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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30      Home login  
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 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 76
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
If you and I are together, then why would you have me actually stop to think about some other guy or guys that are no longer relevant in my life?
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 77
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 9:05:50 AM
^^^ Exactly.

I think this shows far more about the person asking this question than any possible answer that would result. The fact that this question is asked is a huge red flag and shows immaturity, insecurity and maybe even a future issue with control.

I want a man, a real man, not an insecure and immature man.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 78
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 11:16:20 AM
From your list, I can't see logical reason why the question would be asked. The only one that was remotely reasonable was for STD's and I think requesting a medical clearance saying you're free of STD's before you have sex without a condom. That's about it...everything else you listed is still based on insecurity and immaturity. IMO.

Go ahead and ask who ever you date but anyone who I date that asks that question will be promptly told to fvck off, I don't need an insecure or immature man in my life...I raised two boys to manhood, I'm not about to start again.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 79
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 1:18:09 PM
Well, I saw a survey in a magazine where men claimed to have 3 times as many sex partners as women. That can't be true - it takes 2 to tango. Somebody is lying.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 80
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 2:27:11 PM

Go ahead and ask who ever you date .....


Did you miss that part in my post?

And please, name a religious reason why YOU would ask that question? Did you want her virginity verified too??

You can get ANY STD from the 1st person you have sex with or the 5 th or the 50th. How many means nothing. Not much is going to show if someone is infertile nless you specifically check for that so knowing that she had 8 sex partners or 20 means nothing regarding infertility. The numbers mean nothing.

And yea, we know about your multi partners and your gal's multi partners , woohoo. Pat yourselves on the back...but no one on here cares whether you banged 5 or 50. In fact, I think of your talking about numbers just like the Ed guy on here that used to talk about big his d1ck was....idle bragging.

IF you feel a need to ask, ask. IMO, anyone who does ask is an idiot. My opinion.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 81
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 8:28:52 PM
How do you define sex? Monica Lewinsky was back in the news yesterday. She is in her 40's now and accomplished. Bill said he never had sex with her. Is oral sex really sex? You decide. He took advantage of her youth. She said she can never live it down in the press.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 82
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 9:35:57 PM
Some say - eatin ain't cheatin.

If I put a mans penis in my mouth, IMO, we had sex.

As for the lovely Monica - young and stupid, star struck and easy prey.
As for the handsome Bill - older, stupider , did the "do you know who I am.

His like didnt change much, two term president.
He life, never really started and ridicule and shame ....unnecessary shame. To me she is a little hero every time she stands tall, that huge , beautiful smile and I think those people should have bought you sea view home in Malibu and a $ 200,000 a year stipend. They ruined her life
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 83
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 10:30:35 PM
Why debate over semantics? In our language, sex is commonly understood as vaginal intercourse. Everyone knows what happened between Monica and Bill, and what both of them said. Very old news.

It is smart not to ask who your partner slept with. As some threads in this forum show, the information is not easily digested. Matter of fact, if you're not sure if they're sleeping with anyone else right now, it's better not to ask that either, just assume that they are.
 HealthySkeptic
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 84
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If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 11:35:30 PM
Hey, I am just glad someone got my joke...

It's like ancient history for some of the young people on here, wasn't sure anyone would get it. Thanks, NDM.
 HealthySkeptic
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 85
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History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/18/2016 12:15:37 AM

If I put a mans penis in my mouth, IMO, we had sex.



In our language, sex is commonly understood as vaginal intercourse


Is this a generational thing? Cuz I have to go with Cassie on this. I would ask my daughters, but, well, no, I wouldn't.

How old do you have to be to agree with Cassie and me? Just curious, you know, since I wouldn't ask my daughters...
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 86
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/18/2016 5:38:20 AM
Sex only means vaginal intercourse? So gay men, or lesbian women, might never have sex..despite having many "partners"?
Someone who has done only oral and/or anal has not had sex? Ah, well.
Maybe those apply to oneself, but I think most married people would consider that if their partner had oral or anal with someone else, the partner did indeed "have sex"..or is that "not cheating"?
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 87
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/18/2016 7:57:35 AM

It is smart not to ask who your partner slept with. As some threads in this forum show, the information is not easily digested. Matter of fact, if you're not sure if they're sleeping with anyone else right now, it's better not to ask that either, just assume that they are.


I like this statement. The reality is that whatever your partner does, or how good they are in bed, is something they leaned in the past, with someone else. I personally don't want to know. She personally does not want to know. For a guy the quickest way to kill something is to ask a woman to do something, because someone else did it so well. It kills it for her. Same thing with some perfume. To tell her what your favorite perfume is because some ex used to wear it is the kiss of death. Leave the past in the past.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 88
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/18/2016 8:10:31 AM
Some teenagers will have oral sex, anal sex and pretty much everything in between...except vaginal sex so they can proudly walk down the aisle in the $8,000.00 white dress and tell everyone they are a virgin. Especially the good catholic girls and the good little born agains and Mormons. What ever works.

I happen to think differently. You can have a hooker working the streets for 40 years giving out blowjobs only, is she a virgin??? And what would her answer be if you asked "how many men have you had sex with?", she could say "well, I haven't had sex with anyone but I've sold 15,000 blowjobs", or, she could just leave out the part about the blowjobs and say "none".

And IG is right too. I don't want to know how Susie, Sally and Sandy were in bed. We all had a life and I'm pretty sure none of us posting on here are virgins. So yup, you had a life, I just don't need to hear all the details of what went on in the bedroom.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 89
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/18/2016 9:44:41 AM
Caballero: don't know much about alternative lifestyles, but the reason I believe only intercourse is considered sex is because after my sexual assault, the offender was convicted of child molestation, not child rape. He forced me to perform oral sex but did not have a chance to perform intercourse, as he was caught in the middle of trying.
 HealthySkeptic
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 90
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If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/18/2016 10:34:35 AM
^^^Geez, NJGirl, that's horrible. I am really sorry that happened. What a god-awful way to have to formulate a definition. I hope I didn't offend you.

I don't want to sound condescending or patronizing, but are you sure participating in this thread is healthy?

In any event, you have my best wishes...
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 91
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 12:12:43 AM
My best wishes to NJGirl also.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 92
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 6:46:17 AM
Sorry NJ girl . Horrible. Legal definitions sometimes do not match other uses.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 93
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 7:37:12 AM

don't know much about alternative lifestyles, but the reason I believe only intercourse is considered sex is because after my sexual assault, the offender was convicted of child molestation, not child rape. He forced me to perform oral sex but did not have a chance to perform intercourse, as he was caught in the middle of trying.


First of all NJ, I am sorry that you had to go through that.

I know of a woman that had a situation where the perpetrator told her to perform oral sex on him or he would hurt her. It completely screwed up her life because even though she reported it, the guy never hurt her, just threatened her. He didn't get caught. She felt that if he had hurt her, she would not feel dirty. The interesting thing is that many years later, the same guy was in the news as he got caught as a serial rapist. In a way she was lucky because the things that the guy did to other girls were quite bad. But it did not alleviate her own sense of guilt.

So I can see how traumatic this can be for you NJ. Hope you've been able to heal.
 HealthySkeptic
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 94
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If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 9:24:36 AM
Me:

I don't want to sound condescending or patronizing, but are you sure participating in this thread is healthy?


I was patronizing and insensitive. I was kinda in shock. Of course you a welcome to contribute to this thread and any other thread that you wish too...

Hoping for the best for you...
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 95
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 9:35:52 AM

I know of a woman that had a situation where the perpetrator told her to perform oral sex on him or he would hurt her. It completely screwed up her life because even though she reported it, the guy never hurt her, just threatened her. He didn't get caught. She felt that if he had hurt her, she would not feel dirty. The interesting thing is that many years later, the same guy was in the news as he got caught as a serial rapist. In a way she was lucky because the things that the guy did to other girls were quite bad. But it did not alleviate her own sense of guilt.


I know a woman whose first boyfriend in college forced her to perform oral, and had his first over her head. It was her first experience performing.....and her last. She isn't even able to wrap her head around the idea of performing oral sex. She can't even get her mouth near it. She is over 50 now, and every relationship she has been in, she has to explain that as the reason why she simply can't do it. There are just certain things in a woman's life and never leave her.

NJ, the law isn't always fair nor encompassing, but I'm glad that at the very least, he was charged and convicted for something and not left off the hook.
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 96
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 10:40:29 AM

Matter of fact, if you're not sure if they're sleeping with anyone else right now, it's better not to ask that either, just assume that they are.


My guess most of us assume our partner is NOT having sex with others.

I abruptly ended one relationship after a much younger guy showed up at her apartment an hour after I usually depart for home.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 97
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 8:45:56 PM

Of course you a welcome to contribute to this thread and any other thread that you wish too...

Thank you for your kind permission.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 98
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 9:31:03 PM

She isn't even able to wrap her head around the idea of performing oral sex. She can't even get her mouth near it. She is over 50 now, and every relationship she has been in, she has to explain that as the reason why she simply can't do it.

Nah, I suffer through it. Hate it with a passion though.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 99
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/20/2016 8:41:12 AM
I agree with the opinion, "Ain't nunnya". I have never asked, nor has anyone asked me. Never. Ever.
I have been asked, "How old were you when you lost your virginity?" Answer, "Willingly or otherwise?"

To respond to the idea, perhaps NJgirl, should not be posting on this subject due to her history?
IMHO, Those, male or female, who have lived thru an undesirable -unhealthy experience/suffered from a tragedy/lost a spouse from disease or by tragic accident/became a victim of physical-sexual-verbal abuse,............. ARE those who speak from experience. They have "earned" the right to speak up. They deserve the space to contribute.

The healing process for some may take a lifetime. To be told, not to, talk of the experience, is in of itself unhealthy.

IMO, NJgirl deserves a high five (big hug from me) for becoming strong enough/healed enough to speak of her experience here in the Forums.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 100
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If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/24/2016 4:18:06 PM

In our language, sex is commonly understood as vaginal intercourse.

Yes, when left alone with no other specific descriptors, that is what it Clearly means. People try to play games with it (schools, too) -- to avoid you walking into 'dangerous' territory.

Sex only means vaginal intercourse? So gay men, or lesbian women, might never have sex..despite having many "partners"?

Gay men have (gay) sex. The word 'gay' is the descriptor to it. Like oral sex isn't the same as 'sex' alone. "I had sex with Sally last night" = I had vaginal intercourse with her. It does not mean she gave me a handjob or more, even though that's sexual (as kissing is, too, to a lesser degree).

Someone who has done only oral and/or anal has not had sex? Ah, well.

Oral is not sex. "I had sex with 30 men! ..... Oh no, wait, don't put your penis in my vagina. I've never done that before!" doesn't add up. :) Oral sex is a TYPE of sexual experience. It's not a Version of sex, like some descriptors can be. The word sex, when talking about an act, with no other descriptors, means vaginal intercourse. Plain and simple. Descriptors to the word sex mean it's not a version of it, but a completely different, but sexual situation.

When a guy says "I never had sex with him," he's referring to anal sex (since there's no vagina; descriptor is implied). Depending on the context of the situation where he says that, he may be in position to Also have to say he hasn't had oral sex or Anything sexual with him.

When it comes to 'bases' on the sexual baseball diamond, sex = home plate. Getting on base at all Does = sexual situations. Getting past 1st base (kissing) doesn't = sex. Sexual situations with male or female parts to any degree involved doesn't = sex.

I will say though that anal sex is like an "inside the park home run". THAT is where it can get fuzzy and mesh with actual sex (vag intercourse).

I think most married people would consider that if their partner had oral or anal with someone else, the partner did indeed "have sex"..or is that "not cheating"?

You don't have to have sex to clearly cheat. Making out in the parking lot is sexual but not sex itself. Giving a handjob in the parking lot or to yourself with the adorable tube sock isn't having sex itself either. Of course that's cheating when done with someone. Heck, technically, you don't even have to been engaged with Any physical sexual relations to be clearly cheating (but that's a whole other story).

Women can pick and choose average men for sex at any time, but most don't. Where does this multipy by 3 rule come from, anyway?

There are no rules, just believes that shift around. Basically it's due to shame having too-many-partners. YOUNG guys will inflate it on purpose, but if they've had their fair share, once past college age, they'll wise up that it does them BAD to 'brag' about having porked a zillion girls.

The # of sexual partners of men and women is EQUAL. There's an equal # of men and women in the US, thus the average of heterosexual sex must be equal. Most people don't understand this because we've been conditioned otherwise. On an island of 5 girls and 5 guys, and 1 guy has sex with all 5 girls, and the other 4 guys are empty-handed, girls and guys' average # is Still The Same. Unfortunately, with surveys/polls, Every Time, the # of partners for girls is Lower than guys -- most of the time By A Lot. They should average out to be equal, but it's far from that. It's mostly women lying about the # (with some younger guys inflating it or any guys inflating it a bit if way too low).
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