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Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 130
Weight and SexPage 4 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Well, to start off, I'm glad I'm not the only one out there who's affraid to go all the way with a new friend. I've been married for 25 years, recently divorced and now looking. I have found several guys I'm interrested in, met 5 or 6 and loved what we've done together, but they allways want to go back to my place or go camping or wherever and "see where it goes."
Well, I know where it will go, and that's what scares me. I want sex too, it's been 8 months for me, but after having kids, and aging a bit, and what gravity has done to me, I'm embarrassed to take my clothes off. They allways say things like "I think you're sexy, and I like curves, and don't worry about it, just have fun" but I feel extremely self conscious about my body.
So my question many guys out there really don't care if you're packing a few extra pounds, or some extra baggage? If they say they like you for who you are, do they mean it or do they just want to get laid, and then you'll never see them again?
I'm seriously thinking about a tummy tuck and boob job in a few months, but am I being stupid? should I really just make them take me as I am?

I feel like a misfit toy!
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 131
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/9/2007 7:05:30 PM
well sweetie if you ever want the details of what its like to be coming out of a long marriage and looking at finding a new lover... ask me, I'll tell you. I'm so ready to jump in with both feet, but I'm also petrified of things like pregnancy at 42! STD's and whatever else has been invented in the past 25 years while I've been locked in a cave!

Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 133
view profile
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/9/2007 8:36:09 PM
I have read the posts and think everyone has a good point and yes, all of us women, whether we are 25 or 65 are self-concious about our bodies. But I do think that you have to be happy with who you are and what you look like. It has taken me a long time to get to this point (and I'm still not 100% happy w/myself) but the gals that said if a guy is with you and talking with you and sees you with clothes on must have an idea of what is underneath! And the gals that said most of the guys aren't "Matthew McConahay (sp)" are right! Most of the guys aren't perfect either! So, just enjoy!

Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 140
Weight and Sex
Posted: 8/10/2007 6:07:15 PM
I am big. Big big big. I mean, yeah, I could be bigger. Anyone can always be bigger and I could also be a LOT smaller. So I am very self-conscious about my size because I know a lot of men are VERY put off by it.

The first time my new guy and I did anything (a night of unbridled passion! woo hoo!) I wasn't too inhibited about my body (I don't know WHY though! ACK!), but then he was pulling the sheet off of me. I kept pulling it back on and I said, "I don't want you to see me!"

He then said the sweetest thing: "Honey, I done seen everything there is to see!"

And yet, he was still there with me... And he still IS...

If I lost weight, I could do more positions but other than that....???

My last bf wanted me to do this crazy position that he had seen in a porn movie. Sorry, buddy. I don't weigh 70 pounds.
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 157
Weight and Sex
Posted: 10/2/2007 5:36:54 AM
A woman who is 220 is better toward a man then a woman who is 150 . A). the woman with more weight THINK us men will only love them IF , they sleep with us . NOT so . we want a woman who can be herself . be thin , fat, ugly , drop dead gorguis . as one said "it's in the beholder "
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 163
Weight and Sex
Posted: 10/2/2007 7:59:05 AM
If a man is having sex with a woman, that he is willing to overlook any physical 'flaws' a woman might have. Sometimes it's not the physical 'flaws' that can be a turn off, it's the attitude that some women have that is a turn off. Constantly whining about stretch marks, excessive fat, a big nose etc is annoying to a lot of men.
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 172
Weight and Sex
Posted: 10/2/2007 1:03:46 PM
I think it is pretty funny and sad at the same time that only skinny or HWP people posted here. You all really have some interesting points of view.
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 191
Weight and Sex
Posted: 10/4/2007 10:27:43 AM
Ladies... I know and appreciate that you sometimes feel a little insecure about your bodies.

But allow me to present the guys perspective:

He's most likely thinking along the lines of ""

*this has been a public service announcement from the "Nip Neurosis in the Bud Scoiety"*
Joined: 9/18/2007
Msg: 194
Weight and Sex
Posted: 10/9/2007 11:59:02 AM
I don't have one bit of an issue with me nude. And perhaps I should have, but life is too short to obsess about every little thing.
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 199
Weight and Sex
Posted: 10/11/2007 11:55:40 AM
I could stand to lose 20 lbs . . but, I'm Still as Athletic as a 52-yr-old can Be . . !!!
I've never found 'Large' women to be attractive, though . . 1
- [ " A Few Extra Pounds " means . . a F E W . . Not 80 . . !!! ]
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 200
Weight and Sex
Posted: 10/11/2007 1:06:20 PM
If you get busy with someone you mutually love and respect, it shouldn't matter. Afterall, feeling and being sexy is just a state of mind and matter of selfconfidence. Confidence makes anyone attractive!! If I was worried about someone having a negative attitude towards my body, I would say bye-bye to that is too short to spend it with someone that shallow.
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 215
view profile
Weight and Sex
Posted: 10/31/2007 10:56:20 PM
although i think women are more open about their body concerns, men have the same if not more as they approach the 50's and after having had one partner for a very long time. they just don't quite know how to hang around together and gossip about it, let alone air it all out in a public internet forum.

being in the health care delivery field, studying massage therapy on sabbatical, having had mostly male buddies and two husbands and now my manfriend, i can assure you: men worry about size, width and ability to function pure and simple with respect to their penises. they worry about balding, love handles, stomachs, skinny legs, crooked toes, big noses, acne scarring and lately i'm even hearing about sagging boobs (once muscles) and questions as to whether having chest hair is a good thing or not nowadays!!! of course, even more worry about if they can even get a woman into bed, due to their job, low income, child support payments, etc. etc. so TRULY their concerns are not all that different.

as to scars from pregnancy or even abuse as one young woman mentioned, it doesn't bother them as long as you have a crotch and boobs or reconstructed boobs and most important GOOD HYGEINE. they like nice smells and frilly underwear and things like boots or whatever.

my concern as an observer of "self" and being one who did not give birth to her three children, is that whereas "once" i had a great butt... it has somehow managed to beome loosened in time from the seat of my body and seems to have passed INTO and THROUGH my middle and has somehow now evolved into what appears to be a new appendage, AKA stomach! perhaps post adoption sympathetic pregnancy? will someone please explain this to me? as it's like an alien has somehow begun to take over my body and will soon emerge as if in some horror movie--i just hope "it" doesn't have teeth. and when i dance, somehow it keeps getting in the way of the old bump and grind....hmmm....but will that stop me? heck no, not with this man. however, the good news is that never before having boobs, now i have them. whereas, those who had them, now have them hanging. so, all i can say is that now it's finally my turn--after all, i waited over 55 years for them ladies!!! and alas, with them comes the extra added bonus gift, the ever evolving post menapausal stomach.

seriously... attraction, assuming you aren't just out in the market and pumping every bimbo you come across, is something that truly involves all the senses and if you wait a bit, by the time you get around to doing "it", you will be so busy ripping each other's clothes off, you won't have to worry about the lights--trust me ladies! typically, if a man has attracted to you for whatever reason and vice versa, unless you were born yesterday, you already have a good sense of what each other looks like. and with a little bit of necking in the beginning, you can both certainly do a little probing to address any questions or concerns "arising" from either party!

then just like they cut off all the fat in the model shots in magazines, we all have our turns--walking sideways out the door, pretending to look for something, sucking in the stomach until you think you may never breathe again or better still, leaving by accident a robe on the floor by the bed.

however, once you are DOWN, the pheremones and focus comes into play. whether it's the partner's eyes, voice, body, body part, move, ability, etc. etc. you will find something you like and so will he....SOOOOOOO, DO SWEAT IT! i hope you find it. because it kind of keeps you going when you are pissed off with each other with respect to other (more serious) matters. it's called chemistry. the cake has to taste good, not just look like a piece of plastic in the bakery shop window!!!

again, this assumes you really like each other. the other kind of first encounters for me are just yik--no matter what i or he looks like!!! also it is how he feels and how you feel, the curves or softness or hairy chest (his, not yours)...all sorts of things to keep you on track and not worrying about all the rest.
Joined: 2/19/2005
Msg: 227
view profile
Weight and Sex
Posted: 5/23/2008 9:41:48 AM
weight has nothing to do with sexiness thats a mind set , an attitude more than clothes , looks , and certainly not with lovemaking on the contrary i've dated a few "" heavier women" and swore they were out to wear me to a frazzle , because they feel they're not afforded the opportunities other girls are
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 228
Weight and Sex
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:06:05 AM
It's always classy to meet someone for the first time and do them.
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 230
Weight and Sex
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:43:01 PM
Once someone is kissing me and tugging at my clothes, every flabby spot, blemish and untanned inch of my poor old bod. suddenly slips my mind. --- Media be damned :)
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 235
Weight and Sex
Posted: 5/24/2008 8:03:50 AM
The way I see it, I'm a big girl and not once had I thought that "maybe I should keep my clothes on because he might stare at my belly or ass". He's there for a reason and if he wasn't attracted to me in the first place, he wouldn't be around.

Let the clothes fly!
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 239
Weight and Sex
Posted: 5/26/2008 3:02:37 PM
listen up ladies . we could care less (well me ) what you look like nude . IF , YOU feel good . it should not matter WHAT any man thinks . ever watched the movie where this guy sees this woman who is fat and HE sees her as a knock out babe . everyone else sees her as a hidest fat woman . well , some of you ladies who ARE not FAT . YOU JUST HAVE THE WEIGHT IN THE RIGHT PLACES . So you have some baby fat on your butt . you don't . OH you mean those skinny " model " type .
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 240
Weight and Sex
Posted: 5/26/2008 3:37:36 PM
Humans are visual creatures, men even more so.

A good looking female will draw my eyes like a magnet but then so will a good looking car or bike.

Most of us could use a bit more body maintenace, I know I sure could. Worrying or complaining about it wont help. I love good food and good beer between that and flying a desk these days means I would need a lot of gym time to stay in decent shape.

Sooo get your self in better shape or accept that you just not going to look as good as you could and live with it.
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 244
Weight and Sex
Posted: 5/28/2008 9:27:41 PM

Thank got for them when us women get caught up with a ugly sweaty grunter..

HEY! I only sweat because of the heat of the passion.

And the grunting is usualy far over shadowed by the growling, yelling and bellowing. Or that of a firm hand smacking an a$$.
Joined: 12/14/2003
Msg: 245
Weight and Sex
Posted: 5/28/2008 10:53:12 PM
I feel very comfortable naked.. Shyt I'll go outside and check my mail box naked in the middle of the day I think its a HUGE turn off if a woman is too self concious not to get naked because she thinks she's fat , or has stretch marks. Or when they turn off the lights and its pitch black like I'm have'n sex in the Batcave... I guess thats another reason I go for fit women. Nothing better then a woman who's not afraid to show her body ..
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 249
view profile
Weight and Sex
Posted: 5/30/2008 4:54:00 PM
this post reminds me of a cartoon i once saw:

two naked people (male & female) looking at each they have just undressed.
both are over weight and old(er)
female is laughing at the male pointing to his tool
and says "who are you gonna satisfy with that?"
he replies "me of course who else?"
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 250
Weight and Sex
Posted: 5/30/2008 5:12:42 PM
some men like a woman who is more juicy...its a matter of preference and that should be discussed beforehand.

Self confidence is another issue.
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 255
Weight and Sex
Posted: 6/8/2008 1:14:08 PM
officer fluffy IF you were 40 . I would hope to meet up with you . A woman who can hold herself up . it depends what YOUR man thinks not others . One guy may not like fat woman . I do . he might tell me where to go . I follow what a woman tells me .
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 261
Weight and Sex
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:01:12 PM
Lingerie isn't about hiding it is about accenting.

Back in history a man wore a cod piece not to hide his genitalia but to accent it.

Erotic night ware is that way for women. It is like pretty plumage or those apes with the really swollen red tw@ts.
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