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 wylder1
Joined: 5/20/2008
Msg: 255
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???Page 11 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
The boat rolled. I fell in the water, dragging her with me. She couldn't swim. I was tangled in the sheets. It all worked out but for one thing. She never returned my calls.

- W.
 luckyliam71
Joined: 5/20/2008
Msg: 256
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/24/2008 6:54:52 AM
I had just met a new girl, and she was very multi orgasmic. She could literally just take it all in and somehow squeeze one off without a lot of effort on my part. She was playing cowgirl, and squeezed off a real big one....and SHIT on me. She didn't even notice. She was surprised when I asked if I could take a shower. She just looked at me funny and pointed the way. At least I can say I literally "****ed the shit out of her". Never saw her again after that. I wonder why?
 GypsyRenee
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 257
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 9/9/2008 3:17:19 PM
wow... ^^


This was with an old girlfriend of mine, we'd just started dating, and she still lived with her parents at the time. I had come over to stay the night, (they didn't know we were dating...). Well, we started getting pretty hot and heavy, she was making alot of noise, as I was doing all the work at that point, when her mom walks in. (she worked nights). She tells us to turn out the lights and get some sleep.

We turned out the lights, waited for a moment, then started up again, this time putting a pillow over her head to muffle the sound... a few moments later (when they thought we were asleep, I hear her mom yelling at her dad "MY DAUGHTER IS A LESBIAN! They're having SEX right now!!" we couldn't continue at this point. we were both laughing too hard.
A few minutes later, her dad bursts in, finds us pretending to be asleep, and yells back , "They're not having sex! They're just sleeping in the same bed, you idiot!"

 NYCmasterplumber
Joined: 8/17/2006
Msg: 258
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/23/2009 11:36:22 AM
The worst thing I ever said during love making was telling the girl " your sister has bigger tits and a tighter vagina"
 ijustneedone
Joined: 6/18/2009
Msg: 259
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/23/2009 6:51:22 PM
Worst sin I've ever commited during sex [& my fellow fellows, take heed & do not verbalize this same observation should it happen to you, too]:

Years & years ago I'd dated a woman for whom I'd had high hopes. We were in the Garden of Eden one perfectly lovely afternoon & making love sweet love, just like in the song. I was atop her & laying upon her so I could kiss her deeply & passionately, & I just enjoyed the feel of her boobs upon my mine own hard breast, sewing the seeds of love, as it were [again, just like in the song]. Suddenly in the core of my being I realized that there was something I'd not noticed before &, still humping away like a poor male Praying Mantis that had just had his head eaten off by his own partner during sex [you can look this up, it's true!], I raised my body upward from her own gleaming with sweat torso &, taking a bite of The Fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, I slightly twisted my head like any other confused dog & said, "My darling, are your boobs two different sizes?"

Of course, as you may have guessed, I've been damned ever since.
 hellgremlin
Joined: 5/23/2009
Msg: 260
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History
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/23/2009 6:53:59 PM
I once projectile vomited directly into a girl's crotch.
 luvs2bme
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 261
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 6/23/2009 6:55:01 PM
Ugh... I got the ball of my tongue ring stuck in the tip of his d*ck. He grabbed my head and stopped me. Said, "What the hell?" and I said, "Ah tink mah tun ith sthuk tah yar dak". OMG OMG OMG!!!! I was apparently way too vigorous (as he requested) and it just slipped right inside him. I don't have the tongue ring anymore.
 ilovedragons
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 262
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:38:51 PM
Ok my ex and I had had a few too many screeming nazis one night (its a shot jager and pepermint schnaps) and not only did we pop an airmattress but I also puked on his clothes while he wasnt wearing them. The next morning he had to wear some of mine home. He lived and worked with one of his buddies and just walked by him like nothing and said I will be ready for work in 15 min is there any coffee. I on the other hand was so embarassed.
 kmm52072
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 263
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:47:39 PM
I was giving an ex lover a bj and right as he was cumming he decided to say something funny and as luck would have it, I started laughing as his cum was shooting down my throat...he was a definite forceful cummer...well, I started laughing just as his cum was shooting down my throat and it went down my air pipe...made me start coughing and as cum was cumming out my nose he was getting the proverbial shower of his own spooge!
 longlocks40
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 264
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:57:06 PM
I threw up on a guy while having oral. It was very yecky and embarrassing.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 265
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 9:49:39 PM
LOL, this is the funniest thread ever.
Ok, was with my bf long long ago at bike week in Daytona, and my best friend was with her guy too, and they had rented a house down there with several other friends. After a wild night of drinking and partying, we all paired off to our respective rooms. One thing lead to another, of course, and me being rather vocal when my well-endowed partner was hitting what I like to refer to as the 'cuss button' which is that special spot deep within that makes me cuss like a longshoreman for some reason. Well, I was hollering out 'Fvck me like a 20 dollar whore god-dmmit', and he was putting it to me for all he was worth. Apparently the walls were not too thick, and in mid-stroke, I hear my friend's bf holler out, 'Oh for God's Sake, someone give her a 20 and get her to shut the hell up!' Well, needless to say, I start giggling, and so does he, and the mood was lost. The next morning I had to face all the couples at the breakfast table, and they all started clapping and gave us a standing ovation.
Yeah, I was mortified. Now when my bf hits that spot, I shove my face deep in the pillow...my apartment wall is shared by a viccar...can't be letting him hear all my business, now can I?
LOL
Beth
 Technical Buddha
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 266
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 9:49:57 PM
Was doing it in the car in the park, about 11 at night. Passenger side window was rolled down a little bit. Curious police officer got an eyeful.

We got a ticket. :(
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 267
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 10:38:21 PM
I got held up in traffic and by the time I got there they were finished.
 chris48mt
Joined: 4/9/2016
Msg: 268
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History
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 7:28:59 AM
Many years ago when I was young, I was desperate to experience a prostate massage but could,nt find anyone to give me one. Eventually an older lady and part time fb agreed on the condition that she gave me two glycerine suppositories first, to make sure that I was nicely cleaned out. I agreed like a shot, when the time came she inserted them into my bum and I pulled my underpants up and we sat together on the sofa chatting. She said I would need the loo in about 40 mins. After 10 minutes I got the most powerful stomach cramps, as I stood up to run for the loo I uncontrollably filled my underpants right in front of her eyes. That was the last I saw of her and it took my years to find another lady to do the deed.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 269
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 8:09:06 AM
Got into doggy position and started to smell something foul. The smell became worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore and had to stop and say something ....


She had forgotten a tampon up there.


It is a foul odour one should not smell more than once in a lifetime.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 270
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 2:21:13 PM
I was a young fellow in South America and rarely got my parents car. So one of my friends had a nice car so we took these girls out to this very obscure place where you could see the lights of the whole city. The view was breathtaking, kind of the lights of LA at night, but you can also the the contours of the mountains made of lights. Because we were three couples, and the girls were kind of modest and didn't want to have sex in front of each other, the driver took the front, another friend and his date took the back and well, me and my date went outside. So we walk up the steep road and sit on the concrete. This is one of those private access roads to some water tank, so we have complete privacy, unless is someone with a car that knows all those mountains.
I put my jacket on the ground and sit on it and my girl sits on me and we begin to kiss and fondle each other. We move here or there and in one of these motions moved the jacket sideways and as we put our hand down are now covered with ants and are stung over and over again. To make things worse, when we go to the car the occupants are not too inclined to let us in until my date gets really, really pissed off and then all the girls get really pissed off at the guys for being such insensitive SOBs.

She got a few bites. I got a lot. My arm was all puffy the next day. Fortunately I never got bitten on my private parts.

Moral of the story, never, ever sit, day or night on the join points on concrete. Ants love those spots.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 271
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 3:37:05 PM

Got into doggy position and started to smell something foul.
The smell became worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore and had to stop and say something ....
She had forgotten a tampon up there.

Oh, those little buggers like to crawl up there and marinate for a while...

Moral of the story, never, ever sit, day or night on the join points on concrete. Ants love those spots.

... and to instead choose to pork a girl on Top of the car, while the two other friends shag inside of it. But never at a drive-in.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 272
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 3:40:56 PM
^^^^^ Oh, are you saying you've had a similar exp ?

She went to the gyno to check it out. Her kids were waiting in the waiting room .
They asked her afterward what the " horrible smell " was - they could smell it from the waiting room !!!!!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 273
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 4:08:45 PM

^^^^^ Oh, are you saying you've had a similar exp ?

Not to the point where it smelled like Chunky Soup that's been sitting in the attic for ten years, no -- but a "missing tampon" that was found days later thru what was thought of as a harmless oral sex session ("It's a boy!"). Also with another gal, there was a missing (used) condom. A couple days after said porking, stopping by her place then playing a video game, she unbuckles her belt, shucks down her jeans, and laughs... I'm chuckling, but also thinking she's wanting a spur of the moment get-it-on. She hold me back and says wait-wait, as she dug into herself underneath her panties. I'm confused, as I'm just watching her go at it like trying to find some pocket change. And then out comes the missing condom ("It's a girl!").
 chinook1111
Joined: 4/1/2016
Msg: 274
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/12/2016 7:25:34 AM
This section sure is raunchy.

What was the point of the condom if she left it in there?I dunno NG......
 FlamingHotCheetos3
Joined: 5/6/2016
Msg: 275
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/19/2016 6:07:39 PM
I got shit (mixed with lube) all over my hand while fisting my ex. I told him, "Next time, we're using gloves"

I vomited on a guy's****after he throat-****ed me too hard.

However, they weren't as bad as they could have been because neither party treated the other any differently after such mishaps.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 276
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History
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/19/2016 6:19:11 PM

I got shit (mixed with lube) all over my hand while fisting my ex. I told him, "Next time, we're using gloves"

Fisting a guy's a$$?! LOL! How dare there be sh!t on your hands? How in the world did a "next time" come to mind after such a "i lost a bet" endeavor? :)

I vomited on a guy's****after he throat-****ed me too hard.

Now that, I could understand. Some of the casualties of, well, casual sex. I wonder how it felt for him...

What was the point of the condom if she left it in there?I dunno NG......

The point of the condom was for it's normal thing -- protection & to prevent pregnancy. It was one of those things after the sex and rolling over, you reflexively make a move to throw the condom away... oh wait, where's the condom?? Kind of like coming home from the grocery store and you make your habitual move to take your child out of the back seat... oh wait, where did she go?!

With the condom, and drunk losing track of every move and being a bit out of it, you figure in the dark it's laying around somewhere. You don't remember taking it off, but ya had to, but feel around. Never found it, and she feels in herself and says it's not there. Must have been kicked around somewhere. Hmmm. I've lost a sock like that. No big deal. Sh!t happens (and obviously also from fisting someone; see above post). But yeah, freaked me out the used condom was lodged inside her where days later she gave birth to it.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 277
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/19/2016 9:27:02 PM
Fingered a filly's fanny one time, had a similar result. As for the oral sex, a female friend mentioned one time going down on her guy with a sinus issue, and *residue* ended up there. I believe someone here posted a similar thing, that quite a suction can be created inside the mouth.
 chinook1111
Joined: 4/1/2016
Msg: 278
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/21/2016 7:57:05 PM
@NG
I can understand the alcohol and whatever else.Im kinda thinking it's a necessity....

Ever think about some quality over quantity by chance?

@cheetos
That's too bad,doesn't sound like the guy had much style.

Worst things were broken condoms and the cops shining a light in my car as a teenager.
 Strider324
Joined: 2/17/2016
Msg: 279
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/22/2016 9:32:37 AM
I'm thinking it was the night her cat launched itself from the dresser like some superhero from a DC Comic and firmly planted every claw into my thrusting butt cheeks. My scream was reminiscent of Minnie Ripperton.

On the other hand - it was accompanied by quite a powerful climax.
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