_Blueyedbabe
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 275
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/16/2007 4:42:31 PM
Many members here on Plentyoffish, take dating sites way too seriously.
I go on dates, often. I have made some very good friends too.
Have even introduced a few,to other lady friends.
Making friends & using Fish as a social helper, is an approach, I feel many should try. Whether your looking for Long term or Friends. It all has to start somewhere.
Too high of expectations leaves you all home alone, when you could be socializing.
Get out & live. Life is too short Many men on here work so hard they cant find time to buy new socks ,let alone meet someone they chat with & live close to ,for coffee.
To them they are making $$$$money.
Sadly, they dont have luggage racks on the hurst's . (pardon my spelling)
Make a new friend. That person, may just be your next love.

Nothing is forever , but Today is a new day.
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