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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > When does physical attraction stop being so important?      Home login  
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 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 451
When does physical attraction stop being so important?Page 19 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
...I too have looked at someone and found them to be quite attractive... until they open their mouth....and I listen to their words. Talk about the inside changing the outside.
Observation is a very good thing, especially when you get the chance to watch how they treat people and animals. Very good indictor of their genuineness (sp).

Also, I think we have an advantage in some respects to do that as well through the forums here at PoF... Gives us the opportunity to get to know someone by watching what they post and how they deal with other posters... great insight into one' s character and personality.

...mae
 Iascaireachta_arís
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 452
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 10:52:23 PM

When does physical attraction stop being so important?
I don't think it stops being important, we are only human after all.

How and when do you start giving up the need for that and learning to find that passion in other areas?
I think the need diminishes as wisdom grows beyond what can be seen. We hear it in a voice, we feel it in our inner core.

"Beauty is the illumination of your soul."
— John O'Donohue
 geoffonpof1
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 453
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/5/2011 6:23:28 AM
Physical attraction does not go away.
Like a few have mentioned attraction also comes from within ones character.
 luv_serendipity
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 454
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/5/2011 2:26:51 PM
Physical attraction is a must for me. Just ended a 7 year relathioship with someone 12 years younger than me, and although, I am looking for someone closer to my age, I need that " special feeling".
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 455
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/5/2011 3:21:37 PM
It never ends. I still try to take care of myself and believe that guys should do the same. Please guys, take a shower, wear clean and stylish clothes, brush your teeth, don't let the old guy smell get the best of you and please, please deal with any renegade nosehair.
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 456
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/5/2011 3:32:20 PM
Let's see, at the rate I'm goin' physical attraction will only stop when wanting a partner AND a lover does . Or maybe when I'm dead ...

And as far as I see it , physical attraction can happen between any people of any age and combination of ages. It's "chemistry" for real !

 ted61
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 457
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/6/2011 10:59:48 AM
Youth and everything to do with youth, the unlined skin, energy, etc, etc. is a very desirable commodity in our society. It has been proven Attractive people get added benefits in life like better job offers, better starting salaries, and other perks. I don't think physical attraction ever becomes less important. Look at the money older people spend for plastic surgery to look more attractive.

But fame and money also enter into the equation. Look at some of the plain and outright ugly (kieth richards) who have fantastic looking girlfriends and wives.
 ActiveOneinRacine
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 458
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/6/2011 4:10:41 PM
It never stops, there has to be an attraction to even start. But for me it not as important, but he cant be fat & ugly. I will take your average Joe any day! Unfortunately I find guys still put WAY to much emphasis on it yet; even when they're not all that good looking.
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 459
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/7/2011 12:30:59 AM
I think that physical attraction is always important in dating. Why bother otherwise.
That wow factor that is chemistry may be rarer as we age but I think that the excitement has to be there and then we can build the relationship on other qualities.
Some people settle for less but not me. I dont need a man to be happy and would only bother with a relationship when there is pizzazz and sizzle. His voice is the main attraction always and the way he treats me and if he actually listens then it is all part of the package. It amuses me that men with huge guts, balding and wrinkled want a hotter young woman always.. That wont change....I agree that being fit and healthy looking is always preferable in either sex.

 tyedyeddreamzz
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 460
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/11/2011 4:23:41 PM
Bottom line.. what one person finds attractive, another may not. You could be the hunkiest guy around, but if what is inside is rancid, I would not find you attractive. Too much is based on physical looks. I'm going to be attracted to your eyes, your voice, your mannerisms.
 Vertical_Horizon
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 461
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/13/2011 9:08:33 PM
It doesn"t....
 timestandstillfla
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 462
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/18/2011 8:18:57 AM
hmmmmm......it's not soooooooooooooooo
important but Medusa doesn't cut it for me...
 MagikMan59
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 463
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/18/2011 10:12:43 AM
After millions of years of evolution, I don't think it does. I think what we find attractive my change and expand over the years, but never totally go away. The women I found attractive in the past, are still attractive to me, but I'm also attracted to women now that I wouldn't have been in my past. I still want a woman that I find attractive, to find me attractive as well. Personality and how well we get along is most important but I still want that mutual attraction factor with whomever I meet.
 Trustinlove
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 464
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/18/2011 9:51:56 PM
I know for me I am more attracted to a kind and loving man...sure, there has to be a little physical attraction but someone becomes more handsome/beautiful as you get to know them if they are a good partner.

Trouble is...I have found that men, no matter how old or what they themselves look like want to find a 30 year old size 5. I am a good and loving woman with no baggage, financially and emotionally stable but I am a size 12. I look younger than my 56 years and I feel it too, but the last date I went on was an older heavy set man, with back issues and all he said to me was "I thought you had red hair not brown, the one picture looked like your hair was red" and I never heard from him again.

I don't understand the whole big thing about men in their 50's needing such beautiful "visual" women. I have found that half of them must have over used and broken their "tarzans" when they were young (this is from talking to male friends who have issues not just men I have dated) so what does it matter anyway. Are we just to be eye candy when we are young and then tossed aside? I don't know about you other ladies but I certainly believe I deserve a "love me until I die" relationship and I pray their are still some men out their who are looking for a wonderful women who isn't 30 anymore but is still just as good in bed and definitely better at life than the younger ones.
 brownie360
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 465
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/23/2011 4:02:52 PM
Physical attraction hit the very bottom of my list by the time I was about 28. Seriously...looks are a bonus and nothing to do with character.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 466
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/23/2011 4:27:18 PM
Just before The Eulogy...!!
 stargazin53
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 467
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/23/2011 4:35:45 PM
---I think it loses importance when you can finally see the "whole" person; when life has taught us to "see" with more of our hearts and minds and everything else just lines up. A man who understands where he's been; learned from his life; has humor, compassion AND passion for what he values in this crazy world; is connected to his spiritual side and still enjoys learning what he doesn't know...gets mighty fine lookin' in a crowd when he's aware that those are the things that matter.
 Spyhop Maui
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 468
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/23/2011 6:10:19 PM
Aloha, I know exactly what you mean. I am just finishing a wonderful year long relationship with a wonderful women. We get along great but have no real attraction for each other. We both decided that we want that old flame back in a relationship. After a year we have not been able to kindle it. So off we go looking for some one else. We are both in our 50's both are attractive people. But no chemistry. When does this chemisrty stop being a factor? All I can say not in the 50's.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 469
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/24/2011 8:09:03 PM
A) When you're blind

B) When you're 6 feet under
 peatown
Joined: 10/17/2011
Msg: 470
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/30/2011 3:11:14 PM
Uh, never.
if it's been important to you your entire adult life, hard to imagine it will subside no matter what you tell yourself. What qualifies as physical attraction may evolve as we get older but we like what we like.

I can't imagine I would ever want to be with someone if I didn't find beauty in their form, no matter how old we are.

I can't just snap my fingers and become a different person just because I'm getting older.
 cutiecaliente
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 471
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/30/2011 8:43:51 PM
you do what it is comfortable for you... attraction is important... it is different for everybody
 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 472
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 11/5/2011 8:43:10 AM
It was a question I wrestled with after my divorce. Though I thought I was fairly decent-looking, I was very uncertain about whom I might attract or be attracted to. My ex-wife was beautiful and slim, but maybe I'd just gotten lucky? But then my next (and most recent) relationship was beautiful and slim as well.

Now I'm wondering - should I be more flexible about fitness, as well as about looks? Thus far I have felt no romantic interest in women who haven't kept their bodies in good shape (which usually but not always translates into "slim") and don't have what I'd call at least fairly attractive facial features.

I'm fairly sure that one esthetic I won't be changing as I age is fitness. It's not just about looks - it says something about a person's character when they eat healthy, don't smoke, and exercise regularly. I don't foresee ever being with someone who doesn't care about physical fitness, so at this point I'm focusing more on profiles where the women describe themselves as "athletic," even if they don't look like skinny fashion models. One thing I don't understand are women who have beautiful faces - there's at least one of those on this thread, you know who you are! - but let their bodies go (though really not sure what a size 12 looks like).

I almost feel like people with attractive faces have a moral obligation to make their bodies match them. And really, since with a little work that's doable, why the heck don't you??
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 473
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 11/5/2011 11:05:41 AM
Mr. VLove,

I know what you mean. Personally I do not think putting aside the fit requirement is doable. I swim well over a mile 3 mornings a week, regularly walk miles at a time, love to bike, hike, work in the yard, etc. My son's mom is still a relatively slender woman who regularly plays competitive tennis and the women I have dated in the past have all been athletes and educated. Do you think I have a type?

I have to WORK to keep my weight down. I have the appetite of my teenage son; without his metabolism. If I can do it for my well being and my health why should I not have a desire for a woman who feels the same. My thoughts on this are at least two fold: I anticipate my next long term relationship, Lord willing, WILL be my last and if we are on the same page health wise, lifestyle wise, etc., then I am better off ( I DO know my weaknesses); and two, physical intimacy can be refreshing and fun, but not if a goodly portion of my exertion goes to maneuvering a woman who is overly massive. I am not a chubby chaser. And last, there is something eminently satisfying about holding a well toned body that grabbing a handful of fat does not provide.
 pretzelman60
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 474
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 11/5/2011 4:02:41 PM
If there is no physical attraction, why would anyone bother? I don't care about the age, I think you would have to realize that this is the last person you will see at night, and the person you will wake up with, possibly for the rest of your life. There has to be a physical connection there. Or maybe I got it all wrong!

There may be other things that one places above "good looks" or "sex appeal". Intelligence, charm. money. power, etc. may be more important. B ut I still believe there has to be some kind of physical connection. That is unless there is another agenda operating.


JMO
 pretzelman60
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 475
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 11/5/2011 4:14:24 PM
Trustinlove:
"Trouble is...I have found that men, no matter how old or what they themselves look like want to find a 30 year old size 5. I am a good and loving woman with no baggage, financially and emotionally stable but I am a size 12."

When will you and others like you quit saying MEN!? Why don't you try SOME MEN? Or MANY men, or even MOST men? We are not all alike. FYI..I don't like thin women. As my profile states, I prefer women to be "fluffy" When I lay my head on a woman's belly. I want softness. If I wanted rock hard abs, I'd find a guy! it might interest you to know, also, that I have always preferred women my age or even older.

So..please quit saying MEN. Anyway, at my age now, most of the "older" women are in nursing homes, and staff has been alerted!


JMO
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > When does physical attraction stop being so important?