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Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 7
whatchance do youhave after awoman hasput you intothe friends catagoryPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
The thing about dating is when you're interested in someone.. you have to tell them. If they aren't interested back, then you decide if you can just be friends (assuming they want to.. and generally.. if they've given you the time of day at all... they do like you... they just aren't interested in dating you).

It sucks. Yes.

There may be a TINY chance that something will change, but usually.. if you've been niched as a friend... that's where you stay. Which is why it's so crucial to make your interest KNOWN before you get niched.

Y'know... I'm not entirely sure it's correct to use *niched* as a verb... but I did it anyway.

Edit** Hey it IS ok.

*happy dance*
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 18
whatchance do youhave after awoman hasput you intothe friends catagory
Posted: 7/31/2007 9:07:10 PM
A man convicted of molesting 3 year olds has a better chance of getting a job in a daycare or preschool.
An american crapping and wiping his bumm with pages from the Koran in a bagdad street in front of islamic militants

have better odds of coming through the day in one piece then you do of getting ot be more then a friend. Get ready for getting the "just like a gay guy friend" slot which lets you get to hear all the juicy details of what she does on dates with other men.
sorry for ya but join the club.
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 28
view profile
what chance do you have after awoman has put you into the friends catagory
Posted: 8/3/2007 5:06:59 AM
Hey everyone, there's FREE ice skating in he11 today and he is going to date (be with etc.) her forever and ever happily afterwards!
Joined: 6/26/2006
Msg: 31
whatchance do youhave after awoman hasput you intothe friends catagory
Posted: 8/3/2007 10:28:31 AM
there is a way out of the friend zone its simple stop talking to her for like 6months then move back into her life with new clothes new look and come on stronger and you will notice a difference. Also another way is to have another women around her who is flirting with you and making you seem like a sex symbol just ignore your friend and just like ice melts in the hot sun she will get jealous and be like what am i missing. Works almost all the time if the girl is single. People want what they cant have.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 32
whatchance do youhave after awoman hasput you intothe friends catagory
Posted: 8/3/2007 11:03:47 AM
Personally I think it's based on attraction and it happens fairly early. Sometimes that involves confidence or lack of it, but it's mostly physical.

Once you go into a category that's pretty much it, it can't be changed or controlled. The only way to change your status is to find someone else who doesn't put you in it.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 37
whatchance do youhave after awoman hasput you intothe friends catagory
Posted: 8/5/2007 9:56:29 AM

Why is it girls like to be friends first but then state that once you're in the friend zone, you have no chance of changing that? Is this another case of not knowing what you want?

Because it's not that cut and dry. There are friends first and friends only. This guy is asking about friends only.

Most of that is based on lack of attraction, or respect (or both).

Most start out as friends regardless.

If we find someone attractive we'd rather know there's more to someone than just that before we start looking at them as a romantic possibility - at least I do. So they remain friends until we figure out the rest.

If we don't find someone attractive (or find them attractive until something they say or do disqualifies them as a dating option) but they are still fun to hang out with, they become "just friends".

Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 40
whatchance do youhave after awoman hasput you intothe friends catagory
Posted: 8/5/2007 11:46:50 AM
There is a coded language here that is governed by situation. A woman who responds that she would rather be friends after meeting you has most definately put you in one category.

A woman who is not in a relationship, not looking, and justs wants to be friends might feel otherwise. You can only really discern the difference given body language (and even that could be misleading) and whether she is seeing other men or preoccupied with an ex.

A woman who is looking and wants to be "friends first" would like to take things slowly. I think the best way to handle this situation is always to say "so you want to take things slowly?" A positive response implies motion dictated by her comfort zones. Don't bother pressing for further clarity at that moment.

A woman who looking, dating, and just wants to keep you around as a friend clearly has you at the bottom of her list. Unless you to place her in your "friend" category (un-datable), then just move on.

I think there is a great deal of truth to Whole9yards post as well. In the beginning, it makes sense to maintain a certain distance and perspective.
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