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 pantsonfire
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 78
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how do you know if someone is out of your leaguePage 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
It's true that leagues are only there when you put them there. There is a couple who I have been friends with for over 12 years, she is 6 foot tall, a stunning willowy blonde, heads turn wherever she goes. He is a 5' 8" non descript, slightly pudgy guy who blends in ( but boy he's wonderful when you get to know him). They have been together for 15 years now and she is still besotted with him and he with her... They constantly have to deal with the 'what's she doing with him?' comments, but they don't care, they love each other and that in the end is all that matters.. Leagues mean nothing unless you want them to...
 MrRichieb1971
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 79
how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 4:41:11 AM
You can argue all you want. On the basis of getting to know someone from the internet, the leagues exist wether or not you want them to.

Its like shopping in real life or shopping on the internet. In real life you see something you like and you make a instant judgement on the purchase because it might not be there tomorrow. On the internet there is a pricechecker function for alot of goods, so where you might see the product you want, you have 200 other places that do it cheaper and it will be there for an eternity.

I can't believe people on the internet would pick an uglier person on the basis of some quality that is deeper than skin on the basis of one IM or PM.
 MrRichieb1971
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 80
how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 9:17:49 AM
Well I wouldn't go that far. Most of my encounters with women from this site have been home visits and such (bring a bottle of wine etc). Not a full blown date with all the trimmings. Besides all 3 live within 5 miles of me.

Thanks for the kind words though.
 MrRichieb1971
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 90
how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/23/2007 4:42:23 PM
For someone who saw his ex wife go from duck to swan, I can assure anyone who is reading this that if you are neglected by someone in the first instant. Its much better than being taken in, falling helplessly in love only to have someone else snatch them away from you later.

At least if your neglected in the first instant, its not your fault.
 -morticia-
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 94
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/24/2007 2:42:15 AM
Who Dares, Wins

I'm with Bam Bam. I've been told I'm out of people's 'league' - that was their perception of me just from a few PM's or from a phone call, and not my view of the situation at all... but if that was how they felt, then there is very little I can do to change that.

It is how they feel about themselves, and being comfortable with the other person.

But the right one is definitely out there

-M-
 MrRichieb1971
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 95
how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/24/2007 5:18:33 PM
Trimmings = Meeting somewhere neutral, reading a menu, eating nice food brought to you on a platter whilst enjoying pleasant conversation.

My meetings were more like -

"yeah, come over, but bring a bottle of wine".. Then talk, have a laugh together... The first one lasted 3 months on a friendship level. The other 2 were one nighters, but not in the sexual sense. I never go for the kill on the first night because i'd like to know if there is a chance of something more than that, if i've already established the right sort of attraction of course.

I was lucky though with 2 of them. The reason they invited me over is because we knew some of the same people. Just never met each as a result of that. Which is weird really.
 MrRichieb1971
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 101
how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 9/3/2007 10:05:05 PM
I would say 80% of everyone is out of your league. About 5% are in your league and the other 15% are "maybe" in your league.

The top 5% of one sex will desire the top 5% of the other sex, will have many companions in life and probably never settle down. Will more likely settle down with one of the 15% "maybes" than any of the top 5% of the other sex.

If your one of the 80% most ugliest, don't worry because 80% of the opposite sex are around the same ugliness as you! So you have more choice because no matter what the face looks like, you can have a big arse, small arse, athletic, well rounded.. the options are limitless. You'll probably get a few rashes of bacon instead of a stick of celery for breakfast if you spend the night.

More often than not, you'll be treasured by those out of your league and treated like shit by those who are in your league. Leagues become apparent when you ask yourself if you want a movie star, or want to be treated like one! No matter what shape or form you take.

Amen to that.
 electric-gypsy
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 120
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:01:35 AM
The older I get, the more 'out of my league' guys get lol
 bexonlegs
Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 129
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/17/2009 3:38:48 PM
Im oblivious to the whole league thing myself.....if i like the look or profile then ill usually send a welcoming message, its the guys that obviously dont like the look of me as they either read and delete or just delete!
Im a friendly lass so it does grind a little, that men cant just humour me at times
 Loose_end
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 138
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/18/2009 1:35:15 PM
Hmmmmm

First of all, i check the obvious, see if they've got a couple of decent signings up front. A good solid backline would indicate someone who wont be letting many in. Is the goalie any use? Is he known to 'come' for anything in the box, or does he hang back and rely on his reflexes. And lots more things like that, some of which are tantalisingly close to being amusing.

Of course, then you have the other teams to think about, whats the strength of the league they're currently in like, is there a good chance of promotion or maybe even a playoff spot.

Or is she in a higher league but relegation is odds on because the squad is getting on a bit?

I prefer a lower leaguer myself, but a likely top half finish every season, that would be lovely

Its hard to guess really though isnt it? What if they get taken over by a Billionaire and suddenly have tons of cash? Surely a promotion or 2 will come of this?

One Man's fillet steak is another's offal though, so Leagues are something we construct in our own minds. In spite of intense media pressure telling us what we should and shouldn't be fancying, at the end of the day, the choice is ours and ours alone.
 gemini_lady_uk
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 170
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:36:38 PM
My daughters fiancee's parents thought their precious son was 'better than' my daughter ie, given their way he was out of her league. She worked in McD's, he was training to be an accountant, he lived in a better area, she is a few years older than him. Oh and she has ME which at times is very debilitating.

Thank god neither of the youngsters gave a damn about leagues and just got on with liking and loving each other just because they did.

She now runs an office on her own, was 'big' enough to bite her tongue about the 'status' crap - and she also kept me away from them so I couldn't pull them down a peg or two and by god at times I would have been tempted for them putting my daughter down on what they 'perceived' to be the situation .

League tables are for people who 'think' they are better or worse, they only exist in peoples minds and only then if they want them to.
 Loose_end
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 174
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 9/3/2009 8:37:19 AM

But what if you meet someone who thinks they are out of your league?


I'd congratulate them on their personal valuation of their league position, it smacks of enormous inner belief to me, and good luck to them and all their sexiness and brilliance at being a Human being i say....

Then i would throw myself off a cliff because i would be so morose at not being as superlative as her.....




Or maybe i wouldnt....
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 183
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 10/9/2011 4:47:34 AM
This is easy to answer



I'm attracted to them
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 188
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 10/9/2011 7:28:15 AM
I dont think its as easy as insecurity as some have claimed

These forums themselves

Its pretty self evident that a mans job and income are far more important to women in general irrespective of whether they themselves work or not than a womans income is to most men

So for a many to see a woman as being out of his league because he is unemployed or on a low wage where the woman has a well paid job is although perhaps not without a RARE exception pretty much going to be a realistic assumption rather than an indication of negativity

The same kind of things will also apply to intellect or levels of education where accepting the fact theres a big disparity than that its most probably going to mean compatiblity is pretty much a non starter is again more a case of realism than self esteem issues

Even when looks come into the equaltion, fitness, general body maintenance etc people are far more likely to be with what most onlookers would class as a reasonably equal match than one that makes people turn their heads in disbelief

So although some people are extremely negative much of the league type opinions are more acurately described as a realistic acceptance of the situation rather than a negative low self esteem lacking in confidence type mentality

Yes there are "some" exceptions to all of those examples and the others I could have typed, but theyre far from being the majority by any stretch of the imagination even where income is concerned when the one gender perspective is examined rather than both genders as its far more likely and probably still by far the norm for men to date women with no income or income prospects or a lower income than themselves so once that is removed the income "league" as applied by women is still quite prevalent and commonly seen in play
 DAFT_DOG
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 203
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 8/7/2012 9:34:00 AM
.." we are all born cute "


if that was true, why did the mid wife punch my mother in the mouth instead of slapping my arse !! :O)
 Loose_end
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 205
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 12/31/2012 10:07:00 AM
If i met a Woman who worked tirelessly with those less fortunate than herself, donating her time to make her little corner of the World a better place for all. Then she would be someone i would consider out of my League.

Lookswise, dont give a stuff. I dont consider anyone outside my League, either above or below. I have dated what could be considered very beautiful Ladies in my time, and I've dated plenty less fortunate physically. Yet i only remember the ones with the personality.

Physically some may be considered a 10, but a sparkling personality can put any Woman on a whole different level
 london150
Joined: 6/23/2008
Msg: 211
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 12/31/2012 2:20:24 PM
I believe they matter to almost everyone. The best example of being out of someones league to me is say you are a little overweight, cute, and have a nice career, you like reading, nature walks, and watching movies but you are attracted to someone who looks like Paul Newman, wealthy, Ivy league education, Phd, he likes activities like mountain climbing, boating, runs marathons, parties all the time etc. Those are two people who are not within the same league. I am not saying those paths cant cross and the two people couldnt be together, but usually someone who has alot of activities and is within a certain income bracket wants someone similar. Not always, but usually.
 Loose_end
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 217
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/1/2013 1:09:43 AM

Angelina Jolie wouldn't date the elephant man would she?


A little bit harsh perhaps. The Elephant Man is after all, dead. So no, i dont suppose she would date a corpse, she may be a necrophiliac though, so maybe she would, I have no idea, i know nothing about her. If the Elephant Man was alive she probably wouldnt date him, but the question wasnt "do you think Angelina Jolie considers herself out of The Elephant Mans League" was it?


You rarely see one ugly and one good looking person in a relationship.


I see it on extremely regular occasions myself. Physical beauty is subjective after all.


If you do, the good looking one normally has the ugly one wrapped round their finger because they can easily find another partner.


Oh come on....


We instinctively look for people who are similar to ourselves. I am just average, so seek the same etc


Is that the Royal we? I instinctively gravitate toward a Woman with a great smile that lights up her whole face myself. That isnt the sole domain of any level of physical attractiveness myself, she (or others) thinks she is.

People have been known to become more physically attractive the more you get to know them, thats their inner beauty effect. The opposite happens also. I know this to be true because its happened to me before, plenty of times

Even those who live their lives in Leagues and swear by them would probably admit that inner beauty does have a significant effect in how much they fancy (or dont fancy) someone.

Maybe not a whole Leagues worth, I dunno how many leagues do people have?
 Loose_end
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 227
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/1/2013 12:55:06 PM

I'd equally fall for someone that cleans streets, waits tables or cleans at the sewage treatment works.


Good point that Man.

When i look back on my dating history, i have the usual gomers of course. But among the most wonderful were a Lawyer for a large American scientific research group, and a Lady who's job could best be described as "someone who cleaned the nightclub bogs the morning after"

Social status is the last thing i would look at
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 234
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/3/2013 5:31:00 PM
Sometimes the fun is in having the bottle to find out :-)

Edit;
^^^ She is American. They believe everyone is out of their league. If that is what they see as correct English then it must be so quite complaining. Is all. ;-)
 Melodical
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 235
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/4/2013 8:50:37 AM
Having a (delusional?) belief that nobody is out of your league in the long run will probably get you some pretty fit girlfriends purely from a statistical standpoint. And as you only live once a good motto should be "He/she who dares wins"
 Jo van
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 238
how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/4/2013 10:53:16 AM
Haha! WB Mac!

I refuse to be in any "league".
I would not want to be a part of any league that would consider me as a member.

"Aim high. For it is better to aim at the moon, and hit an eagle, than to aim at the eagle, and hit the ground."
~ Old Indian Eagle-hunting saying.
 GeordieColin
Joined: 10/18/2012
Msg: 245
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/7/2013 3:16:18 AM
When I started internet dating on a pay site 6 years ago I got to know someone very wealthy who had all of the advantages money and privilege can bring. It was obvious from the start that she was seeking someone who would fit into her high expectations. That included money,status and the ability to be readily excepted by her family and social life.
I was far removed from her expectations yet over the years we became close friends and eventually met and have had wonderful times together.
We both fully excepted our differences and the fact it would not work and we remain good friends. No way would I ever feel comfortable being paid for,which would be a requirement of having a relationship with her was concerned,and she would not have been happy doing so.
Idealism is one thing,but reality is another.
I do not think she is out of my league or her mine. But our differences are highlighted by the expectations of both of us and the reality of life made it impossible for us to be anything other than friends and we fully excepted that.
 PlymouthOldFart
Joined: 12/1/2012
Msg: 248
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/7/2013 9:26:39 AM
If you believe someone to be out of your league then I suspect you have an issue with your self esteem.

No one's out of anyone's league!
 Nottinghamfellow
Joined: 4/5/2012
Msg: 249
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how do you know if someone is out of your league
Posted: 1/8/2013 10:10:12 AM
I think Tray Coli has hit the nail on the head. No individual is out of anothers league as a human but all the trappings around them make that difference. My fair lady is a story. I take a disabled pal to view fine art auctions. Most other viewers are delightful, even asking my opinion on items. I always say I am the Driver, as clearly, apart from saying its nice or i dont like it, I couldn't afford it or give advice on it. That world is a different one to mine. Thus in my humble it is the same with humans. Sadly we do live in the same, but different worlds.
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