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 parklabrea
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 267
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???Page 16 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
I got held up in traffic and by the time I got there they were finished.
 chris48mt
Joined: 4/9/2016
Msg: 268
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 7:28:59 AM
Many years ago when I was young, I was desperate to experience a prostate massage but could,nt find anyone to give me one. Eventually an older lady and part time fb agreed on the condition that she gave me two glycerine suppositories first, to make sure that I was nicely cleaned out. I agreed like a shot, when the time came she inserted them into my bum and I pulled my underpants up and we sat together on the sofa chatting. She said I would need the loo in about 40 mins. After 10 minutes I got the most powerful stomach cramps, as I stood up to run for the loo I uncontrollably filled my underpants right in front of her eyes. That was the last I saw of her and it took my years to find another lady to do the deed.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 269
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 8:09:06 AM
Got into doggy position and started to smell something foul. The smell became worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore and had to stop and say something ....


She had forgotten a tampon up there.


It is a foul odour one should not smell more than once in a lifetime.
 Inner_Gorilla
Joined: 12/3/2015
Msg: 270
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 2:21:13 PM
I was a young fellow in South America and rarely got my parents car. So one of my friends had a nice car so we took these girls out to this very obscure place where you could see the lights of the whole city. The view was breathtaking, kind of the lights of LA at night, but you can also the the contours of the mountains made of lights. Because we were three couples, and the girls were kind of modest and didn't want to have sex in front of each other, the driver took the front, another friend and his date took the back and well, me and my date went outside. So we walk up the steep road and sit on the concrete. This is one of those private access roads to some water tank, so we have complete privacy, unless is someone with a car that knows all those mountains.
I put my jacket on the ground and sit on it and my girl sits on me and we begin to kiss and fondle each other. We move here or there and in one of these motions moved the jacket sideways and as we put our hand down are now covered with ants and are stung over and over again. To make things worse, when we go to the car the occupants are not too inclined to let us in until my date gets really, really pissed off and then all the girls get really pissed off at the guys for being such insensitive SOBs.

She got a few bites. I got a lot. My arm was all puffy the next day. Fortunately I never got bitten on my private parts.

Moral of the story, never, ever sit, day or night on the join points on concrete. Ants love those spots.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 271
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 3:37:05 PM

Got into doggy position and started to smell something foul.
The smell became worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore and had to stop and say something ....
She had forgotten a tampon up there.

Oh, those little buggers like to crawl up there and marinate for a while...

Moral of the story, never, ever sit, day or night on the join points on concrete. Ants love those spots.

... and to instead choose to pork a girl on Top of the car, while the two other friends shag inside of it. But never at a drive-in.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 272
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 3:40:56 PM
^^^^^ Oh, are you saying you've had a similar exp ?

She went to the gyno to check it out. Her kids were waiting in the waiting room .
They asked her afterward what the " horrible smell " was - they could smell it from the waiting room !!!!!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 273
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/9/2016 4:08:45 PM

^^^^^ Oh, are you saying you've had a similar exp ?

Not to the point where it smelled like Chunky Soup that's been sitting in the attic for ten years, no -- but a "missing tampon" that was found days later thru what was thought of as a harmless oral sex session ("It's a boy!"). Also with another gal, there was a missing (used) condom. A couple days after said porking, stopping by her place then playing a video game, she unbuckles her belt, shucks down her jeans, and laughs... I'm chuckling, but also thinking she's wanting a spur of the moment get-it-on. She hold me back and says wait-wait, as she dug into herself underneath her panties. I'm confused, as I'm just watching her go at it like trying to find some pocket change. And then out comes the missing condom ("It's a girl!").
 chinook1111
Joined: 4/1/2016
Msg: 274
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/12/2016 7:25:34 AM
This section sure is raunchy.

What was the point of the condom if she left it in there?I dunno NG......
 FlamingHotCheetos3
Joined: 5/6/2016
Msg: 275
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/19/2016 6:07:39 PM
I got shit (mixed with lube) all over my hand while fisting my ex. I told him, "Next time, we're using gloves"

I vomited on a guy's****after he throat-****ed me too hard.

However, they weren't as bad as they could have been because neither party treated the other any differently after such mishaps.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 276
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Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/19/2016 6:19:11 PM

I got shit (mixed with lube) all over my hand while fisting my ex. I told him, "Next time, we're using gloves"

Fisting a guy's a$$?! LOL! How dare there be sh!t on your hands? How in the world did a "next time" come to mind after such a "i lost a bet" endeavor? :)

I vomited on a guy's****after he throat-****ed me too hard.

Now that, I could understand. Some of the casualties of, well, casual sex. I wonder how it felt for him...

What was the point of the condom if she left it in there?I dunno NG......

The point of the condom was for it's normal thing -- protection & to prevent pregnancy. It was one of those things after the sex and rolling over, you reflexively make a move to throw the condom away... oh wait, where's the condom?? Kind of like coming home from the grocery store and you make your habitual move to take your child out of the back seat... oh wait, where did she go?!

With the condom, and drunk losing track of every move and being a bit out of it, you figure in the dark it's laying around somewhere. You don't remember taking it off, but ya had to, but feel around. Never found it, and she feels in herself and says it's not there. Must have been kicked around somewhere. Hmmm. I've lost a sock like that. No big deal. Sh!t happens (and obviously also from fisting someone; see above post). But yeah, freaked me out the used condom was lodged inside her where days later she gave birth to it.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 277
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/19/2016 9:27:02 PM
Fingered a filly's fanny one time, had a similar result. As for the oral sex, a female friend mentioned one time going down on her guy with a sinus issue, and *residue* ended up there. I believe someone here posted a similar thing, that quite a suction can be created inside the mouth.
 chinook1111
Joined: 4/1/2016
Msg: 278
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/21/2016 7:57:05 PM
@NG
I can understand the alcohol and whatever else.Im kinda thinking it's a necessity....

Ever think about some quality over quantity by chance?

@cheetos
That's too bad,doesn't sound like the guy had much style.

Worst things were broken condoms and the cops shining a light in my car as a teenager.
 Strider324
Joined: 2/17/2016
Msg: 279
Worst thing that has ever happened during sex???
Posted: 5/22/2016 9:32:37 AM
I'm thinking it was the night her cat launched itself from the dresser like some superhero from a DC Comic and firmly planted every claw into my thrusting butt cheeks. My scream was reminiscent of Minnie Ripperton.

On the other hand - it was accompanied by quite a powerful climax.
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