Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 bakingsoda5
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 205
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?Page 11 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
As in this is my forum only profile now, but before on my dating profile I had been on since April. I had corresponded with many men. Conversed on the phone with a limited amount but only have met 5. That being said, out of the five, three ended up being a one time meeting only (with two of those ending as friends-go figure); one just ended as quickly as it began; and the last one...well we're seeing where that goes at the moment.

I'm sure there are people on here that are in it for the flattery aspect. I've read testimonies to that fact. However you can weed those out promptly. My protocol for this all is correspond by email; if that's good progress to phone calls then a meeting. Timing is an individual thing. Don't wait around forever though.

And you better believe when I wanted to meet someone face to face I'd let them know. It would be crazy not to do so.
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 208
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/9/2007 4:59:40 AM

Also, Nanzie, a little cleavage and a smile in the photos kind of helps


I second that opinion.

Btw, congrats on your success, glowin'. Another POF success story.

Mo
 Nanzie
Joined: 5/8/2007
Msg: 209
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/9/2007 4:56:35 PM
Thanks, Okeedokee and Motown. lol...

And BuffaloRiver, I've learned that everyone is beautiful in their own way, and everyone attracts different people. You look like a fun person, and I know there are men who find you attractive!! But, even so, outer beauty is nothing unless the inner beauty shines.... and if the inner beauty is shining, it matters less what the outside package looks like.... Hope that made sense.

I think if you do some "fishing" in a pond near you, lol, cast out your line and see if you can't get a fish or two to nibble. Don't just wait for them to come fishing for you.... there are too many fish on here to compete with, lol, so be assertive!!!

Confidence, a good sense of humor, compassion and honesty are the best bait to use when you're casting out your line.... ;-) Don't lose hope!

~N
 Fun_Jess
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 210
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/9/2007 6:49:32 PM
lets seeeeeeee hmmmmmmmm big fat friggin ZERO!
 AV8_R
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 219
view profile
History
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/10/2007 6:24:53 PM
What you say fits my experience exactly. I joined over a month ago, and it seems I have only met addicted on-line daters, IM'ers, flirters, men just looking for an ego boost. God, I wish I could list them, you know, so that other women would be aware of their game! One fellow didn't know that filling out "no" on his profile to answer if he had any children actually meant that he'd fathered one. Turned out he has a 6 year old son (not living with him). Duh. Another, avidly pursued me with 2 phone messages, and two phone conversations in one day, with a promise to meet up later that night. With a later call, said he had way too much work to catch up on, and couldn't go out! Two others thought I would be convinced even though they had children. One fellow actually asked me what my style of dress was. Oh, and those who just write "wow", or "ooohhh weeeee you're beautiful".... Duh.... Anything else between da ears?? For the most part, this is a waste of time. I feel silly, though, 'cause I still check in, hoping that perfect astrological match reads my profile, is spiritually inclined, and matches all the other hobbies I have... Is this too wierd? Wouldn't it be nice when you read a guys profile, there's a button to check who's blocked him, and why. Yeah, I know there are negative, vengeful women out there too, who would lap this button up, but wouldn't it be nice...
 deejamar
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 223
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/11/2007 3:44:56 PM
I have to answer your reply on dating on the internet. I did meet one guy one here who changes his profile and name around b ecause he is what we would call a player. Women beware. He trys to get fresh with you in the movies and walks out on you in the movies claiming he has to go to work. Then you dont here from him again. (Hint he is a massage therapist) watch the losers. I have met the nice and friendly ones who are my friends anre gentlemen and have class (compare to the players who have no class) I actually met some nice guys at the party they had at Howl at the Moon. I agree that its hard to find a decent guy to date on the internet , and you are right you can easily find someone in a bar or somewhere else. i usually get picked up wherever I go out, but I am not interested in meeting men in bars. I have friends who fix me up with their friends. Since I have only been single a short time now (since may of this year) My friends are eager to get me to meet their friends and cousans and whoever they run into that is single. But, to tell you the truth, I enjoy being single and and I am not in a rush to go out and meet someone if it happens ok, but I take my time meeting friends and see where it develops..
Danna
 Ginger or Mary Anne?
Joined: 7/13/2007
Msg: 228
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/12/2007 11:51:23 AM
I have actually met men from Fish. I have also met men from other online dating sites. It's not hard for me to meet men online. It's difficult for me to find love not people.



Mariane
 Foxden30
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 231
view profile
History
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/12/2007 2:22:22 PM
My personal experience has been very positive. I do not normally search but when I receive an e-mail from a woman who looks interesting I respond and offer a phone number . More often then not the person will respond and we make arrangements to get together. I do not believe in extended e-mail or telephone conversations, I like to get in front of the person and find out who they are as it is a lot easier to uncover the bs that is common to a site like this.
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 235
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/15/2007 7:23:36 AM
LovinMike made some great points and I enjoyed reading his posts.

Please, DO NOT change your dating approach and emulate your friend's. At your friend's age (I'm assuming he's very young), most dating activity is just silly fooling around and flirting, nothing really substantive. I'd also like to see the "kind of" women he's attracting. They sound like the female versions of immature, stupid horndog men most of the women on dating sites complain about so much.

I'm sure all his relationships are frivolous, artificial, and short-term. If that's all you want, it's up to you, but most people get tired of the superficiality real fast. I'll also say this, if he keeps the same arrogant, uneducated, Neanderthal, dumb*ss persona in later years most women will pass. They simply won't put up with it. And he won't have his youthful looks and swagger to hide behind once he starts getting older, and without them there doesn't seem to be much left?

You should be going for "quality", not quantity.

Mo
 Nanzie
Joined: 5/8/2007
Msg: 236
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 8/15/2007 10:15:48 PM
OK... I think I've gone out with (met for coffee, dinner or an outing) about 8 men from this site over the past 3 months, so meeting men isn't a problem, as someone already mentioned... it's finding the "right fish in the pond"... Making new friends here has been fun, and many I'm remaining friends with, but I've yet to find someone who seems to be just right for me. We all have criteria... and just when I think I may have found "Mr. Right", lol, I learn something about him (like he smokes pot sometimes, and I don't care for that)... so I keep looking. That's just reality of the dating world... discovering things about someone who has caught your interest.

However, I do have a theory here also....

My theory here is that we may meet someone interesting, but because we're so exposed on the Internet with lots of opportunities knocking at our door each week, we may not give that person we've just met enough of a chance... expecting them to either knock our sox off the first time we meet, or we simply toss them aside and look for the next opportunity. ( Sometimes it really takes a second or third date to discover someone's real qualities.) Hmmm... I wonder if this is keeping many people from getting into committed relationships... What do you think?

 comingclean
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 254
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/17/2007 12:17:27 PM
I found someone the same day I joined, actually

We messaged here starting Wednsday, then moved onto facebook and then Instant messaging. We met friday in person and we got along amazingly well. He's currently studying overseas, but we've promised to stay in touch as much as possible, since we're both in school, and we've agreed that come December, when he comes back for the holidays, if we still feel the same about each other we're going to get more serious.
 dauntless49
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 263
view profile
History
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/18/2007 2:34:52 AM
Here, here Ms MisKondukt. I hear your pain. Too touchy and they think you're desperate! Mostly, the only way I know I've been rejected is "Read, Deleated" on the Sent page. I"ve sent my number out to so many women that it should be on every bathroom wall for two hundred miles around. Just kill me!
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 273
view profile
History
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/25/2007 6:25:46 PM
I'm not sure if this is off topic or not....
If a guy views me but doesn't send me anything..I assume that means he isn't interested?. So, I don't send anything to him. This may sound old fashioned, but it's been my experience that if you don't let men lead in this kind of thing, you can't be sure they really are attracted to you. Seems to me anytime I've taken the initiative I just get my feelings hurt. Which, I'm a big ( pun intended..) girl, I can handle it..but why put myself through that?...
And, knowing that I will only be attractive to a small percentage of the male population, because I'm big, it makes it hard.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 276
view profile
History
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/25/2007 9:18:30 PM
Well, thank you melo...
It's not silence I'm afraid of, I've been doing this long enough to understand that. Even the hottest, most attractive people are going to appeal to everyone. It's the nasty comments I don't handle well, or the rudeness. Anyway, I appreciate your perspective.
 Stimpygurl
Joined: 8/14/2007
Msg: 280
view profile
History
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/26/2007 9:02:52 PM
I went through a horrible time right after my separation from my ex hubby. Our adopted daughter kicked me in the mouth and broke my leg and I had to have emergency oral surgery and walked with a limp for a long time. As I healed I joined POF and started dating. My self confidence was horrible but I posted some cool pics and had an extreme makeover in the dental department. I started getting all kinds of dates! With POF I have had over 37 dates in two months. There were some days that I was double booked. I met some great guys and some really awful ones and I now have a great guy that is creative and kind and just amazing. I am not a serial dater anymore and I actually needed that kind of attention for the two months to get the self assurance that I was desirable and beautiful. Now I am loving myself and happy again.

I needed POF to get my feet back in the dating pool and it did it's job. I made some great friends and I am really happy!
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 282
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/27/2007 8:31:58 AM
I've just read the last few posts. I agree with all those that say Internet dating sites are not a panacea for your dating ills, nor do they guarantee success. They're just tools to use as you wish, nothing more.

I "know" some work very hard and put in the effort (actively searching the sites, sending out emails, fine-tuning their profiles) but have very little or nothing to show for it. Of course this breeds frustration, depression, and anger—no one wants to feel seemingly "unworthy" as relationship material. This in turn leads to understandable (but in my view baseless) derision and finger-pointing, blaming all kinds of things on dating sites these sites have no control over, like the quality of choices, location, member behavior regarding responses, etc.

Bottom line is since everybody has different dynamics of lifestyle, outlook, and personality, and live under different circumstances; across-the-board advice for "everybody" is rather ridiculous. Everything should be on a case-by-case basis. Even with all things "believed" to be equal, some will always have better dating success than others. The question is how obsessive do you want to be over it and how much are you going to allow it to control your life on here?
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 286
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 9/27/2007 9:20:08 AM
I'll tell you my experience from being on multiple dating sites over years: Do I get "some" attention (though not as much as people may think, and nowhere near what women with sexy pics get)? Yes. And the feedback I get about my profile runs about 99% favorable. I have no problem getting a date. But the occasional date is not really what most of us are looking for on dating sites, is it? For many the ultimate goal is a meaningful, serious, healthy, exclusive relationship.

My stumbling block (again, goes back to each person has their own unique circumstances) seems to be I'm interested and attracted to classy, intelligent, attractive (but evidently high maintenance) women---women that expect to be pursued, with all the attendant male actions and behavior that entails. This I refuse to do because, for one, I simply can't afford the dating lifestyle these women are used to and enjoy, and, two, I abhor the people in the snobbish, upwardly mobile social circles they inhabit.

However, I do not in any way believe the dating sites themselves are at fault regarding why I'm still single. I don't even blame the women. I'm not one to declare I'm some prize they're too foolish to pass up. I'm know they have their criteria, and it's non-negotiable in their eyes.

But if there's one thing that really irritates me on these sites is the occasional message stating why somebody like me is still single? Many women think I'm either a player or think of myself as God's Gift to their gender. After just revealing what I feel are my relationship inadequacies and belief that "I'm" the one that doesn't think he measures up, these kinds of allegations are patently comical and rather insulting.

Anyway, I could say the same about the hundreds of pages of gorgeous women I see on sites like these month after month after month? Why are YOU still single? I know when they're confronted with the same question their inevitable reply is, "Well, my friends and family think I'm way too picky, but I simply won't 'settle'". Good for you, but if your checklist is that restrictive don't then blame dating sites or the opposite gender as the reasons why you're still single.
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 293
view profile
History
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 11/1/2007 8:26:18 PM
I posted earlier, but didn't reply directly to the OP's question.

I'm not unhappy with the results. I've been on several dates, even in the beginning when I wasn't trying. I've been on more from my pay site. None have worked out as a long term thing, but with the exception of two bad dates, they were all nice guys. I don't have really high expectations. It's just another option. And being the hopeless romantic I am, I believe when it is going to happen it will. I'm actually not in any hurry. In the meantime, the forums keep me happy and busy...
 Videoboy56
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 308
view profile
History
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 11/5/2007 7:02:54 AM
I was going to post a new thread, but I think my concern is covered in this one: When is it OK to suggest speaking on the phone? I have met a few nice women here, but mostly I get no response as soon as I ask if we may talk on the phone. This usually comes after a couple of e-mails because I already know I'm interested, and I don't know what else to say in an e-mail. Am I not supposed to show interest? Doesn't anyone want to talk on the phone anymore? Apparently, I haven't learned the proper etiquette for the e-mail age, because I'm obviously frightening a lot of women by not sending 50 e-mails back and forth before I ask if we may actually talk sometime. I'm really not Ted Bundy, but I seem to be coming across that way. Some honest tips on how to proceed after the first e-mail response would be appreciated.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 315
view profile
History
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 11/12/2007 7:45:49 PM
I've hit a bit of a dry spell lately, but in the past, I have met a boyfriend here and have had some great dates with a few guys. Bad dates too. When I first joined up, I got about 2-6 emails a week. Now I hardly get any. But there are certainly people dating from this site. I still suspect that there are more attractive single women in my area than attractive men though. I wish we had access to those kinds of stats.

I wanted to add a response to the man who asked about scaring off women by asking for the phone number. They may have just decided that there wasn't a connection by the time that came around, but some of them might be thinking that they don't want you to have their number too. I personally have made a lot of first meeting arrangements before giving out a phone number, because if they turn out to be undesirable, or crazy, or stalker-like, I just don't want them to know my number and therefore also know where I live (there is reverse look-up on our online phone book). So what I do is plan a meeting at a public place, and explain I don't give out my number until later. Often, men will just offer up their cell phone number anyway (and not need mine - I find this a good sign if they are not insisting on trying to get mine, especially after I've explained why I am careful) in case something comes up and I need to reach them. I tell them to IM me on MSN or email me if something comes up with them (and I check this before I leave home). I am very protective of my home phone number, as I don't want to have to change just because I met some nut online.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 322
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 10/23/2008 5:16:39 PM
I don't think of or consider "how many".

You just don't know, so the few men that I meet and have met, it wasn't because I was trying to fill time or need a reason to get out of the house.

There are different interests, different kinds of interest and until you get to the face to face it's more theoretical. Depending IMO on the transparency of the other person and also our own perception.

From reading the threads, it's obvious that some will still want to continue to communicate and/or meet when the other person has been upfront but the other person's perception they deny because they're only paying attention to physical attraction, or they think once they meet it won't matter, they can overcome the stated incompatabilities.

Not only do many see obvious red flags, sometimes the other person points out the red flags but they meet anyway.

I don't meet that many that often, never have. It's never up to one person, but up to both to do a face to face and see what happens or doesn't.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >