Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 101
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30Page 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
"To be told, not to, talk of the experience, is in of itself unhealthy."

I agree, and I have been told not to talk about it a few times - including instructions from my mother not to tell my grandparents, and when I grew up - on the PTSD forum, section for sex abuse survivors (!), which I thought would the fitting place to share. I think Sceptic is taking a break from the forums, and I couldn't respond before because of the restriction on the number of posts, but in case you read this, Sceptic, I wonder why no one is shocked and appalled by the multitudes of threads in this section that use the filthiest language and talk about filth for pages and pages at a time, then I came and told a short simple story using proper academic terms and my story supported my point, and yet I'm told to stop talking and go away. Why are you not grossed out at all the other threads in this section?
 lilydreams
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 102
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/24/2016 8:25:49 PM
^^^ I don't recall anyone telling you to "stop talking and go away". That wouldn't be right.

IMO, some people (maybe Sceptic) are not used to frank and open discussions or admissions from people that have been sexually abused, sexually assaulted or raped . So when it's thrown right out there it like being hit with a bucket of ice water...shocked or stunned. The topic is not dinner table chat in every household on a regular basis.

And, just so you know , three quarters of what is said on the Sex threads is gross, IMO, and I'm sure half of it is Bullshit.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 103
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/25/2016 2:25:17 AM
Prostitutes are paid good money to perform oral sex with men they don't know or fancy... Why would you do it for free?? Get some self esteem and be honest about your dislike of it. NJgirl116
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 104
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/30/2016 12:37:05 AM

Prostitutes are paid good money to perform oral sex with men they don't know or fancy... Why would you do it for free?? Get some self esteem and be honest about your dislike of it.


Some women will do it to please the man, even if they don't like it. Maybe they see it as worth the sacrifice if it makes him happy. Or in exchange, the man will perform it on them. It's not like being a prostitute. But, I agree that if a woman isn't comfortable doing it, she should say so and not feel obligated. I think, if a man tries to make her do something she is not comfortable with (after she says so), there is something wrong. It shouldn't be required in a relationship. There are other ways to be intimate if someone isn't comfortable with oral. It should be more about the mutual connection than just doing certain "acts."
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 105
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/6/2016 11:22:06 AM

Some women will do it to please the man, even if they don't like it.


For many years I was under the impression that the only reason women went down on guys was to please the guy. So for many years I was really not that into it. Then I discovered that there are women that actually love giving it. It took me a while to understand this, and then consequently not only allowing the woman to enjoy herself, but to stay aroused by the activity.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 106
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/6/2016 11:30:32 AM
Should, should, should. Nobody should anything.

If you don't want to perform a certain act, and the performance of a certain act is something your new sex partner does not want to do without, you're not compatible. How hard is that?

You should not have to do it and he/she should not have to go without.

For some people, other considerations are more important, and for some, they aren't. But there's no SHOULD about what's important to people.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 107
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/6/2016 11:59:39 AM

But, I agree that if a woman isn't comfortable doing it, she should say so and not feel obligated.

She should feel obligated, in terms of having a sexually/intimate compatible relationship with a particular guy.

Some women will do it to please the man, even if they don't like it.

Because they feel obligated to be compatible. As long as they aren't close to hating it, they'll like more that it brings a more satisfying compatible relationship in the end.

It shouldn't be required in a relationship.

Well, it should for some, to be compatible. Just like anything else. I agree that it shouldn't be required in a relationship for some (depending on their tastes/desires/wants/needs/etc) -- and for people in general, Receiving oral sex twice daily shouldn't be a requirement, as the person who would think it does is asking too much beyond a mere common-taste level, so it's not in their best interest. I think you're treating it like it's some weird stunt that Nobody *needs* to do, like making sex-on-video episodes or something. :)

For many years I was under the impression that the only reason women went down on guys was to please the guy. So for many years I was really not that into it.

I think wanting to please the guy is the connection that makes some internally want to do it. If I'd go down on a (clean) girl and it wouldn't please her -- would I want to keep doing it? Not unless I was being stubborn that I could jerry-rig an orgasm out of it come hell or high water! :) The girl liking it a very central part of it, when coupled being immersed in their sexual "womahood". I always assumed it was just the same feeling/POV as a gal going down there on me... and when a gal didn't like to do that so much, I took it the same as some guys saying they didn't like going down on gals (although it tends to be messier and more complicated for guys doing their thing so I could always more understand that).
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 108
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/7/2016 10:11:43 PM

So then the other person should just do without? What if doing without makes that person uncomfortable? At what point do they decide that because of it they aren't compatible and split up?


If getting oral is more important to you than the woman’s comfort level, and the relationship itself (assuming the relationship and sex is otherwise good), then you should split up - she’s better off with someone who respects her boundaries.


She should feel obligated, in terms of having a sexually/intimate compatible relationship with a particular guy.


No one should feel obligated to do a sexual act that males them uncomfortable. If they’re not having sex at all – then yeah, that’s understandably going to be a deal-breaker for most people. But if not getting head is a deal breaker for the guy, even if their sex life is otherwise fine, I’d have to question his integrity and commitment to the relationship.


Because they feel obligated to be compatible. As long as they aren't close to hating it, they'll like more that it brings a more satisfying compatible relationship in the end.


So, they should just do something they don’t like, rather than find sexual acts that are mutually enjoyable?


I think you're treating it like it's some weird stunt that Nobody *needs* to do, like making sex-on-video episodes or something. :)


I’m not treating “it” like anything. I didn’t say anything was wrong with the act itself. What is wrong, IMO, is trying to talk someone into doing something they don’t want to do, and if the person refuses, it’s a dealbreaker. And no, nobody “needs to” or “should” do it just because the guy wants it. This isn’t really about being compatible. It’s about putting a person’s needs and preferences on the same level as your own, and working something out that you can both enjoy. If you can’t enjoy sex without getting head, and they don’t want to give it, then no, you’re not compatible. But if you enjoy this person aside from this one act, and can’t survive the relationship without it, you also have issues IMO.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 109
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/8/2016 7:24:30 AM
^^^^^
Agree 200%.
Sex is supposed to be enjoyable for all parties concerned.
 AlphaCuck
Joined: 5/20/2015
Msg: 110
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/8/2016 9:26:08 AM
I don't care much about receiving oral but love giving it...but only if she's clean and shaved.
 call_me_tater
Joined: 12/30/2014
Msg: 111
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/8/2016 10:10:07 AM
I disagree with all you said, LJane.
For most people, oral sex is a part of sex.
It is not shallow to expect it as a part of a healthy sex life, and has nothing to do with integrity and commitment to a relationship.
Would you say the same thing if a person preferred oral only and was averse to intercourse?
Or how about a man who is unable to "perform" during p-v sex and has other ways to achieve satisfaction?
How about someone who is happy with once a month when their partner needs 3 times a week?

It comes down to compatibility and bonding, not commitment.
A person can deeply love someone, but incompatibility in that area can erode a relationship, just as incompatibility in other areas.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 112
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/8/2016 12:34:03 PM

If getting oral is more important to you than the woman’s comfort level, and the relationship itself (assuming the relationship and sex is otherwise good), then you should split up - she’s better off with someone who respects her boundaries.

Again, you're treating it like someone who wants to have sex-on-video. Oral sex is naturally wanted. It's not a fetish or anything outlandish. A guy isn't disrespecting her boundaries by liking someone sexually as a requirement, among the majority, who enjoy or are at least willing to on occasion have oral sex. How can you say that one who's not compatible with someone who dislikes/refuses oral sex is disrespecting that person's boundaries?? If you're not sexually compatible, you shouldn't start or continue to see each other anymore. If any labels are to be made, it's the person who whole-heartedly Refuses to Ever partake in oral sex that is the outsider -- not the other way around.

No one should feel obligated to do a sexual act that males them uncomfortable.

Read what I said a little more closely, though. He/She should feel obligated *in terms of having sexual compatibility*.

If they’re not having sex at all – then yeah, that’s understandably going to be a deal-breaker for most people.

But oral sex is in the same boat as sex, as far as compatibility is concerned! Refusing to Ever have oral sex is understandably going to be a deal-breaker for many people. I strongly believe you have it backwards. It's not about disrespecting one who refuses to Ever have oral sex if they walk -- it's that you're disrespecting those who need oral sex to be on the menu to some degree for sexual Compatibility. One can respect the oral-sex-refuser's boundaries and not try and force them by any means -- but instead, walk and to respectfully tell them why. That's respecting their boundaries.


Because they feel obligated to be compatible. As long as they aren't close to hating it, they'll like more that it brings a more satisfying compatible relationship in the end.
So, they should just do something they don’t like, rather than find sexual acts that are mutually enjoyable?

They don't Have to do anything they don't want to. But for sexual compatibility, they would. And yes, I'm sure for the vast majority they'll also do sexual acts they both like, but for many folks, taking oral sex off the menu is a Big deal. Again, it's not a fetish. It's not some outlier act. It's basic and natural for us primates. If you Refuse to Ever do it -- that's not a crime or anything -- it just makes you drop in sexual compatibility. ESPECIALLY when one wants to hold off having intercourse (sex) until way down the line. One who refuses to ever have oral sex, they can still find a sexually compatible relationship -- or not ideally sexually compatible for one, but still more than adequate if they're very open-ended in many other ways (which is uncommon, but could be so). But they can't get PO'd at people who have it as a necessary ingredient to some degree, for sexual compatibility. They may be clueless that they're the outsider, not the other person. :)

And no, nobody “needs to” or “should” do it just because the guy wants it.

The same can be said for sex, making out, handjobbing it, some stinky-pinky, etc. One doesn't Need to do it as a person. But to one degree or another -- yeah, for most, it will need to be Wanted to do for Sexual Compatibility. Your mileage varies depending on the person. But that's what sexual compatibility is about. Main thing though, again: One who refuses to Ever partake in oral sex is the outlier -- not the other way around.
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 113
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/8/2016 3:06:44 PM

Again, you're treating it like someone who wants to have sex-on-video. Oral sex is naturally wanted. It's not a fetish or anything outlandish...If any labels are to be made, it's the person who whole-heartedly Refuses to Ever partake in oral sex that is the outsider -- not the other way around.


Again, I didn’t say anything about the act itself. I didn't say it was weird or a fetish. I was referring to oral sex particularly because someone else had posted about it, and I was responding to that. But the same goes for any sexual act one is not comfortable with (within reason, of course – if someone says they’re uncomfortable with intercourse, kissing, touching etc., then there’s likely a deeper rooted problem). I also didn’t say that people who have oral sex are outsiders, nor do I think that. I’m aware that most people do. I just think that if someone doesn’t want to do it, and you are placing your need for oral sex over their comfort level, it’s a problem. By all means, if it is a deal breaker, respect their boundaries and walk away. But I think it’s kind of sad, if everything else was going well in the relationship, and the sex was otherwise good, to have that be the reason for breaking up with someone. Even if most people want oral sex, there are other ways to be sexually satisfied. I think the person you are with should enjoy the sex as much as you do. And if you really want to be with that person, I don’t see why you couldn’t work something else out.


For most people, oral sex is a part of sex.
It is not shallow to expect it as a part of a healthy sex life, and has nothing to do with integrity and commitment to a relationship.
Would you say the same thing if a person preferred oral only and was averse to intercourse?
Or how about a man who is unable to "perform" during p-v sex and has other ways to achieve satisfaction?
How about someone who is happy with once a month when their partner needs 3 times a week?


It’s not shallow to prefer it or request it. I just think if one person really doesn’t like it or is uncomfortable with it, that should be respected. And if respecting that means walking away, so be it, but I think that alone is a sad reason to give up on an otherwise good relationship. All those other things you mentioned, similarly, would be things that have to be worked out between the couple. I get where you’re coming from with the sexual compatibility aspect and providing different scenarios, but I kind of think you’re comparing apples to oranges. I was talking about a couple who has an otherwise good relationship and enjoyable sex aside from performing oral. That’s not quite the same as a situation in which the man can’t perform or one partner wants sex infrequently. In situations such as the man not being able to perform, clearly the woman would know that other acts would be involved in order to have sex. I do think some things would understandably be deal-breakers, like a person who never or rarely wants sex. But then, there may be underlying issues that need to be worked out. I think a person who, say, is averse to intercourse likely has some underlying issues, more so than a person who has intercourse and enjoys sex otherwise but just doesn’t like oral.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 114
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/9/2016 11:46:23 AM

Should, should, should. Nobody should anything.

LOL The only "should" I adhere to is, ............is for me to decide, what I should do or should not do.
I hear off in the distance,"You shouldn't feel that way"/"You shouldn't think like that", /"You shouldn't say things like that"
"You should go to bed", /You should get up",/ "You should act your age", /"You should like this," ...................
"You should.................because whomever decided you should. Society demands it. The rules require it."

Funny thing is, the only thing required of me now, is at some point or another, I will die.
In the mean time, I should change my clothes for work. I should, because I CHOOSE.
Jeeeez ,that was simple!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 115
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/9/2016 12:33:00 PM

But the same goes for any sexual act one is not comfortable with (within reason, of course – if someone says they’re uncomfortable with intercourse, kissing, touching etc., then there’s likely a deeper rooted problem)

This is the heart of our disagreement. I'm saying it IS within reason on that level to at least sometimes engage in oral sex. You're putting it in the boat of something *unnecessary*. It is Understandably, within reason necessary for a fruitful full-circle sex life for many, and Naturally so. It's not some "cherry topping" like "road head" or something.

Refusing to Ever do it is equivalent to the classic scenario of a GF understandably complaining about her BF who's not physically affectionate enough when they get into bed. And not just by her own personal tastes, but clearly so. When they talk about it, he says he's not into all that anyway, and his kissing and touching is minimal inside the bedroom and he stands by that -- take it or leave it, babe. It's not sad that she is unsatisified. It's sad that he won't provide at least a Sufficient amount of that.

Some girls won't be all into "lovey dovey" stuff that much anyway and won't mind it at all... or won't mind it enough and get used to it, and things are OK. But obviously many will be unsatisified to break up or for it to be a constant underlying issue to some degree.

Same with someone who Refuses to Ever have oral sex. Sure, they can find someone who doesn't mind it, won't mind it too much, or won't mind it enough to cause a breaking point... but it's sad that they have that POV -- much like the lesser affectionate BF.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 116
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/9/2016 1:19:55 PM
Oral sex is great and fun and wonderful - both giving and receiving.
That's my personal opinion but I'm not going to assume that it is necessary in every relationship.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 117
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/9/2016 2:55:11 PM

But the same goes for any sexual act one is not comfortable with (within reason, of course – if someone says they’re uncomfortable with intercourse, kissing, touching etc., then there’s likely a deeper rooted problem).


This just goes to show that you're the great self-appointed arbiter of what's within reason. Intercourse, kissing and touching - those are universally necessary for a healthy sex-life, according to you, and everything else is an option that should be subordinate to any emotional or whatever connection.

Once again: You only get to decide what's reasonable and necessary for you. Nobody is a bad person because they have different preferences.

Personally, at this point in my life I have NO preconceived notion of any particular act being necessary and I am much more interested in the overall connection than any specific form that might take. But there were times in my life when I had different priorities, and everybody else is allowed to have theirs.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 118
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/9/2016 3:34:13 PM
I love giving oral. Could care less if I ever receive it again, my mind wanders. But as far as the "Shoulds" and sex are concerned, I compare it to speeding in a car--I like to break the speed limit. so do many other people. if I meet someone who doesn't like to speed, are they weird? is something wrong with them? so long as they aren't doing it in the passing lane, i'm glad they're moving at a speed they can handle.
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 119
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/9/2016 3:51:06 PM

Once again: You only get to decide what's reasonable and necessary for you. Nobody is a bad person because they have different preferences.


I agree. My point was that people do need to decide what's reasonable for them, and shouldn't be expected to do things they are not comfortable with.


Intercourse, kissing and touching - those are universally necessary for a healthy sex-life, according to you, and everything else is an option that should be subordinate to any emotional or whatever connection.


But yeah, I do think that the above things are necessary for a healthy sex life (unless of course people have physical limitations preventing them). And if someone is in a good relationship, and is struggling with doing those things, it might be cause for concern or at least looking into what the issues may be. Oral sex, while I don't see it as "wrong," I wouldn't put it on the same level as those other things. Yes, people can do what they want and are entitled to have their preferences. But you guys can't tell me that not wanting to kiss/touch your partner is on the same level as not wanting to do oral. To me, the former suggests intimacy issues, while the latter is more a matter of preference.


Personally, at this point in my life I have NO preconceived notion of any particular act being necessary and I am much more interested in the overall connection than any specific form that might take.


I agree completely.


But there were times in my life when I had different priorities, and everybody else is allowed to have theirs.


I also agree with this. People are allowed to have different priorities and dealbreakers. But I still do think it's kind of sad, in an otherwise good relationship, for someone to end things because their partner wouldn't perform oral. I didn't say they are a "bad person" for wanting it. It has nothing to do with being a good or bad person. But yeah, I wouldn't like if someone insisted on it as a requirement for a relationship. NG, on the other hand, thinks it's sad when a woman won't do oral, and it's on the same level as a guy not wanting to be affectionate with his girlfriend. I just can't make that leap, guys. We'll have to agree to disagree because I can't even.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 120
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/9/2016 4:23:21 PM

Oral sex, while I don't see it as "wrong,"

Freeze-frame. You putting it this way reveals your POV about it, and how you seem to classify it as a naturally unnecessary thing that people have the right to do. It's not on the outside. It's not some people will, some people will never-ever. It's not random like that. Those who Refuse to Ever do it are the outsiders, is my point. It's not not "wrong" -- it's good & fruitful to do. You don't have to -- and your tastes won't like some things that are good & fruitful (like certain foods). But I just wanted to make it clear that it's not some outsider thing -- but that it is a good thang, generally speaking.

But you guys can't tell me that not wanting to kiss/touch your partner is on the same level as not wanting to do oral.

IMO, to a majority of the people, Refusing to Ever have oral sex Is on the same level as an "unhealthy" level of insufficient kissing/touching. Hey, everyone's going to have a truck-stop quickie with their partner where there's no romance/kissing/cuddling. And no oral had either. And pound for pound, the mere Concept of kissing/touching on Any level in and of itself you can say is more basic and important, yes. But point is, doing an Insufficient amount is going to have the same level of Negative impact in it's own way on average, as Refusing to Ever have oral sex.

Said types are limiting themselves, not the other way around compared to the common person who is only going to be compatible with someone who is willing/open to engage in that at least once in a while.
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 121
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/9/2016 7:20:33 PM

Those who Refuse to Ever do it are the outsiders, is my point. It's not not "wrong" -- it's good & fruitful to do.


This sounds kind of like peer pressure to me. Lol. "Everyone is doing it, It's not bad, it's good. Try it, you'll like it." I can almost hear other guys hi-fiving you at this point. I can see people not wanting me to judge it as wrong or weird (which I didn't) - but to insist that it is good and necessary to do is the other extreme. To each their own.


IMO, to a majority of the people, Refusing to Ever have oral sex Is on the same level as an "unhealthy" level of insufficient kissing/touching.


I completely disagree with this, but you are clearly trying to justify your position (by saying "a majority of people" think the same way), and I'm not going to fight it anymore.
 quinneskimo
Joined: 2/12/2016
Msg: 122
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/9/2016 7:37:29 PM
NG just likes to see words on a page and argue. Maybe if you replaced anal sex with oral sex NG might change his mind on what some see as "a given" and what others see as "if I don't like it I won't do it". I agree with LJane on this. A certain amount of intimacy and sexual play is expected in a relationship. We all know we can live without oral see. In some relationships, because of mobility or physical issues, a couple can only have oral sex and if this is so, I doubt they would divorce because he or she can't do the conventional sex act, like missionary, for example.

NG wants to add that oral sex is right up there with holding hands, kissing, touching each other, penis in vagina sex. Well, it's not to some people. And no one should be pressured to do that. So NG, in your argument, replace anal sex with oral sex or replace her wanting to put carrots up your butt...if it makes her happy you should do this even though you don't like it??

Do want pleases each without either partner feeling pressured or forced - that is what the majority do.

And I still think asking someone how many partners they have had is just wrong. Inwould would never ask nor would I tell nor would I be with someone who thought he needed had a right to know.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 123
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/9/2016 10:34:26 PM
Oral sex is like yoga pants - some people are shocked that there are others who do not do it. Why would you not want to wear them? You have a nice ass, show it! What do you mean you don't want to show your ass? LIKE WHY?
I wear an athletic skirt or shorts over yoga pants; there are other girls at the gym who wear those cute loose shorts with a tight pair underneath - no yoga pants.
Oral is not part of everyone's repertoire... but I'm guessing as a couple is more comfortable with each other, they may explore even if they did not initially. But lots of people don't do it, depending on the culture of origin, etc.
Oral sex is a very intimate and loving thing to do, actually. But, I've heard a woman claim a man loses respect for you immediately if you perform it, and I've heard a man say that when a girl performs it, it makes him feel that she is cheapening herself...
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 124
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/9/2016 11:33:15 PM

This sounds kind of like peer pressure to me. Lol. "Everyone is doing it, It's not bad, it's good. Try it, you'll like it."

No, I'm not trying to convince you to revel in it. I'm pointing out what it is and where it stands, is all. It is good & fruitful & natural, and that most people ideally desire it... and it's not just some optional side dish that some people might like.

completely disagree with this, but you are clearly trying to justify your position

One can say a vast majority of people don't see it quite that much but Many do is my point. I'm just trying to shed light on things, is all. When ya talk to someone who's been in an LTR for a while, and they say the other Refuses to go down on them ever -- it's a big deal to Many. Just saying. And to clarify, I'm not equating Refusing to Ever do that = Refusing to Ever touch or kiss. No, not saying that extreme. I'm saying that it'll have a negative effect about as often as folks having a Lack of it (not empty or refused -- that'd be worse).

NG just likes to see words on a page and argue.

I'm honestly not. Lady Jane's first expression was that it's disrespectful to the person who refuses to ever have oral sex, for it to be a big issue. LJ, to be fair, I think may come from a more wholesome environment, combined with lack of physical sexual experiences, can be assumed to be something not so natural/common/wanted to people in general as the norm.

Maybe if you replaced anal sex with oral sex NG might change his mind on what some see as "a given" and what others see as "if I don't like it I won't do it".

I actually was about to make that analogy before. :) That her POV seems to be putting oral sex on the level of anal sex or something, to the masses. Which it's not.

NG wants to add that oral sex is right up there with holding hands, kissing, touching each other, penis in vagina sex.

Not quite. Sounds like you are just wanting to argue for the sake of arguing. Easy. :) Read above, it may clarify it some if you actually do wish to know my POV and the subject doesn't drum up emotion and angst, etc. I'm certainly not trying to do that.

Do want pleases each without either partner feeling pressured or forced - that is what the majority do.

Nobody at all has even remotely implied pressure or force. At all. That'd be bad.
 LJane_6
Joined: 6/10/2015
Msg: 125
view profile
History
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 5/10/2016 2:25:44 AM

Oral is not part of everyone's repertoire... but I'm guessing as a couple is more comfortable with each other, they may explore even if they did not initially. But lots of people don't do it, depending on the culture of origin, etc.


Agree.


Oral sex is a very intimate and loving thing to do, actually.


In the right context, and with the right motives (giving rather than taking or demanding), I could see that.


But, I've heard a woman claim a man loses respect for you immediately if you perform it, and I've heard a man say that when a girl performs it, it makes him feel that she is cheapening herself...


Interesting to hear. I have wondered if performing it too early (say, before having "regular" intercourse, or at/near the beginning of a relationship) could cause a man to lose respect. Or, if the woman is doing it just to get a man's attention or appease him, that could be likened to cheapening or disrespecting herself. So could any sex act I suppose, or doing any kind of favor to gain someone's attention/affection. But, I'd be curious to know how many guys would agree with the above statements, even if they wouldn't admit it. Kind of like how guys say they wouldn't lose respect for a woman who has sex on the first date, yet you see it happen all the time.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30