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 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 94
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Middle-aged Tardy DatesPage 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
That's a funny story. Sounds to me like she had cold feet, hadn't been sure about meeting you and purposely sabotaged it.

I admit I'm not a punctual person. Everyone I know knows this. So they often give me a time earlier than what they are thinking so I'm on time without realizing it. The thing is, when I was a kid, my mom was early for everything. Used to drop us kids off a half early for everything and we often got slack for being too early, To this very day I hate being early for something. I will in in my car and wait for the exact time before I have to be somewhere to go inside.
 Tom├ísIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 95
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 9/12/2018 12:46:23 PM
So your mother teaches you how to be respectable and you hated? You do realize when you are not punctual when you make arrangements with someone and decide not to call, or show up until way late you are saying fvck you cause you don't matter... You have no consideration for other people's time and how valuable it is to them. That is what you say on a first date really? These "guys" who accept that and allow it to happen in other words he just wants to bang you.

See her tardiness tells me she is late on bills so there's some bounced cheques great relationship material let me tell you, she is late with her kids or someone else's time she only think she matters. She is inconsiderate to others feelings and has no respect for them you say all and then she refuses to accept an sort of responsibility for it like all so it's everyone else's fault she can't be on time when leaving a half hr earlier would have fixed everything. I had a woman show 15 minutes late once and she acted like it was nothing I said okay have a good time are date started 15 mins ago not my problem you weren't here good luck getting a table cause they don't wait.
 Rumours
Joined: 6/4/2018
Msg: 96
Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 9/13/2018 8:00:19 AM
I hate being late...so, I am usually early for everything.
I think it is so rude for others to always be late....especially for those people that have let it become a habit.
I had a friend who was always late to everything or wouldn't return calls/texts
After a few years of always waiting...at restaurants, in cars or holding up my life for her to answer a text...I just quit trying to be friends anymore.
I assumed "I" wasn't important enough to her. Especially, when she knew how much it annoyed me.

As for dates....I left one that was 20 minutes late...he could have text me.
That's why I exchange numbers.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 97
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 9/16/2018 9:57:12 AM
Have been fortunate nobody has been later than 5 minutes on any of my dates for years. One gal I've seen in the last year, she and I have a knack for showing up nearly exactly the same time!

If someone is later and hasn't given the courtesy of sending a text indicating they will probably be late (ideally estimating what time they might arrive), I am likely to pass the free time by viewing profiles on Tinder. If the date location has babes, I might notice them. Anything after 15 minutes with no communication, I might leave.

Probably won't leave because I try to choose something I would enjoy doing alone in case I'm stood up or she has an emergency that justifies cancelling. It would really be bad to go to a significant distance to a place you wouldn't think of going alone, for example I wouldn't go to a coffee shop in a gentrified neighborhood or a far suburb with cultureless chain retail stores. There should be a place to do something interesting, for example often I've chosen a place near a greenway bike trail so if the first meet is a dud, I can salvage the trip with a bike ride when the meet is over. Or near a store where I need to go anyway (at least two first meets have been extended because she joined me as I went grocery shopping after we had our lunch or dinner at an inexpensive restaurant in the same area). Then there won't be the regret of burning a gallon of gas or wasting time for a bad date.

One of the most dysfunctional behaviors I can think of is *deliberately* making someone wait as an attempt to be "dominant" or just to annoy the other person.

Being unintentionally late can be forgivable: underestimated the driving time to an unfamiliar location, spent too much time messing with her hair, was a bit scatterbrained, etc. But if they're late on purpose, forget it! They probably have other malicious behavior.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 98
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 9/16/2018 5:05:44 PM
When it comes to dates I do not want to be the first one there left waiting. I get much more nervous. If the guy I'm seeing gets there first at least I don't have to sit there worrying about being stood up.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 99
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 9/16/2018 5:15:00 PM

When it comes to dates I do not want to be the first one there left waiting. I get much more nervous. If the guy I'm seeing gets there first at least I don't have to sit there worrying about being stood up.

BUT, as you pointed out in another thread... you have your cell phone to play on! See? Problem solved! ;)

I don't mind getting to a bar earlier than a friend (or date) of mine. With a date of a girl I really like, I in fact prefer to get there early and get a drink under my belt and scope the landscape, first.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 100
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Middle-aged Tardy Dates
Posted: 9/16/2018 7:38:42 PM
I am always early. For everything. When meeting for first dates I always like to get there first, order, and pay for my beverage. If things progress that is great, we will take it a step at a time. If for some reason I want to end the date (even abruptly) I can without having to worry about a tab.
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