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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30      Home login  
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 HealthySkeptic
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 127
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If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30Page 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Chromis:
It wasn't until my current girlfriend that I needed a second hand to keep count.


Haha, Chromis. If I count back 30 some years, and do manage to find a new girlfriend someday, I will finally need my thumb on my first hand!

Prior to that 30 some years, I wasn't counting, and can't remember. Besides, I would first have to define what "sex" is. And maybe even have to define what "is" is.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 128
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/16/2016 6:05:41 PM
If you and I are together, then why would you have me actually stop to think about some other guy or guys that are no longer relevant in my life?
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 129
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 9:05:50 AM
^^^ Exactly.

I think this shows far more about the person asking this question than any possible answer that would result. The fact that this question is asked is a huge red flag and shows immaturity, insecurity and maybe even a future issue with control.

I want a man, a real man, not an insecure and immature man.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 130
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If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 11:04:34 AM
Women ask this question too....


The fact that this question is asked is a huge red flag and shows immaturity, insecurity and maybe even a future issue with control.

And considering that many of them have asked, I can't imagine all of them having those kinds of issues...

I think some will ask because they simply want to know...
Some will ask to see if they're basically on the same page...
Some will ask for religious reasons...
Some will ask because they are afraid of STI's...
Some might ask because past relationships have taught them to be wary of certain situations...

Some won't ask because they don't care...
Some won't ask because they don't want to know or are afraid of the answer...
Some won't ask because they have no plan to stay with that person so why worry...
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 131
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If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 11:08:11 AM

I want a man, a real man, not an insecure and immature man

Seems to me a real man can deal with truth, an insecure man might be afraid of the truth....

Not all people ask for the same reasons...

And if a women found my numbers too high (Which has happened) I'd never think of her as insecure or immature... I'd just assume she had her reasons for not being ok with it and that's perfectly fine in my book...
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 132
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 11:16:20 AM
From your list, I can't see logical reason why the question would be asked. The only one that was remotely reasonable was for STD's and I think requesting a medical clearance saying you're free of STD's before you have sex without a condom. That's about it...everything else you listed is still based on insecurity and immaturity. IMO.

Go ahead and ask who ever you date but anyone who I date that asks that question will be promptly told to fvck off, I don't need an insecure or immature man in my life...I raised two boys to manhood, I'm not about to start again.
 m_church
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 133
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If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 1:10:04 PM

From your list, I can't see logical reason why the question would be asked.

So just because YOU don't see a reason so everyone who does ask is automatically wrong... That means YOUR opinion is more important than someone else's?

I didn't know religious reasons are based on immaturity and insecurity...
As for being on the same page, some guys might ask because they don't want a girl who has only a limited sexual past... Or maybe they don't want a woman who is so jaded by her past that she's not much fun in bed...

Getting a medical clearance is one thing.. But it doesn't catch all STI's... for example HPV
It's not going to tell if a woman or man is infertile due to a past STI that may have been long gone or cured...
Condoms don't protect against everything... some STD's can still be transmitted by skin contact in the "boxer short zone"

The funny thing is you basically don't see the reason to ask, and apparently therefore no one should ask...
As for me, I think I'm a lot more open minded... I've been asked by various women and I've told them. I have nothing to hide, and really I don't see it as an issue to answer honestly... Sure some women didn't want to date me anymore, and that's fine. It's better to have someone make an informed decision rather than maybe find out later and get upset...
That being said, my current G/F was a swinger... She isn't entirely sure how many she's had sex with... both men and women... her ballpark figure is a lot more than mine... and she told me that very early on. Especially as we knew the same people it would probably have come out pretty soon anyway...

But hey at least we know what you define as insecure and immature.... LOL
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 134
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 1:18:09 PM
Well, I saw a survey in a magazine where men claimed to have 3 times as many sex partners as women. That can't be true - it takes 2 to tango. Somebody is lying.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 135
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 2:27:11 PM

Go ahead and ask who ever you date .....


Did you miss that part in my post?

And please, name a religious reason why YOU would ask that question? Did you want her virginity verified too??

You can get ANY STD from the 1st person you have sex with or the 5 th or the 50th. How many means nothing. Not much is going to show if someone is infertile nless you specifically check for that so knowing that she had 8 sex partners or 20 means nothing regarding infertility. The numbers mean nothing.

And yea, we know about your multi partners and your gal's multi partners , woohoo. Pat yourselves on the back...but no one on here cares whether you banged 5 or 50. In fact, I think of your talking about numbers just like the Ed guy on here that used to talk about big his d1ck was....idle bragging.

IF you feel a need to ask, ask. IMO, anyone who does ask is an idiot. My opinion.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 136
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 8:28:52 PM
How do you define sex? Monica Lewinsky was back in the news yesterday. She is in her 40's now and accomplished. Bill said he never had sex with her. Is oral sex really sex? You decide. He took advantage of her youth. She said she can never live it down in the press.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 137
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 9:35:57 PM
Some say - eatin ain't cheatin.

If I put a mans penis in my mouth, IMO, we had sex.

As for the lovely Monica - young and stupid, star struck and easy prey.
As for the handsome Bill - older, stupider , did the "do you know who I am.

His like didnt change much, two term president.
He life, never really started and ridicule and shame ....unnecessary shame. To me she is a little hero every time she stands tall, that huge , beautiful smile and I think those people should have bought you sea view home in Malibu and a $ 200,000 a year stipend. They ruined her life
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 138
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 10:30:35 PM
Why debate over semantics? In our language, sex is commonly understood as vaginal intercourse. Everyone knows what happened between Monica and Bill, and what both of them said. Very old news.

It is smart not to ask who your partner slept with. As some threads in this forum show, the information is not easily digested. Matter of fact, if you're not sure if they're sleeping with anyone else right now, it's better not to ask that either, just assume that they are.
 HealthySkeptic
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 139
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If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/17/2016 11:35:30 PM
Hey, I am just glad someone got my joke...

It's like ancient history for some of the young people on here, wasn't sure anyone would get it. Thanks, NDM.
 HealthySkeptic
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 140
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If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/18/2016 12:15:37 AM

If I put a mans penis in my mouth, IMO, we had sex.



In our language, sex is commonly understood as vaginal intercourse


Is this a generational thing? Cuz I have to go with Cassie on this. I would ask my daughters, but, well, no, I wouldn't.

How old do you have to be to agree with Cassie and me? Just curious, you know, since I wouldn't ask my daughters...
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 141
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/18/2016 5:38:20 AM
Sex only means vaginal intercourse? So gay men, or lesbian women, might never have sex..despite having many "partners"?
Someone who has done only oral and/or anal has not had sex? Ah, well.
Maybe those apply to oneself, but I think most married people would consider that if their partner had oral or anal with someone else, the partner did indeed "have sex"..or is that "not cheating"?
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 142
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/18/2016 7:57:35 AM

It is smart not to ask who your partner slept with. As some threads in this forum show, the information is not easily digested. Matter of fact, if you're not sure if they're sleeping with anyone else right now, it's better not to ask that either, just assume that they are.


I like this statement. The reality is that whatever your partner does, or how good they are in bed, is something they leaned in the past, with someone else. I personally don't want to know. She personally does not want to know. For a guy the quickest way to kill something is to ask a woman to do something, because someone else did it so well. It kills it for her. Same thing with some perfume. To tell her what your favorite perfume is because some ex used to wear it is the kiss of death. Leave the past in the past.
 cassie2425
Joined: 3/4/2016
Msg: 143
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/18/2016 8:10:31 AM
Some teenagers will have oral sex, anal sex and pretty much everything in between...except vaginal sex so they can proudly walk down the aisle in the $8,000.00 white dress and tell everyone they are a virgin. Especially the good catholic girls and the good little born agains and Mormons. What ever works.

I happen to think differently. You can have a hooker working the streets for 40 years giving out blowjobs only, is she a virgin??? And what would her answer be if you asked "how many men have you had sex with?", she could say "well, I haven't had sex with anyone but I've sold 15,000 blowjobs", or, she could just leave out the part about the blowjobs and say "none".

And IG is right too. I don't want to know how Susie, Sally and Sandy were in bed. We all had a life and I'm pretty sure none of us posting on here are virgins. So yup, you had a life, I just don't need to hear all the details of what went on in the bedroom.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 144
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/18/2016 9:44:41 AM
Caballero: don't know much about alternative lifestyles, but the reason I believe only intercourse is considered sex is because after my sexual assault, the offender was convicted of child molestation, not child rape. He forced me to perform oral sex but did not have a chance to perform intercourse, as he was caught in the middle of trying.
 HealthySkeptic
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 145
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If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/18/2016 10:34:35 AM
^^^Geez, NJGirl, that's horrible. I am really sorry that happened. What a god-awful way to have to formulate a definition. I hope I didn't offend you.

I don't want to sound condescending or patronizing, but are you sure participating in this thread is healthy?

In any event, you have my best wishes...
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 146
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 12:12:43 AM
My best wishes to NJGirl also.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 147
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 6:46:17 AM
Sorry NJ girl . Horrible. Legal definitions sometimes do not match other uses.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 148
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 7:37:12 AM

don't know much about alternative lifestyles, but the reason I believe only intercourse is considered sex is because after my sexual assault, the offender was convicted of child molestation, not child rape. He forced me to perform oral sex but did not have a chance to perform intercourse, as he was caught in the middle of trying.


First of all NJ, I am sorry that you had to go through that.

I know of a woman that had a situation where the perpetrator told her to perform oral sex on him or he would hurt her. It completely screwed up her life because even though she reported it, the guy never hurt her, just threatened her. He didn't get caught. She felt that if he had hurt her, she would not feel dirty. The interesting thing is that many years later, the same guy was in the news as he got caught as a serial rapist. In a way she was lucky because the things that the guy did to other girls were quite bad. But it did not alleviate her own sense of guilt.

So I can see how traumatic this can be for you NJ. Hope you've been able to heal.
 HealthySkeptic
Joined: 8/3/2010
Msg: 149
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If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 9:24:36 AM
Me:

I don't want to sound condescending or patronizing, but are you sure participating in this thread is healthy?


I was patronizing and insensitive. I was kinda in shock. Of course you a welcome to contribute to this thread and any other thread that you wish too...

Hoping for the best for you...
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 150
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 9:35:52 AM

I know of a woman that had a situation where the perpetrator told her to perform oral sex on him or he would hurt her. It completely screwed up her life because even though she reported it, the guy never hurt her, just threatened her. He didn't get caught. She felt that if he had hurt her, she would not feel dirty. The interesting thing is that many years later, the same guy was in the news as he got caught as a serial rapist. In a way she was lucky because the things that the guy did to other girls were quite bad. But it did not alleviate her own sense of guilt.


I know a woman whose first boyfriend in college forced her to perform oral, and had his first over her head. It was her first experience performing.....and her last. She isn't even able to wrap her head around the idea of performing oral sex. She can't even get her mouth near it. She is over 50 now, and every relationship she has been in, she has to explain that as the reason why she simply can't do it. There are just certain things in a woman's life and never leave her.

NJ, the law isn't always fair nor encompassing, but I'm glad that at the very least, he was charged and convicted for something and not left off the hook.
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 151
If a woman admits to 10 lovers, she's probably had 30
Posted: 4/19/2016 10:40:29 AM

Matter of fact, if you're not sure if they're sleeping with anyone else right now, it's better not to ask that either, just assume that they are.


My guess most of us assume our partner is NOT having sex with others.

I abruptly ended one relationship after a much younger guy showed up at her apartment an hour after I usually depart for home.
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