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 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 12
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Single mom of one and pregnant again, what do i do?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Right now you're feeling overwhelmed. Take it day to day, then it's not as bad as you think it's going to be. Your son is independent, you should be happy, because he can do things on your own and you can raise your baby without much of a fuss. I'm sure your son would be a helper if you need him. It's just a matter of balancing things out, giving both kids love and providing for them. having a second child is not as hard as your first, because fact of the matter is you have the experience now on how to take care of a baby. Yes, you may no t be with the father of the baby but it doesn't mean he can't get himself involved. Take him to court and have him finanially and emotionally be involved with your kids.

Find a support group either thru church, thru online. I"m sure they'll be there if you need them. I joined a single moms group in my area, and it was great. I know they are there if I need them.

Yes, you made a mistake and didn't think of precautions or perhaps it wasn't that effective, but you learn from it and move forward and not make the same mistake again. Things happen, life happens. REally the hard part is raising the baby financially but you can do it, you just got to believe in yourself and make things happen. Don't relly on others, yes it would be great if the father of your kids/child be involved both financialy and emotionally, but don't rely on it, just save up and work with what you have. You are capable of doing this alone. How much help did your ex provide with your first? Even if you aren't together, that shouldn't stop him from getting involved. Look on the brightside of things, your son won't be alone but will have a sibling to play with and more family.

If you really really can't handle raising two kids and know you can't [provide for both, please do look into adoption but don't let having two kids be intimidating to you. Do you have family that are supportive?

My advise to you is to stay single thruout pregnancy, that way you have no drama, less stress to worry about. and at that time you know what you want in yourself, as a parent and what you want in a man. Yes it's nice gettin attention from the guy you are seeing, but think about it, the time you are seeing him, that's time giving to him rather than to yourself and to your son who needs you now. Don't settle for less, don't go back to the ex just for the old fashioned sacrafice so that the kids can have a family together, if you aren't happy, they aren't happy. you already know it won't work out, so why go thru that cycle again. Just be amicable to each other and be involved as friends/parents but not as a couple.

Take a breath or two, things work out, take it day to day. I do, and it's less overwhelming that way. I look at my daughter and I know every smile and laugh was worth the stress that I had to go thru, there was a meaning for having her in my life.
 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 26
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Single mom of one and pregnant again, what do i do?
Posted: 8/18/2007 5:03:33 PM
You do what is right. I know in the UK, they do offer child benefits, so that helps you. I'm glad you have family that are supportive. Talks things with your family, ask their input since they've gone with you the first time around.
 yayawhatever
Joined: 10/24/2006
Msg: 45
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Single mom of one and pregnant again, what do i do?
Posted: 8/20/2007 4:29:03 AM
Off Topic Posting removed. Thanks to those who remained on topic.
 lovergirl6smooch
Joined: 9/19/2007
Msg: 62
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Single mom of one and pregnant again, what do i do?
Posted: 10/11/2007 9:06:07 AM
Girl have your baby and throw guilt through the window or the door. What is done is done and there is no reason to be crying over spilt milk. I will not be cruel to tell you it will be easy because as you have seen it will not be but I have read from your posting that you are a strong young lady and will pull through. Furthermore you have us as friends to walk with you through it.
 lovergirl6smooch
Joined: 9/19/2007
Msg: 63
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Single mom of one and pregnant again, what do i do?
Posted: 10/11/2007 9:09:33 AM
I agree with you too. I have a cousin who religiously took her birth control and got pregnant still. These things are man made not God made so they will fail at one point are the other. We are God-made and we fail so what about thigns that we make?
 greg919
Joined: 7/15/2007
Msg: 64
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Single mom of one and pregnant again, what do i do?
Posted: 10/11/2007 8:22:20 PM
Hi!
I stumbled upon your letter and thought I would write to you. I am 39 years old and years ago if you told me that I would have ended up divorced with two young children living with me full time I would have never believed it. Take it from me, if you have two children you will never be alone. I also believe it's only a matter of finding a person who will accept the situation that we are in and life will be complete again. You're not alone. Everyone needs help, and I found that when my wife left me people that I didn't even know helped and related to me more than the closest of my friends. It only takes a split second to meet someone special, it's just a matter of when that second occurs. Have faith! I hope I helped a little, also hope i'm not too late. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Take care.
 sassy_1974
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 70
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Single mom of one and pregnant again, what do i do?
Posted: 10/13/2007 5:13:27 AM
chelski, congrats on making a success of your life and not simply giving up. i had my first at 18 i found it incredibly hard.

although this is a good place to chat and unleash your feelings, when it comes to life changing decisions such as this, you should seek professional advice.

however, i will give you my opinion..
if YOU think you can cope raising another child and its what YOU want then do so and never look back. people can easily say 'give it away, 'abort it', when its not them in your shoes. this isnt a piece of faulty clothing that you can take back, its a child-a life and with that you get feelings. if you give the child away not really wanting to, you will be left with an ache that will never leave you and as a result, your son will be unhappy.

if YOU are over 90% sure that you cant raise another child and feel its best for you ALL, then adopt it.

note; to all the people having a 'bitch' fight on here..she asked advice, not to be judged.

above all else please please do what YOU feel is best. keeping this baby wont make you a bad person, nor will giving it away..this is YOUR child.
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 80
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Single mom of one and pregnant again, what do i do?
Posted: 7/24/2009 2:22:10 AM
picescoda- I'm pretty sure that the OP already knows what caused her pregnancy and how to avoid it next time- she was not after advice on how not to get pregnant, so your advice is totally off topic and needs deleting. I will refrain from making personal comments about you and your self-righteous attitude because it's unnecessary. (Where do some posters get that cute lil vomit icon???? I want it!!)

I was NOT in the OPie's situation- I was married and tried for 2 years for my lovely kiddo. I got exactly what I wanted, ticked all the boxes to appease the traditionalists but hey! Guess what!! I admire the OP. I am a teacher with 13 years experience in early childhood and primary education. My experience tells me age and status are not true indicators of how a child will turn out. The most important things for raising children are love, patience, discipline (google the true meaning of this word if you are unsure, naysayers) and an awareness that parenting is a tough job. A decent support system, which you have, is also vital.
OP... yes you CAN do it. If you cannot face abortion (and why should you!) and do not wish to look at adoption, you are going to have to care for your 2 children alone. Its very doable.
Congrats on being honest and yeah... much good luck!!
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