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 green/eyes
Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 26
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?Page 2 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
I have no idea why I have not run into too many players/questionable characters on here,,,In the past 18 months or so (I have deleted my profile a couple of times, and started over), I have met 23 people, in person from POF. Only one of these turned out to be a little dicey. Most others, were pretty nice people and we hit it off fairly well. I dated one of them for 11 months, and I keep in contact with four of them, all of whom would drop everything if I needed their help.

I am fairly good at reading between the lines of someone's profile, and/or their e-mails. I do NOT post a pic, nor email a pic except in a few cases. I am totally aware there needs to be a physical interest/connection between two people,,,but it is not necessary for FRIENDSHIP, which I am open to with anyone whom I meet.

That being said,,,anyone who takes the time to read my profile (and you can be pretty sure they actually read it when you don't post a pic), and bothers to send me a decent email, is probably fairly interested in me, as a person, as opposed to judging someone based on a quick look at a photo.

Most of them are surprised and pretty happy with my looks when we do meet, LOL.
They are glad they took the time to email/IM/talk by phone for a little bit before rushing off to meet someone they picked out of a "photo lineup"! Granted, it was a risk that I may have been far from what I told them I looked like, or what they envisioned,,,but the same can be said regarding quality of personality when one risks rushing off to meet someone based on a great pic!

Bottom line,,,I eliminate most of the superficial, out-STRICTLY-for- a-piece-of-ass morons by NOT posting a pic. All I can say is, it has worked for me.
 mrc0516
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 27
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:37:15 AM
Please forgive me: I haven't gone through ALL the posts here, but my "2-cents":

I'm attracted by more than just the picture! There HAS to be some "goodness" in the profile as well! Often, we get what I call the "Miss America" speeches. An outrageous example follows: "I am a very outgoing person! I'd like to teach the blind to see; the deaf to hear..." Tells me NOTHING about the individual (other than someone one has some unrealistic expectations!) Put some "meat" in those narratives ladies (and use a spell/grammer checker as well)!

Well, got a little "off-topic" there, but I've been on ONE date with ONE woman - who, inexpicably, after 15 minutes of idle, friendly chit-chat, grabbed her car keys - and LEFT! I checked and ensured my ropes and pistols were still hidden, I hadn't eaten any flatulence-inducing foodstuffs recently, I'd had a shower (also recently) and had turned the clean side of my underwear in just for the occasion, etc.

STILL - having fun, though! Meeting, communicating with a few very special (by that, I mean "special," but not in the "Special Olympics" sense!) people. AH! "Unrequited love," "rejection!" Should put it on my resume!
 leahmarie
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 28
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:42:38 AM
KJAY.....I agree with everything you said.

I just realized a few weeks ago that I am on the favorites' list of over 50 men. Silly me, I thought some of them might be interested in me. After all, I am on their favorites' list. I contacted a few. They sent me polite emails full of compliments, but they had no romantic or dating interest in me, which reinforces everything you said in your posted.

In connection with actual dating, I met four men from this site --- one was a control freak. The other three posted pictures that were so old, that when they showed up, I didn't recognize them. Consequently, I believe the chances of meeting someone on this site are very slim, although I have not given up.

You mentioned "going to a bar." I did that a week ago Friday and met two guys that wanted to see me again. The "chemistry," as you put it, wasn't there, but one trip to the bar netted two men who actually wanted to date me. I really don't want to do the bar scene, but I haven't a clue as to what else to do to meet eligible men. Incidentally, I was on other dating sites. I had the same experience you mentioned.

My advice to you is --- leave your profile and picture up on the chance that you will meet someone worthwhile. After all, it costs nothing to do so. And yes, take action on your own thoughts -- go back to the bars -- but be careful you do not go to a bar where the emphasis is on drinking. Go to a dance club/cocktail lounge where they charge a cover and have a big dance floor, because you have a better chance of meeting men who are into socializing and dancing, rather than men who are into drinking. The place I went to had a cover, a DJ, and a big dance floor, and I did meet two guys, even though they were not right for me. I am definitely going back there.
 Buffettville
Joined: 7/23/2007
Msg: 29
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How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:44:31 AM
This is a great question, especially for those of us who have recently begun this adventure.
I would think it's only common courtesy for someone to at least respond.
I've begun stating that I will gladly accept "Okay," "Not a chance," or "Let's talk some."
So far, this has been a tremendous waste of time. What do these women really want from this? I'm beginning to think I can't believe anything they say, especially those who say they want an good, honest guy. They really don't!! And how would they know, they don't even read your profile. As far as I'm concerned, that throws their credibility right out the window.
I've begun shopping for a dog, the four-legged kind.
 felixelcato
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 30
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:44:37 AM
You mean this is a dating site? Go figure. i never saw that one coming.
 Winter Sparkle
Joined: 6/3/2007
Msg: 31
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 11:48:33 AM
I come for the forums now.
I no longer go out on dates from online.
Never did pick up in a bar either.........hmmmmm. Guess the next stop are the grocery stores!
 Irreverent Lass
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 32
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 12:06:31 PM
Welllll....

I'm not a serial dater. I'm one of those types that is comfortable being alone, not in a rush just to have something or someone to "do". I'll take my time and in the process hopefully not hurt any feelings along the way.

I don't want to waste someone else's time by going out with them unless I feel pretty strongly that there is a chance for a connection. I can tell that in a series of emails and other conversations fairly soon and then can consider what to do from there. I'm not about hurting feelings or having to break up with people because we've been on 3 dates. I'd prefer to avoid that and invest my time where I see the potential for the greatest return. And to be perfectly frank, I don't always see it.

That's just the way I personally handle online dating. In the past year I have been out with 4 or 5 men. Of those, one amazing guy I just didn't have the chemistry with will be a friend always.

I also met one woman! We went searching for a free tennis court a couple of weeks ago, couldn't find one, so went for a walk along the seawall and talked about POF and men in general. Probably one of the best dates I've had in a long time.

 profound
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 33
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 12:20:20 PM
the one date that i really enjoyed and would do again was from a wonderful woman from ohio . we met for dinner had some wonderful conversation which lasted until about 2 in the morning. the woman i have met from the state of new jersey, which i reside in. seem to have alot of problems. or are disenchanted with males altogether. of course i am not a professional in that area. but woman get agrip and get over yourselfs life is to short.
 northern.lights
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 34
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 12:30:12 PM
A website known as edatereview dot com has some vicious and scathing user reviews of the big 4.

Eharm
match
lava
yahoo

One person who was sorely disappointed, posted the following against match, yesterday from new jersey. Let me make it very clear that these are not my words. And, I don't necessarily agree with all the things he's saying about the women. A curious observation - people seem to hate the product (sites) because of the people on them.

...Is it possible that all of the men who are frustrated with match.com use this site as a catharsis and the men who have been successful using match.com are content and perhaps even unaware that this review site exists? With that caveat in mind, let be go on to speculate about what MAY be occurring in the brains of the women on match.com: No doubt, in the course of time, the women using this service receive many, perhaps thousands, of hits from men. The attention they receive generates reinforcing reward sensations in the brain. Like laboratory rats that have learned to press a lever in order to receive electrical stimulation to reward centers in the brain, match.com women have become conditioned to press their keyboard to receive brain reward stimulation from the daily email complements they receive from men. To actually decide to commit to one of these men would of course terminate the conditioned reward process. The withdrawal symptoms associated with this include depression and anxiety. In other words, I am hypothesizing that many of the women on match.com have a clinical form of addiction. Unless they seek treatment by actually pulling the plug on their pc (cold turkey) and choosing to enter a long term relationship with a viable man, many of us (men) will continue to be frustrated by this service. What do you think of that Dr. Phil ? ...
 ORCAANNA
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 35
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 1:12:14 PM
no blazing commentary here= i just simply am looking for a " pearl" in a whole lot of oysters. i do like the forums, as they can provoke me into thinking about a whole range of topics. that as of late been thinking about. It would be fine to meet people that have similar views to me, and occassionally, it is stimulating to find opposing views as well.
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 36
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How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 1:19:01 PM
Northern lights, I have to disagree with you. I have found that when women show too much of an interest, it will sometimes scare them off. I happen to be a very affectionate person. When I am into someone, I will definitely show my interest by touching them. Some men get a little freaked out by this. It is almost like they want you to play hard to get, and they like the chase

I don't think it is even possible to be too forward about setting up a first meeting . Hopefully everyone realises that's what we're here for ...nothing wrong with that!!
Many guys think there are too many just interested in some attention on here and it's one sure fire way of proving you are legit by being forward.....that is if she is actually wanting to meet someone.

When men push for meeting soon , women probably get the wrong message (desperate / player/ scary) ....If possible, it might be best if a woman picks a guy and is forward.
However , it is probably best to take it as it goes after meeting in person , IMHO if it's a good match , it will develop....


No doubt, in the course of time, the women using this service receive many, perhaps thousands, of hits from men. The attention they receive generates reinforcing reward sensations in the brain. Like laboratory rats that have learned to press a lever in order to receive electrical stimulation to reward centers in the brain, match.com women have become conditioned to press their keyboard to receive brain reward stimulation from the daily email complements they receive from men. To actually decide to commit to one of these men would of course terminate the conditioned reward process. The withdrawal symptoms associated with this include depression and anxiety. In other words, I am hypothesizing that many of the women on match.com have a clinical form of addiction. Unless they seek treatment by actually pulling the plug on their pc (cold turkey) and choosing to enter a long term relationship with a viable man, many of us (men) will continue to be frustrated by this service. ...

northern.lights.....great post !......a logical and scientific explanation .
That definately fits some on internet dating .
I would say it does not take "thousands of hits" ...just one or two a week maybe?
I personally find any complement as pretty much hollow and meaningless when in "virtual land" ...but maybe others get by on that sort of thing.
 atinkerbelle
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 37
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 1:25:02 PM
For me, it's just been really hard for me to find someone I am physically and mentally attracted to. I have been a member of a few sites in the past several years. I've met so many guys, so many personalites and characters. I have met guys that looked nothing like their pics at all. They have lied about their age, height, weight, past relationships, you name it. Now you see why I'm still looking. I just haven't met Mr. Right.....yet.

Being online has taught me to be smarter and safer. It's taught me patience and perseverence, too. I know what I want and also, what I don't want. In the meantime, I keep on looking because even through these eyes of disappointment, I see my man out there.....somewhere.........
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 38
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How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 1:33:44 PM
I've met so many guys, so many personalites and characters. I have met guys that looked nothing like their pics at all. They have lied about their age, height, weight, past relationships, you name it. Now you see why I'm still looking. I just haven't met Mr. Right.....yet.

Just for the record , there's a thread where you can read about people meeting and whether they look better or worse than their pic, .....from what I read , atleast half or more said most look similar or better. Maybe you've had unusually bad luck ....but IMO ...it's important you don't give women more excuses ....
 LeoLuck
Joined: 4/12/2007
Msg: 39
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How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 1:44:11 PM
This posting really jumped out and hit me!!

1000% accurate - I agree entirely with everything you say!

Glad to find someone saying exactly what I have been thinking.

Many thanks and good luck to you!
 atinkerbelle
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 40
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 1:44:23 PM
But, more importantly...I'm being honest.

Ok, let's see here....how about if I add that I've also met guys that have told me that I look prettier in person?

Would that help dig me outta that hole you just put me in ?
 mrc0516
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 41
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 1:55:20 PM
I'd send you a shovel, but don't think you need it!
 cedar77
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 42
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How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 1:59:53 PM

But, more importantly...I'm being honest.

Ok, let's see here....how about if I add that I've also met guys that have told me that I look prettier in person?

Would that help dig me outta that hole you just put me in ?

Oh of course .... I'm sure your being honest....
If tooting your own horn get's you out of a hole ...then yes ....it does help you.


I believe most of the comments made about this issue,,,,,,,some believe this is dating,,,,,,,,,,,and alot use this to boost their ego,,,,,,,,,,,,,,how many women can I have on my favorites list,,,,,,,,how many women can I chat with and so on,,,,,,,,,,,,I am of the belief it may be best to the hit the streets again iso????

I am on over 40 fav. lists .....trust me , it means very little .
More than half are too far away , most of the other half are clearly not my type.....and they come and go and I don't even know who they are .
I think many who are on lots of fav. lists ...would trade them all for one half decent potential match...they are practically meaningless...
 sandy52
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 43
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 2:00:26 PM
I believe most of the comments made about this issue,,,,,,,some believe this is dating,,,,,,,,,,,and alot use this to boost their ego,,,,,,,,,,,,,,how many women can I have on my favorites list,,,,,,,,how many women can I chat with and so on,,,,,,,,,,,,I am of the belief it may be best to the hit the streets again iso????????
 Headly-D
Joined: 5/13/2007
Msg: 44
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 2:03:58 PM
This is what it is...on these on line dating sites. I a have been on my own for six years now and I have dated former NFL cheerleaders, models, playboy bunnies,a High School teacher with a Master's 15 degree,and stay at home Moms. I checked out 4 dating sites you would be surprised how many girls i see from the previous site. They are all like little girls in a candy store looking for their next piece of sugar. I have constructed my profile in such a manner as to screen out the playe/retts and and the easy ones. i love it ... it works well for me only the wholesome down to earth gals contact me and all is going well!!
 KTDID78
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 45
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How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 2:06:06 PM
I've actually been on quite a few dates with men from POF. Some turned out to be a but psycho, but there have been a few diamonds in the rough as well
 ctjen
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 46
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How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 2:48:40 PM
The pay sites have players as well, I've chatted with and met a few time wasters, men who say they are single/ divorced etc; but not- say they are nearer 6` turn out to be 5` 4" ish Thats ok, It's harmless but as was said, if you meet in a bar, you can see a little of the truth. . .I just had a classic on here, guy has been chatting with me for a week or so, last night caught me on the live chat, asked for a date to meet for a meal, I replied it would be after he came back from a trip away, next question was - - - What is your name???? Huh!!! I did point out my name comes up whilst chatting!!! Yea! Needless to say - -Think he might be ing alone
 HappyLittleFish
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 47
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 6:41:39 PM
I have been on this site for a total of about a month over three times. I've met maybe 20 guys for coffee and make that suggestion as soon as possible because if we aren't going to click in real life, they aren't who they say they are or they freak me out I want to know as soon as possible so I can get on with my life.

If they don't want to meet as soon as possible I'm going to assume we aren't going to click, they aren't who they say they are or they're going to freak me out.

I've met some really decent people and some total freaks so keep your eyes wide open and be safe.

I never go on a 'date' I all ways go for coffee first in the good old day light hours and I all ways let someone know where I'm going and who I think I'm meeting.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 48
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How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 6:56:08 PM
Some people are actually going out and meeting up. Some have a good time and never hear from them again, some just well aren't a match right off for various reasons.

Thing is for those who really are looking for that special person and are determined not to settle, they accept that they're more likely just from probability to meet more that aren't right for them than a few that maybe are. That shouldn't be a big surprise or disappointment, and it's not wrong to hope or wish that the next one may be.

Realistically, even if it's not, you can still enjoy a pleasant conversation, be respectful and honest in saying well it's just not "there" or however you want to phrase it. You can still be polite and respectful and wish them well or choose to be friends.

Realistically, you may or may not meet that person here. If you do give up, that person could join the day after you take your profile down.

Noone likes the wait, me particularly, NOT good at waiting, don't like it. But I did keep reminding myself that the person I was waiting for would be totally worth the wait. Once you've found them, you won't remember how long you waited or care.

So you just have to decide how much and what it is you want and if it's worth waiting for or not. In the meantime, enjoy whoever you come in contact with, I've made the most amazing friends, just a very blessed added bonus.

If you get frustrated, or just want to throw in the towel, take a few days and do something else. Come back when you can be positive about it with a fresh perspective. POF does allow "vacations".... Take whatever time you need, but it should be enjoyable. It's fairly obvious to see who's having fun and enjoying themselves. And after all happy people are more attractive.

UGH...apologies for length, not a soap box, maybe a pep talk. Just trying to be encouraging and sincerely wishing everyone the best wishes in finding someone that'll make you happier than you've ever been.
 sun_shine_2008
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 49
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How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 7:07:01 PM
well I tried my first one from here tonight.........................and it was a no show:(
 silverz3
Joined: 7/3/2007
Msg: 50
How many dates are people actually going on from this site?
Posted: 7/28/2007 7:09:30 PM
Thanks for starting this - I've only been on a short time and the two people I've sent e-mails to didn't even respond with a "get lost". I was married for 27 years and thought I was attractive all that time. I thought I would go on a dating site to meet men, but I don't even get a response. I thought it was because I was old or ugly, or both! I appreciate all the answers on here - I don't feel quite as bad since most of you are younger and prettier than I. Guess I'll go the grocery store more often as well...
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