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 AUTHOR
 pretty greeneyes
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 17
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Dating and looks Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Hey OP I get what you are saying. I think you would have gotten less slack if you told it was about your cousin in 1st post. I have a friend that is realy large. She works many her size do not. I am not small either. People treat others different when they feel that pesron does not fit the norm. Even Tyra did a fat suit show and she was in tears by how she was treated wearing the padding.

People think if you are overweight you are lazy, ugly, stinky, all you do is eat, etc. To each their own. If everyone was the same the world would be really dull.
 What_are_ya_at?
Joined: 6/29/2007
Msg: 19
Dating and looks
Posted: 8/29/2007 9:06:09 PM
Men are just selfish when it comes to a womans looks


Right, so we should treat dating as a charity and go out with whoever is least attractive to the general male population. Thats a recipe for disaster.

No one decides what they look like, but no one decides if they have a charming personality either. So how is judging based on looks any worse than judging on personality? Being funny dosent make someone a good person anymore than being skinny does.

If I want to laugh I'll go to a comedy club. A physical relationship demands physical attraction.
 playful-kitten
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 22
Dating and looks
Posted: 10/8/2007 11:57:11 AM
because your dating guys who act or still think like they did when they where 18. It takes some people a little longer to grow up.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 23
Dating and looks
Posted: 10/8/2007 12:00:37 PM
Why deer have antlers, and cardinals are red, and each animal has something that makes them stand apart. You are no different, you are performing natural selection whether you like it or not.
 NatGoat
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 24
Dating and looks
Posted: 10/8/2007 12:12:19 PM
Am I expected to say . . ' DAMN, you're Homely ! Will you have dinner with me . . ? '
...I don't Think so !...
Dating is about _Attraction_ . . not Repulsion . . !
The OP is a Very Lovely Lady . . Pretty face . . _Fabulous Hair_! . .
Terrific Shape . . e t c . .
We can Only discover someones Inner-self if we Meet them . .
and we won't Meet them if we aren't _Attracted_ to them . . will we ??!!!
. . It just kind of Follows, doesn't it . . ?? . .
 ManeRider
Joined: 5/22/2005
Msg: 25
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Dating and looks
Posted: 10/8/2007 12:22:48 PM
trust me on this, sexydancingprincess

We are all gods people and we are created differently
I mean how would u feel if you were overweight and no one gave u a chance
well that is how my cousin if feeling right now.. I am not complaining I am trying to
show people there are good,caring loving people out there that have so much love to give and yet no one gives them a chance cause of the way they look


#1, overweightness doesn't just happen. Less than 4% of all overweight people lack the ability to change their circumstances. That means that the other 96% just refuse to acknowledge the facts that they were'nt born heavy, and even though their parents might have encouraged a heavy child/adult, that my no means implies they can't lose weight.
#2 We are all Gods creatures, we are created equal, and it's amazing how many of those creatures love to eat in excess. Overweightness comes with underlieing issues that cause them to overeat and become heavy/obese. The undertone of most people who are overweight are depression, lack of self-esteem, and insecurities. Overeating and weight gain only furthers those character defects; ie; creates even more depression, et all.
#3 not all people make judgements based on weight. I can tell you, at 45, it has nothing to do with weight, and I can assure you, no 25 yr old latino hotties are bangin on my email box to find me considerate of their affections.
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 28
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Dating and looks
Posted: 10/9/2007 6:27:18 AM
I really don't understand where this is coming from

women ask men, men ask women...everyone complains because life isn't fair

How do we even know what beauty is? How do we agree that s0-and-so is attractive? Why do we even have such a concept? Leonardo daVinci knew what it was..it's proportion..proportion, in the natural world, signifies health. Healthy mates make healthy children...we are hard-wired to find the best mate to procreate with. That's the reality of it. Has anyone ever heard of the Golden Mean? Take a life drawing class.

That point aside...finding a mate is never going to be politically correct... it's frequently instinctual. The whole love is blind thing. That said...what one person finds attractive is not what another will...so nature has evened out the board a bit. I would put money on the fact that even someone who is not "attractive" is going to have an easier time finding someone if they are (and look) healthy. The number one killer today is heart disease, which strikes overweight and emotionally extreme (high stress - pessimistic) people more than other types. What does this tell you?

A sunny outlook, intelligence, a sense of humour, etc...are pluses when it comes to health...as is weight proportionate to body size. It's not a matter of people choosing to select others by their politics..it's way deeper than that.

I think back to my exes and I can see that what I find attractive is pretty wide... and had to do with all kinds of physical and personality traits. I need both..most people do. There are probably a small percentage of those who don't...they live in Hollywood, or the Hamptons. They have money...maybe that's all they need.

No matter how much people whine about this it isn't going to change. Hell, sometimes I wish I looked like Angelina Jolie... but I don't, I look like me. Am I healthy? Do I need to change some things in my life so I can be the best I can be? Am I a good person? Do I work at informing myself and being interesting? Do I like myself enough that confidence will shine through? Do I have a life or am I waiting for some man to come along and rescue me? Do I have something to offer, other than looks?

Am I the kind of person I want to meet?

M.Scott Pecks best selling book, "The Road Less Traveled" starts with a very short sentence: Life is difficult.

It is... but the sooner we realize that and stop whining and expecting life to grant us things just because we are breathing, the easier life gets. Life does not owe us, any of us, anything. We are all equal, yes, but life has dealt us all a different hand to play with. The key is to find the uniqueness in oneself... what makes YOU special, different, amazing? When you find that which makes you, you...others will see that and be attracted to it.
 mcbobly
Joined: 8/28/2005
Msg: 29
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Dating and looks
Posted: 10/9/2007 12:07:28 PM

What is wrong with this world today, that we can not be loved and accecpt of who we are.. We have to be a model or "hot " for a guy to want to be with us.
Why cant a man like women for who they are and how they act instead of being judged on what they look like!!!

That definately works BOTH ways, women are just as guilty of this as men are, so don't generalize please.
 EC22
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 31
Dating and looks
Posted: 10/9/2007 3:16:25 PM
I think it is unfair to judge people on looks. I am a wonderful person on the inside and I feel that my outside makes people think other wise.


It's unfair to judge a person on looks if we are talking about friendship, employment etc. When it comes to dating, a woman doesn't necessary have to be a beauty queen. Yet there should be some physical attraction along with having a good personality, compatability among other things. I doubt that a woman would date a man that she thinks is unattractive because he is a nice man. If a man tries to date a woman that he thinks is completely unattractive ( or vice versa ), the relationship probably wouldn't work out and it wouldn't be fair to either person. That man or woman would get accused of using the other person for sex, money or some other purpose. Can't have it both ways. Everyone should date a person that likes them on the inside and the outside.
 RR Man
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 32
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Dating and looks
Posted: 10/9/2007 8:53:36 PM
I'm overweight - and say so in my profile. I almost had to fight of the hits with a stick
===========================================================
How about a date, Megin?

Seriously, when you get to be my age (59), you don't care what a woman looks like any more. If you can find someone who treats you well and is a good lover, you're doing OK. The so-called "hot" women just take advantage of guys, and dump them when someone comes along with a fatter wallet or faster car.

I wouldn't mind settling down with a plain woman. BTW, as I said in another post, I do my girl watching at Wal-Mart
 brock11
Joined: 8/6/2007
Msg: 33
Dating and looks
Posted: 10/10/2007 8:29:11 AM

What is wrong with this world today, that we can not be loved and accecpt of who we are.. We have to be a model or "hot " for a guy to want to be with us.
Why cant a man like women for who they are and how they act instead of being judged on what they look like!!!


Looks aren't everything and I don't expect a woman to be supermodel, but there needs to be some physical attraction. If meet a nice woman who is unattractive, I might be friends with her, but not date her. If I met an attractive woman with a poor personality, I wouldn't date her either.


My cousin has the best personality and the biggest heart any one can have and she is overweight.. and no man on this site gives her the time of day cause of the way she looks. Men are just selfish when it comes to a womans looks


A lot of men aren't attracted to fat women just like a lot of women aren't attracted to short men, bald men, or fat men. Everybody is attracted ( or unattracted ) to certain things. Some women might not be attracted to me because they prefer thin men or blondes. Other women might be attracted to me because they prefer men with an athletic body type or black men. I'm sure that the OP has turned down some men due to physical appearance.
 Justagoodguy65
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 35
Dating and looks
Posted: 10/11/2007 12:22:11 AM

sexydancingprincess writes..........

Get over it.. Look I dont judge people based on looks,
if they dont have a good heart and a good personality and a sense of humor
then i wont talk to them., We are all gods people and we are created differently
I mean how would u feel if you were overweight and no one gave u a chance
well that is how my cousin if feeling right now.. I am not complaining I am trying to
show people there are good,caring loving people out there that have so much love to give and yet no one gives them a chance cause of the way they look


Dear sexydancingprincess.

I've been overweight in my life in the past and didn't have many women looking at me as well. Your cousin isn't unlike millions of others in her situation. If she wants to get more attention from the opposite sex, tell her to go on a diet. I know...I know. I sound insensitive. But trust me. As someone who lost almost 70 lbs, it made a huge difference in my health, my sex life, who I attracted, and my self esteem. Nothing better than going into a store and buying clothing right off the rack and have it fit perfectly.

Natural selection is the rule of the planet. Or as one person put it so well, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Everyone has their criteria for what they look for in a mate, and you're no different. To say otherwise I think is disengenuous. Not to mention, you're only 25 years old. You're just a kid when it comes to relationships. You've got alot to learn still.

So with that said. Help your cousin. Get her into a Weight Watchers program. Get her involved in excercise and good eating habits. Check out a book called, "Body for life". It's an amazing book. It's only about $25 and I used to sucessfully. I lost nearly 70 lbs in 12 weeks and kept it off for several years now. If for any reason she should lose weight, tell her how much better she'll feel being lighter and more healthy.
 cnmaestro
Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 37
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Dating and looks
Posted: 10/11/2007 7:48:47 AM
The way I see it is this. I've had some friends that wanted to go to the club with me. They would complain that they didn't look good enough to get a lady at the club. But looks is like most things in life, a game. Once you know the rules, it's easy to look hot, barring major physical issues. The question is, do you go out dressed for the occasion? If you are a guy, do you take a shower and trim your hair? If you have a beard, does it look like ZZ Top, or is it neatly trimmed? If you're going to a high class club, are you wearing jeans and a cut-up shirt, or are you wearing a nice suit combonation?

Looks are fleeting and everyone's physical beauty will fade with time, this is true. But how you look can tell a person a lot about you. If I tell a lady that I'm taking her out to a fine Italian restaurant and then dancing at a high-class club, and she responds favorably, I'm expecting a nice dress with her hair done and depending on style, some makeup. If she greets me at the door with a stained sweater, cut-up blue jeans, frazzled hair, bad body odor, and drool stains on the corners of her lips, I'm going to know that she isn't taking me seriously and I should probably move on. Either that or she has some major self-esteem issues and I should be prepared for emotional baggage.

In the case of the friends I mentioned earlier, a quick trip to the local clothing store, a good shave, and a haircut gave them the ability to look nice, which naturally improved their confidence, and all of them met beautiful women with great personalities. So why am I on this site? I guess like all good advice, nothing is perfect ;) So hope this rant has enlightened some.

-Chris
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 43
Dating and looks
Posted: 3/15/2009 12:02:41 PM

and i know there are going to be people that say im lying which im not


Makes no difference if you're lying. A lot of us want to be attracted to someone and have them be attracted to us right back. You don't really have to be a regulation hottie to have that either. I see it all the time offline. Even online sometimes.

Thing is that liking the insides can make the outsides even more appealing. It is't always about being shallow.
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 46
Dating and looks
Posted: 3/15/2009 3:17:38 PM
I hate pity threads. There is no need to bring down the rest of the posters with negative thoughts about one's self. You need some help OP in dealing with your OWN lack of self worth. No guy will help you with that.

I simply don't go out with anyone who is uncomfortable being seen with me. And I have no problems in meeting some wonderful people, great looking or otherwise. By happy.
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 48
I'd say...
Posted: 3/15/2009 5:54:29 PM

3 times as many women


Pfff.. maybe in a grocery store or a gyno's office. Nice fake fact.
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