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 jstwannabfrendz
Joined: 8/5/2007
Msg: 49
Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials IncomePage 13 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
In my state child support is based on both the parents incomes and the percentage of the monthly "cost" to raise the child/ children is based on the income as well... for example, if I made $45,000 and my ex made $55,000... I am responsible for 45% of the cost of housing, clothing, food, entertainment monthly for my child and my ex is responsible for 55%. Based on the income tables, the amount per child is calculated. My ex is supposed to pay me monthly child support and in addition half of any medical, dental, vision, or childcare expenses. I have turned over receipts for doctors visits and childcare and he ignores them... so I have been stuck for almost two years paying for everything... granted I get child support for my children, but that does not cover the expenses I incur monthly for them. If I lived alone, I could live in a much smaller house... as he does... so my monthly expenses would be much less. When it comes to things such as braces, eyeglasses, retainers, and monthly child care or summer camp... the cost adds up astronomically... and without his half of those expenses, I am drowning in debt. He refuses to work a second job to make any extra money... I work full time and am also working a second part time job to make ends meet. He does not feel he should have to work more than one job and also feels that he doesn't have to pay any of the additional expenses unless he has agreed to it... I keep having to take him back to court... so court costs and lawyers are adding up as well. Divorce sucks.. but what sucks more is an unwilling co-parent who puts his needs before his childrens.
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 58
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Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 8/10/2007 5:41:57 PM

I would say the system is slanted towards the fathers favor and is failing to do its job in protecting what is in the best interest of the child.


Lets say non custodial parent for the benifit of us custodial dads
The problem is not the system, it is non co-operating parents. We shouldn't NEED a system.We should take care of our children. Our Children should be a priority.
BUT non co-operating parents ruin it for everybody. And there are thousands of spousal senarios so any system is based to be fair to the majority and will always handicap the balance.
As to fathers favor when fathers are the custodial parent there is a much greater chance of non paying NCP, do to the fact that most often if Dad is the CP there is an underlying social issue that kept the mother from being the CP (eg.... substance abuse, mental problems, prison, abuse, or poor social desicions)


If he doesnt pay the support I feel he has no right to see the kids


Where he may have no right to see his kids, the kids have the right to see him!!!!
And you should have the moral obligation to put your feelings aside and give them the opportunity

As to the money being used properly
I always say they should tie child support to ACCESS and the the funds can be used by debit card coded for the the childs needs.
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 60
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Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 8/10/2007 6:45:35 PM
Venting is good sometimes!!!!!!!!

No some mothers do it for the betterment of their children. It just isn't often.

My ex doesn't pay and I won't push it. She would take it out on my son (by verbal means and/or refusing to see him, or moving away. My guess is that she would refuse to pay and then turn herself in when she was far enough in arrears that they would put her in jail so she could say I put her in jail.) Welcome to my World. At first my lawyer got all over me about it, but now she says I was right not to force the issue.(that's scary in it's own right)

My sons happiness is worth so much more than that support money

OH HEY OP
I have an Idea.......you need work and childcare and a good paying job, your area is devatingly underserviced for childcare providers. Talk to someone in city government(Planning Comission maybe) about helping you start a daycare. It provides a service that attacts more workers......in a boom town that is considered a good investment. Also some womens groups have grants and loans for woman owned buisnesses
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 64
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Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 8/10/2007 7:58:26 PM
joniandowen

CHILDREN ALWAYS COME FIRST as they cannot take care of themselves.
Even the lower animals put their offspring first

Any woman that didn't put her children first I would not give a second glance

I can make a woman feel special and loved without changing my sons priority in my life

Ladybug
Why pray tell should he "keep his trap shut" One post simply stated compliance with the legal child support sould ensure visitation
I go further .......visitation should never be refused unless the NCP is abusive or criminal. Even if they don't pay!!!!!!!
The other said Step-parents should not have to pay support .
I AGREE WHOLE HEARTEDLY.........That law is WRONG on sooooo many levels

On top of that he was very supportive of the OP
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 80
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Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 8/11/2007 11:22:25 AM
I would love to provide dayhome care but as I said in a previous post my home is an enviromental nightmare and as of next month I will be sharing a home with another single mum and her son.


If you note I said nothing of you doing it out of your home. Put a plan together (check your chamber of commerce, small buisness association) Go to your city's planner. Find an appropriate place ( look at large homes unoccupied, empty city buildings) Go to the local deeds office, talk with the owners, find out why they are empty. They may be willing to let you "work off" the first couple months rent. Women have a leg up in this repect. There are many programs to promote women ownership in buisness.
You might even take out an add to see how many people can't find daycare and start a daycare co-op, and have them provide some start up money. Or get contracts to provide their daycare contingent on getting a loan to start up. Take the contracts to a lender or Small Buisness Entity to show cause for a loan.
Another Thought: Ask the ex to help you secure a loan and you'll stop asking for more CS andDaycare Money
BTW this would solve the "better place to live" thing

ITS HARD WORK, There are ALWAYS OPTIONS, get a shovel and dig up some answers

When one gets NO CHILD SUPPORT, it is easy to appauld those that pay what is required by law.
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 83
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Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 8/11/2007 3:03:54 PM
I told you 0%.........my ex won't pay

I don't see where this is a "slap single mothers when they are down" thread
Only a couple of posts have been derogatory

Most of these people are being VERY supportive.

Most of us realize this is more (or should be) about "how can I support my child" than is my ex paying enough. That is why a job is coming up so much. I have only tried to give my thinking as a custodial parent trying to get a buisness going so I can be there for my son. And some of the resources I checked out.

Maybe you just aren't getting the answers you want.

It doesn't make them wrong
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 104
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Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 8/12/2007 12:49:43 PM
That is true .....No one said you must make millions.

The feild I was in before my son was very lucrative, but if I returned to it I would be required to work 8-14 hrs a day most Saturdays , and Sunday at the end of the month.

The business I started doesn't provide much "extras" right now but I have that flexibilatiy to go to school functions, the PTA, after school activities, send him off in the morning ect........
As time goes though I should end up in fine shape. It just takes perserverence.

Don't worry about what you don't get.........figure a way to make it work yourself and if your ex decides to step up ......... then you'll be doing even better
 spunky sicilian
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 106
Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 8/12/2007 2:54:38 PM
lets see where do I start, umm ok here we go I have custodial custody of my child, z(never married her father), went to court three times cause he decided he wanted custody and was paying too much child support, he was wrong 3 times. As of this date I have not seen a support check he is almost 14 thousand in the hole and has a baby with his best friends wife.....the courts stated since I was making more money than him I was to pay 75 percent him 25 percent plus back child support. he is suppose to be helping out but isnt. Child enforcement is requesting that I find out where he is working so that they can go after him but my question is why do I have to find out this info when u have a better data base than I do thru his SS# . Oh they will suspend his license but guess what its already suspenced for a habitual traffic offender.
As for moving u need to petition the courts and state your case. Its not only you or woman some men are going through the same thing. Make the best of what you have and things will get better.....
 Littlebug5
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 109
Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 8/12/2007 6:44:29 PM
I think that if the non-custodial parent is being honest about his income then yes the system is fair. However, when they lie about income and work under the table just to get out of child support and the system believe sthey make minimum wage then there is a problem! However, most men feel there other "life" or the children they live with is more important. I have decided that although I know I should get more I am not going to dwell on it. As a mother you can't force the father to want to be involved!!
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 112
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Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 8/12/2007 11:22:21 PM
Sorry everybody .....................but this has to be said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I got $233 in support and put $233 in to support my son

WOW He would be living great!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could even put money in a college acount for him.

I'm loosing my sympathy here, I haven't seen an .....I like that idea, I tried that idea, WOw I have a lot of options to check out thanks, Those options suck......
I haven't heard an I am working here for the moment but it doesn't pay enough, or an I work doing this, or an I checked with 10 places last week for work.
I hear Nothing except .....I want to work, people are telling me to get work, people keep sending me stuff about work........ BUT THAT DOESN"T GET MORE MONEY FROM THE EX.

I came on here and posted because I thought I saw a woman trying to better herself to provide a better life for her child ........I'm into sharing to help a parent accomplish that. I've been there!!!! Hell I am there!!
I would swap places with you in a heartbeat. It insults me ....knowing what I had to do to have the priveledge of raising my son, and what I do now to make it work, to read your posts fixated on a few dollors that someone may or may not ever give you.

FORGET HIS MONEY!!!!! anything you get is gravy. Get a plan together to SUPPORT YOUR CHILD!!!!!!!! Be glad you get something and he wants to see his child sometimes........Some children don't get that!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way ..........YOU get to spend every day with the child, you get to put her to bed, you get to see her do everything first, you get that grubby hug that makes your day a success...............................There isn't a price for that .....The NCP always gets SCREWED, no matter what!!!!!!!!

Yes .....NOW .....I am coming down on you................not single mothers ........you
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 144
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Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 8/16/2007 12:52:39 PM

If you know deep down in your heart, that you can't be a single parent please don't bother having a child.


That is BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND where is our mother (OP).................Didn't get the support she wanted and bailed
 C-U-Underthestars
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 146
Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 8/16/2007 10:12:00 PM
I have been single for 9 years. I have 3 children. My ex and I, have joint custody, but I am the main child care provider, so they live with me. I am in Nova Scotia and I also can move anywhere within the province as long as I let him know where we are, but just as was said, he can move anywhere he wants too with no regard to his children. He lives in BC.
He was an Engineer on a boat and because of that, I told my lawyer I wanted him to be able to see his children when ever he wanted, just had to call me. Well how I wish I had put down that he take them every second weekend and March break and part of the summer. It took him 6 years to even try to take 2 of them every second weekend, and that only lasted a few months. He does pay CP through the Maintenance enforcement program, or I would never get it.
I do work full time to try to make sure the kids have most of the things they need, but it's a struggle, while he lives on the other end of our Country blowing money like it grows on trees. He has the time to find a new person to be in his life, where as,that most likely won't happen for me, until my children are grown. There are some great Fathers out there and I commend them for it. I just wish my children had a great father. Just had to put my 2 cents in here.
 ryan29311
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 150
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Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 8/19/2007 8:17:13 PM
maybe that is the way you feel, and that is one way of retaliation for the non payment, but is definitely not in the best interest of the children. im a product of a broken home, and regardless of whether your recieving child support or not the children need both parents in their life.
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 187
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Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 9/6/2007 11:08:15 PM
Johne .............

I gotta tell you IMO

Your posts (most) are so jaded and acid that many of us are disregarding them in their interity. When you started you had something to say that was valid. But everytime something comes up again you say the same thing(basically) over and over. We read the posts ,we know what you have said.

We want to get the information you have, so please post responsibly
We all go off on rants ...............me too. But after a couple of posts or an evening I'm over it

in the last 75 posts you have 16 .....at that rate you have 50 on THIS THREAD ALONE

4 are for the college childcare (almost cut and paste) excellent point!!........GOT IT

9 are about how women want to rob there ex and make him pay everything she can get
2 are on point the rest are BITTER RETORIC

3 are various comments COOL stay involved

If it was just this ONE THREAD I'd say he just needs to vent........ but there are 4 or 5 threads I'm on that you do this on.

Be Cool and Have a Great Weekend
 chrissyfit
Joined: 4/7/2004
Msg: 201
Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 9/16/2007 2:56:36 PM
in ca, it is done by formula based on custodial parents gross income, ncp's gross income, percentage of time ncp spends with the child, and number of children (including if ncp has other children from another realtionship to support). in state of texas, it is about 20-25% of NCP's annual gross (or net...i can't remember) ours is interstate and interjurisdictional, yet california has primary jurisdiction, so ca guidelines apply.
i have not seen a penny in months...ncp is $18,000+ in arrears and my daughter isn't even 4 years old! good luck with yours!
 chrissyfit
Joined: 4/7/2004
Msg: 202
Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 9/16/2007 3:06:01 PM
If he is a badfather why did you pick him to have a child with? I ask the OP the same question why did you pick that man to have a child with? "


...you know, i ask myself this every day, and come up with the following answer: because I was meant to have THIS child....this challenge...this growth. we've all picked lousy partners. we probably even think that perhaps lousy partners might still make decent parents (as i thought). we may have even gone so far to think that we may be able to actually co-parent on some sort of sane level with said lousy partners.
At the end of the day, I can forgive myself for choosing a lousy partner...everyone makes the ocassional blunder in the romance department... but I have a much harder time forgiving myself for choosing a lousy FATHER!!! It draws my daughter into MY huge error, and aside from getting her as the ultimate prize, the rest of having "picked"her lousy father just plain sucks!
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 205
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Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 12/8/2007 11:30:43 AM
Why do some make their point a thousand times ..............and keep pushing their agenda
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 213
Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 12/11/2007 7:27:30 AM
When they figured out what i get they did it based on what HE said he is capable of making per hour. I got awarded 50 bucks a month, which he doesn't (and hasn't ever paid) you think that money is 1/2 of what it costs to raise him? if I didn't have a child what would i be doing?? hmm..i'd live in a ONE bedroom apartment that costs 3-4 HUNDRED less I'd buy HALF as much food as I do since my son eats more then I do. I would be working MORE so i'd have more money and more savings. My bills would be LESS since i'd only be paying to heat the water for one shower rather then 2 (or a shower and a bath) I also would have a lot less lights on since i'd be home less and I would't have the heat up so high since I woulnd't be home much. I could go on and on..So you tell me..if 50 bucks a week enough?? Hell no!! Especally since I don't get it. Does my son know ANY of this?? Hell NO!! Unles his dad told him the last time they chatted. but I digress..i forget..independant parents shouldn't be trying to get thier fair share and the help they need. They other parent should be able to have thier cake and eat it too. Have kids, spend time with em, not help..yea that is great.. and no..the system does NOT work.. it should be federal.. It would eliminate alot of those loopholes..
 mesidjz
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 222
Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 12/12/2007 12:55:45 PM
Lively conversation. Believe me, I feel lucky my kids receive anything from my kids' father. I've filed so many wage garnishments the local woman's advocacy group asked me to help them. Seriously. Now, I assist other moms who can't afford attorneys.

Why wouldn't you support your child? Yes, the money is for your offspring. Some people are simply ridiculous and obviously do not have a clue how much it costs to raise a child.

Most states have a computation based on income, assets and additional liabilities (like other kids). So, work "under-the-table" and hidden assets aren't counted.

A word of advice, how much would moving better your lives? Maybe it's worth the fight.
 chrissyfit
Joined: 4/7/2004
Msg: 256
Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 12/14/2007 5:29:40 PM
while the formulas per state may be "fair", the ncp may be a slimy eel...and hide his income! it astounds me that the judges don't see right thru it!
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 262
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Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 1/12/2008 9:26:19 AM
Texas doesnt enforce it if they're not working. So if they quit their job, the checks stop coming and the state and the court dont expect them to support their kids through payments if they're not getting a paycheck. Some "wangle" it by working through self employment or pawning so they get money without having one consistent check or source of income. In my case, the other parent thinks his obligation stops when his checks stop (and the state and the court have done nothing about it nor have they penalized him for doing it). The cost for raising kids doesnt stop, so why should their responsibility stop?

I have a job, and still can't afford kids and bills on my income alone. I'd have to earn over $20 an hour just to make ends meet and I dont have the specialized skills or qualifications or work history/experience for that. And that is for basic bills and a very no-frills lifestyle in a cheap 1 bedroom apartment etc.
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 263
Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 1/12/2008 3:05:17 PM
I agree. I have been saying for a long time that the system is slanted towards the non-custodial parents. I mean they don't parent as much and they don't pay anywhere close to 1/3. What I normally see is that non custodial parents having a much better quality of life then the custodial parent. Which is completey backwards, since this whole idea is to provide the child with the life he or she would be leading if both parents stayed together. What I am supposed to get is an insult and I still don't get it. This is not to say that the non custodial parent should be paying so much that they can't afford to live themselves. That isn't fair either. But there has to be a happy medium and when it really comes down to it, the parent who is more ABLE to get another job is the non-custodial one, however the custodial ones are more commonly the one that go out and do this. Why is this? Additional income mean the support can be increased. And that isn't the right motive to decrease the quality of anyones life.

Edit: This post is not all inclusive I am aware that there are some noncustodial parents who pay alot and see thier kids alot.
 spunky sicilian
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 264
Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 1/12/2008 3:05:39 PM
as to date the last hearing i went to which was 4 yrs ago i was making more than my ex boyfriend so the table stood at 70% me and 30% him. but he was to contribute to health care and before and after school care for my child.....but for the last 1 1/2 years i havent seen a support payment, and when he was paying he paid for a couple of months and left his job, got another job and quit that one. ....in the last 7 years i can count on one hand how many times he has called, send a present or even came to see our child. i also went to get finacial help and was told i make to much for one thing and not enough for another im still trying to figure that one out.... please keep your head up stand proud and remember we will do the best we can and we will come out the winner with our child.....keep the faith and be proud of you and give yourself a pat on the back for being the best mom you can be....
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 266
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Child Support Level vs. Non-Custodials Income
Posted: 1/12/2008 4:44:14 PM
"A more practical, fair approach to viewing cs monies might be to figure how much of one's income was spent on the children PRIOR to the splitting of the family unit."

Or you do what my ex did and cut back to nothing before things were final, then get a lavish job afterwards to spend on your girlfriend.
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