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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > When does physical attraction stop being so important?      Home login  
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 dkj88
Joined: 6/11/2008
Msg: 426
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?Page 18 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
I totally agree!!!! Most men my age, & I'm 47, seem to want girls(& I emphasize Girls) who are soooo much younger! THIS is why I have no dates! But, neither do they! For they think they are "All That" and deserve girl who is "Hot". But guys, These hot girls want your $$$$$$$ not your personality. Then again, maybe your personality isn't enough to keep them forever. Thank God I know when y'all are superficial! Dollars or not, I'm not falling for it!
 dkj88
Joined: 6/11/2008
Msg: 427
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/21/2011 6:54:31 PM
Why do we all thrive on looks? Is it because we want our friends to think that we are doing our best? Are your friends that shallow? Are you that shallow? Who knows if the guy you are talking to on here is the shit? You do! Who cares?!? You do! Eff the rest!
 Betterthanblond1331
Joined: 5/29/2011
Msg: 428
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/21/2011 7:15:58 PM

why would you want to be with someone who doesn't turn you on?
you may as well spend time with your friends and not bother with any new "adventures".

without physical attraction there is no relationship for me...and i can't see that would ever change...


Daffia..this is so true..I agree..why bother dating someone if you aren't physically attracted to someone?
 el lagarto
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 429
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/22/2011 1:00:22 PM
To stick to the original question : it'll stop being important to me when I'm dead !

But I'll add a caveat - since I don't really know what happens to us after we die ...

 Ready_Real
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 430
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/22/2011 7:54:19 PM
For an romantic connection involving both emotional and physical intimacy, physical attraction (or lack of physical attraction) will never stop being important. For many of us "over 45, laugh lines and road maps on a person's face are the natural outcome of a his/her life's experiences, and as such are very physically attractive. Some things, however, are not the natural outcome of aging. Protruding bellies which completely cover any signs of a belt (or a waist) will for many people represent only physical unattractiveness.
 geoffonpof1
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 431
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/23/2011 4:14:37 PM
The morning after...................... j/k
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 432
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/23/2011 6:15:32 PM
Even at my age it's still important. Being blessed with really good genetics and a strong work ethic for physical discipline, I've kept in very good shape, and this is the kind of partner I want; someone like me, who has maintained their fitness and attractiveness.

I tried dating a woman who I chose for her smarts and genuinely lovely personality; but she was not the kind of pretty woman I'd been used to dating or marrying all my life.
She was very upset over time that I did not gush over her looks, which were frankly to me quite plain. .. I guess some might say "just go ahead and tell her she's pretty", and that's supposed to be better???? Honesty be damned, I guess.
She would not not let go of this issue to the point of driving me away. Now I'm back dating pretty women; it's just easier. I can deliver compliments on looks honestly, along with all the other things about her.
 vanityfair55
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 433
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/23/2011 7:03:07 PM
I think you have to be attracted to" something" in that person example for me it could just be a persons eyes that draws me in.In the past I have always dated thin men but met a man a few years ago(on line)that normally would not have been my type,not in shape etc,but he had the most beautiful eyes and his personality was the best,had a relationship that lasted a couple of years,so answer to the question it in some form has to always be there at least for me.
 Friendsonly4me
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 434
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/26/2011 10:14:47 PM
Never. No matter what wrinkles or gray hairs the future might bring, I'd still want to see that boyish glint in their eyes..or that mischevious smirk that never changes no matter how many years go by. That, to me anyways, is "physical attraction".
 tomtpapa
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 435
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/31/2011 7:55:51 AM
I think physical attraction is in there somewhere, i know that women love a guy who may be bald, also they love the beautiful eyes, but sometimes as the other lady indicated he may just be a few pounds over weight, but what i think is most men want a lady who is honest, sincere and not so heavy he can't reach her butt with both his hands or kiss her because her stomach sticks out so far he can't reach her mouth, so in many ways its a 2 way streak, but what most men enjoy is a great kiss, a feelintg of togetherness, i think if a person has that, what much is left ?
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 436
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/31/2011 10:44:48 AM

Most men my age, & I'm 47, seem to want girls(& I emphasize Girls) who are soooo much younger! THIS is why I have no dates! But, neither do they! For they think they are "All That" and deserve girl who is "Hot". But guys, These hot girls want your $$$$$$$ not your personality. Then again, maybe your personality isn't enough to keep them forever. Thank God I know when y'all are superficial! Dollars or not, I'm not falling for it!


Not TRUE! Stop blaming others for your lack of success... Many older men DO date younger women and trust me...the younger women are FAR less interested in the money than the older ones!

If all the men who you say WANT younger women CAN'T get them, it would be reasonable to assume at some point they would "settle" for one their own age...right?

The FACT is most people want someone who is YOUTHFUL...in looks AND attitude/activity level....at least to a degree that MATCHES their own level.

If that means younger/older, then that's what happens!

Not keeping yourself up is what hurts peoples chances...not what other people get/want!

In your case NOT having clear head shots doesn't help here....also it's QUITE apparent that you've been a [heavy] smoker for quite a while...and it shows!
That was a choice you make....you must accept the result.
 star4001
Joined: 1/15/2011
Msg: 437
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 7/31/2011 5:58:21 PM
I just want to Thank You ALL for helping me to understand and thinking it was just me.
Whoooooohoooo...I feel good now.
 Mountaintrecker
Joined: 7/13/2011
Msg: 438
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/1/2011 12:19:17 AM
Let go and allow yourself to be physical. I think it's a learned response to allow some form of touching which fosters trust. No relationship in my opinion survives without touch, in some form. Guys measure a partners trust and love in this way. To discount its importance sabotages the potential. Just my humble opinion.
 Duchessa
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 439
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/5/2011 9:50:28 PM
When I started losing my looks, and my body began drooping and getting flabby, my hair began thinning and the wrinkles started marching across my face....I decided that it is like the guys say when they check out another woman while they are with you...they might look at the menu but it doesnt mean they will order. I can appreciate a younger good looking man, but I have learned to determine what is truly the meaning of "attractive" to me. A man might not be physically attractive, but he may have a great voice that gets to me....or an accent. Or he may treat me like a queen where other men won't. He might cook, house clean, shop and actually like it. It took me til my 50's to alter my thinking about what "attractive" is for me. Good luck with that.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 440
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/6/2011 9:43:28 AM

When does physical attraction stop being so important?



...I don't think it ever stops. I still have a deep appreciation for a fine looking man strolling by in a pair of jeans and cowboy boots.



...mae
 dc1503
Joined: 6/19/2010
Msg: 441
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/23/2011 8:25:23 PM
That is a very serious question indeed. I have found that men my age still expect women to look like the did in their early 20's before children!! Come on guys get real !
Most of the guy's that are attracted to me are 10 years or younger. I don't feel comfortable with that for the simple reason they may want kids "not me" or are currently paying child support. Been there done that don't want to go througth that again.
I am a real woman with real feelings 100 percent real no plastic added lol...
I have been told that guys will always want arm candy to make them look good and a stud to there buddies, but desire a woman like me ! This does not make any since at all .
So to sum it up I'm not sure if guys will ever get it.. I can't wait for the TLC show Aug.30 BIG SEXY to start lol...
 OneShotRising
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 442
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/24/2011 8:24:16 PM
when I'm dead & 6ft under

 Something007
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 443
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/25/2011 3:27:01 AM
You said a mouthful, Most of us seasoned women are not looking for men to have children with, (ben there done that) just to keep a little company from time to time. We can't compeat with the younger women because wisdom won't let you In this day and time being picky can save you life on several levels. I'm single and picky and proud to have the wisdom that goes with a seasoned women. Younger men come to us for the groundednest the can't get from the younger women. Older men don't pursue us because we understand and clearly pickup on the controlling mind games and are not tolerating it. Younger women because of their youth don't see the total picture and fall into traps that an older women see from a mile away. "Experience"
 DSMTraveler
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 444
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/25/2011 12:43:01 PM
oneshotrising -- succinctly said!

Everyone has their own criteria for 'attraction'. Physical attractiveness has always been low on my list. Give me someone who can make me laugh, who has a real smile that reaches his eyes, who listens considerately and responds thoughtfully. Give me someone who is responsible, who is willing to learn, who is willing to have fun even if if looks embarrassing. Give me someone with true honor, who refuses to act like a child except when playing. Physical looks barely make the top ten. I like tall with blue or green eyes. I've dated other than.

But if looks are one of the important criteria for you, then I expect they'll be important until you're dead and buried. I guess all I can say is just make sure they aren't the only criteria you use.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 445
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/25/2011 12:59:07 PM

I'm growing old disgracefully


^^^Hope you don't mind, but I want to adopt this particular phrase!

I think no matter how old you are, physical attraction is very important. Mind you, as we age, our views on what is attractive change. At my age, looking at a fine 21 year old is ok, but I would never entertain him. Give me a mature, experience, man, age and all? works like a charm!
 Twicebakedtaters
Joined: 6/16/2010
Msg: 446
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 8/26/2011 3:47:21 AM
I am very attracted to women my age. I have always been someone who is attracted to the person as a whole. I did not find my ex attractive on our first meeting....in fact not at all....but I liked many things about who she was. I became attracted to her. Now I find her quite ugly. :)
 Teddy-daa-Bear
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 447
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 1:22:35 PM
I have looked at photographs of average people in the 60's 70's 80's and 90's.
(so I am not talking about models)

People now just don't care what they look like. And that is a general opinion about
most all the age groups today. I am not talking about what the Lord provided you.
It's afterwards....people's appearances have gone wayyyyyyy down hill. People
seem to dress down instead of up.....women go around without makeup or wearing
ridiculous hair colors and tattoos. Gag! Men go out unshaven and in torn clothes or
clothes that don't fit.

Don't believe me.....compare it for yourself.
 cupper3
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 448
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 3:26:40 PM
It doesn't, but it needs to go along with other attributes that are important in a LTR; you know, respect, attentiveness and doing things together.

I'm 60, my last GF of 2.5 years (we're still friends) was 18 years younger. The one before that 2 years older than me. Both were attractive, active and kept themselves in good shape.

There are *many* attractive women in their late 50's and early 60's. Why should I attempt to make a connection with those in the same age group who have let themselves go? I'm not talking about botoxed and plastic ones, I mean the real ones who eat right, haven't smoked most of their lives, avoided too much sun, and exercise.

Some curves are OK, but if your dumpy (and you know if you are, just look in the mirror), why should we men who take care of ourselves want to meet you? I don't care how nice a personality you are, because there are a lot of women who DO take care of themselves who have just as nice or nicer personality.

I'm not being shallow, just realistic. I don't look, act or feel 60, and I want to be with a woman who thinks and is the same (even if she were older than me).
 azul14
Joined: 11/26/2010
Msg: 449
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 4:46:10 PM
Physicall attraction does not go away. It may not be in handsome good looks, but there has to be a presence about a person that makes them shine through as attractive. Something that I have noticed recently is and has become more prevalent are older men who are very shallow, have mean spirited personalities, but still look good. Personally, I want someone with a fine character, a smiling and happy disposition, not someone who is demanding a certain "look".
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 450
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 5:40:36 PM
^^^^ Azul, you raised an excellent point: Part of attraction is that part of a person's presence that shines through; it doesn't have to be handsomeness or beauty. I've seen a couple of fellows (relatives through my mother's second husband) who are scary-looking, but when they smile, you just can't help but warm to them because their true selfhood shines through.

Thanks for reminding me that where personality doesn't initially show (or get counted), who-you-are inside -- that presence you mentioned -- can make all the difference in the reception you get.
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