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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > When does physical attraction stop being so important?      Home login  
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 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 351
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?Page 15 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Even at my age it's still important. Being blessed with really good genetics and a strong work ethic for physical discipline, I've kept in very good shape, and this is the kind of partner I want; someone like me, who has maintained their fitness and attractiveness.

I tried dating a woman who I chose for her smarts and genuinely lovely personality; but she was not the kind of pretty woman I'd been used to dating or marrying all my life.
She was very upset over time that I did not gush over her looks, which were frankly to me quite plain. .. I guess some might say "just go ahead and tell her she's pretty", and that's supposed to be better???? Honesty be damned, I guess.
She would not not let go of this issue to the point of driving me away. Now I'm back dating pretty women; it's just easier. I can deliver compliments on looks honestly, along with all the other things about her.
 vanityfair55
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 352
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/23/2011 7:03:07 PM
I think you have to be attracted to" something" in that person example for me it could just be a persons eyes that draws me in.In the past I have always dated thin men but met a man a few years ago(on line)that normally would not have been my type,not in shape etc,but he had the most beautiful eyes and his personality was the best,had a relationship that lasted a couple of years,so answer to the question it in some form has to always be there at least for me.
 Friendsonly4me
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 353
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/26/2011 10:14:47 PM
Never. No matter what wrinkles or gray hairs the future might bring, I'd still want to see that boyish glint in their eyes..or that mischevious smirk that never changes no matter how many years go by. That, to me anyways, is "physical attraction".
 tomtpapa
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 354
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/31/2011 7:55:51 AM
I think physical attraction is in there somewhere, i know that women love a guy who may be bald, also they love the beautiful eyes, but sometimes as the other lady indicated he may just be a few pounds over weight, but what i think is most men want a lady who is honest, sincere and not so heavy he can't reach her butt with both his hands or kiss her because her stomach sticks out so far he can't reach her mouth, so in many ways its a 2 way streak, but what most men enjoy is a great kiss, a feelintg of togetherness, i think if a person has that, what much is left ?
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 355
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/31/2011 10:44:48 AM

Most men my age, & I'm 47, seem to want girls(& I emphasize Girls) who are soooo much younger! THIS is why I have no dates! But, neither do they! For they think they are "All That" and deserve girl who is "Hot". But guys, These hot girls want your $$$$$$$ not your personality. Then again, maybe your personality isn't enough to keep them forever. Thank God I know when y'all are superficial! Dollars or not, I'm not falling for it!


Not TRUE! Stop blaming others for your lack of success... Many older men DO date younger women and trust me...the younger women are FAR less interested in the money than the older ones!

If all the men who you say WANT younger women CAN'T get them, it would be reasonable to assume at some point they would "settle" for one their own age...right?

The FACT is most people want someone who is YOUTHFUL...in looks AND attitude/activity level....at least to a degree that MATCHES their own level.

If that means younger/older, then that's what happens!

Not keeping yourself up is what hurts peoples chances...not what other people get/want!

In your case NOT having clear head shots doesn't help here....also it's QUITE apparent that you've been a [heavy] smoker for quite a while...and it shows!
That was a choice you make....you must accept the result.
 star4001
Joined: 1/15/2011
Msg: 356
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/31/2011 5:58:21 PM
I just want to Thank You ALL for helping me to understand and thinking it was just me.
Whoooooohoooo...I feel good now.
 Mountaintrecker
Joined: 7/13/2011
Msg: 357
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/1/2011 12:19:17 AM
Let go and allow yourself to be physical. I think it's a learned response to allow some form of touching which fosters trust. No relationship in my opinion survives without touch, in some form. Guys measure a partners trust and love in this way. To discount its importance sabotages the potential. Just my humble opinion.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 358
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/6/2011 9:43:28 AM

When does physical attraction stop being so important?



...I don't think it ever stops. I still have a deep appreciation for a fine looking man strolling by in a pair of jeans and cowboy boots.



...mae
 dc1503
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 359
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/23/2011 8:25:23 PM
That is a very serious question indeed. I have found that men my age still expect women to look like the did in their early 20's before children!! Come on guys get real !
Most of the guy's that are attracted to me are 10 years or younger. I don't feel comfortable with that for the simple reason they may want kids "not me" or are currently paying child support. Been there done that don't want to go througth that again.
I am a real woman with real feelings 100 percent real no plastic added lol...
I have been told that guys will always want arm candy to make them look good and a stud to there buddies, but desire a woman like me ! This does not make any since at all .
So to sum it up I'm not sure if guys will ever get it.. I can't wait for the TLC show Aug.30 BIG SEXY to start lol...
 OneShotRising
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 360
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/24/2011 8:24:16 PM
when I'm dead & 6ft under

 DSMTraveler
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 361
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/25/2011 12:43:01 PM
oneshotrising -- succinctly said!

Everyone has their own criteria for 'attraction'. Physical attractiveness has always been low on my list. Give me someone who can make me laugh, who has a real smile that reaches his eyes, who listens considerately and responds thoughtfully. Give me someone who is responsible, who is willing to learn, who is willing to have fun even if if looks embarrassing. Give me someone with true honor, who refuses to act like a child except when playing. Physical looks barely make the top ten. I like tall with blue or green eyes. I've dated other than.

But if looks are one of the important criteria for you, then I expect they'll be important until you're dead and buried. I guess all I can say is just make sure they aren't the only criteria you use.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 362
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/25/2011 12:59:07 PM

I'm growing old disgracefully


^^^Hope you don't mind, but I want to adopt this particular phrase!

I think no matter how old you are, physical attraction is very important. Mind you, as we age, our views on what is attractive change. At my age, looking at a fine 21 year old is ok, but I would never entertain him. Give me a mature, experience, man, age and all? works like a charm!
 Teddy-daa-Bear
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 363
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 1:22:35 PM
I have looked at photographs of average people in the 60's 70's 80's and 90's.
(so I am not talking about models)

People now just don't care what they look like. And that is a general opinion about
most all the age groups today. I am not talking about what the Lord provided you.
It's afterwards....people's appearances have gone wayyyyyyy down hill. People
seem to dress down instead of up.....women go around without makeup or wearing
ridiculous hair colors and tattoos. Gag! Men go out unshaven and in torn clothes or
clothes that don't fit.

Don't believe me.....compare it for yourself.
 cupper3
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 364
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 3:26:40 PM
It doesn't, but it needs to go along with other attributes that are important in a LTR; you know, respect, attentiveness and doing things together.

I'm 60, my last GF of 2.5 years (we're still friends) was 18 years younger. The one before that 2 years older than me. Both were attractive, active and kept themselves in good shape.

There are *many* attractive women in their late 50's and early 60's. Why should I attempt to make a connection with those in the same age group who have let themselves go? I'm not talking about botoxed and plastic ones, I mean the real ones who eat right, haven't smoked most of their lives, avoided too much sun, and exercise.

Some curves are OK, but if your dumpy (and you know if you are, just look in the mirror), why should we men who take care of ourselves want to meet you? I don't care how nice a personality you are, because there are a lot of women who DO take care of themselves who have just as nice or nicer personality.

I'm not being shallow, just realistic. I don't look, act or feel 60, and I want to be with a woman who thinks and is the same (even if she were older than me).
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 365
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 5:40:36 PM
^^^^ Azul, you raised an excellent point: Part of attraction is that part of a person's presence that shines through; it doesn't have to be handsomeness or beauty. I've seen a couple of fellows (relatives through my mother's second husband) who are scary-looking, but when they smile, you just can't help but warm to them because their true selfhood shines through.

Thanks for reminding me that where personality doesn't initially show (or get counted), who-you-are inside -- that presence you mentioned -- can make all the difference in the reception you get.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 366
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 6:19:39 PM
...I too have looked at someone and found them to be quite attractive... until they open their mouth....and I listen to their words. Talk about the inside changing the outside.
Observation is a very good thing, especially when you get the chance to watch how they treat people and animals. Very good indictor of their genuineness (sp).

Also, I think we have an advantage in some respects to do that as well through the forums here at PoF... Gives us the opportunity to get to know someone by watching what they post and how they deal with other posters... great insight into one' s character and personality.

...mae
 Iascaireachta_arís
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 367
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 10:52:23 PM

When does physical attraction stop being so important?
I don't think it stops being important, we are only human after all.

How and when do you start giving up the need for that and learning to find that passion in other areas?
I think the need diminishes as wisdom grows beyond what can be seen. We hear it in a voice, we feel it in our inner core.

"Beauty is the illumination of your soul."
— John O'Donohue
 geoffonpof1
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 368
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/5/2011 6:23:28 AM
Physical attraction does not go away.
Like a few have mentioned attraction also comes from within ones character.
 luv_serendipity
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 369
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/5/2011 2:26:51 PM
Physical attraction is a must for me. Just ended a 7 year relathioship with someone 12 years younger than me, and although, I am looking for someone closer to my age, I need that " special feeling".
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 370
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/5/2011 3:21:37 PM
It never ends. I still try to take care of myself and believe that guys should do the same. Please guys, take a shower, wear clean and stylish clothes, brush your teeth, don't let the old guy smell get the best of you and please, please deal with any renegade nosehair.
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 371
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/5/2011 3:32:20 PM
Let's see, at the rate I'm goin' physical attraction will only stop when wanting a partner AND a lover does . Or maybe when I'm dead ...

And as far as I see it , physical attraction can happen between any people of any age and combination of ages. It's "chemistry" for real !

 ted61
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 372
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/6/2011 10:59:48 AM
Youth and everything to do with youth, the unlined skin, energy, etc, etc. is a very desirable commodity in our society. It has been proven Attractive people get added benefits in life like better job offers, better starting salaries, and other perks. I don't think physical attraction ever becomes less important. Look at the money older people spend for plastic surgery to look more attractive.

But fame and money also enter into the equation. Look at some of the plain and outright ugly (kieth richards) who have fantastic looking girlfriends and wives.
 ActiveOneinRacine
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 373
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/6/2011 4:10:41 PM
It never stops, there has to be an attraction to even start. But for me it not as important, but he cant be fat & ugly. I will take your average Joe any day! Unfortunately I find guys still put WAY to much emphasis on it yet; even when they're not all that good looking.
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 374
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/7/2011 12:30:59 AM
I think that physical attraction is always important in dating. Why bother otherwise.
That wow factor that is chemistry may be rarer as we age but I think that the excitement has to be there and then we can build the relationship on other qualities.
Some people settle for less but not me. I dont need a man to be happy and would only bother with a relationship when there is pizzazz and sizzle. His voice is the main attraction always and the way he treats me and if he actually listens then it is all part of the package. It amuses me that men with huge guts, balding and wrinkled want a hotter young woman always.. That wont change....I agree that being fit and healthy looking is always preferable in either sex.

 Vertical_Horizon
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 375
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/13/2011 9:08:33 PM
It doesn"t....
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