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 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 188
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how do you know if someone is out of your leaguePage 11 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I dont think its as easy as insecurity as some have claimed

These forums themselves

Its pretty self evident that a mans job and income are far more important to women in general irrespective of whether they themselves work or not than a womans income is to most men

So for a many to see a woman as being out of his league because he is unemployed or on a low wage where the woman has a well paid job is although perhaps not without a RARE exception pretty much going to be a realistic assumption rather than an indication of negativity

The same kind of things will also apply to intellect or levels of education where accepting the fact theres a big disparity than that its most probably going to mean compatiblity is pretty much a non starter is again more a case of realism than self esteem issues

Even when looks come into the equaltion, fitness, general body maintenance etc people are far more likely to be with what most onlookers would class as a reasonably equal match than one that makes people turn their heads in disbelief

So although some people are extremely negative much of the league type opinions are more acurately described as a realistic acceptance of the situation rather than a negative low self esteem lacking in confidence type mentality

Yes there are "some" exceptions to all of those examples and the others I could have typed, but theyre far from being the majority by any stretch of the imagination even where income is concerned when the one gender perspective is examined rather than both genders as its far more likely and probably still by far the norm for men to date women with no income or income prospects or a lower income than themselves so once that is removed the income "league" as applied by women is still quite prevalent and commonly seen in play
 DAFT_DOG
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 203
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/7/2012 9:34:00 AM
.." we are all born cute "


if that was true, why did the mid wife punch my mother in the mouth instead of slapping my arse !! :O)
 Loose_end
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 205
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 12/31/2012 10:07:00 AM
If i met a Woman who worked tirelessly with those less fortunate than herself, donating her time to make her little corner of the World a better place for all. Then she would be someone i would consider out of my League.

Lookswise, dont give a stuff. I dont consider anyone outside my League, either above or below. I have dated what could be considered very beautiful Ladies in my time, and I've dated plenty less fortunate physically. Yet i only remember the ones with the personality.

Physically some may be considered a 10, but a sparkling personality can put any Woman on a whole different level
 london150
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 211
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 12/31/2012 2:20:24 PM
I believe they matter to almost everyone. The best example of being out of someones league to me is say you are a little overweight, cute, and have a nice career, you like reading, nature walks, and watching movies but you are attracted to someone who looks like Paul Newman, wealthy, Ivy league education, Phd, he likes activities like mountain climbing, boating, runs marathons, parties all the time etc. Those are two people who are not within the same league. I am not saying those paths cant cross and the two people couldnt be together, but usually someone who has alot of activities and is within a certain income bracket wants someone similar. Not always, but usually.
 Loose_end
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 217
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/1/2013 1:09:43 AM

Angelina Jolie wouldn't date the elephant man would she?


A little bit harsh perhaps. The Elephant Man is after all, dead. So no, i dont suppose she would date a corpse, she may be a necrophiliac though, so maybe she would, I have no idea, i know nothing about her. If the Elephant Man was alive she probably wouldnt date him, but the question wasnt "do you think Angelina Jolie considers herself out of The Elephant Mans League" was it?


You rarely see one ugly and one good looking person in a relationship.


I see it on extremely regular occasions myself. Physical beauty is subjective after all.


If you do, the good looking one normally has the ugly one wrapped round their finger because they can easily find another partner.


Oh come on....


We instinctively look for people who are similar to ourselves. I am just average, so seek the same etc


Is that the Royal we? I instinctively gravitate toward a Woman with a great smile that lights up her whole face myself. That isnt the sole domain of any level of physical attractiveness myself, she (or others) thinks she is.

People have been known to become more physically attractive the more you get to know them, thats their inner beauty effect. The opposite happens also. I know this to be true because its happened to me before, plenty of times

Even those who live their lives in Leagues and swear by them would probably admit that inner beauty does have a significant effect in how much they fancy (or dont fancy) someone.

Maybe not a whole Leagues worth, I dunno how many leagues do people have?
 Loose_end
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 227
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/1/2013 12:55:06 PM

I'd equally fall for someone that cleans streets, waits tables or cleans at the sewage treatment works.


Good point that Man.

When i look back on my dating history, i have the usual gomers of course. But among the most wonderful were a Lawyer for a large American scientific research group, and a Lady who's job could best be described as "someone who cleaned the nightclub bogs the morning after"

Social status is the last thing i would look at
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 234
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/3/2013 5:31:00 PM
Sometimes the fun is in having the bottle to find out :-)

Edit;
^^^ She is American. They believe everyone is out of their league. If that is what they see as correct English then it must be so quite complaining. Is all. ;-)
 Melodical
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 235
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/4/2013 8:50:37 AM
Having a (delusional?) belief that nobody is out of your league in the long run will probably get you some pretty fit girlfriends purely from a statistical standpoint. And as you only live once a good motto should be "He/she who dares wins"
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 238
how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/4/2013 10:53:16 AM
Haha! WB Mac!

I refuse to be in any "league".
I would not want to be a part of any league that would consider me as a member.

"Aim high. For it is better to aim at the moon, and hit an eagle, than to aim at the eagle, and hit the ground."
~ Old Indian Eagle-hunting saying.
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 245
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/7/2013 3:16:18 AM
When I started internet dating on a pay site 6 years ago I got to know someone very wealthy who had all of the advantages money and privilege can bring. It was obvious from the start that she was seeking someone who would fit into her high expectations. That included money,status and the ability to be readily excepted by her family and social life.
I was far removed from her expectations yet over the years we became close friends and eventually met and have had wonderful times together.
We both fully excepted our differences and the fact it would not work and we remain good friends. No way would I ever feel comfortable being paid for,which would be a requirement of having a relationship with her was concerned,and she would not have been happy doing so.
Idealism is one thing,but reality is another.
I do not think she is out of my league or her mine. But our differences are highlighted by the expectations of both of us and the reality of life made it impossible for us to be anything other than friends and we fully excepted that.
 PlymouthOldFart
Joined: 12/1/2012
Msg: 248
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/7/2013 9:26:39 AM
If you believe someone to be out of your league then I suspect you have an issue with your self esteem.

No one's out of anyone's league!
 Nottinghamfellow
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 249
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/8/2013 10:10:12 AM
I think Tray Coli has hit the nail on the head. No individual is out of anothers league as a human but all the trappings around them make that difference. My fair lady is a story. I take a disabled pal to view fine art auctions. Most other viewers are delightful, even asking my opinion on items. I always say I am the Driver, as clearly, apart from saying its nice or i dont like it, I couldn't afford it or give advice on it. That world is a different one to mine. Thus in my humble it is the same with humans. Sadly we do live in the same, but different worlds.
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