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 Ave Caesar
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 61
Middle-aged Tardy DatesPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Not being prompt or not showing up at all is very impolite, rude behavior.
 Icestorm
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 63
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 1/23/2008 9:22:50 AM
My name is Linda, and I am Habitually Late.

It's got nothing to do with you and how I feel about you and your time. It's about how I stuff my life full of activities and people and tasks and I run everything up to the last minute. I don't expect you to wait on me; I don't expect you to tolerate my tardiness.

I am a horrible navigator--I can get lost in my own neighborhoold. (I'm looking into buying a GPS now that they are more affordable.) I can't read maps and I'm horrible with directions--somehow I always screw it up. It is very frustrating for me. I'm an intelligent woman--why can't I do this simple thing? Again, EXTREMELY frustrating.

I'm late for work most days. But I skip lunch and work late most days. I don't accept jobs where the employer expects me to be there at 8:00 sharp. I accept jobs where the employer is flexible about time but rigid about work quality--I produce extremely high quality work.

As for meeting up with people--I make as many meetings at my house as possible (I'm not talking about first dates, talking about people I know). I have interesting things around my house for them to entertain themselves with--music, fun books, drinks, food, sports on the TV, or other guests.

Yes, I'm "relaxed" about punctuality, but I like to think I do have other positive qualities. I realize those qualities will never outweigh some people's requirements for punctuality and I know those people will always be unhappy with me over punctuality and so I don't date or socialize with those people.

What I guess I'm trying to say is...being late for everything is like being overweight. Yeah, I could make more effort or care more or just use self-discipline or maybe it's a serious personality flaw for which I should seek professional care.

I'm not perfect. I'm late for stuff. Please try to forgive me for this horrible, horrible flaw that negates every other possible positive quality I might have. Thank you for reading this. Gotta go--late for a meeting!
 Jac Biker Gal
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 64
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 1/23/2008 10:00:57 AM
I find it really hard to be punctual, always have so it's not my age its my nature, but that doesn't mean I don't try my best or disrespect someone elses time, but when you have work, the traffic home being variable, teenagers, and a busy life it can be hard sometimes. If I know I simply won't be able to make it on time I text or call, unless I'm driving cos then I can't use my phone! Last night I got home cooked a meal and was due out at 8, but when I came to take a shower, it wasn't working, so I had to turn the immersion on to take a bath, as I did so I sent a text to say I had a small domestic problem, could we please meet at 8.30. Lets face it if you make an effort and are genuinly sorry if you are late most people should be tolerant, I wud rather be a little late and apologise than end up dead through trying to rush on the roads , yes ok the tolerance can only be up to a point, bout 30-40 minutes for me with no contact, but we all have our faults it's part of what makes us unique. Had one guy contact me after 2 months after he stood me up for the 3rd time said he had been in an accident, but after the bullsh*t I had from him after the 2 previous times I decided to tell him where to put his excuses.
 SPARKLE_PLENTY
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 66
Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 5/19/2011 6:25:48 PM
i think being late isn't a bad habit limited to just dating-it's disrespectful across the board..friends, family, co-workers

of course emergencies do happen
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 67
Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 5/19/2011 6:56:31 PM
I have had a few very late dates and although they apologized, etc. in all 3 cases they were very self centered in other areas (not just time management). I think it speaks of a persons character... to be late and make someone wait for them... and I KNOW there are exceptions and sometimes things do happen beyond our control. (Which is why I'll probably give the next tardy dude the benefit of the doubt.)

But then I'll come here and complain about him. That's fair.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 68
Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 5/20/2011 10:17:00 AM
I have never had a problem with anyone being late, I have had a couple of people not show though.
I never asked why, if you can't be responsible enough to give me a heads up, I consider you an inconsiderate person.
 SWEET_MAVERICK
Joined: 9/28/2013
Msg: 69
Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 11/15/2013 1:22:15 PM
If they call or text u to let u know they r running late, it is not so bad- but if it is habitual- I wouldn't get involved!
 sweetpe4u
Joined: 11/4/2013
Msg: 70
Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 11/15/2013 1:39:45 PM

In the future, I will wait 10 minutes and then leave. My time is valuable too.


Yes, you are correct. Your time is very valuable. I will wait 10 minutes and then delete them from my short term memory. No second chances, period.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 71
Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 11/18/2013 9:14:55 PM
angelicblondie- When I was young, I had a bad habit of being late, so much so I ticked off a friend that told me that chronic lateness was arrogant.
At first I rejected the notion, but it took root and I changed.
45+ is plenty of time for people to learn such a basic truth as other people's time is just as important as yours.
Late once, ok, but you better have a good excuse, more than once, you are history.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 72
Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 11/19/2013 12:26:37 AM
1. I never made an actual date for a first time meeting - all were short, inexpensive, and convenient for both of us.
2. I never agreed to meet someone to do anything I wouldn't already be OK with doing solo.
2a. My meetings were more things I was doing anyway, with an invite to join. I went and enjoyed myself regardless.
3. I never considered a person who didn't show a tragedy - I've learned that it's a good screening tool. Sometimes when they do show it's worse.
4. I never met someone I didn't talk to long enough to know something about their personality before taking the next step.
5. I like to get to a place early and get situated before they arrive - it just works better for me - but if someone's extremely late they run the risk of me meeting someone else while waiting, and that's happened to me more than once.
 curviest
Joined: 5/28/2010
Msg: 73
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 11/19/2013 6:58:21 AM
One lovely summer's day, when it seemed a shame to be in some dingy pub, I arranged to meet a first date on the seafront. I told him I would be sitting on the first bench to the east of Hastings Pier. And that was where I sat... and waited... and waited. I wasn't unduly worried because he was driving 30 miles to get here and could have been delayed in traffic.

After 30 minutes I rang his mobile, and he was on his way back to his car, having waited 40 minutes (he'd got there early) on the first bench the the WEST of the pier! So I explained that I'd waited half an hour on the bench on the other side of the pier, and said I was sorry he had misunderstood, adding, 'oh never mind, we've found each other now, I'll just stay exactly where I am and you can come and find me'. His reply was that the 40-minute wait had so pissed him off that he was no longer in the right frame of mind to meet anyone. After that he blanked me!
 DameWrite
Joined: 2/27/2010
Msg: 74
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 11/20/2013 5:31:27 PM
I have to build it into the program
2 hours late, (ferry was full ) 1 hour (ferry late) 1/2 hour (he got lost) 15min. late, Wow I'm impressed!
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 75
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates -- they're banging somebody from another site
Posted: 9/7/2018 3:17:31 AM
I make an effort to be on time, with a few minutes to spare beforehand, as so I'm not distracted or in a rush. I like to meet somebody when I'm calm and focused, for myself and so I can offer that to him. If he doesn't meet with me and it's been fifteen minutes and no message given (the time depends on where he's coming from and estimating traffic time, etc), I assume I'm doing the date alone...in which case, I won't waste my emotion, time it took me to get to the venue, and my personal preparation for the meeting on somebody who isn't there.

There is no such thing as a second chance because there was no first chance opportune for somebody who didn't want it. If they call to make an excuse, they're just 'breadcrumbing' you and before that happens, block them. Car accidents, family tragedies and sudden illnesses are convenient excuses, which is kind of sad they use these excuses because shit like this does happen. :(.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 76
Middle-aged Tardy Dates -- they're banging somebody from another site
Posted: 9/7/2018 9:17:36 AM


Middle-aged Tardy DatesPage 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4)
Ok, some friends & I have been talking about 1st dates...which is when you should be putting your best foot forward..


- I agree.






So what about poor time management by our dates/prospective dates? How long should one wait b4 bailing?


- you can wait up to 20 minutes.




If there is a miscommunication & one is stood up, do we give them a 2nd chance?


- nope! As the op said, people should be on their best behavior on the first date. Making a date or an appointment is just basic stuff - if someone can't do that, what do you think that relationship would look like? - probably not very good?!


I think you should be right on time - I'm usually on the dot.


Everybody who dates a lot will get stood up eventually. When they don't show, it's a sign you two are not a match, so they did you a favor.

http://www.disorderlylove.com/legally-blond-a-date-story/
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 77
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates -- they're banging somebody from another site
Posted: 9/7/2018 11:32:01 AM
OP if they don't call to tell me their running late I don't stick around not 5 minutes. If I am there still it's coincidence nothing more maybe it was another person was there talking to me, maybe I used can decided on another drink but they were done when they didn't inform me. Flakey behaviour will never change it's who they are if they don't respect you enough to call and inform you they might be late, what makes you think they won't do it again. Your time is valuable their lack of consideration in how their actions speaks volumes.

Miscommunication what part of 6pm Tuesday is miscommunicated to them or whatever day and time. You mean did they find something else to do waste your time now want forgiveness for their lack of consideration hmmm let me think I will respond to you after I think it over for awhile......

Few days they message you............

Few more days they message you.....

Yeah you magically lose their number paying them in kind.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 78
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates -- they're banging somebody from another site
Posted: 9/7/2018 11:35:08 AM

If he doesn't meet with me and it's been fifteen minutes and no message given (the time depends on where he's coming from and estimating traffic time, etc), I assume I'm doing the date alone...in which case, I won't waste my emotion, time it took me to get to the venue, and my personal preparation for the meeting on somebody who isn't there.

I recently had a date set up, with a gal I had a date with months ago, who reached out to me. In reaching back out to me, she told me on that 1st date as she was leaving, the Uber driver recognized me and said I said something rude about someone in their car one time (?). But she apologized as that being a legit reason since I was far away from the Uber driver and couldn't rely on them. I forgive... we chat, and later agree to go out on a date for dinner during the week. So on the day of the date, she's sparse in her texts.

At 2:30 she tells me I can pick her up if I'd like. I said, yeah, I'll do that. Where should I pick ya up at? At 4PM she responds by saying if at work, 4:30. Or at her place at 5:30. I say the latter, if that' scool, since I was still working. She says works for her! I respond by saying great, I'll be there around 5:30-5:45, and I just need your address. Crickets.

Just after 5PM, I ask if it's still cool? 10m later she sends me a text with an address. It's a gas station+fast food joint combo, and says just give me your ETA. I said since it's rush hour, around 5:40-5:45. She says Okay!

She texts me around 5:20, and we chat back n forth as I'm getting ready to leave, as she's wondering what to wear, etc. OK. Around 5:30 I leave, as I'm about 15m away. At 5:45 as I'm pulling up to this gas station, she says "I have no idea what to wear lol". I said I was just about there, and 1 minute later that I am. I said I take it you'll be a little while?

She responds by asking me what I'm wearing. I described my car and what I'm wearing but it's raining so I'm in my car. I asked if she was here already. She said no, she's still deciding what to wear. I said OK, and then I can swing by closer to where she's at to get her. She said she wasn't far.

So it was almost 6PM, and I ask if she still wants to meet me at this place since it's raining outside. She says "Did you make reservations somewhere?" I said "No... but I don't want to wait in my car for 10-15 min lol". No response.

So after I was waiting 18 minutes total, just after 6PM, I write "Soooo since it's past 15m past my ETA sitting here at a gas station, I'm guessing you weren't wanting to meet then." I put the phone in my pocket, I was Starving, and go into the fast food joint to order something.

5m later she texts me and says she's on her way now, and that she told me she was having a hard time choosing out an outfit. She then asks did I already leave? I said No. "Ordering in Wendy's. I figured you were razzing me lol." She said she wasn't going to have a date in Wendy's. I asked if she was here... she responded and said if she didn't want to go out on a date she wouldn't have me drive all the way out there. I said I wasn't implying a date at Wendy's... I was left with no answer so I ordered something since I figured ya weren't showing up. She then said it'd take her 15 minutes to get there.

So I call her. No answer. She then texts that she's so mad at me. She defended herself by saying she told me the outfit situation, and that she was so mad at me -- and I can have my Wendy's and she doesn't want to go out. Basically I was the bad guy - LOL. Crazy. Not that after that I would have wanted to go out with her anyway (and told her that).
 hey_suze
Joined: 8/28/2017
Msg: 79
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates -- they're banging somebody from another site
Posted: 9/7/2018 2:28:45 PM
^^^^^
Made me chuckle 😊
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 80
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates -- they're banging somebody from another site
Posted: 9/7/2018 2:54:38 PM
I am amazed at how many think a 6:00 date means they start getting ready at 6:00! my ex wife was bad enough, the next long term girlfriend would wash/dry her outfit AFTER I was dressed and ready to go and the last one, well we just never went out as it wasn't worth the aggravation! I would hardly call myself punctual in most ventures but always allow plenty of extra time incase of unexpected delays and exchange numbers, call before leaving and when I get there or if I have issues on the way. when I was on here 6-7 years ago, it was nothing for me to have several weekend dates by Monday or Tuesday and every one bail by Friday. no phone number, I don't leave the house.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 81
Middle-aged Tardy Dates -- they're banging somebody from another site
Posted: 9/7/2018 2:56:34 PM
Hey Suze ^ ^ ^ Me too, …………..so much for alllll that, "everyone prefers to text" ………….baloney. One phone call...……….would have told me everything I needed to know...…………..NEXT!
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 82
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates -- they're banging somebody from another site
Posted: 9/7/2018 5:07:52 PM
^I don't think he had really considered her after what happen months ago personally, that to me sounds like a razz I will believe you when I see you type thing. He did something like I would do sure there's the gas station fill up on my way home grab a bite all good, and idle chit chat messing around with a lady who really has no intention on meeting anyways if she shows bonus if not it's all good.

Give away him coming home from work and her looking for an outfit? Clearly she does not listen to anything he is really saying to her, he told her come as you are it won't make a difference I am in work clothes.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 83
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates -- they're banging somebody from another site
Posted: 9/7/2018 6:17:55 PM

Hey Suze ^ ^ ^ Me too, …………..so much for alllll that, "everyone prefers to text" ………….baloney. One phone call...

I actually did call her once she said she didn't want a date at Wendy's. Twice. She let it ring and not pick up, and in my description of her describing she was So mad at me for stepping into Wendy's (even though she was STILL 15 mins out - wow), she didn't want to talk on the phone because she was so mad at me. Then proceeded to text angrily. So yeah, she preferred text. Heck, she could hardly do that in that whole process prior to venting, which shocked me lol.

I think she was taking the Bus, probably due to a DUI, since she apparently has a decent job. And if picking out her clothing makes her miss a bus stop or two -- well dude, sit at the gas station and keep waiting! Be a gentleman! :)
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 84
Middle-aged Tardy Dates -- they're banging somebody from another site
Posted: 9/7/2018 6:46:39 PM

...........One phone call...……….would have told me everything I needed to know...…………..NEXT!


NG, LOL the punch line here IS; would have told me everything I needed to know

From the git go, IF a man wanted my attention he CALLED me.
IF I chose to not answer my phone, I would have to be ready to accept the consequences.
IF I called a man and I was fairly certain he was able to answer but chose to ignore my call...………... TBMF...……...NEXT!


LOL I don't suffer fools.

She was pissed...………... because you didn't dance to her tune. ( Drama queen) Wendy's had nothing to do with it!
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 85
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates -- they're banging somebody from another site
Posted: 9/8/2018 6:31:08 AM
Odd that she can't plan her use of time better than that. Can't see a valid reason for picking an outfit that close to a date. And is it odd that I would have found a date in a vehicle on a rainy early evening eating Wendy's together kind of nice?
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 86
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates -- they're banging somebody from another site
Posted: 9/8/2018 9:03:22 AM
^^^^^ I don't think it's odd. I agree!
 ksuser
Joined: 7/17/2018
Msg: 87
Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 9/8/2018 1:38:56 PM
kristeenmp "Middle-aged Tardy Dates"

Gosh, that guy was a jerk.
I had one leave me in a Mexican café, went to the bathroom never came back. I laugh about it now. He texted me and said: he had to go. I sat there and had a couple of drinks and some chips and dip, then went home. I had many dates before and after that, all good. So, I never took that thing seriously...the one thing that gets me. Is why do these middle aged balding men think they need a 20 year old model type...I mean really.?
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