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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???      Home login  
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 luvs2bme
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 294
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???Page 15 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
Ugh... I got the ball of my tongue ring stuck in the tip of his d*ck. He grabbed my head and stopped me. Said, "What the hell?" and I said, "Ah tink mah tun ith sthuk tah yar dak". OMG OMG OMG!!!! I was apparently way too vigorous (as he requested) and it just slipped right inside him. I don't have the tongue ring anymore.
 ilovedragons
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 295
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:38:51 PM
Ok my ex and I had had a few too many screeming nazis one night (its a shot jager and pepermint schnaps) and not only did we pop an airmattress but I also puked on his clothes while he wasnt wearing them. The next morning he had to wear some of mine home. He lived and worked with one of his buddies and just walked by him like nothing and said I will be ready for work in 15 min is there any coffee. I on the other hand was so embarassed.
 kmm52072
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 296
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:47:39 PM
I was giving an ex lover a bj and right as he was cumming he decided to say something funny and as luck would have it, I started laughing as his cum was shooting down my throat...he was a definite forceful cummer...well, I started laughing just as his cum was shooting down my throat and it went down my air pipe...made me start coughing and as cum was cumming out my nose he was getting the proverbial shower of his own spooge!
 longlocks40
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 297
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 8:57:06 PM
I threw up on a guy while having oral. It was very yecky and embarrassing.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 298
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 9:49:39 PM
LOL, this is the funniest thread ever.
Ok, was with my bf long long ago at bike week in Daytona, and my best friend was with her guy too, and they had rented a house down there with several other friends. After a wild night of drinking and partying, we all paired off to our respective rooms. One thing lead to another, of course, and me being rather vocal when my well-endowed partner was hitting what I like to refer to as the 'cuss button' which is that special spot deep within that makes me cuss like a longshoreman for some reason. Well, I was hollering out 'Fvck me like a 20 dollar whore god-dmmit', and he was putting it to me for all he was worth. Apparently the walls were not too thick, and in mid-stroke, I hear my friend's bf holler out, 'Oh for God's Sake, someone give her a 20 and get her to shut the hell up!' Well, needless to say, I start giggling, and so does he, and the mood was lost. The next morning I had to face all the couples at the breakfast table, and they all started clapping and gave us a standing ovation.
Yeah, I was mortified. Now when my bf hits that spot, I shove my face deep in the pillow...my apartment wall is shared by a viccar...can't be letting him hear all my business, now can I?
LOL
Beth
 Technical Buddha
Joined: 3/11/2005
Msg: 299
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 9:49:57 PM
Was doing it in the car in the park, about 11 at night. Passenger side window was rolled down a little bit. Curious police officer got an eyeful.

We got a ticket. :(
 goodone4ya
Joined: 10/12/2004
Msg: 300
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 10:09:07 PM
I have three bad sex stories that i can remember.

1. When i was in my teens-me and my friends partied all the time. We would get drunk with groups of girls and end up making out anywhere. I lived in a pretty tall building, so after a night of beers me and a female friend go towards the top of the building in the stairwell. I tried to hit it from behind but it wouldnt go in. She finally said lets try something else and went down on me. It was feeling really gd-and when i was about to release i caught a bad case of the bubble guts. A silent but deadly one slipped out. She kept going-i looked in shock. Another one slipped out-and another-to the point where i was holding my own nose. I looked at her and told her she could stop-but she kept going while i was farting the whole time-gave me a line that its natural and she didnt mind. I finally was able to finish-and she pulled me out of her mouth and started smackin her face with it-i spilled everywhere. Instead of walking all the way down the stairs we got on the elevator to go back down outside. One of the females that lived on the floor got on the elevator with us-and started laughin at the female. She was laughin so hard she had tears in her eyes. Still drunk i looked at the girl i got on the elevator with and she had jizz on her neck-in her hair and on her back.
 goodone4ya
Joined: 10/12/2004
Msg: 301
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 10:14:03 PM
I was in a long term relationship. We would have sex sometimes for long periods of time. One night she was on top riding me well. She came a couple of times and i started to really get into it, i started grabing her hips and making her slam me a lil deeper into her. One of the times she came down on my shaft it started to feel diffrent. The top of my shaft felt like it was stuck inside her. When she tried to get off of me-i was stuck inside her. She looked at me with huge eyes and i freaked-after my erection dwindled down-i was able to get out of her-but it scared the shit out of me
 goodone4ya
Joined: 10/12/2004
Msg: 302
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 10:24:12 PM
last one

My ex was heavy into the lifestyle. She loved women and sometimes we would bring females to bed with us. One paticular female we liked alot. Things got hot and heavy and they started to sex eachother in front of me. They both moaned for me to get undressed and serve em-so i did. We had fantastic sex that night. Same woman comes over again for a repeat performance. My lady at the time just sucked her breasts-and they wanted me to be the first to penetrate. She opened her legs and i just stuck the head in while my lady was sucking her breasts. To get into it more while i was just strokin the tip in i started to kiss my girlfriend. When we went to switch positions my lady looked at me like ok ram it all the way in-enuff with the teasing give it to her. Excited i did just that-i felt her walls crumble as i pushed more and more of me inside her. I got two maybe 3 good pumps and when i pulled out the nastiest smell-came out of her. A mixture of blood-fish and poop lingered right outta her. I literally jumped off the bed and out the room in one step-ripped the rubba off and started scrubbin myself in the sink. My girl comes in behind me and was like talk about a surprise-u pulled that stench outta her-crazy cuz when i was using the tip of my shaft there was no scent. The second i went balls deep and pulled out it was like spraying the room with fishpoopblood air spray the extra strength kind

yuck!!!!!
 goodone4ya
Joined: 10/12/2004
Msg: 303
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 10:34:46 PM
ok ok this is really the last one-this isnt disgusting its disturbing and really not funny at all.

My ex and i got close with another female. She and her kids sometimes would spend the nite with us. We werent doing anything with her sexually at the time-just hang out watch a couple of movies and let all the kids play together. Things heated up between all of us. We all flirted with eachother silently and when the kids went to bed it was on. My girlfriend at the time turned some tunes on and turned off the lights. The other female was white-and what happened next scared the hell outta me. They were both nakid on the bed and it was pitch black. I got my girlfriend off first and laid on top of our friend. I kissed on her neck and pushed myself up so that i wasnt laying on her. Now it was pitch black in my bedroom and when i looked down at her i seen bruises on her from under her breasts all the way down to her calves. I freaked out. Jumped outta bed and turn the lights on. She being nervous hid under the covers. My girlfriend asked me whats wrong-and i said pull the covers off her-when she did the bruises i seen in the dark were now visible to my girlfriend. We both freaked out-and found out she had an abusive boyfriend that beat the shit out of her before she came over to our house. You know the bruises had to be bad if i seen em in the dark-one of the worst nights i ever had during sex-i didnt care though-to me it wasnt about the nut. I just wanted to make sure she was ok. We didnt even finish that nite and neither of us cared-we just held her and watched tv till we fell asleep
 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 304
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 10:38:21 PM
I got held up in traffic and by the time I got there they were finished.
 PorgyinCO
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 305
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 10:48:19 PM
Being an old fart I've had several.
16 y.o dau came to stay with me and new wife. Opened the bdrm door and gasped: "what's she doing on top??"

First time I ever got any. Christmas Eve tree @ family doings. Sis said we should go to her/bil's place to get a box of presents. Got it going in their bed, g'f left her nylon's hanging on the headboard.

One winter night a cop shined his light in the window and knocked, told the girl: "you'd better get your clothes on younglady, I'm taking you home". Next day at work/grocery bagger. Her uncle came in and started attacking me. Hmmmmm!!

Right after first wife got mar. Bought a small trl, set it on concrete blocks. Moved 50 miles from family. In the middle of it her Dad was going to shake the trailer and the blocks crushed. Nearly tipped the trailer over! We rolled off between the bed and wall, bed tipped over on top us naked. Had to get him to help get the bed off us so we could get up. He was panic'd thinking we'd gotten hurt. Fooled 'em, we finished!!
Another time in the same trl. yr old kitten sunk her claws in my ball sack!

Another trailer yrs later the bed's leg's caved in and dumped us on the floor. We finished. As I was getting up, she said: "you just got me pregnant". Sure as H, 8 mo 2 wks later son was born. Hmm!

A g/f and I on the Galvestton beach in the surf. Felt great with the wave's hitting our crotch's. That sand sure cut us both up, oh man does that salt burn in the cuts. Another time, she moved and I jammed it into the sand, OUCH!

Like another poster. Hammering away with 12" strokes and 6" peg, rammed it in the back door. My first tail too. "OOOHHH, uhhh damn, "Don't move, it feels good", so we finished.

Another g/f was sitting on it as we set in her Dad's easy chair when Mom came in from outside. We just set there, she was squeezing it, sure felt good. "dau, come help me put the groceries away" "just a minute Mom" "right now I said!!" About that time she went into another room. Gave us a few seconds to seperate and put my tools away.
 PorgyinCO
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 306
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 7/22/2009 11:04:14 PM
Don't know as they're the worst time's.
But, licking n sucking clit. Got a fat lip a time or two,
bloody nose once and the funniest one. Lost a contact lense in the middle of it.
Mighty fun place for a mostly blind guy to hunt for a contact.
 chris48mt
Joined: 4/9/2016
Msg: 307
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 7:28:59 AM
Many years ago when I was young, I was desperate to experience a prostate massage but could,nt find anyone to give me one. Eventually an older lady and part time fb agreed on the condition that she gave me two glycerine suppositories first, to make sure that I was nicely cleaned out. I agreed like a shot, when the time came she inserted them into my bum and I pulled my underpants up and we sat together on the sofa chatting. She said I would need the loo in about 40 mins. After 10 minutes I got the most powerful stomach cramps, as I stood up to run for the loo I uncontrollably filled my underpants right in front of her eyes. That was the last I saw of her and it took my years to find another lady to do the deed.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 308
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 8:09:06 AM
Got into doggy position and started to smell something foul. The smell became worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore and had to stop and say something ....


She had forgotten a tampon up there.


It is a foul odour one should not smell more than once in a lifetime.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 309
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 2:21:13 PM
I was a young fellow in South America and rarely got my parents car. So one of my friends had a nice car so we took these girls out to this very obscure place where you could see the lights of the whole city. The view was breathtaking, kind of the lights of LA at night, but you can also the the contours of the mountains made of lights. Because we were three couples, and the girls were kind of modest and didn't want to have sex in front of each other, the driver took the front, another friend and his date took the back and well, me and my date went outside. So we walk up the steep road and sit on the concrete. This is one of those private access roads to some water tank, so we have complete privacy, unless is someone with a car that knows all those mountains.
I put my jacket on the ground and sit on it and my girl sits on me and we begin to kiss and fondle each other. We move here or there and in one of these motions moved the jacket sideways and as we put our hand down are now covered with ants and are stung over and over again. To make things worse, when we go to the car the occupants are not too inclined to let us in until my date gets really, really pissed off and then all the girls get really pissed off at the guys for being such insensitive SOBs.

She got a few bites. I got a lot. My arm was all puffy the next day. Fortunately I never got bitten on my private parts.

Moral of the story, never, ever sit, day or night on the join points on concrete. Ants love those spots.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 310
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 3:37:05 PM

Got into doggy position and started to smell something foul.
The smell became worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore and had to stop and say something ....
She had forgotten a tampon up there.

Oh, those little buggers like to crawl up there and marinate for a while...

Moral of the story, never, ever sit, day or night on the join points on concrete. Ants love those spots.

... and to instead choose to pork a girl on Top of the car, while the two other friends shag inside of it. But never at a drive-in.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 311
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 3:40:56 PM
^^^^^ Oh, are you saying you've had a similar exp ?

She went to the gyno to check it out. Her kids were waiting in the waiting room .
They asked her afterward what the " horrible smell " was - they could smell it from the waiting room !!!!!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 312
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 4:08:45 PM

^^^^^ Oh, are you saying you've had a similar exp ?

Not to the point where it smelled like Chunky Soup that's been sitting in the attic for ten years, no -- but a "missing tampon" that was found days later thru what was thought of as a harmless oral sex session ("It's a boy!"). Also with another gal, there was a missing (used) condom. A couple days after said porking, stopping by her place then playing a video game, she unbuckles her belt, shucks down her jeans, and laughs... I'm chuckling, but also thinking she's wanting a spur of the moment get-it-on. She hold me back and says wait-wait, as she dug into herself underneath her panties. I'm confused, as I'm just watching her go at it like trying to find some pocket change. And then out comes the missing condom ("It's a girl!").
 chinook1111
Joined: 4/1/2016
Msg: 313
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/12/2016 7:25:34 AM
This section sure is raunchy.

What was the point of the condom if she left it in there?I dunno NG......
 FlamingHotCheetos3
Joined: 5/6/2016
Msg: 314
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/19/2016 6:07:39 PM
I got shit (mixed with lube) all over my hand while fisting my ex. I told him, "Next time, we're using gloves"

I vomited on a guy's****after he throat-****ed me too hard.

However, they weren't as bad as they could have been because neither party treated the other any differently after such mishaps.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 315
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/19/2016 6:19:11 PM

I got shit (mixed with lube) all over my hand while fisting my ex. I told him, "Next time, we're using gloves"

Fisting a guy's a$$?! LOL! How dare there be sh!t on your hands? How in the world did a "next time" come to mind after such a "i lost a bet" endeavor? :)

I vomited on a guy's****after he throat-****ed me too hard.

Now that, I could understand. Some of the casualties of, well, casual sex. I wonder how it felt for him...

What was the point of the condom if she left it in there?I dunno NG......

The point of the condom was for it's normal thing -- protection & to prevent pregnancy. It was one of those things after the sex and rolling over, you reflexively make a move to throw the condom away... oh wait, where's the condom?? Kind of like coming home from the grocery store and you make your habitual move to take your child out of the back seat... oh wait, where did she go?!

With the condom, and drunk losing track of every move and being a bit out of it, you figure in the dark it's laying around somewhere. You don't remember taking it off, but ya had to, but feel around. Never found it, and she feels in herself and says it's not there. Must have been kicked around somewhere. Hmmm. I've lost a sock like that. No big deal. Sh!t happens (and obviously also from fisting someone; see above post). But yeah, freaked me out the used condom was lodged inside her where days later she gave birth to it.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 316
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/19/2016 9:27:02 PM
Fingered a filly's fanny one time, had a similar result. As for the oral sex, a female friend mentioned one time going down on her guy with a sinus issue, and *residue* ended up there. I believe someone here posted a similar thing, that quite a suction can be created inside the mouth.
 chinook1111
Joined: 4/1/2016
Msg: 317
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/21/2016 7:57:05 PM
@NG
I can understand the alcohol and whatever else.Im kinda thinking it's a necessity....

Ever think about some quality over quantity by chance?

@cheetos
That's too bad,doesn't sound like the guy had much style.

Worst things were broken condoms and the cops shining a light in my car as a teenager.
 Strider324
Joined: 2/17/2016
Msg: 318
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/22/2016 9:32:37 AM
I'm thinking it was the night her cat launched itself from the dresser like some superhero from a DC Comic and firmly planted every claw into my thrusting butt cheeks. My scream was reminiscent of Minnie Ripperton.

On the other hand - it was accompanied by quite a powerful climax.
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