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 Dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 43
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Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+Page 8 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Honestly, I'm fast approaching 30, going to be 28 in under a month. I have never been married, and I can't see it happening any time soon. Not because I'm "set in my ways" or whatever excuse people want to make for not even giving a never married person the time of day, much less a chance. I have had my share of experiences, some of which a divorced person are less likely to have experienced, but I won't get into that here. Some of which I was directly involved in (unrequited love that in the end shatters your entire perception of the emotion, anyone?), some of which I was indirectly involved in (parents divorced, there wasn't a custody battle, more like a custody war that lasted years, starting when I was 12 or so).

Personally, I would have no problem "dating" a divorced person or a never married person. I look at the person as who they are in the present, not at who they were in the past. I really don't even have high expectations, the physical, the superficial, isn't important to me, looks fade after all, all I really look for is a good person, someone I can feel comfortable with.
 Dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 45
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Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+
Posted: 11/8/2007 7:14:42 PM

Draco, at 28 you are pretty young and I don't think it means anything to have not been married. I am talking about men my age in their mid 4o's... I just find the divorced ones better partners, and they compromize much easier.
Penny


I know I'm young still, physically speaking, and odds are I have a long life ahead of me, but the fact remains that I don't see myself getting married at any age. While I know that it's possible that I might, by chance, come across some one who just completely blows my mind and there is that chemistry, and who knows, maybe even makes me believe in love as I once did again, I'm just not expecting it in my life time. And honestly, I'm alright with that. At least I'll be able to say that I had once loved with all my being, even if that love wasn't returned.

I don't think age really has anything to do with compromising. At nearly 28, I'm about as flexible as it comes in general. As I said in my previous post, I'm really not all that picky. That doesn't just apply to what I look for in women, but in life in general.

Regardless, I wish you the best of luck in your search.
 TitusBreast
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 46
Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+
Posted: 11/8/2007 8:22:50 PM
It was funny when my dad told me that when he was younger, if a man wasn't hitched by thirty, he was considered to be "light in the loafers" and "limp-wristed" by his peers. I had a difficult time visualizing what those descriptive phrases meant, so he point-blank told me this scenario: My dad was a mechanic, mind you. He said that one time a queer rolled into his shop and said, "My horn don't blow, but I do!" I could not stop laughing, and said that quote over and over again. He also said that women who had not been married by age thirty were called "old maids" and "old spinsters". I have not forgotten that and still think that to myself secretly from time to time, and end up smirking and snickering about it, should that age thing happen to come up. Of course, I, as usual, mean no harm...Much love, Titus
 labohemepuccini
Joined: 8/1/2007
Msg: 47
Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+
Posted: 11/14/2007 9:22:05 PM
Excellent answer, terrific arrangement of words into coherent and lucid thoughts. I am with u, my friend...and still illusive...
 lolLori
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 48
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Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+
Posted: 2/7/2008 5:05:02 AM
Sorrey Im single have known lots of friends and family and friends of friends or family single after 30, married after 30, divorced I dont feel any different and I dont think my single or never married, divorced or still married friends get along in life any different. Most do have kids thu. The women getting divorced later in life seem to have it rough but so did the young ones when I was younger too. You get to mellow after years pass and a woman is single again for a while.
 lolLori
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 49
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Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+
Posted: 2/8/2008 6:43:33 AM
you choose to marry isn't for you or you just aren't someone who should be married. Learning from your mistakes is when you break up with someone before you walk down the aisle.



Yeah you gotta kiss alot of toads before you find your frog lol something like that. My life was in the fast thing, a few major disaters when I was young and all my friends got boyfriends and married.Later couldnt help but being surrounded the ones getting divorced breaking up was when my Im hoping romance is supposed to be the answer. Yeah right on the one that said you shouldnt settle and end up divorced like 60% of marriages (old stat) So the single ones past 30 might just be aware of more of the Cons when it comes to partners. The
 northeast25
Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 51
Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+
Posted: 2/8/2008 2:04:24 PM
I would never state that a divorced person is better than a single person based on ONLY their marital status. There are many valid reasons why someone is still single in their 30s. There are also some poor reasons why someone is divorced.
 lolLori
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 52
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Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+
Posted: 2/17/2008 7:42:32 AM
In the 70's the divorce rate was 60 %, it was mentioned they already know what marriage is about. My point is if the answer is yes they must not have had much success be more positive than a single over thirty, using comman sence not to deciding marriage isn't the right thing, yet be a worse candidate for a relationship maybe they just avoid the heartache 60% of divorced went thru. As for reponsibilty they might have manage to be single or single parent and done just fine.
 TheEmeraldTeardrop
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 53
Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+
Posted: 4/9/2008 1:34:55 AM
I don't think it's more "acceptable" to be divorced than to have never married.

I think lots of divorced people try to find ways to make the stigma of divorce look less painful and less of a complication for a future relationship.

Most relationships, whether you are married or not, fail. The difference with a divorce is that the failure is legally recorded for everyone to see.

This isn't much different from single parents claiming having children makes them more "mature" or obese people claiming their weight gave them true insight on loving someone for their "character"

It's just trying to take a negative and making it positive by the most absurd loose connection possible.

I've been asked out by divorced men before and here's what I think

- He might have a crazy ex wife to deal with for the future
- He might have kids which is it's own set of issues
- He might have half his paycheck gone each month to support his ex wife and kids, possibly limiting my options for career and living situation with him
- He might not be over his last relationship yet, or ever

Now single men can have just as many hangups and problems, sometimes more, but honestly being divorced is a good indicator that there are more issues to deal with if you want to date them.

People should accept their circumstances and limitations and realize how society perceives them and actually try to find solutions for them instead of just denying that the stigma exists.
 BlueSmurf
Joined: 11/9/2007
Msg: 54
Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+
Posted: 4/9/2008 1:42:57 AM
I just ended a one year relationship with a woman I loved very much. She married her first real boyfriend (just before me), and it lasted less than two years. I've never married, and my longest "live-in" relationship lasted five years. We're both successful professionals in our early 30's. I truly believe that the end of my five year relationship was more devastating to me, than the divorce was to her (and it was not a friendly divorce). Honestly, I would rather date somebody like her than somebody like me. Wouldn't you prefer someone that is slightly traumatized by divorce, versus someone totally crushed by a heart-wrenching break-up? She's financially screwed for a long long time, but her emotional health is intact. I'm emotionally scarred for life (relegated to being used for sex by attractive women). My point is that you should not judge a book by it's cover (and attractive women should sleep with me). On a more serious note, I DO prefer that my future wife experiences our white wedding/purchase of our home/birth of our children together for the FIRST time in both our lives. Don't we all want to feel as though we were the only one? It just feels more special that way. Of course, that is only a desirement--not a requirement.
 lolLori
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 56
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Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+
Posted: 5/19/2008 11:21:21 AM
Maybe these things shouldnt be compared at all even if they are. Single people could have comman law relationships identical to divorced. If you meet someone divorced or single and they definately have negative relationship issues or concepts this would be the points to consider. Positive relationships are hard to find and are not the most obvious, perfectly great people get rejected all the time and the "bad boy" or abusive relationships flourish. Yes the ****s always get the nice guys too. So everyones nice and confused.
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