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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?      Home login  
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 brock11
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 26
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
If you expect instant chemistry, then you can be missing out on some potential relationships. Sometimes it takes a few dates to develop chemistry. Some people can be shy or nervous on the first date. The 2 people don't know each other that well. If you expect instant chemistry and you are still single, then that formula hasn't worked out too well in your previous relationships.
 mlm_mlm_mlm
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 27
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 8/26/2007 8:37:49 AM
you cant create chemistry... stupid to even try
 cjp78
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 28
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 8/26/2007 9:17:14 AM
I beg to differ. People who enter into an arranged marriage, with no chemistry, generally stay in it due to the repercussions they would experience by getting a divorce. They would embarass their family by their behavior and be looked down on by their peers. Arranged marriage is a cultural thing, in areas where culture is pure and raw. People are raised to embrace their culture, and if arranged marriage comes with that, they will usually abide by that, so as not to be ostracized..and not humiliate their family.
 dpd22
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 29
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 8/26/2007 9:33:10 AM
I understand having instant physical attraction. I don't agree with 'instant chemistry'. Sometimes chemistry can develop when you get to know the person better.
 NatGoat
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 30
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 8/26/2007 9:34:33 AM
NO !
The Chemistry IS what I want . . !!!
 Biggie_CA
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 31
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 8/27/2007 11:59:41 PM
I think if you find someone who possesses all the traits you are looking for in a partner/mate/SO but there is no chemistry, and no "Chemistry" is there, wouldn't that indicate what you're looking for isn't what you need?
I mean, most people believe they know what they're looking for and believe that is also what they need. How much of your views of what you are looking for are based on views portrayed in advertising, the media, and hollywood?
Maybe your body and heart are just telling you, "You were conditioned to believe this person is perfect for you, but this isn't what you need" and therefore no chemistry?
Why not go for whatever really makes you smile and truly happy instead of the whole Hollywood image of what you need?
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 32
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 8/28/2007 12:05:27 AM
No attraction no deal. You don't have to be in love. Just attraction. Things grow later on to awesome spectrums. But you must have that seed of attraction. Otherwise you're wasting your time.
 makingitcount
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 33
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 9/1/2007 9:13:55 AM
Awesome responses !
 becca210
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 34
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 9/1/2007 11:28:59 AM
I think that whether or not it will work depends on YOU. If a strong physical relationship
is at the top of your list......it WILL NOT.
Sometimes the intimacy is way better than we expected......but only you and she can
answer that question. Good luck....
Becca
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 35
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Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 9/1/2007 11:30:33 AM
Like everything you want in a meal except flavor--will you enjoy it?

Like finding the perfect article of clothing but it doesn't fit--will you wear it?



 BDRT
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 36
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 9/1/2007 8:57:48 PM
There just has to be SOME chemistry. Even if it's just a tiny spark it can grow. But NO chemistry, nope, not gonna work.
 liteyourfuse
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 37
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 9/1/2007 9:51:27 PM
Thats the difference between freinds and lovers. I have been in that situation before in high school. The girl was my best freind. She had a great personality and we got along great. we looked out for one another and had some good times. It just didnt feel right for me. I liked a girly-girl and she was to ummm ruff. so to speak. We did have a moment but it didnt go any further. This is how I feel on the subject but may be different for others. I want to have it 'all' . I think the more that is atracted to one another the more likley the realationship will last and go to the next level. Its got to be there for me or i wont persue the girl. I know from the gut feeling i get on the inside. I cant fake being atracted to someone. This makes it tough on you if the other person is and you arent. Even if you like the attention and the other peerson is great! I cant feel what i dont feel about someone. It will always be that why' as far as physical atraction is concerned. But have met georgious woman that were ugly on the inside and that ruined it all!
 orchidtigress
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 38
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 9/2/2007 12:24:06 AM
You will feel you missed out! This person is best to be a good friends... for lovers the physical chemistry is needed....that is what makes it more than a friendship!
 talksalot02
Joined: 6/7/2007
Msg: 39
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 9/3/2007 8:59:41 PM
I've been through that a couple of times. The first time, I ended up dating him for a year, and the chemistry grew. The second time, I was just not willing to give it a chance, I guess. I ended it pretty quickly.
 marse
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 40
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Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:55:14 PM
I agree 100 % the chemistry aspect is vital for a successful relaonship and it can not be manufactured. Too bad,because many fine people are "disqualified' for this
"reason" which is ironic because there usually is no logical reason behind it. Yet to
ignore this issue is to invite trouble down the road.
 ozziefan
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 41
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 9/14/2007 2:35:23 AM
Oxymoronic. How can there be "everything you want in a partner, but no chemistry"... if part of what you want is chemistry? For some people chemistry is the be all/end all. For others it is less than nothing. If there is no chemistry, you may find that the chemistry will grow over time...or not. Date a bit longer and see. Many of the longest married/happiest couples never had chemistry to start. Harry Houdini and wife were such a couple. On the other hand, if chemistry is all you've got you will usually find that it fades over time. Look at Brit & K-Fed.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 42
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Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 11/26/2007 4:09:20 PM
No chemistry - no deal. Dealbreaker. Gotta have the chemistry.
 lbowli2
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 43
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 1/2/2008 7:04:02 PM
Hello,
Yes i went out with a great man and he had everything in a man that every woman would want,but no chemistry at all on my part... we dated 1 year and got married that lasted 5 year and i ended that. I could not seam to get on the same page as he was and all alone he knew how i felt,he would always say. ( you will just give yourself some time) it takes time... THERE IS NOTHING OR TIME WILL MAKE THIS HAPPEN. IF IT'S NOT THERE IT WANT BE THERE.. TRUST ME THIS IS A BAD THING BECAUSE IT WILL MAKE YOU VERY UNHAPPY.. So now when i meet with them and there's no chemistry i don't even take it to the next level... please allow yourself and your mate a favor don't go there... good luck...
 Desi1955
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 44
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:25:12 AM

In the past few post that I have seen from you as I read these forums, you call women here "stupid, dumb ass female, female dip shit, female jerks" and even saying " ... i'm glad you're in the hospital and you're sick..." you sound like you have a wounded heart. So I decided to look at your profile, one would never know how from reading your profile that you have such a mean attitude toward women in general.


That's why it's fortunate that his forum posts are put at the bottom of his profile. Any woman who reads his profile has a direct link to what he REALLY thinks about women. They don't have to bother meeting him to find out.
 Seavoyage
Joined: 1/18/2007
Msg: 45
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Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:44:52 AM
Chemistry is not what keeps a relationship together. I met this one girl who if she were interested in going out with me, I would, though I didn't feel much chemistry. I thought she had great values, was easy for me to talk to, and I felt comfortable with her, and she looks decent enough. Does he or she look good enough to you? Remember, sometimes friendships turn into love. And you don't usually consider those friends that you fall in love and realize you're in love with them. Chemistry is very nice to have, though.
 justme1124
Joined: 4/5/2007
Msg: 46
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Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 1/6/2008 7:28:58 AM
I've pretty much been there,met a nice looking girl from lava,nice body ,really good pr skills with family,but unfortunatly I just didn't have a thing for her ?,and one night several months in ,seeing her once or twice a week,she saw me surfing this site when i was suppose to be calling her that night,lol,it didn't end it but it definitly undermined things from that point on,fell apart soon after.now i'm in a situation with a girl that you mention in the second half of your email,she has the friendliest bubbliest personality and she makes me laugh,till now its always been a forced laugh with a girl,its very refreshing,shes 5 7",110 lbs,very slim,I could sleep with her no problem,but untill I'm in love ,won't do it, instead I mostly take her places and hang out with her instead,buy her things here and there,and generally treat her nice.She knows I'm not out for anything
this has been going on for a year,sex hasn't been a deal breaker yet for us,she also has this ex that falls by now and then,their just friends,he stops by and watches tv and he makes himself popcorn,lol.I think its good she has other male friends,I think without the sex ,your lovers on hold,chow
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 47
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Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:20:30 AM

(Msg 139) That certainly IS a chemical substance secreted that influences the attractants of the opposite sex. Pheromones enhance the natural chemistry between a man and a woman, and give the perception of increased compatibility, not to mention charisma and beauty which are not due only to aesthetics or physical appearance.


That might explain why a "coke whore" found me so attractive after my release from hospital. She probably picked up on the scent from my potent pain medication.
 tess100
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 48
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:55:53 AM
for me...absolute deal breaker... chemistry is there or it isn't
 quietcowboy
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 49
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Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:21:04 AM
I'm defining "chemistry" as love or something along the lines as having a hunger to be with someone you share chemistry, a much stronger bond than just a friendship(which is very necessary too). I tried having a relationship(a marriage actually) with out"chemistry" and it felt very empty. I thought I could manage it and it just about killed me.
 Desi1955
Joined: 9/28/2006
Msg: 50
Everything you want in a partner but no chemistry--will it work?
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:39:54 AM

I was JUST thinking about this. I met a very nice guy who was literally EVERYTHING I'd ever described to my friends that I wanted. Every single thing. But I just could not feel attracted to him much. I feel angry and annoyed at myself, but there was just missing chemistry and I couldn't force it to happen.

In time, you may grow to love someone romantically that you felt ZERO for in the beginning. But eh, not sure how likely that is. I'd make real sure though that you really weren't into him before dumping him.


That's one of the toughest situations to deal with. The kind of love that grows over time is the strongest kind. But I think if there's no real passion and zing in the beginning, it will probably never be there. The older I get, the more I wonder if I can live without the passion if I have the deep love. Kind of like the sexy shoes (that hurt your feet after a while) vs. the comfy old pair of slippers...not very sexy, but feel good.
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