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 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 16
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
That sounds like he doesn't respect you.

However, I want a very clear signal that we are dating, as in the past, women have used the lack of intimacy as an excuse to not take the date seriously. So, I like it if we can hold hands in public, instead.
 brock11
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 26
Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 10/28/2007 9:03:22 PM
Not a problem with me. I have hugged some women without kissing them. Some women aren't comfortable with kissing on the first date and I respect that.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 32
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 1/28/2008 9:10:19 PM
I didn't have the patience to read through the thread, but just wanted to reiterate, that guy was a jerk. A real man worth dating wouldn't react like that.
 bluestuff
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 33
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 1/29/2008 10:08:26 AM
The guy the OP dated has issues, for sure. And if a woman doesn't want to kiss on a first date, that's fine too.

But if it's the third date or so and I've seen ~no indication that there's any physical attraction at all, then that's the last one. Some women (and men) are too nice to say no when a fellow asks them out again.

This 'rule' is, of course, very flexible. I dated one woman I liked for a month or so without any physical contact at all, because I realized she was a prickly pear and wanted to give her time to learn to trust me. That never happened, but I feel everyone deserves a chance.

--Devin
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 35
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 3/4/2008 10:44:41 PM
I could not put my mouth on a strangers mouth. A handshake or a hug. that's it till I want more
 Ralph C.
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 43
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 3/5/2008 7:04:38 AM
Well guy's my personal opinion with with about thirty years of experience, Their is no rule!
It's the timing, the look into each others eye's, I never none of a first date rule, yes their needs to be respect not only on you're first date but always!
So good luck and GOD go for it........
Take Care
Ralph8119
 THE full monty
Joined: 9/4/2007
Msg: 45
Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 3/5/2008 6:47:08 PM
well, once you reach a certain age.....those old dateing rules shouldnt come into play........if i feel like kissing on the first i will.he needs to go with his gut feeling........ ........... ................
 __moh__
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 47
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/18/2008 6:10:42 PM
Hey there,

The bottom line is that u are entitled to have as many and whatever rules u want. It's up to the guys to decide if they can deal with that. your personal rules are simply another part of the entire package that a guy must weigh up in deciding if they're interested. Much the same as a woman takes into account the entire package of a guy. Many many men will really love your discerning nature and will totally respect it. The guy u described showed his true and disrespectful nature and I certainly hope u crossed him of the list.

Hpe the feedback helps and good luck.

Mike
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 48
Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/18/2008 6:29:27 PM
It's not a problem, per se. If a woman doesn't kiss me on the first date, I just assume we didn't make a connection and I don't ask for a second date. If you made a connection with a date, what would be the point of not kissing him? If you told _me_ that it wasn't going to happen up front, you'd kill any chance of anything more than one pleasant evening with some polite conversation. I don't see it as controlling. I see it more as an indication that someone can't be spontaneous or take chances. That type of personality doesn't fit well with mine.
 BOIT
Joined: 11/21/2007
Msg: 52
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/19/2008 12:45:21 PM
I'm sorry but I think this guy is an idiot. How rude and insecure. If I knew I had to kiss on every first date I had......I don't think I would date. If it's right it happens, if it's not.....it doesn't.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 53
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/19/2008 1:00:41 PM
A few of the responders have hit it on the nose. You are silly to live your life by arbitrary rules that hinder your abilities to make adult desicions. If you do not want to kiss a man on the first or the tenth date then fine. But to NOT kiss a man that you are eager to kiss due to some arbitrary rule that you made up is just silly.
While yes you may weed out some jerks with this method, you will alos weed out reasonable men that will view it and you as foolish and immature.
Personally, I refuse to play any such games. If I were to be told that by a woman on a date, there would be no second date. Can someone explain to me the harm in a good night kiss to a man that you are attracted to at the end of a first date? If you as a person are uncomfortable with it, then fine. But to have as a hard and fast rule...
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 54
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/19/2008 1:06:43 PM
And while I am on the subject... A kiss is not something that a woman gives to a man as a reward or a prize to be earned. It is a gesture of affection and simply pleasurable. For women to believe that a man will go out on a date with her just to recieve a kiss is lame. To view the dating experience as the woman holding treats will a man rolls over, plays dead and sits to be rewarded with her favour is outdated! Personally, I don't operate in that manner.
I date to see if there is a match, interest or chemistry. If not then fine, but if there is then I would expect that both parties will comunicate them honestly.
 mjk21258
Joined: 10/20/2007
Msg: 56
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/19/2008 1:19:56 PM
sexymom50 on 8/25/2007 11:05:33 AM
Subject: Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Message: I just started dating again this year after being divorced for a while. I like to take the first date....meeting whatever you want to call it and just talk and see if there is any chemistry and check out their character. I let men know up front ....no physical activity on the first date......no kissing.......nothing! I just had a man get a real attitude about that. The conversation started out really nice but when I told him I didnt kiss on the first date it turned UGLY!! He started accusing me of being controlling and started making comments like "No wonder women have real realtionshipe issues!!" I was totally shocked. I told him I was sorry I didnt mean to come across as controlling and he just kept trying to make me feel bad. We just started talking yesterday?? Whats up with that?? He said there were too many rules. I said I have just 1...the no kissing on first date rule...so what are all the rules you speak of?? So is it too much to ask to let me check you out on the first date gents. I will give a hug??.....

Has this happened more than just this once? Because not kissing on a first date is not a problem with me, I doubt it is a problem with most men. Sounds to me as if this guy was the one that was trying to be controlling.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 59
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/19/2008 11:00:26 PM
I think kissing is intimate, and I dont get intimate on the first date. Im wondering if I want to see this person again, not, do I want his saliva mixing with mine. Some guys get a hug, or a peck on the cheek, but lip to lip? The only thing more intimate than kissing is intercourse.
 redkatt
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 63
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/20/2008 4:11:31 PM
Well Sexymom50 I would have to write that the guy you went out with seems to have some issues! None which I'm sure that you would want to deal with. Trust me, just move on to the next fish.

I myself do not have any of those types of rules (example - no kissing on the first date, etc..). If I'm comfortable with my date then I would want him to kiss me (hey I love kissing! ;-) ). But again that will only happen when I feel comfortable and if I don't then it doesn't happen. Very plain and simple.

It's all about ones comfort level and if your date can't respect that fact then he's simply not worth your time.
 brainznbeauti
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 64
Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/20/2008 4:37:19 PM

I dont want to deal with closed minded or rigid people at all for any reason. if you dont want to kiss someone at the end of your first date thats fine, but if you dont as a matter of principle I think its ridiculous.

it's amazing how the 'open-minded' are quick to label any opinion or idea that differs from theirs as closed minded

anywho, there is nothing wrong with a woman or man who has principles and standards. if you do not wish to kiss on the first date, that is up to you. expressing that to a prospective date resulting in insults about you being controlling or anything else negative, is a telltale sign that the guy is a jerk or that he is looking to bed you quickly.

just because you don't kiss someone on the first date does not mean that you have no interest, if not, there wouldn't be a second or third date. where did this sense of entitlement come from anyway? perhaps this guy is used to talking to chicks who jump in the sack on date two or three...a few trips to waffle house or shoney's and he's in the panties...lol

 Angelnurse10
Joined: 6/10/2007
Msg: 65
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/20/2008 4:53:48 PM
I usually give a hug when I first meet them, but as far as kissing, that would dep0end on how the evening went.
I don't see this as controlling. Stick to what you believe in.
personally this is not something I would discuss on a first date. If it comes to that by the end of the night, you may just change your feelings.
 bellazingara
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 67
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/20/2008 6:40:31 PM
Be glad he showed you who he really was before you went out and wasted an evening with him. What a jerk!
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 70
Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/21/2008 4:18:17 AM
just because you don't kiss someone on the first date does not mean that you have no interest, if not, there wouldn't be a second or third date.


As far as I'm concerned, it does mean that and there won't be a second or third date.


where did this sense of entitlement come from anyway?


It's not a sense of entitlement. It's how I decide if someone is interested in me. If she is interested in me but, by policy, doesn't kiss on the first date, then we aren't going to be a very good match either. People who can't do anything without a rule to tell them what to think just don't work for me.


perhaps this guy is used to talking to chicks who jump in the sack on date two or three...a few trips to waffle house or shoney's and he's in the panties...lol


Spontaneous is better than dead.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 74
Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/22/2008 1:20:52 PM
Sexy Mom, I feel the same way you do. Ug! I'm also more than a little weary of the only thing some men are interested in is what's gonna happen sexually between us. Knock it off!

If I want to kiss him at the end of the first date? He's going to know it. Otherwise all body parts of his better stay where they are - including his lips, tongues and hands!

you go girl!
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 75
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 7/22/2008 2:43:35 PM
I don't like kissing on a first date and I haven't had a problem with it. I also don't make a big deal out of it, either. I just don't do it. No announcement, no speech, just don't do it. If I feel like it, on parting I'll say to a guy, "Can I give you a hug?" and no one has turned me down. One guy, who really was very nice & polite, went to kiss me on the lips and I just turned my cheek so he got my cheek instead. No one has made a fuss yet and if they did, then they aren't the kind of guy I want to be dating anyway. Next!
 TheTime4us
Joined: 3/15/2008
Msg: 82
Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 1/31/2009 8:37:53 PM
[He said there were too many rules. I said I have just 1...the no kissing on first date rule...so what are all the rules you speak of??]

My only rule... is that there are no rules... each time I meet someone I keep an open mind... and go with what feels right at the moment... Why the need to give out a 'rule book?'

cc...
 johnysonline
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 83
Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 2/11/2009 1:09:54 AM
keeping an open mind allow eachother to feel free to be themselfs and respond to a natrual feeling
 Lobo_Corazon
Joined: 2/6/2009
Msg: 87
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Not kissing on the first date.....why is that a problem with some men.
Posted: 2/17/2009 11:32:08 PM
Yep, I'm kindof with you there.

It's cool to have rules and boundaries... But "absolutely no kiss on the first date!" seems like kindof a silly rule. It's self-limiting, don't you think? Aren't you hoping that you'll be attracted to the person, and want to kiss them?

I know I am!
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