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Joined: 6/19/2005
Msg: 26
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New Ways for First DatesPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Nu West Guy is right, find a common like you both share. One girl I met once in my drama class wanted me to take her to learn how to shoot a weapon at a firing range. She told me it turned her on to have that much power in her hands. Wow, did that conjure images in my head lol

So I took her to a local gun store so she can try it. We had a blast and got to learn so much about each other. Just for the record I don't own or like weapons but my service background qualifies me to teach them.

This was the LAST place I ever expected to take a girl lol

Overall, I think you just met someone who did not know how to communicate with you at the coffee place. If it didn't work once there it may work a second time. Don't be afraid to try something again just cause it didn't the first time has nothing to do with the place itself but the person your with. No Chemistry it seemed.
Joined: 6/14/2005
Msg: 27
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 6/30/2005 7:43:36 AM
nice picnic in park or beach
Joined: 4/12/2005
Msg: 28
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 6/30/2005 10:06:52 PM
I highly recommend going to a zoo. Bowling might be fun unless the guy is all serious about bowling. Some places have black light bowling. That would be kind of funky. An arcade would also be fun. I know a lot of people don't like to go to movies because you can't talk but if you plan to go out for coffee or dessert after the movie then you can discuss the movie.
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 29
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 7/13/2005 7:52:13 PM
I did this last week and it was good:

We went for a walk in the park. I suggested we sit at a picnic table. I took a little backpack with me and brought along some chilled wine in a thermos (a nice Pinot Grigio) and a couple of lexan wine glasses. It was a nice surprise for her; a glass of wine in the park.
Joined: 7/29/2005
Msg: 30
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/9/2005 10:04:00 AM
I live in small town with Canada right across the river so ive met a couple men here in my town at the waterfront park. Plus in the summer,,,in my community as well as others around me,,there are usually festivals going on so ill invite someone to go along with me on a first date. That way,,we can people watch,,,look at the various venders and eat cheap carnival food! lol
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 31
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/9/2005 3:47:17 PM
Uh oh, coffee, dinner, etc. is very cliche. Find an activity that you both enjoy doing. An art museum, or some sort of festival is always cool, it keeps you busy but you still have time to talk. Perhaps bowling, a walking marathon, hiking, etc. If you combine activity and conversation, you'll find it to be an easier date, still won't guarantee a "match", but you'll feel less pressure.
Joined: 8/3/2005
Msg: 32
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/9/2005 6:41:15 PM
hmmmm you guys have me thinking! I've been on dozens of dates in the last while and they've all been over a drink or over coffee......and VERY interview like! None have been worth repeating

I think i'm going to come up with something a lil different for next time. THanks!
Joined: 11/2/2004
Msg: 33
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/10/2005 3:32:14 PM
First dates should be going in as friends meeting with no expectations of the other,
like when you made friends in school, no judgement, honesty and being open.
Talking is allowed lol while having fun, you both know if there's no chemistry thats ok.
Just be yourself. Yes Ripley there are guys like that in Mich.
Joined: 3/9/2005
Msg: 34
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/11/2005 1:21:47 AM
Go to karaoke!!! hehe....
Joined: 7/30/2005
Msg: 35
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/21/2005 10:38:31 PM
I had a great first date Saturday. Was with someone from another site that I met about a month ago, and we have been talking on a regular basis. We decided to finally meet. He wanted me comfortable, so he opted to drive the 45 minutes to my location.
During our conversations, we had discussed things we enjoy doing. You know what, he was actually paying attention, because when he offered to drive here, I suggested then he tell me what he'd like to do.
He reminded me that I had mentioned a park near the river that I enjoy going to. He said he'd like to pick up take out, bring it down to the river and have dinner there. We agreed to meet at a "dunkin donuts" first....just for the hellos. Public place, feelings of security.
After about 20 minute chat, we went and got take out, then to the park we went.
After enjoying conversation while we ate, we went for a nice walk along the river. There we not many other people there, but enough to make you feel like you were not alone. (public place)
Before we knew it, we had been there 3 hours, just talking and getting to know one another. This was our chance to either say, enough already, or I'd like to spend more time with you.
Politely, he said he'd like to spend more time with me...suggested we go out for a drink. I accepted. And we spent another 3 hours there, chatting and dancing.
Did we have a good time? Yes. Was there any pressure? No Would I go out with him again? Sure, why not, had a great time, and so did he. There were no sparks on my part, but it did give me a chance to meet a very nice gentleman, and who knows, looks like I made a new friend. We never have enough of those, do we?
 aka Joe
Joined: 8/4/2005
Msg: 36
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/22/2005 9:34:31 AM
This is perfect. I was just thinking about this the other day and suddenly came across this thread.
Most profiles list in the first date section: go for coffee, or sit on a patio where we can talk and get to know one another. This makes sense but it also creates a problem. It puts pressure on both parties to create conversation and the focus is entirely on you both. I think that maybe that is why there are so many first dates and few second dates. Most people you meet aren't going to result in fireworks and that magic right out of the gate, you need to settle in and get comfortable with them. Perhaps meeting for a drink somewhere with the goal of doing some activity if the initial meet goes well would help. That way the focus is off you and you can relax and enjoy yourselves. I've been on many coffee dates and such and its okay but you walk away not really wanting more as a rule. I recently went on a date where we met for drinks and then headed to an amusement park for an afternoon of fun and games. We had been getting on really well online so it was just a matter of meeting and making sure the face to face went well enough to continue. That change in dating M.O. made for the best first date I have been on in a long time. It made me want to see her again and I think she feels the same as she agreed a second date was in order.
So I say, get out and do something, mini golf, bowling, tennis, a sports game if you both are into that, whatever. Just anything that takes away that focus.
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 37
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 4/15/2006 3:24:34 PM
Mini golf or a game of billiards. Great way to get to know someone even if you're not all that good at it. And it could potentially keep you mobile. Also good for exercise all that walking around the billiards table or from tee to tee.
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 38
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 4/15/2006 8:44:57 PM
Go for a walk, visit a petting zoo...anything that gives you something to talk about and can be as short or as long as interest dictates.

I would never agree to go to someone's place as first meet. I just am not that trusting.
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 39
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/15/2006 1:42:23 PM
Coffee dates are awkward. Frequently they are during work hours which is also strange. But one way to make it better is to sit side-by-side, maybe looking out the window. In fact this is always better than sitting across from each other on initial dates. People naturally sidle up to one another (for later dates or a good first one!). Sitting across from each other means too much talk and pressure.
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 40
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/15/2006 3:37:27 PM
I went on two really great dates recently with people from PoF. The first one I met at a nearby amusement and water park, we spent the day together laughing and relaxed, riding the rides, getting those goofy pictures taken. The second guy and I spent an afternoon together at an art festival. Way less pressure and more laid back than the more traditional coffee or dinner!
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 41
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New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/15/2006 4:49:53 PM
I love the "walking" date. You can walk along, chat, look around and any awkward silent moments can be easily filled by talking about stuff you see on the walk. It's also great if you are a little shy about making eye contact. It is even better when you end up holding hands.
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 42
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/15/2006 7:00:23 PM
Walking is good...I still like the coffee dates for a first date just because you can find out what you need to without much distraction. If its an early date and things go well, you still have time to do other stuff. Eye contact is a must for me...if he cant look you in the eye, its easy to make a quick getaway. I interview alot for work so I always find it tough not to probe too much. I am just naturally curious!
Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 43
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/15/2006 8:54:35 PM
take her to church. That would be interesting, now...wouldn't it.

What the heck. I don't know...I don't date...I "do stuff together"
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 44
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/15/2006 9:20:53 PM
The things that I havent tried...but who no's......picnic while skydiving, swimming with dolphins, a nice lunchin in your kids tree fort, or ya no, just getting together for a cup of java on top of the empire state building. The sky is the limit!!
 Somewhat Romantic
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 45
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New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/16/2006 5:52:40 PM
I'm not sure if random 4 is a guy or gal but he/she sure does have great ideas.I'm gonna write 'em down,in fact.I did'nt read too far into this forum(absolutely terrific forum,hat's off by the way,best I've seen),but my take on face painting is it's a mighty sensual experience,Very romantic,and more beautiful between two people who have already decided for sure they are romantically interested in each other.Maybe if the couple has talked enough on the phone,but...For me at least,side by side is better.I'm just like,I don't want to jump into someones eyes,because that never works for me,anyway.
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 46
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/16/2006 6:10:21 PM
I like to go bar hopping on the Harley...and kill 'em with laughter.
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 47
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/16/2006 9:04:27 PM
A friend once told me.... First dates are like interview process ..... you meet different ppl and then you decide at the end of every date what matches with you & then process of elimination that is when u decide who u want to be with.. My friend who got this coo coo idea is juggling 10 guys whom she is seeing all together & she is debating out of those 10 guys whom she wants to be with....

In my case... I dated 3 guys offline & I am down to one & that is who I want to date......and he knows who he is...

First dates is like Gambling.... you dont count your chickens till they hatch.... you have to gamble your way out of everything..... You have to make sure they are right match for u..
As for what to do on A first date, walks in the park or beach would be nice.....long walks at night would be a nice touch too..... Watching a movie cozy on the couch is another thing but go for a walk after one movie that tends to lessen the boredom to get out & come back to watch another one.... I know how that is like bec I did that with my first date with this guy i want to date.... I bored him out till i decide to go for a walk.... that liven the date we went for fresh air.....and he met my friends & came back & watch another one.

Dont go to bars bec its not a good place to bring your date bec you never know that once u turn around someone can scoot in & take your place. Best idea too to go out on a date SOBER because then you can remember what happen to the date rather than pissed drunk out of your mind to recall what u did and what happen the night before....

Surprise him with dinner..... you get everything from the grocery & cook him or her a good meal.....that lightens up everything too. That is a fun time in the kitchen too when both of u share what u like to eat & what u dont like.....

Watch a concert or go out for dinner that is nice too at least u get to know what music they like & what food they like to eat.....

What else oh take them horse back riding.... Women esp go ga ga over that.... Men on Horses is sexy.....and go ride in the trails is fun too.....

Go for a picnic or watch the sunset in English bay that is romantic for sure....
 Belly Drummer Girl
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 48
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/18/2006 8:18:07 AM
I prefer dates where you are walking around and doing something as opposed to sit down coffee style.

I love to offer to plan the first date. I take something we are either both interested in or he is interested in and go with it.

Some of my favourite first dates have been:

ROM, going to music stores and pond shops to check out instruments, the beach, playing pool, going to street festivals, helping him shop for clothes (his request),etc.

If you enjoy what you are doing on the date you won't mind spending time with the person if there is no chemistry because you are having fun and it helps ease the nerves.
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 49
New Ways for First Dates
Posted: 8/18/2006 10:20:00 AM
The zoo, aquarium, a lake. Anything that gets you out and talking, instead of having an interview over coffee. Hate those ones. Find something fun going on in town and suggest that for a couple of hours.
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