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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > When does physical attraction stop being so important?      Home login  
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 Teddy-daa-Bear
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 451
When does physical attraction stop being so important?Page 19 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
I have looked at photographs of average people in the 60's 70's 80's and 90's.
(so I am not talking about models)

People now just don't care what they look like. And that is a general opinion about
most all the age groups today. I am not talking about what the Lord provided you.
It's afterwards....people's appearances have gone wayyyyyyy down hill. People
seem to dress down instead of up.....women go around without makeup or wearing
ridiculous hair colors and tattoos. Gag! Men go out unshaven and in torn clothes or
clothes that don't fit.

Don't believe me.....compare it for yourself.
 cupper3
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 452
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 3:26:40 PM
It doesn't, but it needs to go along with other attributes that are important in a LTR; you know, respect, attentiveness and doing things together.

I'm 60, my last GF of 2.5 years (we're still friends) was 18 years younger. The one before that 2 years older than me. Both were attractive, active and kept themselves in good shape.

There are *many* attractive women in their late 50's and early 60's. Why should I attempt to make a connection with those in the same age group who have let themselves go? I'm not talking about botoxed and plastic ones, I mean the real ones who eat right, haven't smoked most of their lives, avoided too much sun, and exercise.

Some curves are OK, but if your dumpy (and you know if you are, just look in the mirror), why should we men who take care of ourselves want to meet you? I don't care how nice a personality you are, because there are a lot of women who DO take care of themselves who have just as nice or nicer personality.

I'm not being shallow, just realistic. I don't look, act or feel 60, and I want to be with a woman who thinks and is the same (even if she were older than me).
 azul14
Joined: 11/26/2010
Msg: 453
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 4:46:10 PM
Physicall attraction does not go away. It may not be in handsome good looks, but there has to be a presence about a person that makes them shine through as attractive. Something that I have noticed recently is and has become more prevalent are older men who are very shallow, have mean spirited personalities, but still look good. Personally, I want someone with a fine character, a smiling and happy disposition, not someone who is demanding a certain "look".
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 454
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 5:40:36 PM
^^^^ Azul, you raised an excellent point: Part of attraction is that part of a person's presence that shines through; it doesn't have to be handsomeness or beauty. I've seen a couple of fellows (relatives through my mother's second husband) who are scary-looking, but when they smile, you just can't help but warm to them because their true selfhood shines through.

Thanks for reminding me that where personality doesn't initially show (or get counted), who-you-are inside -- that presence you mentioned -- can make all the difference in the reception you get.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 455
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 6:19:39 PM
...I too have looked at someone and found them to be quite attractive... until they open their mouth....and I listen to their words. Talk about the inside changing the outside.
Observation is a very good thing, especially when you get the chance to watch how they treat people and animals. Very good indictor of their genuineness (sp).

Also, I think we have an advantage in some respects to do that as well through the forums here at PoF... Gives us the opportunity to get to know someone by watching what they post and how they deal with other posters... great insight into one' s character and personality.

...mae
 Iascaireachta_arís
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 456
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/4/2011 10:52:23 PM

When does physical attraction stop being so important?
I don't think it stops being important, we are only human after all.

How and when do you start giving up the need for that and learning to find that passion in other areas?
I think the need diminishes as wisdom grows beyond what can be seen. We hear it in a voice, we feel it in our inner core.

"Beauty is the illumination of your soul."
— John O'Donohue
 geoffonpof1
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 457
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/5/2011 6:23:28 AM
Physical attraction does not go away.
Like a few have mentioned attraction also comes from within ones character.
 luv_serendipity
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 458
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/5/2011 2:26:51 PM
Physical attraction is a must for me. Just ended a 7 year relathioship with someone 12 years younger than me, and although, I am looking for someone closer to my age, I need that " special feeling".
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 459
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/5/2011 3:21:37 PM
It never ends. I still try to take care of myself and believe that guys should do the same. Please guys, take a shower, wear clean and stylish clothes, brush your teeth, don't let the old guy smell get the best of you and please, please deal with any renegade nosehair.
 egowitch
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 460
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/5/2011 3:32:20 PM
Let's see, at the rate I'm goin' physical attraction will only stop when wanting a partner AND a lover does . Or maybe when I'm dead ...

And as far as I see it , physical attraction can happen between any people of any age and combination of ages. It's "chemistry" for real !

 ted61
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 461
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/6/2011 10:59:48 AM
Youth and everything to do with youth, the unlined skin, energy, etc, etc. is a very desirable commodity in our society. It has been proven Attractive people get added benefits in life like better job offers, better starting salaries, and other perks. I don't think physical attraction ever becomes less important. Look at the money older people spend for plastic surgery to look more attractive.

But fame and money also enter into the equation. Look at some of the plain and outright ugly (kieth richards) who have fantastic looking girlfriends and wives.
 ActiveOneinRacine
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 462
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/6/2011 4:10:41 PM
It never stops, there has to be an attraction to even start. But for me it not as important, but he cant be fat & ugly. I will take your average Joe any day! Unfortunately I find guys still put WAY to much emphasis on it yet; even when they're not all that good looking.
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 463
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/7/2011 12:30:59 AM
I think that physical attraction is always important in dating. Why bother otherwise.
That wow factor that is chemistry may be rarer as we age but I think that the excitement has to be there and then we can build the relationship on other qualities.
Some people settle for less but not me. I dont need a man to be happy and would only bother with a relationship when there is pizzazz and sizzle. His voice is the main attraction always and the way he treats me and if he actually listens then it is all part of the package. It amuses me that men with huge guts, balding and wrinkled want a hotter young woman always.. That wont change....I agree that being fit and healthy looking is always preferable in either sex.

 tyedyeddreamzz
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 464
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/11/2011 4:23:41 PM
Bottom line.. what one person finds attractive, another may not. You could be the hunkiest guy around, but if what is inside is rancid, I would not find you attractive. Too much is based on physical looks. I'm going to be attracted to your eyes, your voice, your mannerisms.
 Vertical_Horizon
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 465
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/13/2011 9:08:33 PM
It doesn"t....
 timestandstillfla
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 466
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/18/2011 8:18:57 AM
hmmmmm......it's not soooooooooooooooo
important but Medusa doesn't cut it for me...
 MagikMan59
Joined: 8/2/2011
Msg: 467
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/18/2011 10:12:43 AM
After millions of years of evolution, I don't think it does. I think what we find attractive my change and expand over the years, but never totally go away. The women I found attractive in the past, are still attractive to me, but I'm also attracted to women now that I wouldn't have been in my past. I still want a woman that I find attractive, to find me attractive as well. Personality and how well we get along is most important but I still want that mutual attraction factor with whomever I meet.
 Trustinlove
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 468
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 9/18/2011 9:51:56 PM
I know for me I am more attracted to a kind and loving man...sure, there has to be a little physical attraction but someone becomes more handsome/beautiful as you get to know them if they are a good partner.

Trouble is...I have found that men, no matter how old or what they themselves look like want to find a 30 year old size 5. I am a good and loving woman with no baggage, financially and emotionally stable but I am a size 12. I look younger than my 56 years and I feel it too, but the last date I went on was an older heavy set man, with back issues and all he said to me was "I thought you had red hair not brown, the one picture looked like your hair was red" and I never heard from him again.

I don't understand the whole big thing about men in their 50's needing such beautiful "visual" women. I have found that half of them must have over used and broken their "tarzans" when they were young (this is from talking to male friends who have issues not just men I have dated) so what does it matter anyway. Are we just to be eye candy when we are young and then tossed aside? I don't know about you other ladies but I certainly believe I deserve a "love me until I die" relationship and I pray their are still some men out their who are looking for a wonderful women who isn't 30 anymore but is still just as good in bed and definitely better at life than the younger ones.
 brownie360
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 469
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/23/2011 4:02:52 PM
Physical attraction hit the very bottom of my list by the time I was about 28. Seriously...looks are a bonus and nothing to do with character.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 470
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/23/2011 4:27:18 PM
Just before The Eulogy...!!
 stargazin53
Joined: 11/9/2010
Msg: 471
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/23/2011 4:35:45 PM
---I think it loses importance when you can finally see the "whole" person; when life has taught us to "see" with more of our hearts and minds and everything else just lines up. A man who understands where he's been; learned from his life; has humor, compassion AND passion for what he values in this crazy world; is connected to his spiritual side and still enjoys learning what he doesn't know...gets mighty fine lookin' in a crowd when he's aware that those are the things that matter.
 Spyhop Maui
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 472
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When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/23/2011 6:10:19 PM
Aloha, I know exactly what you mean. I am just finishing a wonderful year long relationship with a wonderful women. We get along great but have no real attraction for each other. We both decided that we want that old flame back in a relationship. After a year we have not been able to kindle it. So off we go looking for some one else. We are both in our 50's both are attractive people. But no chemistry. When does this chemisrty stop being a factor? All I can say not in the 50's.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 473
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/24/2011 8:09:03 PM
A) When you're blind

B) When you're 6 feet under
 peatown
Joined: 10/17/2011
Msg: 474
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/30/2011 3:11:14 PM
Uh, never.
if it's been important to you your entire adult life, hard to imagine it will subside no matter what you tell yourself. What qualifies as physical attraction may evolve as we get older but we like what we like.

I can't imagine I would ever want to be with someone if I didn't find beauty in their form, no matter how old we are.

I can't just snap my fingers and become a different person just because I'm getting older.
 cutiecaliente
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 475
When does physical attraction stop being so important?
Posted: 10/30/2011 8:43:51 PM
you do what it is comfortable for you... attraction is important... it is different for everybody
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